Tutor Me
by Lovingcsfanfiction
Summary: Killian just got accepted to Harvard and needs to find a way to pay for college. Emma is struggling in her senior math course and needs to raise her grade if she wants to graduate on time. What happens when an academically driven boy winds up tutoring one of the most popular girls at Storybrooke High? CS High School AU. Rated T.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello and welcome to my first modern-day AU. I have 3.5 chapters done and I'm hoping to update every few days. Thanks to my amazing betas Emma and Kat for all the input into the story. Here we go on another adventure!**

**I do not own Emma, Killian, or any other Once characters.**

* * *

Mr. Spencer was known for being the toughest math teacher at Storybrooke High School. Although he was fair, he took no prisoners when it came to his Algebra 2 class.

And, unfortunately, Emma was a prisoner.

She had never been good at math. Her social workers always believed it was because she was moving around from foster family to foster family, and the different schools had different math curriculum. Her teachers assumed she just wasn't applying herself. Emma really didn't know the true meaning behind her dislike for the course, but each day brought more and more stress, confusion, and fear.

Senior year Algebra has definitely put up a fight for Emma, and today was the breaking point. Each test she took seemed to be worse than the rest, and Mr. Spencer had told her last week that this was the final straw.

This was the reason Emma's heart began to race as Mr. Spencer started passing back their most recent algebra test. Emma had studied really hard – even skipped Ruby's party last Friday and stayed in instead – and if she didn't get a B- or better, she was going to have to go to remedial math.

Mr. Spencer was pacing the rows, giving back papers with red marks on it. Emma watched as he turned around to look at her, licking his thumb to help take off the top piece of paper. She started breathing heavily as he slowly stepped towards her, but it wasn't until she saw him fold the paper and hold it upside down until her stomach officially dropped.

Folding the test paper always meant one thing: the teacher wanted to keep her exam private.

And Emma knew that he wasn't folding it to hide that she aced it.

Mr. Spencer placed the folded math test in front of her and continued on to the next student as Emma leaned forward, every part of her body dreading turning the paper over to find out exactly how badly she actually did.

Everything faded away as Emma turned over the pink packet and looked up in the top corner to find a big D circled in red ink with a little note written underneath. _"See me after class!"_ was underlined three times in Mr. Spencer's scratchy handwriting. Emma immediately stuffed the test into her backpack and rested her head on her arms, leaning forward on her desk.

Emma felt a finger poke her back. "Emma…" the voice hissed, but Emma pretended not to notice. "EMMA!" she said a little louder, poking her back a little harder the second time.

Emma turned in her desk quickly, her hair whipping around as she turned to her best friend. "What?" Emma's voice was harsher than it should be, but she really was not in the mood.

"How'd you do?" Ruby asked, not backing down. Emma shook her head and glared at her friend, as if it were her fault, before turning back towards her own desk just as the bell rang signaling the end of the school day.

Everyone shuffled out of the room as Emma pretended to take more time packing up her things. Slowly, she walked up to the old man after everyone else left the room, taking more time than it usually would to get up there. "Mr. Spencer? You said you wanted to see me?" Emma asked quietly as the teacher looked up.

"Oh, yes!" Mr. Spencer presented a shocked tone, and Emma internally cringed at how he was acting like he forgot he wrote that note on her test. "Yes, Emma, we need to talk about your options in this math class."

"I promise I'll do better next time! I know I can!" Emma interrupted before Mr. Spencer could say any more.

Mr. Spencer was clearly not hearing any of it as he held up a hand to stop her. "Emma, I've given you many chances and I have no other option. If I don't move you to the other math class, you won't graduate with the rest of your class."

"But, Mr. Spencer—"

"This isn't a punishment. It's to help you succeed. Believe it or not, teachers try to help their students, not put them to shame."

"There _has_ to be something I can do!" she whispered, almost to herself than to her teacher as she blinked away the tears that were forming in her eyes.

Mr. Spencer shook his head. "I'll make you a deal, Emma. You're going to have to take this alternate math class without negotiation, but if you can get three A's in a row, in addition to passing the final exam, you can come back to this math class next trimester."

"That… Shouldn't be too hard. Three A's and the final?" Emma thought about the deal and made a personal vow that she would be back to this class within three tests.

"_In. A. Row_. No A-'s, no B's in between. Three A's and passing the final, and you'll be back here with the majority of your classmates." Mr. Spencer held out his hand as if he was making some sort of business transaction. Emma looked between him and his hand before finally taking and shaking it. "I'll also be calling your parents tonight to let them know of the change in your schedule."

Emma took her hand out of his as her head turned down. "Thank you," she said as she turned towards the door.

"And Emma?" Mr. Spencer called as she was about to leave the classroom. "I think it might be a good idea if we set up a tutor for you. I need to work out the details a little bit, but come here tomorrow and I'll have one set up for you."

The sides of Emma's lips turned up in a fake smile as she left the room as if she was thankful for his generosity, but ended up bumping into Ruby as soon as she turned the corner.

Ruby pouted as she took in Emma's sad look, reaching over and embracing Emma in the most awkward hug that had ever been given. "I take it you didn't get the B-?" She was quiet and nurturing – the tone Ruby only saved for Emma in moments that she felt bad for her.

"Not by a long shot." Emma huffed as she slid to her locker, banging her head on the blue door until she was sure there was a dent in the metal. "I have to go to Mr. Jefferson's class now."

"Noooo!" Ruby said, much more dramatically than it needed to be. "That's going to be so embarrassing!"

Emma nodded her head in agreement. "Mr. Spencer said I'm not going to graduate in May if I don't go to remedial math." She twisted the lock three numbers until she could open the locker. "He said if I can get three A's and pass the final, I can come back next trimester."

"That shouldn't be too hard, especially if it's Mr. Jefferson's class." Ruby replied as Emma stuffed her bag with the rest of her class materials. "That class is supposed to be really easy and for the dum—" Ruby stopped when Emma shot her a look. "I'm sure you'll be back to our class in no time."

"He also said I need a tutor."

Ruby put her finger to her chin in mock thinking. "How do you even get a tutor?" Ruby asked.

"Hell if I know." Emma slammed the locker shut. "He said stop by his room tomorrow to figure out the details. Come on, I just want to get out of here and forget this entire day."

* * *

"Yesss!" Killian yelled as he pulled out a big white envelope from his mailbox with crimson letters spelling _"Congratulations!"_ on the front. "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!" He shoved the rest of the mail back into the small box and ran across the street back to his house, almost tripping twice because he was reading his acceptance letter. "Liam? Dad!" Killian called throughout the house until he stumbled upon his father, typing ferociously on his laptop.

"Dad! Guess what?" Killian asked, hiding the envelope behind his back.

His father looked up from his work, clearly annoyed with the interruption. "What, Killian?" he asked. Yep, his tone was definitely annoyed, Killian thought, but in that moment he really didn't care what had his father in such a bad mood.

Killian whipped the envelope from its hiding spot and showed him. "I got in to Harvard!" he nearly shouted. "_I'm_ going to _Harvard_!" Killian beamed with pride and said the sentence over and over again in his head. He had worked hard for four years for this – to go to the most prestigious University in Massachusetts, if not the United States.

"Congratulations, boy," his father said, not meeting Killian's enthusiasm by a long shot.

Killian's face dropped immediately. "What?" he asked, looking down at the letter that had only moments ago made him jump with glee.

Killian's father took off his glasses and set them on the table as he began rubbing his temples. When he looked up at Killian's pleading eyes, he finally began speaking. "Killian… I can't afford to send you there."

"But—"

"Even with scholarships and your savings account… It won't cover even a third of it, and I cannot simply spend all my saved-up money just to send you there."

"But—"

"No buts, Killian. Money doesn't grow on trees, and you'll have to just go to one of the backup colleges you applied to. I thought you liked the University of Maine."

"I didn't want to actually _go there_, Dad. It was exactly what you said: a backup college," Killian said weakly, more to himself than his father. "It was my dream college… I worked so hard…"

His father stood up and walked over to his son, patting Killian's shoulder as he passed to find the bottle of rum he kept locked up in his office. "I'm sorry, boy." Killian watched as his father poured a very generous amount of the amber liquid into a cup and drank the entire thing. "I just have to put my foot down on this one."

Killian dropped his head as he turned out of the study, walking briskly to his room and taking the stairs two at a time. He plopped down on his bed and threw the Harvard packet that he didn't even get to read across the room, anger flooding through his veins as he thought of the goal he reached, but had to decline.

Minutes, hours… Killian didn't know, but suddenly he heard the creak of his door opening. Killian quickly sat up as his brother stepped through the door. "What has you so troubled, little brother?" Liam pushed Killian's backpack off his desk chair and turned it to sit by Killian's bed.

"Hey! I have expensive stuff in there!" Killian yelled as he reached down and made sure all his electronics were still intact. "You better not have broken my calculator!"

Liam just rolled his eyes. "Why have you been in here brooding instead of eating dinner with us?"

"I got into Harvard…" Killian mumbled, and Liam's face lit up at the news.

"Congratulations, Killian! And here I only thought only one of the Jones boys was smart!" he joked, but his laughing manner stopped immediately as Killian didn't even try to joke back.

"Dad said I can't go."

"Why?" Liam asked, his body completely changing at Killian's words.

Killian shifted to his back. "Dad said we don't have the money to send me there, even with scholarships and my savings account."

"And…" Liam paused, waiting for Killian to continue.

"And so I'd be in thousands of dollars of debt just after buying my books!"

"And…"

"And what?"

"Well, there's gotta be a real reason you can't go." Liam said as if it was a fact. "Because money? That is weaker than your left hook!" Killian ignored the bad attempt at a wrestling joke. Liam had won the state title for wrestling twice before he joined the Navy, while Killian had absolutely no interest in the sport at all. He was a swimmer, and when his father originally tried to have him follow in his and his brother's footsteps, he had gone to his mother for help.

But that was a long time ago. He didn't have her to fight his battles anymore.

"Money is a big reason when it comes to college." Killian pointed out. "It's the reason a lot of people do or do not choose to go somewhere."

"Then get a job! There has to be _something_ you are good enough at to make minimum wage as an after-school job." Liam replied. "Take out loans, get lots of scholarships, find a job, and work your damn butt off so that you can go be the greatest student Harvard has ever seen."

"You really think this might be a possibility for me?" Killian asked, suddenly unsure if this was some sort of ill-mannered joke.

Liam stood up. "If there is one man in this world that I know who could do this, it would be you, brother." With that, he walked towards the door before turning around. "I'll tell you what: whatever you can make this year and over the summer, I'll match."

"What?" Killian asked in shock.

But Liam just ended up shrugging. "What are big brothers for, if they can't help their little brother out when they get accepted to their _dream college_?" Without even waiting for a response or the protest from Killian, he left the room.


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N:** For those of you not familiar with the American high school system, "AP" stands for "Advanced Placement". Those and "honors" classes are alternate classes you can take in lieu of the regular ones if you need harder material._

_Again, my betas Emma and Kat are spectacular!_

* * *

"Emma! Could you come here?" A soft voice called through the door. Emma hung her head as she followed the sound into the living room, where her foster parents had clearly been discussing things in hushed tones.

"Oh, hi," Emma didn't meet either of their eyes. She had somehow found the perfect foster parents – ones that had kept her for the past four years, her whole high school career – and she felt worse about letting them down than she did about most other things. "Did Mr. Spencer call?" she asked, finding her way to the lone chair opposite the loveseat Robin and Marian were sitting at.

**"**He did," Robin nodded, and Emma noticed her foster father grab his wife's hand. "We heard about the math test."

"I tried really hard, I promise!" Emma cut in before Robin could say anything else. "I studied more for that test than I have for all my other classes combined. I didn't just blow it off…"

Marian smiled sweetly, even if her warm, comforting face was the last thing Emma deserved. "Math is difficult, and we should have realized that it wasn't a strong subject for you before you insisted on going into Mr. Spencer's class. We think he's right. Mr. Jefferson's class might be more suited to your strengths."

Emma's heartbeat slowed. "You're not… mad?"

"Well, I can't say we're pleased about that D or that you're switching math classes in the middle of the trimester," Robin started, "And, for that, you are grounded for a week, but I wouldn't say we're _mad_…"

"Including this weekend?" Emma whined as she thought of David's birthday party and her anniversary dinner with Walsh, and that was just next weekend.

"I'm sorry, Emma. But school is much more important for your future than going out with friends. You're only going to be allowed to go to school, work, and the tutor Mr. Spencer is setting up for you." Emma slouched in the chair, but nodded in understanding.

"Go on up to your room and try to get some homework done. I'll call you down when it's time for dinner," Marian ordered, and Emma stood up to hug each of her foster parents before climbing the stairs to her room.

* * *

"Mr. Spencer?" Killian knocked on the math classroom door and waited until the teacher nodded and welcomed him in with his hand before entering the room. "Could I talk to you for a moment?"

Mr. Spencer looked up from the papers he was shuffling through at to find a timid looking Killian standing in front of him. "Welcome, Killian. Is there something I can do to help you this morning?" He looked down at his watch just to make sure Killian really was standing in his classroom well before school started.

"Um, yes. Do you remember a few months ago when I asked you to write me that recommendation for Harvard?" Killian asked and waited until Mr. Spencer nodded before continuing. "Well, I just got my acceptance letter last night."

"Congratulations, Killian. If I thought any of my students could get into that University, it would be you." Mr. Spencer gave him a big grin. "I'm proud of you."

"Thank you," Killian replied, not missing Mr. Spencer's compliment and wishing his own father could have had the same sentiment. "Well, you see, I realize I'm going to have to start saving up, and I was hoping your offer to be a school tutor still stands?" Killian shifted from one foot to the other, suddenly very self-conscious of his question.

"You do know that the open positions filled in October when I originally asked you," Mr. Spencer lectured, and Killian's heart sank. He looked down at his shoes, and just before he was about to thank him for his time and leave, Mr. Spencer started talking again. "But, you're in luck. I have a student that needs a tutor, and I think you'll be perfect for the task."

A smile on Killian's face spread instantly. "Really?" He could hardly contain his excitement.

Mr. Spencer chuckled – something that the students at Storybrooke High only rumored about. "Yes, but it's not going to be easy. This student is having a lot of trouble in math." Killian nodded in understanding. "I'll set up your first meeting after school today. Come back to my room at 2:45 and we can get you both acquainted."

"Thank you!" Killian nearly shouted as the bell signaling for the school day to start in five minutes rang. "I have to go, but thank you!"

Killian ran out of Mr. Spencer's room just as he heard the words "No running!" shouted from the classroom, but he didn't care about the teacher's warnings. All he cared about was that this was his first step towards going to Harvard.

* * *

"_You're_ going to be a tutor?" Kathryn asked at lunch. "I thought you were annoyed when Mr. Spencer asked you in October!"

Killian shrugged. "I guess a spot opened up and I need to start saving if I want to go to Harvard. He said the student is going to need a lot of help."

"But you've always _hated_ tutoring. You said it's a waste of time because the student rarely does better and is only there because their parents make them." Victor said as he put a big bite of his peanut butter sandwich in his mouth.

"Yeah, well this time I'm going to get paid for it."

"Why don't you just teach swim lessons?" Phillip suggested while his hand was draped over his girlfriend, Aurora's, chair. "Wouldn't you enjoy that more?"

"I've already talked to the Storybrooke Community Pool and I'm going to teach swimming at night to preschool and elementary kids, and I'm going to lifeguard on the weekends."

"Wow," Victor said through his big bite, causing Killian to cringe at the sandwich in his mouth. "You're going to be really crabby."

"What does that even mean?" Killian was slightly offended by his friend's statement. "And don't answer until you swallow."

Victor made a dramatic show of chewing the food and swallowing before telling him. "You're going to be tutoring, teaching kids to swim, _and_ being a lifeguard in addition to going to school and swimming and all those other extracurriculars you do to build your resume?"

Killian hadn't really thought of that when he suddenly took all the jobs, but his determination and cockiness took over any hesitation he had. He smiled his half smile. "Who needs sleep, anyway?"

* * *

"Grounded?" Ruby almost yelled.

"Shhh!" Emma hissed, telling her best friend to be quiet. "I don't want people to know!"

"But you're going to miss David's party!"

"Don't you think I _know_ that? And it's my second anniversary with Walsh! God, this could not have come at a worse time." Emma said as she and Ruby walked into their sixth period study hall. Like always, David, Mary Margaret, Walsh, and August reserved the back table, waving them over. "And tonight I'm meeting my new tutor."

Ruby looked interested. "Do you know who it is?"

"No clue."

Emma sat down next to Walsh, letting him kiss her cheek while Ruby sat down next to her. "Emma's grounded!" Ruby let out before Emma got a chance to say anything.

Emma threw her an angry look, but it was an empty one since she could never be truly mad at her. "I'm sorry, David. I have to miss your birthday party."

David popped his eyebrow. "You never get grounded. What did you do?"

"I didn't get the B- on my last math test. Marian and Robin grounded me for a week." Emma let out a big breath. "_And_ I have to go to Mr. Jefferson's math class starting next period."

"Wow… That's rough," August said as he opened up his history textbook, seemingly bored with the conversation. "I would be mortified if that was me."

"Hey now!" Mary Margaret lectured August from across the table. She turned towards Emma. "Well, I think it might be good for you. You're always so stressed out about getting a good grade in Mr. Spencer's math class. Maybe an easy class like Mr. Jefferson's is just what you need."

Emma shrugged at her friend's encouragement. "Or, it could be the death of my reputation."

As if on cue, the bell for sixth period rang, and the entire room quieted as Ms. Superior sat down at the desk. Everyone got out their respective study materials and began working at their own pace.

"_What does that mean about Friday night?"_ Walsh dared to whisper. Ms. Superior was known to be uptight about talking during study hall. She only allowed quiet whispering during the last five minutes of class.

"_What do you think it means?"_ Emma asked back, hoping that since her spot was so far away from her teacher, she wouldn't notice. "_We're just going to have to celebrate in a few weeks instead."_

_"But that's not our anniversary!" _Walsh pouted, and Emma couldn't help but think of how sweet it was that her boyfriend wanted to celebrate such a momentous event on the actual day.

_"Well, there's nothing I can really do, bud. We'll hang out during school instead."_

"Emma! Walsh! Get to work!" Ms. Superior called from her desk. Walsh sighed as he took out his AP Algebra homework. Emma watched as he started working on his math problem, wishing nothing more than to have his brain at that moment.

Emma pulled out her English homework and started writing the outline for the paper she had to write on Romeo and Juliet due next week.


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks, Betas Kat and Emma!

* * *

Emma made her way to Mr. Spencer's classroom after her first day in Mr. Jefferson's remedial math class. She would never admit it to her friends, but she actually liked the smaller classroom and slower pace. The humiliation she had from the previous day had dwindled slightly.

Regardless, she was getting the hell out of that class as soon as possible.

Emma slumped into the front desk and greeted her former math teacher. "Please excuse me, Emma. I need to make a copy of this. I'll be back in a moment to introduce you to your tutor," Mr. Spencer said as he walked out of the classroom in a hurry.

Emma pulled out her planner and started doodling in the corners. She turned to the current week and her stomach sank. On Friday, she had "_One Year Anniversary with Walsh!"_ written with lots of hearts drawn around it, and on Saturday she had drawings of presents and hats in honor of David's party. She hated letting her friends down, and it was her senior year. She wanted to hang out with them as much as possible because who knows where they'd all be next year.

She was so entranced by the picture she was drawing that she didn't even notice that another person had entered the room. A voice cleared, causing Emma to brush her hand through her hair as she looked up at the boy in front of her.

He was a taller boy with dark brown hair and the deepest blue eyes she'd ever seen. He was fit – clearly built like some sort of athlete – and he stood with a masculine quality that she'd rarely seen in someone so young. His backpack was pulled so tight from thick books stacked inside that Emma was surprised he was able to stand up at all. He had a surprised look on his face, and Emma mentally slapped herself because she had expected some pimply nerd to show up, and he was the exact opposite. She had never seen this boy before, and had to admit, he was much cuter than she expected.

"Are you my tutor?" Emma wished her question hadn't come out so curious, but she couldn't help the tone.

The boy cleared his throat again. "Uh, yeah. I'm Killian," he said, reaching his hand out. She shook it and noticed how his hand was warm, despite the cool temperature in the school. He had an accent that Emma couldn't quite place, but didn't want to bring attention to it.

"Emma," she replied, instead of trying to figure out where he was from. "What year are you?"

"I'm a senior. You?" he asked.

"A senior, too," Emma cocked her head as she looked at him. "How have I never seen you before?" Emma thought she prided herself in knowing everyone in her grade, and she was surprised to find out she missed this one.

Killian shrugged. "I guess we just run in different circles," he said, sliding into the desk next to her.

The pair sat in silence for the next minute, neither one knowing what to say to the other. Emma went back to doodling in her notebook, but noticed Killian peeking looks at her every few seconds. She wasn't one who often became shy or insecure, but under his gaze, she wasn't quite sure how to act.

"So…" Killian finally broke the silence. "Do you know where Mr. Spencer is?"

"He said he needed to make some copies," Emma looked up at the clock. "I'm actually surprised he's not back yet. It sounded like it was going to be a quick run."

Emma and Killian went back to that awkward, silent limbo. She was doing everything she could to keep her hands busy and make sure she wouldn't stare at the boy sitting next to her. Killian seemed to have a similar problem because he brought out a math textbook much bigger than she had ever seen, a calculator, and what appeared to be a very used notebook.

Emma couldn't help but look over at what he was so vigorously writing. "Wow…" The word slipped out before she could stop herself.

Killian shifted his head towards her. "What?" his eyebrows shot up and seemed confused as to why she would utter the word.

"I, uh… I guess I just haven't seen material that difficult before," Emma leaned over to see letters and numbers and dotted lines filling up the page. "What class is that for?"

Killian's cheeks began to turn red at her comment. "Actually, it's a class I take at Mist Haven Community College. I tested out of the math classes here and Mr. Spencer suggested I take college level classes so I could apply myself. I go there three mornings a week instead of third and fourth period." Killian sat up in the desk and turned to fully look at Emma, forcing Emma to sit up straight herself and stare back at them. Emma focused her eyes on the boy she had never met before, trying to read him.

They were just staring at each other with no words for who knows how long when Mr. Spencer took them out of their trance. "Ah, Emma. I see you've met Killian," he said cheerfully. He walked over to behind his desk and took out a file, causing Emma to blink, shake her head, and break whatever moment they were having.

Mr. Spencer began talking about the tutoring program at SHS, but Emma didn't hear a single word. She kept nodding her head at his words, but looked at Killian through her peripheral vision instead.

She was snapped out of her thoughts when Mr. Spencer asked, "Any questions?" Killian had responded with a simple "No," making Emma do the same, despite not knowing a single thing the teacher said.

"Good. I'll see you tomorrow, Killian. And Emma? I hope your first day in Mr. Jefferson's class went well."

Emma quickly slid her planner and pencil into her bag, making sure to look anywhere but Killian. The embarrassment of being in Mr. Jefferson's class had lessened slightly after her first day, but the emotions sprung back as soon as her teacher said the name. She couldn't understand why shame suddenly filled her body, harder than before, but she knew she had to get out of there.

With a nod to each man in the room, Emma sped out of there without looking back. She booked it to her locker, hoping that Ruby had waited for her in the car like she claimed she would that morning.

Just as she was putting away her History textbook and taking out her English one, she heard a faint voice call out, "Emma!" She looked over to find Killian jogging up after her. Once he got there, he placed his left hand on the lockers, the right on his hip, and leaned close to her. "Emma, you left without us figuring out a tutor schedule."

"Oh, yeah, I guess I forgot," she zipped her backpack and pulled on a hoodie.

"How could you forget? Mr. Spencer just told us three minutes ago!" Killian smirked, almost as if he was teasing her.

Emma tried to ignore him, but failed as she blushed with embarrassment. "When are you free?"

"I teach swimming every night at 5:00, and have swim practice at 3:00 on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays. Do Wednesdays and Fridays work for you?" he asked.

"Yeah," Emma replied quickly, not really thinking about what he asked. She was too confused why she was acting so differently all of a sudden to notice what he was saying.

"Awesome. Why don't we get this ball rolling? Are you free this Friday after school?" Killian began scratching the skin behind his right ear, clearly flustered with the situation.

Emma was going to object since it was her anniversary with Walsh, and her boyfriend had insisted he drive her home "the long way" after school, but instead, the words, "Does 2:45 in Mr. Spencer's classroom work?" came out.

Killian nodded, then looked at his watch. "Shoot! I'm going to be late for swim practice if I don't leave now. I guess I'll see you Friday then, Emma." Killian yelled as he ran through the hall, turning into the boy's locker room.

Emma stared at the bare hallway before closing her own locker and walking out to see if Ruby had waited for her.

* * *

"I've never even heard of a Killian," Ruby said, as she took a left turn down Main Street. "What's his last name?"

Emma swallowed. "I didn't even think to ask. I actually didn't even hear much of what Mr. Spencer said at all. Maybe he talked about it then or something."

Ruby gave her a confused, sideways glance before coming to a stoplight. "I wonder how we've never heard of him before."

"Killian told me he takes classes at Mist Haven Community College instead of at school with us. Did you even know high schoolers could take college classes?" Emma tried to swallow the sudden awe in her voice from Ruby.

She must have missed it because she continued without a beat. "I didn't. I thought there was just honors and AP classes like the ones Walsh and Mary Margaret take. He must be, like, really smart."

"I didn't talk to him much, but he seems that way. Apparently he's a swimmer, and he has an accent," Emma slipped in, causing Ruby to grin wolfishly.

"Really? Where from? Please, please, pleeeeeease say Italian! That is the sexiest accent someone could have!"

"Ruby, the light's green." Emma pointed to the stoplight, making Ruby roll her eyes as she pressed the gas. "And I don't know where he's from. Maybe he's Scottish?"

"Well, that's a shame," Ruby said as they pulled into Emma's driveway. "You'll have to ask him next time you see him."

"We're meeting on Friday after school." Emma unbuckled and started fishing around in the back seat for her backpack.

"Friday? That's your anniversary with Walsh."

Emma shrugged at her comment. "It's not like I can hang out with him, anyway. Might as well start this tutoring thing."

Ruby watching Emma closely at her movements as she unlocked the car door. "Do you want to ride with me tomorrow?" she asked, rolling down the window.

"Sure," Emma said as she left the car. "See you tomorrow."

Ruby waved from her maroon car as she backed out of the driveway and began rolling down the street towards her house a block over. Emma gave quick wave as she walked through the front door of the house, running up to her bedroom and sitting at her desk.

There were a lot of weird emotions going on in the pit of her stomach. She lifted her phone to check the time. It was only 3:20. Marian would be driving home with her foster brother from preschool, and Robin would still be at the outdoor-supplies-store he owned for _at least_ another two hours. He had been working a lot harder lately, and Emma really never knew when he'd be home anymore.

Chancing her luck, Emma unlocked the screen of her phone and went through her contacts until she found the one name she was looking for.

"_Hello?"_ the person answered on the other side.

"Hey babe, it's me," Emma said, relaxing at the sound of her boyfriend's voice.

* * *

Killian was putting on his shirt after a particularly tough swim practice. Killian didn't do very well. He was the team captain, and there were very few times in the past two years that someone else swam faster than him. He was just glad it was a practice and not a meet. Deep in his stomach, he knew why he did so poorly: he was thinking of Emma the entire time.

Killian's mind drifted to the way she had been sitting in Mr. Spencer's room when he got there and how her hair fell over her shoulder. It was unnatural how pretty she looked sitting at a desk. Just as he began thinking of her voice, Phillip came up behind him. "Who was it?" he asked.

Killian jumped slightly, not expecting someone so close to him in the locker room. "Wow, back up, Phil," he ordered. "Who was what?"

Phillip rolled his eyes. "You know who. Who is the person you're going to be tutoring?" he asked.

"Oh. Her name's Emma," Killian replied. He grabbed his backpack and swim gear. "Can I hitch a ride today? My dad is probably still at the office and Liam needed the other car for some Navy thing he had to do." Killian normally would have been more irritated that his brother had the car, but since he offered to help pay for college, he couldn't bring himself to be mad.

"Sure, if you don't mind taking the backseat. Aurora gets shotgun."

Killian groaned. Phillips back seat was really tight, and Killian always made sure he got the front one instead. "What's that saying? _Bros before h—_"

"Stop there, mister. If you call my girlfriend that, you're going to be walking your sorry ass home," Phillip grabbed his own swimming bag and the two of them walked out of the locker room, laughing at Phillip's empty threat.

As if on cue, Aurora was waiting on the floor on the opposite wall of the locker room with a textbook and paper on her lap. She smiled as she heard the two boys talking about swim practice. "Hey guys," she said.

The three of them walked out into the parking lot and, after squeezing into the backseat, they began the journey home. "So, you were telling me that you're tutoring Emma?" Phillip asked.

Killian's stomach flipped when Phillip said the name. "Yeah…"

"Are you tutoring Emma Swan?" Aurora asked suddenly, turning around and making Killian jump in the seat. "Long blonde hair, green eyes? Our grade?"

"Real descriptive…" Phillip teased, causing Aurora to stick her tongue out at him.

"I'm serious. Is that the girl you're going to be tutoring?"

"Must be. I don't know of any other Emma's at the school. Why, do you know her?" Killian asked, hopeful to find out more about the girl from earlier today.

"Yeah. She's my neighbor. She lives with Mr. and Mrs. Hood next door."

"But I thought you said her last name was Swan?" Phillip cut in.

Aurora nodded in agreement, although her eyes told Killian she was slightly annoyed at his interruptions. "It is. They're her foster parents. They have two foster kids: Emma and this kid named Roland. He's super cute."

Killian leaned forward, egging Aurora to talk more. "Foster parents?

But Aurora seemed to have dropped the subject as she and Phillip started talking about the group project they had to do with Leroy and complaining that he wasn't pulling his weight.

Killian nearly leaped out of the car when Phillip pulled up to the white house. "Bye, guys!" he said as he punched in the garage code and found his way up to his room.

He dropped his bags on the floor and immediately went to his bookshelf, taking out his junior year yearbook and opening it up to his class page. He scrolled through the names and hundreds and hundreds of classmates until he found the name he was looking for.

"Emma Swan," he muttered to himself as he dragged his hand across the page to look at her picture.


	4. Chapter 4

My betas are absolutely spectacular! Thanks Kat and Emma!

* * *

Killian put on his swimming captain's sweatshirt and looked in the mirror, turning left and right and cocking his head. He shook it in disappointment and shucked off the garment, going to his closet and pulling out a blue and white pinstriped polo. He walked back over to the mirror and studied the new top, running his hand through his hair and giving it an _"I don't care how I look"_ look.

He reached over and picked up a pair of jeans that were on the floor and held them up to his body. He then tossed them on the bed when he picked up a pair of khakis, and then a dress pair, finally setting upon a pair of very dark washed jeans.

He went back to the mirror and checked out his entire outfit, wanting to make sure he looked perfect – _more_ than perfect. He smiled crookedly. "Hey Emma, ready to start?" he practiced to himself, three or four variations before going back to staring at how he looked.

Why was he so nervous? He tutored plenty of people in the past. In fact, he should be dreading this session. He's always _hated_ tutoring, and it was a Friday afternoon. He usually went to Victor's house with the gang to hang out and, in actuality, this was interrupting his social life. There was really nothing he should be nervous about. There was really nothing he should be _excited_ about.

Yet, here he was, trying to decide which shirt made his eyes pop and the best way to greet her.

He was gazing in the mirror and giving himself a silent pep talk when Liam strolled in and sat down on the bed. "What's the occasion? He teased, making Killian throw him a death glare.

"I just felt like looking nice today, so sue me." His voice came out a little sharper than he had intended, but the nerves of setting a good first impression – or, second – was taking over his rational side.

Liam actually laughed. "Sure, okay," he said, sarcastically.

Killian looked at his brother, debating whether to tell him and ask for advice before walking over past him and grabbing his backpack. "I'm going to be late for school," he muttered as he left the room. "And I won't be home until after 4:00. Bye."

Killian ran through the house, only briefly saying goodbye to his father and skipping breakfast altogether.

* * *

It was already Friday morning and Emma felt like the rest of the school week went by in a blur. Emma hadn't seen or talked to Killian since that first day after school, and she was starting to get adjusted to her new algebra class. Mr. Jefferson was turning out to be really funny, even if he got oddly serious every ten minutes or so.

She even liked some of her classmates. Mr. Jefferson let them talk more than Mr. Spencer, and since the class was more laid back that Mr. Spencer's, Emma was quickly getting to know other people she didn't usually hang around.

Overall, the transition hadn't been as bad as she thought it would be, and any gossip about Emma at Storybrooke High died out almost instantly after the next big scandal hit.

Emma walked into school on Friday with Ruby to find her locker had a rose taped to the front. "Awwww!" Ruby sighed as Emma went over and carefully took it off. She smelled the romantic flower while she twisted her combination, only to find there was a stuffed teddy bear with a heart pillow saying "I Love You" on it. Emma couldn't help the smile that snuck up on her face as she traded the flower for her Spanish workbook.

"Hey, Emma," a voice whispered in her ear and Emma whipped her head to the side to find Walsh standing right next to her. "Happy anniversary."

"Happy anniversary to you, too," Emma replied, shutting her locker and grabbing Walsh's hand. The two beamed at each other as they walked in silence to Mr. Marco's European History classroom. They took their seats at the back of the classroom, waiting for the bell to ring.

"I'm sorry again that I can't hang out tonight," Emma apologized. "I know you said you had something special planned. Hopefully it can wait a week?"

Walsh shrugged. "What can you do? Besides, I thought of something we can do for the trip home this afternoon."

Emma whipped her head to the side. "Oh, God…" she said, guilt overcoming her heart and pink tingeing her cheeks. "Did I not tell you?" Walsh's confused face told her what she needed to know. "I have to go to my first tutoring session."

Walsh's features officially dropped at her confession. "On our anniversary? Why couldn't you have done it yesterday?"

"My tutor's busy on Thursdays, and I really need to get this going if I want to get back to Mr. Spencer's class next trimester." Emma reached over and grabbed his hand. "I'll be thinking of you the entire time." She used a singsong voice and fluttered her eyes at him, causing her boyfriend to smile.

"Fine," he groaned. "You'll just have to make it up to me. The whole day just you and me – no interruptions."

Emma grinned before nodding her head in agreement. "It's a date."

"Don't get grounded this time," Walsh joked as Mr. Marco walked in and the school day officially began.

* * *

Killian practically ran out of his AP physics class to run to Mr. Spencer's room as soon as the last bell rang. He weaved through students trying to leave the building for the weekend and got particularly frustrated with a group of ninth graders who huddled right in front of the hallway door Killian needed to pass to get to the math room.

Soon enough, he found his way there. Mr. Spencer was just cleaning up his desk as Killian entered the room, slightly winded from the jog across the school. "Hi, Mr. Spencer," he said cheerfully.

"Hello, Killian. What can I help you with today?" Mr. Spencer said as he buckled his briefcase.

"Oh, nothing. Emma and I are just meeting here for our first tutoring session. Will you be staying?" It was childish, but he crossed his fingers behind his back, hoping that his favorite teacher wouldn't be crashing their first session.

"No. I'm actually on my way out. Good luck. If anyone can turn this girl's future around, I know it's you." With a simple wave of his hand, he left the classroom.

Killian looked at all the individual desks. He pushed two in the middle of the front row together to make a longer table, almost to form somewhat of a desk-loveseat, but decided against it and put them opposite each other so the fronts touched, instead.

Killian slid into the one farthest away from the door and opened up his backpack, taking out his calculator, a pen, and a notebook. Mr. Jefferson had given him a worksheet with the material Emma's class was currently working on, and Killian started reviewing the equations and theorems they'd be using that afternoon.

He kept looking at the clock every thirty seconds, and just when he was starting to get worried Emma forgot about their first tutoring session, she knocked on the door. "Hey Killian," she said and walked over to the desk Killian had gestured to with his hand. "Sorry I'm late. It's our anniversary, and my boyfriend wanted to say goodbye before he left for the weekend."

Killian's throat tightened and a crushing pain throbbed in his chest. "Boyfriend?" he asked, his pitch about three times higher then it usually was.

"Yeah. We've been together for one year today, and he's really disappointed we're not hanging out tonight." She slid into the open desk. "You actually might know him. Walsh? He's in a lot of AP classes here."

Killian's heart beat too hard as he thought of the boy who sat at the back of his honors French class. "Yeah. I've had a couple classes with him here and there, but I don't really know him" he muttered. He never liked Walsh. They did a group project back in tenth grade for their honors speech and language class. He was pompous, and honestly a bit of an ass. They had gotten a B on the project because of his ignorance, and it took all sorts of persuasion to get Ms. French to give him extra credit to fix it. It was the only time in his four years that he almost lost his 4.0, and he would never forgive the moron for the stress it caused him.

And, he was an ass.

Killian ignored the entire speech he had planned as an introduction and settled for, "I guess let's just jump right into this," instead.

He told Emma to open her math textbook to Mr. Jefferson's lesson and they began working on graphing equations of a line. After about fifteen minutes, Killian passed her some graph paper and a pencil and told her to do one by herself.

Killian watched Emma stick out her tongue to the corner of her mouth in concentration. Her forehead bunched, her eyebrows deepened, and her nose was so close to the paper, he was surprised it didn't smudge the lead.

As Killian watched her habits and thought about how cute it was that she whispered the letters and numbers out loud to herself, he cursed his luck that he didn't meet this girl sooner. How could he have missed her in the four years they'd been here? Killian was completely head-over-heels within the first few moments of seeing her, and he was positive that if he had seen her, he would have noticed.

She slowly looked up at him from behind soft eyelashes with her green eyes.

Yes. If he had seen her, he definitely would have noticed.

"Is this right?" Emma asked hesitantly. Killian grabbed the paper from her shaking hands and held it in front of him, looking at where she plotted the points and connected the lines.

His face frowned on its own as he saw the incorrect placements of some of the plots. He looked back up at Emma to find her biting her bottom lip, anxiously waiting for if she had done it correctly.

After only seeing it once, he decided that was his favorite mannerism.

"Well, I think you just mixed up the X and Y coordinates," Killian said as he stood up and walked around the desks until he stood behind Emma. He placed the paper down in front of her and quickly drew up a new axis. Leaning above her, he took her pencil and drew the correct spots, explaining once again where each plot was supposed to go.

Killian suddenly felt Emma stiffen underneath his body, and he immediately pulled back and walked around the desk to his own side. He began scratching the space behind his ear and could actually feel his cheeks redden. "Uh, why don't you try another? You can look at the notes we've been working on today if that would help – we're just practicing, so don't feel like you have to do this from memory." Killian took out a new piece of graph paper, wrote another equation at the top, and passed it over to the girl sitting across from him.

Emma studied Killian for a brief moment before she looked down and began the new equation. Killian began tapping his eraser on the table nervously. He kept eying the clock above Mr. Spencer's door and doing everything in his power not to look at Emma working out the new problem.

It was nearly seven minutes before Emma looked up and gave him the paper. "I don't know if I did this right, either…" Killian could tell she was anxious, and every part of him prayed that he would be able to tell her she graphed this equation correctly.

He looked down at the pencil marks and the line connecting two dots on the graph. Killian was upset to see how many eraser marks she had, but in the end, she had actually answered the question correctly. His face morphed into a huge grin when he looked up at Emma. "You did it. It's right." His voice was calm, even if he wanted to jump up and down for her. Instead, he settled for a thumb's up and crooked grin.

"I… What?" Emma said, her bottom lip dropping. "I was right?" She smiled bigger than Killian thought would be possible for a human. He silently vowed to make sure he would put that smile on her face as often as possible.

"You put _both points_ in the correct spots. See?" He passed the paper back to her, pointing to her accomplishment and beaming at her. "You did it," he repeated, as if she needed the reminder that it really was right.

Emma just stared at the paper. "If only I could use my notes and spend 10 minutes on every question to pass these tests. Maybe then I'd actually be in Mr. Spencer's class."

"Don't worry, Emma. You'll be back then soon enough." Killian looked up at the clock a final time and turned back towards Emma. "It looks like our hour's up. I guess I'll see you next Wednesday?" Killian asked, hopeful that she would want to have another tutor session.

When she nodded in agreement, they both silently packed up their bags. Killian finished first and debated waiting for her and walking towards the door. "Wait!" Emma called just as he stood up. "What's your last name?"

Killian looked confused as he answered, "Jones. Why?"

Emma stood up and walked up to him. "You never told me the other day."

"Alright," Killian said, lamely, and wanted to punch himself in the face at his inability to answer her in some witty way.

"My last name is Swan, by the way." Killian thought he was actually going to hurt himself this time because he didn't even think to ask her the same question in return. He already knew that was her last name from his car ride with Aurora, but Emma didn't know that. They walked out of the room together until they were at the front doors.

"Do you have a ride home?" Killian asked, scratching behind his ear again. He knew tomorrow the skin would be raw, and that was going to make it _so much worse_ for when he had to lifeguard in a pool with chlorine.

"Yeah. My mom will be here in the next 10 minutes to pick me up. You?" Killian noted that she didn't include the word "foster" in front of mom, and so he had to make sure he didn't bring that up in the future.

"I have the car today," Killian replied. "I guess I'll see you next week then, Swan."

"So it's Swan now?" she joked, though her tone was slightly nervous.

Killian grinned back, but didn't respond, as he saluted her and left the building, walking briskly back to his car to get out of the cool fall weather.

He sat in his car for a couple of minutes before turning it on and thinking about the last hour he had just spent with Emma. He shook his head and laid it on the steering wheel when his mind drifted to an imagined picture of Walsh with his arm around her shoulder.

He reluctantly left the parking lot and drove home with just his grieving thoughts for company.


	5. Chapter 5

**_Thanks to the Betas! And I still don't own these characters..._**

* * *

Marian picked Emma up outside of the building a few minutes after she saw Killian drive away. She didn't know what to think of their first tutoring session. He had definitely helped, and she was surprised she was able to actually do a problem by herself, but there was a certain _something_ between them she just couldn't explain. It was… different, and she didn't know how she felt about it.

She entered the car and Marian waited until she was buckled before saying anything. "How was the session?"

"Okay," Emma said the single word and hated that she sounded like an ungrateful teenager, quickly thinking of something else to say. "He explained how to plot points and draw equations much better than Mr. Spencer was ever able to."

Emma always loved it when she saw Marian smile. It meant that she was happy, and if she was happy, Emma would get to stay. "I'm glad to hear that. What's your tutor like?"

Emma swallowed as she thought of his blue eyes and too cute smile, imagining that moment he stood right behind her at the desks. "He's nice. He already attends college for math and is in all AP classes at school. He's, like, super smart."

"It looks like Mr. Spencer found a good tutor for you, then," she replied. Her foster mother pulled into the driveway and the two got out. They walked into the house and, as soon as the door opened, Emma flew to the stairs and went to her bedroom without saying a word to anyone.

She went to her desk and opened up her laptop. Once everything warmed up, she went on Facebook and typed the name, "Killian Jones" into the search bar. Only a handful of people popped up with the name, and so it was really easy to find her tutor. She clicked on the small picture and went to his page.

Most of it was set to private, but she was able to see a few photos. She clicked on his profile picture. It was a picture of him with a gold medal around his neck. He was alone, but beaming with pride in the photo. Clearly he had just won some sort of swim meet, and she couldn't help but feel jealous that, not only was this boy smart, he was athletic, too.

Her stomach lurched as she scanned the picture and noticed wet hair falling down over his face. She quickly went on to the next photo, ignoring the physical reaction she had gotten from that last picture.

The other profile pictures were pretty much the same – mostly of Killian at various events and one in a Central Community College sweatshirt – so she decided to check out his other public photos. She clicked on the picture of him with a few of his friends at the top of his profile and looked at the people in it.

She didn't know any of them, and Killian really was right when he said that they just didn't hang around the same group of people. He had a small group of friends, and they were apparently very close, since they were in all of his pictures. She grinned as she looked at his friends in various scenarios – ones just like her own group of friends – until she clicked to see the fifth one in the album.

At the far left of the picture, with her arm around Killian's neck and Killian's right back, was Aurora, her next-door neighbor.

She barely knew Aurora. They met a couple times at block parties when Robin and Marian made her go, but that was the extent of her relationship. It wasn't that they didn't get along, per se, and more that they just didn't have any of the same interests or classes and had no real need to hang out.

Emma leaned back in her desk chair, staring at the smiling faces of Killian and his friends. Was Aurora his girlfriend? He didn't have any other pictures of them public, but that didn't mean anything other than he was a private person. It made sense. Killian was smart and athletic. Who wouldn't want to date him?

Emma's eyes widened as the brief thought crept into her mind, and she quickly exited Facebook and snapped her computer closed. Where did _that_ come from? She barely knew the boy, and she had Walsh. That was completely out of line, and Emma walked over to her bed and flopped down, face first, onto the soft mattress.

She closed her eyes and forced herself to think of the day Walsh asked her out. He worked in that ice cream shop – Any Given Sundae – which she, Mary Margaret, and Ruby liked to go to when it wasn't too cold. In fact, that day was going to be the last time they went there for the season because it was starting to cool down due to the fall weather.

All summer, her friends had been teasing her that the guy behind the counter had a crush on her and that he was _always_ giving her an extra scoop of the caramel pecan ice cream, and Emma would deny it every time. Then, a week before their first date, he told her he wouldn't give her the bowl unless she agreed to go to Granny's with him. Mary Margaret and Ruby had squealed the entire time she tried to grab the ice cream from across the cash register before finally agreeing (with no intention of following through).

The rest was history. He had somehow coaxed her out of her home, brought her to the diner that Ruby's grandmother owned, and they spent the last year in a blissful high school romance.

And now, she had missed their first anniversary because she just couldn't get the hang of algebra.

Not only that, but she decided to spend the day being tutored by another boy, instead.

* * *

Killian didn't sleep very well on Friday night, which only added to his already uneasy feeling in his stomach as he got ready for his first day as a lifeguard. He had just been certified two nights ago, and all Killian could think about were the worst-case-scenarios that the videos and trainers discussed.

Well, that and his first tutoring session with Emma.

Two hours in to his first shift, nothing exciting had really happened. He had to blow his whistle twice for kids running along the side of the pool, but in general, there really hadn't been any problems. In fact, he was settling in and starting to calm down a bit when he saw the door open on the far side of the pool.

He squinted to make sure his eyes were not imagining things as Emma walked in holding a little boy's hand, the kid holding another, older woman's hand on his other side. She was completely dressed, and it was clear that she had no interest in actually swimming this morning. The two women found chairs near the pool, and the boy shrugged off his shirt and jumped in as soon as the woman seemed okay with it. Emma sat down and took out her phone, seemingly ignoring everything going on in the room.

Killian's heart beat fast as he tried to figure out what to do, finally deciding on just sitting upon his risen chair and attempt to appear uninterested. He slouched down, rested his chin on his hand, crossed his legs, and tried to look as nonchalant as he possibly could. He went back to watching the pool, every once in a while glancing up at the new girl he was tutoring. The change in position was starting to get uncomfortable, but he'd be damned if he didn't look cool if Emma happened to look over.

A couple of kids ran right by his chair, and he blew the whistle loudly, shouting "No running!" and causing the two to slow down. When the kids walked away slowly, their heads held in shame, he scanned the room to find Emma was missing from her previous spot.

The pool seemed to settle down into an easy rhythm after that, but Killian felt anything but. While he still paid close attention to the happenings of the pool, he couldn't help but feel saddened that she was here and he didn't even get a chance to talk to her.

Apparently that was not the case when someone tapped his arm. "Hey, Killian."

Killian looked down as he saw Emma standing next to the chair. "Oh, hi, Swan." He gave her a big smile, sitting up in a collective manner, and using the moniker she seemed to have enjoyed from the other day.

It must have worked, because her plastered, _"obligated to say hi"_ smile turned genuine. "I've never seen you here before," Emma waved to the pool.

"It's actually my first day. Do you come here often?"

Emma shook her head no. "Only once in a while. The only reason I'm here is because my mom was bringing my brother, and I wanted to get out of the house." She leaned up against his chair and looked out at all the kids having fun in the pool. "So, you're a tutor, a swim teacher, and a lifeguard. What's with all the jobs?"

Killian's eyes darted to Emma, even though she was looking away. He wasn't sure if he wanted to tell her the true reason in fear that he might sound cocky, even if he was. His brain just couldn't think up of a lie quick enough, so he had to settle for a half-truth. "I need to start saving up for college," he said, hoping that would be enough for her.

She turned back to look at him. "Oh! Where have you been accepted?" she asked with sincere curiosity.

"A range of places from across the country," he answered, really hoping she'd drop it this time.

Of course, he had no such luck when it came to anything Emma. "Anywhere good?"

Killian decided to cave. "I got accepted to Harvard last week before I became your tutor."

Emma's eyes opened wide. She obviously didn't find it self-centered and instead seemed in awe of him. "Wow, that's quite the accomplishment."

Killian raised his shoulders, trying to blush it off. "It's why I've had to suddenly take all these jobs. Have you been looking anywhere?"

"Walsh has his heart set on University of Maine, " she replied, and a surge of distaste ripped through his chest at the sound of Walsh's name. "It has a pretty campus, I guess. I just need to pass my Algebra 2 class if I actually hope to get accepted there." She gave a sort of chuckle that Killian knew was forced.

Before he knew the words were coming out of his mouth, he said, "We could do more tutoring if you think it would help?" He hoped he hadn't come across as _too_ eager, even if he was praying to the heavens and earth that she'd say yes.

"You don't have to do that. You only get paid to tutor me twice a week."

"I really don't mind," he replied, a little too quickly. What was he doing? He was already stretching himself too thin as it was. He really didn't have time to dedicate another hour to tutoring her every week.

Yet, he wanted nothing more in the world at that moment than to do so. Even if it meant putting his social life on hold or spending less time doing the things he liked, he would do anything for that _one extra hour_.

Emma was thinking about it for a good minute before she turned back to him. "Fine, but only if I can buy you dinner in exchange for it. Maybe you won't get an official paycheck, but I refuse to let you tutor me without some sort of compensation."

Killian thought about how spending time with her was compensation enough – _more _than enough – but held his tongue. "I'm free Sunday evening? It might be good to review the previous week's themes before you start learning new stuff on Monday."

"Sound's good. It's a date," Emma suddenly paused and Killian's heart raced. She looked mortified with what she had just said. "I mean, um…"

Killian waved it off as if he didn't hear anything. "We can go to the library at 6:00 and then stop at Granny's on the way out for that dinner you'll owe me."

Emma seemed petrified and silent before nodding. "Yeah, I guess. I should be getting back before… So, yeah. See you Sunday." She waved and ran back around to the other side of the pool.

It was Killian's job to blow the whistle at her and yell at her to stop running, but seeing her golden hair trail behind her as she flew across the room was a sight he never wanted to forget.


	6. Chapter 6

**_Thanks to the betas!_**

* * *

Emma paced her bedroom, the words _"It's a date,"_ playing over and over in her head. She was confused with her reaction to the three words – it's something everyone says to people when they make plans. Hell, she's said it to Ruby and Mary Margaret more often than she did even Walsh!

But there was something about saying it to Killian that just didn't settle right in her stomach, and this peculiar emotion seemed to creep up every time she was around him.

In this moment, she wanted nothing more than to talk to her friends. Talking through these feelings might help her shape an understanding of what they were herself. But, if she knew anything about her friends, they'd already be getting ready for David's birthday party. Plus, she was grounded.

She could talk to Marian about it. Don't girls go to their mothers about boys and stuff like that? But there was nothing really to talk about. She was as much in love with Walsh as Marian was in love with Robin.

There shouldn't _be_ outside feelings.

No. There _weren't_ outside feelings.

Killian was just her tutor. Her really cute and nice tutor. Nothing more.

Emma jumped in place, wiping the thoughts of the boy from her mind and left her room. She didn't know what she was going to do, but she knew she couldn't stay in her bedroom and mull over something that really didn't matter.

She wasn't thinking clearly because as soon as she hit the bottom stair, she ran into her foster father. Emma smiled as he tumbled back. She absolutely adored the man, and he was just as much in love with her, too. Robin had always had a soft spot for Emma ever since she had come to live with them. At first, she thought it was because he felt bad for her after her social worker had told him about her case file, but she quickly discovered that they just clicked as a father/daughter pair. Emma used to be around him much more as an underclassman, and _"just the two of them"_ has been becoming less and less frequent.

Maybe it was a blessing that Emma was grounded and that her foster father didn't have to work today. Maybe a day off with her him was just what she needed to get away from everything. "Hey Robin. Are you busy?" she asked.

Robin looked down at his watch before grinning at Emma. "Not yet. What's up?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to do something? We haven't hung out in a while, and today seems like the perfect day for us to just go somewhere by ourselves like we used to."

"Are you just trying to get out of the house because you're grounded? I _know_ that's why you went to the pool with Marian and Roland this morning," Robin said with a knowing grin.

Emma swallowed as she thought of the real reason behind it before settling on, "Perhaps that's why I went with them, but I actually do want to go out with _you_. It's been a really long time."

Robin took a moment before answering. "Anything for you, m'lady. Let me make a quick call to the store and then why don't we go to our special spot? Run upstairs and get a sweatshirt. I'll be done when you come back down."

Emma nodded and ran upstairs, not only excited to spend a day with her first real father figure, but also relieved she had something to do other than brood over her unwanted thoughts.

* * *

Sunday evening came too quickly for Emma, and before she knew what was happening, she was driving to Storybrooke Library.

She parked in the back parking lot and looked at the clock. 5:54. Was it too early to go in? Should she be fashionably late? Emma contemplated her options before finally cursing to herself and going in.

This wasn't anything special; just a tutoring session. He was just doing her a favor, and God knows she needed this favor. This wasn't something she should stress over. It was just a tutoring session.

This was _just_ a tutoring session.

She walked in and found her way to the silent study rooms and opened one of the doors, claiming the small room for her and Killian. Emma set her backpack down on the desk and took out her algebra textbook. She had already started the problems Mr. Jefferson had assigned for homework this weekend, and she was praying that she had done them right.

Emma was concentrating so hard on problem 11 that she jumped when she heard a knock on the door. She waved him in through the glass window and her stomach twisted as she heard him say, "Hi, Swan." There was the nickname he'd only used twice, but she already liked how it sounded coming out of his mouth.

"Hey Killian. How was the rest of your weekend?" She looked him up and down as he took his spot right next to him. He was always put together – there was never a stain on his shirt or a collar out of place, and each one continued to match his eyes. His deep, deep, ocean-blue eyes.

"Swan?" Killian asked again, and Emma had to shake her head from her own thoughts.

"Oh, um, sorry. What was that?" Her face was turning red as he gave the same smirk he had that first day by her locker.

"I asked how your weekend was."

"It was fine. I haven't been able to go out since my last test, so I've been hanging out with my parents and brother more than usual," she replied as she looked back at her homework. "I tried doing some of the assignment by myself before coming. Do you think you could check it over?"

Killian nodded and held out his hand for Emma to pass him the paper. He looked in her textbook for the equation she was supposed to be drawing, then looking over at her textbook to see her responses.

She held her breath, praying to be right. Emma wanted to prove to Killian she could be smart, too, and that she wasn't just some dumb blonde who couldn't do math. Why did he have some hold over her? The desire to prove herself to him was growing every time his eyes scanned a new problem on his paper.

After a few minutes, he passed back the notebook, smiling. "Pretty good! You got the majority of them right on your own. Questions 2, 5, 8, and 10 need a little work, but we can go over them and then try some more, okay?"

Emma responded by taking the notebook back and rewriting the equation for question 2 at the top of the page and then drawing an axis underneath. Killian scooted a little closer as he started explaining what she had done wrong, and what she needed to do to make the answer right, but his new position was distracting her.

The mixture of chlorine and cologne filled her nose in a delicious way. His arm had draped behind her back and was putting the tiniest bit of pressure on her back, a radiating heat burning through her shirt. His muscles were toned for someone so young, and Emma thought about how strong they had seemed in his swim gear. He cocked his head as he kept talking and drawing, causing his hair to lightly tickle her cheek.

Killian finally turned to her with a question in his eyes, and as he held out the pencil to her, Emma took it. What did he want her to do? She had absolutely no clue, and her mind went blank as she tried to figure out her next move.

"Do you think we could go over it one more time?" Her words were slow, and she hoped that that could be a right response to whatever he had asked her.

"Sure," he said, taking the pencil back out of her hand and looking down at the paper. He drew a new graph with ease and started to explain again. Emma made sure she paid attention to every single word he said – well, at least as well as she _could_ – so that the next time he passed her the pencil, she wouldn't be caught off guard.

"Then you connect them like this. Really easy. Your turn," he said as he gave her the pencil and an encouraging look.

She took it and slowly followed the directions he had just given her, even if her brain was muddled with other thoughts instead. She took her time when she was drawing, desperate to get the question right despite how long it would take to get there.

After she drew the line connecting the two dots, she turned her head to see Killian staring at her graph. When he finally looked up at her, their eyes met in a deep stare. Their eyes locked for that brief moment before Emma blinked and shook her head. "How'd I do?" she asked, hating herself for how breathless she must sound.

His mouth widened into that smile he gave when she was right. "You got it, Swan."

She looked back down at her paper and smiled to herself before turning the notebook and drawing a new graph. "Well, let's just see if I can do it twice in a row before we begin to celebrate."

The rest of the session went much of the same, Emma answering a question and Killian either correcting or praising it. She was beginning to get the hang of it, and by the end, she was able to do the problem without any prompting from Killian. It was only when the librarian knocked on the door and stuck her head in that they ended.

Emma looked down at her watch to find it was nearly 8:00. "Whoa! I'm sorry we took this long. Do you still have time to grab something at Granny's?" Emma wasn't sure if she was nervous or hopeful for his answer and waited to see his response before deciding an emotion.

Killian's face fell when he realized what time it was. "Alas, I have my own homework I must get done before I get too tired. Rain check?"

"Oh, sure. What's your number?" she asked, without thinking. She really needed to get in control of her words around him, and so she added without a beat, "You know, in case I get stuck on a problem before our next session on Wednesday?"

"Right…" Killian held out his hand. "Give me your phone." He typed his numbers into her phone and passed it back. "Just let me know who you are if you text me."

They both walked out together, an uncomfortable distance between them. Once outside, Emma shivered as they went their separate ways across the parking lot. "Bye, Swan," she heard him call, and she just waved back and smiled.

She got in her car and buckled the seatbelt, pulling away from the library and turning her car in the opposite direction of Killian Jones.

* * *

Killian hit his alarm next to his bed when the familiar tune woke him Monday morning. He groaned as he sat up, thinking about the long day ahead of him. He didn't get to go to sleep until nearly 2:00 in the morning while trying to do his homework, and it didn't help that Mondays were now his longest days.

He had to go to school early for the weekly student council meeting, then he had math at Mist Haven Community College during the day, then swim practice, and now he had to start teaching. He would be leaving the house at 6:40 in the morning and not getting home until nearly 8:30, and _then_ he'd still have to stay awake to do homework.

As he was sitting, he closed his eyes, and he couldn't help but think how it was definitely worth it to spend those extra two hours with Emma last night.

* * *

_-9x – 2y = 12_

The equation was probably burned into her brain by now, considering how long she had been staring at it. The _one thing_ about Mr. Jefferson's class that she didn't like was that he gave 10-point quizzes every Monday at the beginning of class to go through the themes of the previous week. He said it was a good way to remind them of what they did and what they will build on, but all it did was make her think of one more test she could fail before getting A's on three in a row.

But, at least they weren't the pop quizzes like Mr. Spencer used to give, even if she was dying to go back to that class.

Emma took a deep breath and tried to remember everything Killian taught her the previous night. She had gotten the hang of it towards the end, and Emma just needed to take her time. One of his tips was to not feel the need to be the first one done, and not to care if she was the last one. He had told her it was more important to do it _right_ than to do it _fast_, that she shouldn't feel pressured about what everyone else was doing.

As she started to plot points and connect lines, she imagined that it was just her and Killian in the library study room, ignoring everything going on around her. Emma thought of her tutor guiding her through the problem, the things he told her to do and the order to do them, and before she knew it, she began to feel confident in her graph.

Only nine more to go.

Maybe she could do this.

* * *

Killian shoved his swimsuit, towel, and cap into his waterproof duffel bag. It had been a grueling practice today, and his lack of sleep was really getting to him by now.

"Everything okay?" Phillip asked as he came up behind him. "You didn't look too well out there."

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little tired." His yawn escaped him right on cue. "I didn't get to bed until 2:00 last night and really just want to relax."

Phillip nodded in understanding. "Well, make sure you get to bed earlier Wednesday night. We have that big meet against Nottingham High School on Thursday and we can't have our captain coming in last," he joked, but he looked completely serious. "We haven't lost to them since before we even started here."

"Don't you think I know that?" Killian snapped as he slammed the locker closed. "It's not like I'm _trying_ to do poorly."

"What were you doing last night anyway? It's never taken you until 2:00 to do homework." Phillip and Killian began leaving the locker room. Killian was still wet from the pool, but figured it didn't matter because he was immediately going to the Community Center pool.

"I started my job as a lifeguard at the pool yesterday, and then I had to tutor. I guess my homework just went to the back burner. This whole schedule is new and tight, and I just have to figure out the best way to balance my time to get everything done."

Phillip turned to look at him. "You're only supposed to tutor twice a week after school. Why did you tutor last night?"

Killian shrugged as he clicked the unlock button on his key once he reached his jet-black car. "Emma needed a little extra help."

Phillip studied him before shaking his head and going to his own car. "I'll see you tomorrow. Try to get to bed at a reasonable hour today, okay? You don't handle yourself well when you're tired."

Killian was tempted to give a naught gesture as he threw his backpack and duffel bag in the passenger seat, but decided against it when he started his car and turned to go to the Storybrooke Community Center for his first day as a swimming instructor


	7. Chapter 7

This was it. This was the first test Emma was going to get back from Mr. Jefferson's class. She was nervous, but it was a different type of nervousness than the last one she had gotten from Mr. Spencer. This one was going to be a baseline for how she was going to do in the remedial class, whereas Mr. Spencer's had been the make it or break it moment for his class. It wouldn't necessarily predict whether Emma would do well in the class or not, but it would let her know if being in this class, no matter the duration, is worth it.

Mr. Jefferson started passing back the tests from Monday. She looked around at her classmate's responses to try to figure out how people did. Most of them seemed pleased, but a few were clearly disappointed. Emma kept telling herself to breath as she waited to see if she passed, too.

Her heart started pounding when Mr. Jefferson turned around and started walking towards her desk, making unsettling eye contact with her. Once he got to her desk, he grabbed the first paper off the pile and gave it to her, upside down, before turning to give back the next student's quiz.

When no one was looking at her, she turned the paper over, and the small smile that covered her face was surprising.

In bright red, Mr. Jefferson wrote a big "7.5/10" by her name. Sure, it was only 75%, but she had not gotten a C on a math test in a very, very long time. She felt proud of the little feat, the weight coming off her shoulders just a tiny bit.

If she was able to raise her grade a whole letter after two tutoring lessons, she surely would be able to get three A's and pass the final in no time.

Emma took out her textbook and set it on her desk before grabbing her phone from her backpack, she hid it behind the book as she typed out a simple text:

7.5/10! Thanks for your help, tutor :)

She clicked her phone to sleep and placed it back into her bag for the rest of class, itching to get out of there and home for the night.

* * *

"I just got into Northwestern University last night!" Victor said as he and Killian walked back to their lockers after the final bell rang. "I'm so excited!"

"Congrats, man," Killian patted his friend's back. "Have you decided which college you want to go to?"

"Well, I was pretty sure I wanted the University of Pennsylvania until I got into Northwestern, but now I can't decide. I have to figure out which one has a better pre-med program." Victor started talking about the pros and cons between the two schools, but Killian had completely stopped listening.

He had taken out his phone to briefly ask Phillip a question and saw he had a text from an unknown number. He was almost going to ignore it completely until he saw what it said:

_7.5/10! Thanks for your help, tutor :)_

He hadn't really thought she would _really_ text her after giving her his number, or, at least not for reasons like this. He had assumed she would just call if she _just couldn't remember_ where the x-coordinate goes. Seeing such a laid-back text brought a smile to his face, and now he just had to play it off, being the cocky bastard he was.

** _Who is this?_**

Within seconds, he already had a reply.

_I thought you were the smart one. Perhaps I need to hire a new  
tutor, Jones._

"Earth to Killian!" Victor said, waving a hand in front of his face. Killian shot up and looked at his friend.

"What?" he asked.

"Who's more important than me?" Victor teased, but seemed genuinely interested to find out who could possibly be texting him.

Killian shook his head. "No one. It's just that girl I tutor."

"If it was nothing, then why are you smiling like a buffoon?"

Killian thought of her green eyes and what they must have looked like when she saw her grade on that quiz. Granted, Killian would have been mortified if he got 75% on it, but it was a small accomplishment for her, and the text showed that she really appreciated his help. "She just did better on her first quiz after I started tutoring her. It feels good to know I'm helping."

"That does not explain the buffoon part."

"Whatever. I'm just happy for her," he lied, looking down at his phone and typing a response.

**_Congratulations, Swan. I'm proud of your first accomplishment._**

Without waiting for her reply, he continued on.

**_Perhaps to celebrate, we could go to Granny's? I believe you  
owe me a dinner for Sunday night._**

"Yeah, okay buddy. Whatever you say. I'll see you tomorrow. Have fun swimming for the night." Victor waved as he left the building.

Killian's wave was small as he kept checking his phone. Was that too forward? He couldn't help the voice inside his head thinking he shouldn't have said anything other than the congratulations. It had been a two minutes before he gave up, putting his phone in his pocket while he grabbed his swimming duffel bag and walked to meet Phillip before practice.

Killian was starting to change when his phone buzzed against the metal locker. He hastily finished dressing as quickly as possible and grabbed the phone, opening to see what it was.

_Sure. Walsh and I were going to go out tonight anyway for our  
__ anniversary, but you can bring someone along and we can have_  
_ a little Tuesday-night double date._

Killian's heart sank as he looked at the text. _Of course_ she'd want to hang out with her boyfriend of one year instead of her tutor of less than a week. Why did he think she'd actually want to go to dinner with him? He was _just_ her tutor, and she saw him nothing more than that.

And on top of it, the idea of going to dinner with that asshole, Walsh, sounded like the worst time in the world. Killian barely got through the classes he had with him. He didn't want to hang out with him outside of school, too. With a silent sigh, he typed out a declining message.

_****Perhaps another time. I just realized that I'll be teaching until 7:00**  
** and so dinner would be much too late. Go enjoy your celebratory**  
**_**_dinner without me_.**

Killian placed his phone back into his locker, a little more forcefully than it needed to be. "Whoa, everything okay, Kill?" Phillip asked.

Killian's back was tense before turning around with the smirk he knew Phillip hated. "Never better."

* * *

**Perhaps another time. I just realized that I'll be teaching until 7:00**  
** and so dinner would be much too late. Go enjoy your celebratory**  
**dinner without me.**

Emma frowned at the text. Wasn't it his idea to go out? If she was being honest with herself, she did want to see him outside of their tutoring sessions. All she knew about the boy was that he went to Mist Haven for math class, he was a swim teacher and apparently a very good swimmer, and that he was accepted to Harvard.

And that he was dating Aurora, but she shouldn't really know that.

She wanted to get to know her tutor, and a double date would have been the perfect way. But, she realized she shouldn't have invited him anyway. She hadn't talked to Walsh, and he was planning it as a replacement anniversary date. She shot back a quick:

Ok. See you tomorrow for our session. Thanks again for your help.

Mary Margaret offered to drive her home today, and unfortunately, she was much too perceptive than her liking. "What's got you so down?"

"Oh, nothing. Why?" The last thing she was going to admit to anyone was that she was upset her tutor couldn't meet for dinner tonight.

They were waiting at the stoplight when her friend turned towards her. "In the ten minutes you've been texting, you went from smiling, to afraid, to disappointed. That's a lot of emotions in such little time."

Emma thought about telling Mary Margaret about the weird feelings she's been having about Killian before deciding against it. "It's nothing. I'm just thinking about how much homework I have and how Walsh wants to go out for our anniversary."

"Oh," Mary Margaret started driving again, and Emma could tell that she saw right through the lie. "Why don't you just reschedule with Walsh, then?"

Emma shook her head. "I can't. He was already really upset we couldn't go out on our actually anniversary or all weekend. I don't want to cancel on him the first night I can be with him again."

Emma refused to add, "and I need to remind myself of how wonderful he is before I see my tutor again tomorrow".

Mary Margaret stopped in front of Emma's front lawn. "I'm sure he has something romantic planned, and all your homework woes will be gone." She gave Emma a look that said she wasn't buying this conversation at all.

"I'm sure it will be very romantic. Walsh is much too romantic for his own good." Emma said as she stepped out of the car. "I'll see you tomorrow. Bye."

"Goodbye," Mary Margaret replied while Emma shut the door. Emma started walking up her steps and it wasn't until she opened the door to her house that she heard Mary Margaret's car driving away.

She walked into the kitchen and smiled when she saw Robin sitting there with a laptop. "Well, this is a surprise," she said. "I haven't seen you home this early in weeks."

Robin looked up from his computer. "I was able to take an early day today. It was a slow day at the store, and so I took the opportunity and ran with it."

Emma went over to the refrigerator as Robin shut down his computer. "What are your plans tonight now that you're free again?" he asked.

"Walsh is going to take me out for our anniversary."

Robin grinned. "Has it really already been a year for you two?"

"Last Friday was the day." Emma smiled and breathed deeply.

"He's a good guy," he said, standing up and taking his computer with him. "Just don't stay out too late tonight, okay? I would hate for you to go out only to get grounded again because you didn't do your homework and got in trouble at school for it."

Emma agreed and went upstairs to find a new outfit to wear tonight. She pulled out Walsh's favorite dress – a short red one with thin straps. Ruby had bought it for her and, even though Emma thought it might be a little too old for her age, when Walsh's eyes lit up at the sight, she knew she had to keep it. Suddenly, she heard her phone vibrate. Holding the hanger, she walked over to the phone and saw a picture of her boyfriend, telling her who her caller was. "Hello?" she called as she picked it up.

"Hey Em. I'm outside," Walsh said in a cool voice.

Emma looked over to the clock on her nightstand. "Aren't you here a little early?"

"I just couldn't wait any longer," he explained. "Are you ready?"

Emma looked down at her jeans and cardigan before replying. "No, but give me 10 minutes and I will be. You could come in and talk to Robin if you'd like?"

"Nah, I'll just be out here. Come on out when you're ready."

Emma switched from the outfit she wore at school to the red dress she had chosen as quickly as she could. She picked a pair of black ballet flats before pulling her hair out of her ponytail and putting it into a French braid that fell over her left shoulder. She stepped back to look at herself, turning around to look in her whole body in the floor-length mirror.

As she always did before a date with Walsh (per her friend's request), Emma took a picture of herself and sent it to Ruby with the words, "Look okay?". Ruby claimed that, "if she couldn't be there to pick the outfit out for her, she at least had to make sure she looked good before going". She would send the picture to Ruby and wait for her reply, which, being Ruby, usually took about 30 seconds. At first, Emma was self conscious about the ritual, but soon it became really fun. Emma would make weird faces or pose in funny positions. Today, she settled for a duck face and a peace sign – one of Ruby's signature poses.

Without much thinking, Emma sent the picture and went back to looking at herself in the mirror, waiting for Ruby's response. Emma frowned when she didn't hear her phone buzz right away, but thought maybe that Ruby was just busy at the moment. Her grandmother had just moved in with her family, and she was still getting used to the new family dynamic in her household.

When a good minute-and-a-half went by with nothing, Emma knew she couldn't make Walsh wait any longer. She shrugged, assuming that her friend approved of the outfit. She grabbed her jacket for the cool fall air, put her phone in her purse, and ran down the stairs as fast as she could.

"Bye Robin, bye Marian," Emma called as she had her hand on the front door. "I'll see you around 8:30"

"Not any later! It's a school night and you have homework!" she heard her foster mother yell, and Emma smiled and rolled her eyes as she left the house.

She hopped down the front steps and came to her boyfriend, waiting outside the car with another rose. "Happy anniversary, Emma," he said as he kissed her cheek, grinning from ear to ear as he pulled back to look at her.

"Happy anniversary, Walsh," she replied, walking around the car and getting into her side. "Are you going to tell me where you're taking me?"

"Not unless you guess," he teased as he started the car.

Emma tried to think of where he could think were their romantic places. He wouldn't take her to Any Given Sundae, but he also wouldn't take her to Granny's for such a momentous occasion. She gave up pretty quickly. "You're right, I'd rather be surprised."

He turned to her after making sure the road was clear. "I know you would."

Walsh reached over with his right hand and grabbed hers, keeping his other hand on the wheel. They drove in a comfortable silence until he pulled up in front of Tony's Restaurant.

"Aww! I can't believe I forgot that time we went here!" she said, getting excited. "Remember how that guy tripped by the bar and got red wine all over his white shirt?"

Walsh chuckled at Emma's enthusiasm. "Then that one waitress tried to clean him up and slipped on the wine instead." Emma laughed again. "We really shouldn't be laughing, karma and all."

"Oh, please. You were the perfect gentleman and offered to help clean up. If there's one person who doesn't have to worry about karma, it's you."

Walsh smiled at her compliment as he placed his hand on her back, guiding her into the Italian restaurant. The hostess brought them to their reserved table right by the window. Walsh took off her jacket and pulled out her chair before telling her he had to use the bathroom.

Emma took out her phone to finally see Ruby responded to her and was pleasantly surprised she had.

Until she read what it said.

** Where's your date night pic? I didn't get a chance to approve  
your dress!**

Emma furrowed her eyebrows as she read the message twice, then scrolled up and noticed that she hadn't actually sent the picture to her. She remembered hearing the swooshing sound when she sent the picture. She started to investigate when her heart stopped.

She sent the picture to Killian.

"Shit!" she hissed, under her breath. Her eyes darted to the bathrooms as she tried to figure out what to do. What was she supposed to say to Killian? To Ruby? To Walsh?

She quickly sent a message to her friend and chanced a conversation before her boyfriend got back.

OMG I sent it to the wrong person. This is why I don't like doing this!

** Oh, please. We've been doing this for a year and this has never  
happened before. This isn't my fault.**

You're the one who begs me to do it!

** Who'd you send it to anyway?**

My tutor!

** Was it at least a good picture?**

RUBY!

** I'm serious. The last few you've sent me have made you look  
like a real weirdo. Please tell me you weren't pretending to be  
** **Hermione again**.

How do you think that is at all helpful?

** I'm trying to assess the situation! Were you or were you not  
impersonating a character from Harry Potter?!**

No, I was not.

** Well, at least there's that. What are you going to do?**

Emma was just about to respond when her boyfriend cleared his throat. "Everything okay, Emma? You look upset."

She shook her head no. "Remember when I told you Ruby makes me send her a picture before all of our dates?"

"Oh my god, you still do that?" Walsh laughed, and Emma felt her cheeks tinge. "What happened? Did she not approve of the outfit this time?"

"We'll never know because I sent the picture to the wrong person!"

Walsh's face smiled in amusement. "And to whom did you send this picture to? August?" He laughed harder at the idea of Emma sending her oldest friend in Storybrooke a picture of her in the red dress.

Emma didn't know if it was possible for her cheeks to turn this color. "No, I sent it to my tutor."

He must of sensed her distress because he chose to latch on to that topic instead of the one that was haunting Emma, even if he was enjoying it. "I never got a chance to ask you about that. How's the tutoring going?"

Emma told herself to breath as she tried to calm down from the embarrassment she knew would come the next time she saw Killian. Maybe she could ask Mr. Spencer for a new tutor? "Uh, good, I guess. Until tonight, that is…"

"Who is it, anyway?" he asked.

Emma slid her phone into her purse, her mind going a million miles a moment, even if she was trying to forget the picture. "Killian Jones? You might know him. He said you've been in a couple of classes together."

Walsh's face dropped immediately at the name. "Killian is your tutor?" his voice was annoyed. "God, I can't stand that kid."

Emma was taken aback by his words. From the four times she had been around Killian, he was nothing other than a gentleman. And, even with his hectic school and work schedule, he was willing to give her a free tutoring session.

Plus, he had those gorgeous blue eyes.

She blinked, erasing the thought of him when she was at her anniversary dinner. "Why don't you like him?" Emma's voice was too breathless for what it should have sounded like. "He seems really smart and has been super nice so far."

"Ugh, just trust me, Emma. He's not someone you want to hang out with."

It was Emma's turn to frown. "I don't really have a choice, Walsh. I have to do well in math so I can get back to Mr. Spencer's class and graduate from high school. Weren't you the one who said it would be great if we could go to the University of Maine together?"

"Of course you have a choice! Who cares if you're in Mr. Jefferson's class? The slower pace will be good for you." Emma took a sharp intake of breath, causing Walsh to reach forward and grab her hand. "You know I didn't mean it like that, Em. Listen, Killian Jones is one of my least favorite people in the world. It's really nothing against you. And now he has a picture of my girlfriend on his phone. Please tell me you aren't doing ainappropriate pose…"

Emma wanted to yank her hand right out of Walsh's hand and leave the restaurant right then and there. He was supposed to support her, not call her a stupid tramp in one breath. She was clearly humiliated, and he wasn't even trying to help in the slightest. "I have to look at the menu. I don't know what I want to eat."

The rest of dinner was strained and awkward. They always had something to talk about, but the conversations were surface level at best. When had she ever talked to her boyfriend about the "brisk autumn weather we're having"?

After he paid the bill, they drove back to her house in an unbearable silence – the complete opposite of the way there. As he pulled into her driveway, he turned to face her. "I don't want to fight, Emma, especially not on our anniversary. I'm sorry for everything I said. Forgive me?"

Emma looked at Walsh's face. He was genuinely sorry, forcing her to unwillingly nod her head. They gave each other an obligatory kiss before Emma got out and walked back into the house, purposefully leaving the rose he got her in the front seat.

It was nearly 45 minutes before she claimed she would be home. Emma sighed as she kicked off her shoes and grabbed her backpack from the front hall, bringing it to her study station at the kitchen table. "How was your anniversary dinner?" Marian asked as Emma walked by.

"I don't want to talk about it," Emma mumbled, still in her red dress. "I have homework to do."

Marian opened her mouth to say something but closed it, patting Emma on the shoulder instead. One thing Emma appreciated about Marian was that she never forced Emma to talk. She respected her privacy, and only offered support when Emma came to her with a problem. "I'll be in the living room if you need anything."

"Okay." Emma replied in an unappreciative tone. She took out her math assignment and began looking over the material, a single tear falling down onto her notebook paper and staining the page.

When her phone buzzed, she expected another apology text from Walsh. Instead, there was one from Killian.


	8. Chapter 8

Just like every other day, the first thing Killian does after getting dressed after swim practice is check his phone. Most days there is nothing, or some stupid text from Victor, so he isn't prepared for what he sees that afternoon.

There was a message from Emma asking, "Look okay?" sent with a picture. His eyes opened wide as he looked at the most beautiful picture he had ever seen. Upon closer inspection, he noticed her pursed lips and peace sign hand, making him chuckle silently. Beyond that, he admired at her golden hair, neatly braided to the side and falling like a waterfall over her shoulder. He looked down at the dress she was wearing and nearly dropped his jaw at the sight. The red dress hugged her curves perfectly with a _little_ too much cleavage than what should be appropriate for someone in high school.

She looked like goddess.

"What'cha lookin' at there?" Phillip asked, leaning over his shoulder. "Whoa! Who's that?"

"Nobody." Killian clicked his phone off. "I thought you had a girlfriend."

"I do!" Phillip shoved Killian lightly, teasing his quick response. "Do _you_ have a _girlfriend_ that you haven't told us about? It's about time! I didn't think you'd ever—"

"No, I don't have a girlfriend. It's just someone I know."

Phillip wasn't buying it. "Well, this _someone you know_ just sent you quite the picture of herself. Are you sure it's _just someone you know_?"

"She has a boyfriend."

Phillip cocked his head and grinned. "Let me guess, _you_?"

"Shut up," Killian replied, slamming his locker shut and wanting nothing more than to unlock his phone and look at the picture again.

Killian knew he had to come up with the perfect response to the text, so he just stuffed the phone into his backpack for later. He vowed to himself that he wasn't going to think about it until he was done teaching preschoolers how to swim this evening.

What a bunch of crap _that_ plan was.

When he asked them to hold their breath underwater, his mind drifted to the red dress. When he explained how to float in the pool, he thought of her perfect hair. When he told the class that they were done for the day, Killian shooed the families away. He nearly bolted out of the community center and into his car, driving home as quickly as he could.

It was nearly 7:40 when he was done showering and getting ready for the rest of the night at home. He still had quite a bit of studying left to do, and he wanted to get ahead in his work because he _knew_ he wasn't going to get anything done tomorrow. It was then that his hand finally inched back to his phone and looked at the picture.

Clearly, it wasn't meant for him – that was for sure. He knew he had to respond in some way, though. He couldn't leave this message hanging for much longer because he had a feeling Emma was completely and utterly embarrassed. He just couldn't figure out how to approach this without seeming creepy in some way.

His mind was turning, thinking of every way he could respond. It was then when an idea hit that caused his mouth to curve into a smirk. He'd always been an arrogant son of a bitch. Why stop now?

* * *

Emma really, _really_ did not want to find out what Killian had to say. After the horrible texts from Ruby and the even worse response from Walsh, she didn't want to find out how _he'd_ respond.

It didn't help that Walsh had warned her about him. Her stomach churned as he remembered his words, wondering what could have caused the division between the two. Finally, she swept her finger across the screen and clicked on her messages.

** _ Lose the duck face and you'll be good._ **

Emma's eyebrows furrowed at his words. It was so hard to read people over text, and she wasn't sure if he was serious or not. Did he really think that picture was for him? Just as she was about to text him clarification with an apology, she received another text.

**_Look okay?_**

Along with the text was a picture. Killian was sitting like a pretzel in plaid pajama pants and a Mist Haven crewneck. He was looking directly at the camera and had his hand in a peace sign – copying the move Emma had used. Instead of the face she had settled for, he had a crooked smile, his blue eyes shining in the picture while his left eyebrow was raised. His brown hair was still wet, drops of water hanging on the edge of the strands covering his forehead.

She grinned for the first time since before her dinner with Walsh. Killian _knew_ it wasn't for him – of course he did – and instead of bringing attention to the awkwardness, he diffused it with a joke. She let out a breath, feeling like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

After a few moments to process the situation, she finally decided to respond, and an easy conversation between the two began all on its own.

_ I'm not quite sure. The blue socks seem a little much to me._

** _ Really? I thought they matched my eyes perfectly._ **

_ Perfectly is a little bit too strong, and they clash with the red  
and black plaid pants._

** _ How disappointing. I was quite pleased with the outfit._ **

_ I'm sorry to be the one to tell you, it's a dud._

When Killian didn't respond right away, she shrugged and set her phone to the side. It was only when it buzzed a few seconds later with a picture of feet in white socks and the bottoms of his pajama pants that she knew the conversation was far from over.

** _ Better?_ **

_ Slightly, but I think black would look even better._

** _ Alas, all I have are black dress socks. Would a navy  
blue pair work?_ **

_ Absolutely not. It must be black. I can't approve of your  
outfit unless you have black socks._

** _ That's all? Black socks and you approve?_ **

_ Yep. Black socks and you'll be good._

Another few moments passed, and Emma knew that Killian was actually putting on black socks for her. Sure enough, moments later, a picture of his feet in the color she suggested popped up on her screen.

** _ Good?_ **

_ Good._

_ Shouldn't you be doing homework, Swan? If I'm  
correct, we have a tutoring session tomorrow after  
school…_

_ I WAS doing my homework until somebody interrupted me._

** _ Well, get back to it, then._ **

_ Okay, I will._

** _ Good._ **

_ Great._

** _ Awesome._ **

_ Spectacular._

For the next ten minutes, Emma tried to do her homework. She wanted to come to their tutoring session prepared, not to mention the paper for European History that she had to start.

Instead, she just kept sending different, one-worded texts to him and giggling at the ones he sent back.

Marian walked by to put a plate into the sink just as Emma was sending the word, _"terrific"_ to Killian. "You look better. I assume whatever happened with Walsh worked itself out?"

Emma's face fell as she suddenly remembered her terrible date with her boyfriend. He hadn't even tried to text her since leaving, and she was so wrapped up in her dorky conversation with Killian that she had completely forgotten him altogether.

"Uh, not yet…" Emma replied, ignoring the phone that was buzzing on the table next to her. "It's complicated."

Marian looked at the clock on the microwave. "Well, Robin and I are going up to bed. Don't stay up too late, okay?"

Emma nodded to her foster mother as she left the room.

She looked down at her phone to see _"Marvelous." _written on her screen. Making a deep sigh, she texted her tutor back.

_ I have a lot of homework. I'll see you tomorrow for our  
session. Is 2:45 in Mr. Spencer's classroom good again?_

** _ Yeah. See you then._ **

As Killian's response came through, Emma knew the conversation was over. She turned off her phone completely before turning back to her homework. She hadn't even looked at it since Killian started texting her nearly an hour ago.

She tried to concentrate on her history essay due on Thursday, but there was nothing she could do. Thoughts of the night – everything between her awful date with Walsh to sending Ruby's picture to the wrong person to Killian diffusing the situation – filled her mind, so much so that there was no way she could write her essay on Christopher Columbus. She closed her European History textbook and trudged upstairs to sleep everything off.

* * *

Emma refused to talk to Walsh all day. It was easy enough to ignore him during their typical walks I between class, but there were some moments that were increasingly more difficult. Her friends look at their strained movements during lunch and study hall, and Mary Margaret mentioned something on their ways to different math classes. Emma tried to brush it off, but Mary Margaret, _being_ Mary Margaret, looked right past it.

It was 2:40 when Walsh cornered Emma at her locker, finally forcing her to talk to him. "Em, can we talk about last night? Plese?"

"I have to go to tutoring." Emma placed her unneeded textbooks into her locker before closing it. "I don't have time to get into this right now."

"Just look at me, please!" Walsh was clearly annoyed, and Emma finally turned towards him. She leaned back on the lockers and gave him a look saying, _"you have three minutes"_.

"I'm sorry for last night, you know that," Walsh said.

Emma rolled her eyes at the comment. "Do you even _know_ why I'm mad?"

Walsh opened his mouth before closing it, trying to decide how he wanted to respond. "All I know is that you sent a picture to Killian, and then you got mad at me about it."

"No, I got mad at _your reaction_ to it. And, then on top of it, you said I was dumb!"

"No, I didn't! At least, that's not what I _meant_, and if you know me at all, you should already know that!"

Emma studied her boyfriend for a moment before continuing. "So, you're not saying I shouldn't go back to Mr. Spencer's class after a trimester in Mr. Jefferson's class?"

Walsh looked like he was trapped in a downward spiral. It would have been funny if it hadn't been such a serious and sensitive topic. "What I'm trying to say is that you're going to do well in Mr. Jefferson's class. Why would you want to go back and do poorly with Mr. Spencer?"

Emma waved her hands in frustration. "See? This is exactly what I'm talking about. You think that I'm automatically going to fail Mr. Spencer's class _just because_ I had some trouble earlier!" Emma looked over at the clock on the wall behind Walsh. "I have to go meet Killian for tutoring."

As she started to walk away, Walsh ran right in front of her to stop her. "No, Emma! You're not listening to me!"

"No, _you're_ not listening to what you're saying. Now, I'm going to be late for my session with Killian if you don't get out of my way." Emma pushed past him walking down the hallway to Mr. Spencer's classroom. "I'll talk to you later."

With that, she nearly ran down the hallway to get away from Walsh, and to make her tutoring session on time, with the words, _"You won't succeed in Mr. Spencer's class,"_ playing on repeat in her mind all the way there.

* * *

The next afternoon, Killian took the familiar route to Mr. Spencer's classroom for their third tutoring session. He had woken up with a huge grin this morning, despite waking up over and over again, thinking about his conversation with Emma.

He wasn't quite sure how she was going to act now that they were going to meet in person. Texting is one thing – it's easy to joke with someone not there. You can confess things you wouldn't normally tell people and it's just _simple_. Talking to people in real life, _that's_ what's hard, and he didn't know Emma well enough to know how she'd respond.

Mr. Spencer gave a polite goodbye as he left the room, and once again, Killian rearranged the desks to face each other. He slid into one of them, running his hand through his hair to mess it up just right, and leaned back against the chair. He shifted into an uninterested position and waited for Emma to walk in.

At 2:45 on the dot, Emma was standing in the doorway. "Hey," she said, her cheeks turning pink as she walked into the empty desk Killian left for her.

"Hey," Killian replied, a small smile dancing on his face. "How were classes today?"

Emma didn't look at him, and Killian felt a weird knot in his stomach. He thought he had done a good job fixing the situation. Even if the ending of their conversation was abrupt, he and Emma had texted for nearly an hour, and it had been comfortable, nice, _fun_. It hurt to think that she couldn't feel the same way in front of him as she had over text.

"Fine. Mr. Marco let us watch a movie in class today."

Emma had placed her Algebra textbook and a notebook upon her desk, looking at it as if it was the most important thing in the world. "I'm glad to hear that."

"Look, about the picture," Emma finally glanced up to him behind shy eyes. "I apologize that–"

"I knew from the moment I got the photo that it wasn't meant for me. It's an easy mistake to make, Swan. Water under the bridge." To prove it, Killian waved his hand. "There is nothing to apologize for."

Emma let out a breath with a grateful smile upon her face. "Thank you… And thanks for last night, too."

"Shall we get started, then?" Killian asked, turning to Emma's notebook to find that the next topic Mr. Jefferson's class was studying was writing linear equations. He leaned over and started explaining how basic it is when he saw Emma tear up. "Is everything okay?" he asked, concern outlining his entire face. This reaction seemed out of the blue, and he wanted to know how to fix it.

He needed to see her smile.

"Yeah," her voice trembled, and she blinked away the water in her eyes. "Everything's fine. So, linear equations…"

"Do I need to slow down? Is it too difficult?"

Emma shook her head no, looking down at the paper. "Please, just go on."

"Emma," she kept avoiding his gaze, especially when he used her real name, "I can tell something is wrong, and we're never going to be able to do this if you don't let me know. So tell me, what's bothering you?"

With a tiny voice, she asked, "Do you think I'll ever get back to Mr. Spencer's class?"

"What? Of course I do!" Killian replied, a little too quickly than he probably should, but he didn't care. She was in distress, and he wanted to make it better. "Why would you even think you wouldn't?"

"I had trouble in Mr. Spencer's class before, why wouldn't it happen again if I went back." Emma finally looked up at him. "Don't you think Mr. Jefferson's class is where I belong?"

He thought about it before deciding to be completely honest with her. "I think that it's what you need right now. But, I think your determination and tenacity will get you back to Mr. Spencer's class in no time." Without much thought, he reached his hand forward and placed it on top of hers. "I think your strength and personal promise will make you go far."

"You really think so?" she asked.

"I know so. And once you're back? I'll continue to help you in any way you need. As long as you'll have me, I'll be there. I won't back down."

The two stared at each other for a moment, and Killian was trying to decide if he said the right thing. Emma blinked her eyes, tearing away their eye contact and pulling her hand away from his. "Well, you're alone there…" she mumbled, barely audible to Killian.

He was going to comment on it, but decided against it. "So, linear equations." Killian went back to explaining the newest math concept and giving Emma practice problems.

* * *

It was the hardest session to get through, and it was not because of the difficulty of the topic, either. Emma actually had a pretty good grasp on the concept.

It's that Emma's mind was elsewhere. Walsh's words just would not leave her mind, and it was messing with her. Killian, who had only known her for a couple weeks, had so much faith in her, encouraged her, and made her laugh. She liked being around the guy, and it seemed like he was her biggest supporter.

It confused her, since Walsh was supposed to have that role. He had known her on a more intimate level for the past year, and so he knew Emma better than anyone. Everything he says always means so much to her, and when he said he didn't believe she was smart enough to be in Mr. Spencer's class, her confidence was shot.

Then, why did Killian's words mean so much to her?

"Whoa! It's already 4:30. I need to go teach the preschoolers," Killian said, shaking Emma away from her thoughts.

"Oh, sorry for keeping you so long. What age do you teach tonight?" she asked, curious to know more about her tutor.

"Wednesdays are the five-year-olds. They've actually been my favorite class so far." Killian packed up his bag. "I'm sorry I can't stay longer, but I have to get to the community center. If you need anything with the homework tonight, text me. I'll be free after 7:00 to help. Bye, Swan." Killian waved as he exited the classroom, leaving Emma alone with her thoughts.

She packed up her own bag, much slower than he had, and walked back out to her locker to go home for the night.


	9. Chapter 9

Killian was the captain of the swim team for a reason. For the past three years, he was the star swimmer – always winning his races. He had loved swimming since he was a child, and once he started to compete, he found he was a natural at it. He started training and before he knew it, Killian was getting the medals and trophies that currently decorated his room.

But, he hadn't been swimming well lately. He knew why – Victor was right when he said with everything he did, things were going to start falling through the cracks. It didn't help that Emma was constantly on his mind. Between the jobs and school and activities, swimming for _himself_ had been put on the back burner, and now with the meet against Nottingham High School a half hour away, he was starting to get nervous.

"Ready?" Phillip asked. He was already in his bodysuit and swim cap, his goggles hanging around his neck like a necklace.

"Yeah," Killian turned back to his locker, pulling out his own cap and goggles. He swallowed as he thought of the other team in the other locker room, and their star swimmer, Greg Mendell. Greg was pretty good, always just a second or two behind Killian, and was Killian's biggest competition. "Maybe…"

"Well, there can't be a maybe. We need to get to the pool and start warming up."

Killian nodded and followed Phillip through the locker room into the big arena. Killian body instantly relaxed, although the knot in the pit of his stomach kept tight. He walked to the benches and began stretching before the meet began.

Warm ups were a blur, and before he knew what was happening, the 100-meter breaststroke was called to the pool. Killian stood up on shaky legs and walked to the diving board marked "3". He got on, got in position, and counted to three.

The "go" signal blared across the speakers, and Killian flew off the diving board. As he hit the water, everything became second nature. His arms moved in the water in a way that perfectly matched his kicking feet, propelling him across the pool. He took deep breaths, like he was supposed to, and the laps seemed small.

When his hand hit the edge of the pool, he looked up at the timer. 1:24:19 was blinking in the third spot – the _only_ one blinking. He smiled and pulled his arm down in a fist as he watched other times pop up.

Greg Mendell was second with 1:24:26. Killian knew that it was barely a win for him, and as he pulled himself out of the water and walked back to his bench, he mentally kicked himself. He could have easily beaten Greg by a full second if he had his head in the game, not seven milliseconds. He shook his head and stared down at his feet. He vowed that the 200-meter butterfly would go better than that race.

It seemed like his breathing barely slowed when he was called for his next race. He made his way back to the "3" diving board and stood upon it. His hands gripped the bottom as he counted to three, again, and when the buzzer rang, he dove back into the water.

This was always his toughest race. It was the hardest type of stroke for him, and it was much longer than the other ones. To top it off, it was Greg's best race, even if Killian typically beat him. He wasn't so sure this was going to be the case this time, with his game being so off.

Killian was completely out of breath as he did the last stroke to the wall, and when he looked up, he grinned. Once again, he had pulled out a win, with a big 2:27:42 flashing.

His heart sank, though, as he saw the time of Greg in row seven – 2:27:45. Greg was always close, but he'd never been _that_ close. Killian pushed himself out of the pool again, his body so tired he was barely able to walk over to the bench.

"You okay?" Phillip whispered. "You seem exhausted."

Killian nodded, breathing heavily. "I'm just racing harder than I've been practicing, that's all."

"Well, it's good to see the old Killian Jones is back. You should have seen Greg's fa—"

Killian turned towards his head. "Honestly, Phil, I really don't care right now. My body feels like it's going to die and I _still_ have the fricken 100-meter freestyle I have to race in five minutes."

Phillip held his hands up in defense. "Okay, _Killian_. Sor-ry." Phillip stood up and walked over to the pool, his 200-meter freestyle race about to start.

Killian would have felt bad if his body hadn't hurt so badly. He held his side and leaned forward, closing his eyes and telling himself to just take deep breaths. He didn't even watch the race in the pool – didn't even cheer on his best friend. All he could concentrate on is how he was going to get through this last race.

Phillip won his race, and when he got back to the bench, panting, Killian held out his hand for him to clap. "Way to go, man."

Phillip tapped his hand, but didn't respond, clearly upset from Killian's random outburst from before. Killian shook his head to get all his thoughts out of his brain as he stood up to do his final race. As he walked, he looked up in the stands and saw his brother and father sitting there. Liam yelled in support while his dad nodded to him, an unclear expression upon his face. Killian waved as he went onto the diving board for his final race.

He barely got a chance to count to three when the buzzer rang, and he dove into the pool much less gracefully than he was capable of. As he swam, he felt his body getting more and more tired, but he pushed through the pain. He needed to win – he was _captain, _he was _Killian-freaking-Jones_. Second place was not an option for him. What would it say if he lost?

As he was coming back to on the last lap, he could see the end in sight. Usually, that would make him go faster, like the final push to win.

This time, it slowed him down.

It was a miracle he won. He was nearly eight seconds slower than he had ever done this race, but somehow, so was Greg. Killian's mood plummeted as he found out how poorly he did that day, despite winning all his races.

He knew he had to start focusing more on swimming if he had any chance of going to state, let alone nationals. He had gone to state last year and missed going further by 17 milliseconds. He was _not_ going to miss it his senior year.

After all the races were done, Killian posed for a picture with his team, _not_ smiling despite the three gold medals around his neck, and left for the locker room without saying a word to anyone.

It was only when Phillip tapped his shoulder in the locker room that he turned around. "So, I was thinking because this meet was so successful, everyone can go out to Granny's tomorrow."

"I did so badly. What's there to celebrate?"

"Well, perhaps the fact that _you're_ the only one on the team that won gold medals in all their races is a good reason to celebrate?"

Killian grabbed his backpack and duffel bag. "I _can't_, anyway. I have to tutor and then teach swimming. Why can't you guys understand that I have too much going on?" His bad mood clearly didn't end after the meet.

"We'll go out after. We miss you, Kill, and what better way to hang out again than to celebrate our successful meet?"

Killian sighed before agreeing, leaving the locker room to give his father and brother a quick goodbye so he could make it to his job on time.

His life was way too busy, and Victor's words kept haunting him. Maybe a night out with his friends is just what he needed.

* * *

Ruby stood right by her locker after school on Thursday. "Do you want to sleepover tomorrow night?" Ruby asked, using her puppy eyes on Emma. "You and I haven't had a sleepover in forever!"

Ruby and Emma's definition of forever was clearly different. It had only been a few weeks at most, but a girl's night did sound fun. "Sure. I'll have to ask Marian and Robin, but that sounds great! What about Mary Margaret?"

Ruby nodded her head. "She says she has a hot date with David, but that she'll be able to come over after." Emma rolled her eyes at the words, _"hot date"_, knowing that Mary Margaret would _never_ use that term.

Since the two hadn't hung out alone in such a long time, Ruby begged Emma to study together after school. But, as soon as the next words came out of her mouth, Emma realized there had been an ulterior motive. "So? What happened with the whole picture fiasco?"

"I don't really want to talk about it," Emma sighed as they walked to her friend's car.

Ruby shook her head in disappointment. "_That_ bad, huh?"

Emma chanced a glance at her friend when she got in the car. "It ended up not being terrible. Killian actually made a joke about it and made me forget the whole thing. And, at our tutoring session, he was so sweet." Emma took out her phone to text Marian that she was going over to Ruby's for a while.

"What did he say that was so funny?" Ruby asked.

"Well, it wasn't so much as something he said as what he did. He sent me a picture of him asking if I approved of his outfit, and then we just kind of talked for the rest of the night."

Ruby pulled off to the side and snatched Emma's phone out of her hand. "I _need_ to see this picture."

"Ruby!" Emma said, trying to grab it back, unsuccessfully.

Ruby found the picture and her eyes opened wide. "Whoa! Emma, why didn't you tell me he was so _hot_?"

Emma finally got it back. "I never noticed," Emma lied, easily.

"Why do you have two pictures of his feet?"

Emma started to squirm in her seat. "I joked that I couldn't approve of his outfit because his socks didn't match…"

"So, he changed his socks, _twice_, at night, _before he was going to bed_, just to have the right color? Do I have that right?"

"I mean, I don't know. He was just trying to be funny…"

Ruby gave her a careful look before pulling back out into the street.

Ruby was silent for the rest of the car ride – the first time for as long as Emma can remember. Emma tried filling the awkward silence with the radio, but something was clearly on Ruby's mind.

Once they pulled into Ruby's driveway, the two went up to Ruby's room. They each got out their own homework, and Ruby wasn't able to keep inside what was on her mind.

"What's going on with you and Walsh?" she asked.

"Nothing!" Emma said quickly, not wanting to discuss it. It always brought a lump to her throat when her mind drifted to their dinner, so ignoring her thoughts about Walsh was easier.

"It's me. I won't tell _anyone_, Emma." Ruby placed her pencil down and went over to her bed, lying on her stomach on top of the covers, and holding her head upon her hands.

Emma cocked her head. "I _thought_ we were supposed to be doing homework."

"And _I_ thought you would tell me your problems. That's what friends do!" Ruby batted her eyes. "I could probably help."

Emma groaned. "You know how I'm trying to get back into Mr. Spencer's math class? Well, Walsh said that I'm not smart enough to be in the class."

Ruby's eyes opened wide. "He _said_ that?"

"Not in those words, but it's what he was implying." Emma looked down at her paper. "He says that I shouldn't try to get back into that class because I'll just fail again."

Ruby stood up and walked over to Emma, placing her hand on her shoulder and giving it a slight squeeze. "I'm sorry, Emma. He shouldn't have ever said that."

Emma patted her hand. "It's okay. Killian said that he thinks I'll be able to get back in the class after this trimester, and then he said he'd still tutor me even when I go back." Ruby stilled by Emma before turning around and going back to her bed, pursing her lips before starting her homework. "Okay, what is up with you?"

"I don't know what you mean," she replied, simply.

"Earlier in the car, when we were talking about Killian, you gave me a look and just stopped talking, and now you did it again. And, you never _don't_ have something to say."

Ruby looked at Emma before setting down her pen. "Do you think Killian likes you?"

Emma was taken aback. "What? No! Why would you even think that?"

Ruby shrugged as she stared straight into Emma's eyes, making her a little uncomfortable. "Well, I mean, he's gave you that extra tutoring lessons, he's sent you those pictures, _and_ he's offering to tutor you when you get back into Mr. Spencer's class. I have a hard time believing he's just being nice…"

"That's absolutely ridiculous! He has a girlfriend," Emma threw her arms up to enhance her point. "Can't a guy just be nice?"

Ruby shrugged her shoulders again. "I don't know, I'm just saying, don't you think he's being a little _too_ nice?"

Emma slammed her textbook shut. "Ruby, he's a nice guy, and he's funny. There's really nothing else to it."

"Alright, alright! I believe you," Ruby whined, turning to her own homework. "This is why I didn't want to tell you what I was thinking. I didn't want to fight."

"Well, if dating someone wasn't the first thing you ever thought about, then I wouldn't be mad! Just because we get along and he's kind doesn't mean that there's anything more to our relationship!"

"_Our_ relationship? I was just talking about you tutor, Em. I didn't say anything about _you_."

Emma opened her mouth, trying to think of a way to respond, but instead opened her notebook. "I need to do this. My essay's due tomorrow." Her tone was defeated and she didn't want to look at Ruby.

They started to do homework, but she couldn't concentrate. Her mind was analyzing everything Ruby had said. Could Killian _like_ her? No, it wasn't possible. He had a girlfriend. She saw the pictures of Aurora and him. He's just a nice and funny guy, that's all. There _are_ people out there who are like that.

Besides, it doesn't even matter if Killian likes her. She's with Walsh. Even if Walsh was being stupid right now, they've been dating for a _year_. There's really no point in trying to decide if Killian had a crush on her or not. It really didn't matter.

Killian's just a nice and funny guy.

* * *

"How've you been since Wednesday?" Emma asked as she walked into Mr. Spencer's classroom the next day.

"Okay. I had a swim meet yesterday." Killian watched Emma take her seat across from him.

"Oh! How'd you do?" Emma tossed her golden hair over her shoulder.

Killian gritted his teeth at the memory of how terribly he swam compared to usual. "I won all three of my races."

"Congratulations!" Emma said, cheerfully. She smiled, reminding Killian of his promise to make her smile more. It was such a beautiful sight that he couldn't help but smile back.

"Thanks. I haven't gotten to swim for myself as much lately, so I didn't do as well as I could have. There was this kid – Greg Mendell – from Nottingham High School that was on my tail the whole time. Somehow, I was able to pull out the win."

"Winning each race doesn't sound bad to me," Emma pointed out. "Especially if you say you haven't gotten to practice much lately."

"My friends and I are going to celebrate at Granny's tonight, if you want to come." Killian blurted without thinking. "You know, if you're not busy. I know it's short notice, but the more the merrier, right?"

Emma tilted her head up while she studied him, and Killian couldn't help but feel self-conscious. He thought he was just being nice, but what if Emma didn't want to hang out with him? There was really no reason for her to want to be around him other than tutoring. Maybe it had been a bad idea to invite her.

"Can my friend Ruby come along? We were planning to hang out at her house, but Granny's sounds more fun." Emma looked nervous with her response.

Killian felt like he was floating on air. "Like I said, the more the merrier. Are you ready to learn about imaginary numbers?"


	10. Chapter 10

"So, why are we going to Granny's with your tutor and his friends again?" Ruby asked as she drove to the restaurant with Emma in the passenger seat.

"Killian won his races at his swim meet yesterday and they're all going out to celebrate. He invited me along," Emma said, nonchalantly, as if she didn't go home after their tutoring lesson and put on a better outfit. "I asked if you could come along, too."

"Yeah, I get that. I meant _why_ are we going?"

Emma crossed her arms. "Fine. I want you to meet him so you'll stop bugging me about that whole "_he likes you_" thing you were talking about yesterday."

"Ah, so the real reason comes out." Ruby took the final turn until they were parked outside of Granny's. "And I wasn't bugging, just making an observation."

"Whatever." Emma unbuckled herself from the seat and got out of the car, crossing in front of it until Emma and Ruby were standing side by side. "Ready to go meet my tutor and his friends?"

"Are _you_?" Ruby asked, making Emma roll her eyes and push her towards the door.

* * *

"I'm sorry about yesterday, Phil. I don't know why I was in such a bad mood." Killian apologized as they walked into Granny's. "Well, I _do_, but I shouldn't have snapped at you."

"Thanks, man." Phillip said as the hostess asked how many. "Five."

"Actually, seven," Killian interrupted, and Phillip gave him a weird look.

After the hostess sat the two down, Phillip turned to Killian. "You, me, Victor, Aurora and Kathryn make five. Who else did you invite?" Phillip asked.

"I just asked Emma if she wanted to come today, but she was already hanging out with one of her friends and asked if she could bring her along." Killian opened up his menu to avoid his friend's gaze. "No big deal."

"It sounds like a big deal to me! You guys are hanging out _outside_ of your tutoring sessions?"

Killian shrugged it off. "It's not like it's one-on-one. There's a big group of people here. Besides, I just want to get to know her. Nothing else."

"Okay…" Phillip said, giving his friend a sideways glace before turning to his own menu.

Victor and Kathryn came after, but when they tried to sit down, Killian nearly shouted, "No! Not there!"

Victor gave him a weird look. "Why?"

"He invited the girl he tutors and I'm guessing he wants to sit by her," Phillip turned the page in his menu.

"Well, she's not going to know anyone else here. Just… Sit down over there," Killian gestured to the other side of the table. Kathryn left an empty seat beside Phillip for Aurora, and Victor sat next to her, leaving two empty seats for Emma and her friend.

The waitress came around with waters for the table and asked for everyone's drink order. Just as she left, the door to the restaurant opened, and Emma came through the door with her brown-haired friend.

Killian didn't even notice the other girl. He only saw Emma and her eyes scanning across the restaurant until she met Killian's. He waved once she found them, causing the two to start walking over. His heart started to pound and his stomach had butterflies until she got to the table.

"Hey, Killian," Emma said, tucking a strand of golden hair behind her ear.

Killian smiled at her, and noticed Emma's shoulders relax a little. "Hi, Swan," he pointed to the seat next to him, which she took, and her friend sat next to her, Victor on the other side. "I'm glad you could make it."

"Yeah, me too," Emma pointed to the girl next to her. "This is Ruby." Her voice was shy – much like it had been on the first day they met. Ruby waved her hand to the table.

"This is Phillip," Killian started, and Emma made a nodding motion to him. "And that's Kathryn, and Victor's back there by Ruby." Killian named off the gang before turning back to Emma.

Ruby apparently did not have the same sense of shyness as Emma. "Okay, I have to ask, since Emma is too scared. Where are you from?"

Emma slapped the back of her hand against Ruby's shoulder. "Ruby!"

Killian smiled at the realization that Emma had talked to her friends about him. He wasn't even aware that Emma never asked, but clearly she noticed if she told her friend about it. "I grew up in Ireland and moved here with my dad and brother the summer before ninth grade." He gave Emma a smirk as she turned red.

Ruby seemed to have lost interest in the knowing more about Killian's accent because she pointed to Kathryn. "Weren't you in my homeroom freshman year?"

Kathryn tilted her head. "Oh, yeah! Good to see you again," she said politely.

That end of the table went into an easy conversation, and, since Ruby was quite the social butterfly, there wasn't a moment of silence. She was mostly talking to Victor, and he was chatting right back, along with Kathryn, leaving Emma, Phillip, and Killian to talk.

"How's the tutoring going?" Phillip asked the two.

Emma and Killian looked at each other for a second before Emma answered. "I mean, I still have a lot to go, but he's already been a big help. I can't thank him enough for all he's done so far."

Killian waved his hand. "That's what I'm here for. I think she just needs a little more confidence and then she'll be back on her game."

Emma smiled when the bell signifying someone coming into the restaurant rang. In came Aurora, and Killian saw Emma plaster a smile on her face. "Oh, hey Aurora."

"Emma! What are you doing here?" Aurora came up right to the edge of the table, standing in between Emma and Killian.

"Uh, Killian invited me."

"Oh, well glad you could make it," she said.

Emma seemed uncomfortable, her eyes looking around the table. "Did you want to sit here? There's that open spot next to Phillip I could take…"

Killian's face morphed into confusion and his body sank, thinking that Emma didn't want to sit by him. But, Aurora quickly shook her head. "Oh, no. I can sit there."

She smiled as she went around the table and took the spot next to Phillip. She then leaned over and gave Phillip a quick kiss before turning to her menu. "Sorry I'm late."

Emma looked between Phillip and Aurora smiling at each other. She turned back to Killian. "Are they…?" She pointed her fingers between his friend and his girlfriend.

"Yeah. They've been dating since sophomore year. They're actually pretty annoying…" Killian said, giving Phillip a reason to punch him. "Hey!"

"So how do you know my girlfriend?" Phillip asked, placing his arm around Aurora's chair. They were actually a pretty perfect couple. They met in 10th grade and hit it off right away. Killian remembers the way Phillip used to gush over Aurora when they were at swim practices, giving him a chance to tease his friend.

"She's actually my neighbor," Emma said.

"How's Roland doing?" Aurora asked. "He was so big last time I saw him!"

Emma nodded. "He really is. He just turned five a couple months ago and suddenly acts like he's all grown up. It's actually kind of cute."

"Your brother's five?" Killian turned to Emma, and she nodded. "He should come to my Wednesday swimming class. I think he'd have a lot of fun."

Emma thought about it for a second. "He loves coming to open swim on the weekends. Maybe swim lessons could be good for him." She then turned back to Aurora, and they struck up this nonsense conversation about some block party and their creepy old neighbor, Mr. Gold and his much-too-young wife, Lacey.

This was so easy. Emma and Ruby were fitting right in with his group. The awkward shy phase was over, and they all seemed to have embraced each other. It was nice.

He shook his head, frowning slightly as he took a sip of his Cherry Coke. The more he watched Emma laugh and chat with his friends, the more disappointed he became that this wasn't real. This was fake. This was just Emma being nice. She wasn't part of his group.

Sometimes, when they were together, he forgot Emma was already in a relationship. He thought that maybe, just maybe, they could be together. His heart dropped at the thought that Walsh was her boyfriend, and that she was really here with him just as friends.

He wasn't really a part of her life. He was her tutor. He was there to help her pass math.

Emma looked down at her watch. "Wow, sorry guys, but Ruby and I have to meet up with our friend Mary Margaret."

Ruby and Emma stood up and started putting on their fall jackets and picking up their purses. "This was fun. You guys should let us know when you're going to do this again." Ruby smiled and winked at Victor, causing Emma to roll her eyes.

Emma then turned to Killian. "Bye, Killian. I guess I'll see you Wednesday for our next session," she gave a little wave.

"Bye, Swan." Killian saw a hint of a grin flash across her face, giving him the confidence to have the last word. "Text me if you're confused on something… Or if you need your outfit approved."

Emma turned completely red, and Ruby laughed out loud. "He's hilarious. I like him," Ruby said to Emma as they turned around, waving and leaving the restaurant.

Killian stared out the door they had just left when Phillip's voice brought him out of a trance. "She seems nice."

"She is." Killian was still looking at where the two friends had just exited, thinking about the dinner they just had together.

"I can see why you _like_ her," Victor said as he and Kathryn stood up to come closer to the other three. Killian suddenly focused on his friends.

"What? What are you talking about?"

Kathryn rolled her eyes. "Killian, you haven't complained _once _about tutoring since you started, _and_ you offered to do an extra session last weekend. Plus, you were totally flirting with her! Do you even realize how you look at her?"

Killian scoffed at her comment. "Oh, please. I flirt with everyone. And I'm just trying to be nice! Besides, she's dating Walsh."

"_That_ asshole?" Phillip looked disgusted. Aurora gave him a little slap in the chest, but Phillip didn't seem to notice. "How could she be with him? She's so sweet and… he's a complete tool!"

Aurora ignored her boyfriend's comment, turning to Killian. "Why would you like someone who already has a boyfriend, and that boyfriend is your enemy?"

"Enemy's a little too strong…" Killian started stirring his Cherry Coke. "More like, a foe."

Victor laughed out loud. "Seriously, Kill? _That's_ the part of the sentence you focused on? You aren't even denying that you like her!"

"Sod off."

Kathryn cut in. "Seriously, you've hated the guy for years! How do you think he'd act if he knew you were pining after his girlfriend?"

Killian continued to stare at his drink. "I'm not pining after his girlfriend! I'm just her tutor. If he doesn't like it, he should have tutored her himself!" Killian finally looked up at his friends, hating that he felt like the center of attention. "Look, I didn't come out or invite Emma to talk about them. I just wanted to have a fun time with my friends that I haven't hung out with in a long while. Can we drop it?"

"Can I say one more thing?" Aurora asked, causing Killian to groan but nod. "Despite having a boyfriend, I think she might _like_ you, too."

* * *

Mary Margaret was already waiting in the driveway when Ruby and Emma pulled up. The three walked into Ruby's house and hightailed it to the basement right away.

"Oh my gosh, Mary Margaret, you should have been there. Killian is sooooo funny!" Ruby was animatedly gesturing in the air. "And he is totally hot."

Mary Margaret smiled. "I wish I could have come, too."

"_And_ his friends were so nice. This girl – Kathryn – was in my homeroom a few years ago, and she was totally shy and reserved in there, but super sweet when she's with people she feels comfortable around." Ruby continued spilling details of their dinner when Emma's mind drifted away.

So, Aurora wasn't Killian's girlfriend. She saw the picture of them and had just assumed, even if there hadn't really been a reason to. Did that mean he was available? And if he is available, is he _really_ interested in her?

Well, it didn't matter either way. She was with Walsh.

But for some reason, it did matter. It was easier for Killian to be her tutor when she thought he was dating. Now, she knows he is single. What if Ruby was right when she said Killian had a crush on her?

_Well, that's his problem, not mine._ Emma thought. She was just going to be there to be tutored. If he does have a crush on her, that's something he has to deal with, not her. She had a boyfriend. She doesn't need to worry about _his_ crush.

Then, why did she?

Her phone buzzed in her hand and saw she had a message from Walsh.

**_ Miss you tonight, babe. Want to go to the movies tomorrow?_**

Emma was still upset with Walsh. He called her dumb. He called her a slut. Maybe not in those exact words, but that's what he said.

_I can't. I'm taking Roland to the pool tomorrow with Marian._

Emma looked up to see Ruby still telling Mary Margaret about dinner with Killian's friends. She had absolutely no clue what they had been talking about for the last few minutes, causing Emma to just nod along with whatever Ruby was saying. Her hand buzzed again, and the words started up a heated conversation.

**_ The WHOLE day? Come on, Em. I know you're still mad  
about dinner the other night, but it's already been three  
days. Can't we just move on?_**

_ You still don't get it, Walsh! I'm not being dramatic. It was such  
an embarrassing thing for me, and you didn't even care! All you  
cared about was that my tutor had a stupid picture of me on his  
phone. And it really hurts to think you don't think I'm smart._

**_ It's just… Killian Jones really bothers me, okay? He's cocky and  
selfish and I don't want you to be around him. You're too kind to  
be around someone like that._**

_ I don't have a CHOICE! He's my tutor, Walsh! _

**_ I just want you away from him – how about I'll be your tutor?_**

_ You can't be my tutor. Last time we tried, we just ended up making  
out for a half hour, remember? I really need to do well, and Killian  
has already been helping, a lot._

**_ Can we at least get coffee tomorrow?_**

"Whoa! What's going on over there, Emma?" Ruby asked, turning towards her friend. Emma looked up from her phone with a pout to see her two best friends looking at her with curious faces.

"It's just Walsh. He wants to hang out tomorrow, but I don't know if I want to." Emma sank in the couch. "He doesn't like Killian and is making a big deal that he's my tutor, not that I had any choice of the matter."

"He's probably just jealous," Mary Margaret said.

Emma stared at her friend. "Why would you say that?"

"Well, from what I've gotten from the both of you, he's very, _very_ smart, the star swimmer, really funny, sweet, and attractive. And this apparently flawless boy gets to tutor you for an hour every Wednesday and Friday, with nobody else around and no interruptions whatsoever. I know I'd be jealous if a girl like that was around David."

"Do you really think so? Because he seemed to be indifferent towards me having a tutor until I told him that it was Killian. That's when everything went to hell," Emma explained.

"Maybe there's something that went on before with the two of them, but I can't imagine Killian being the perfect boy helps."

Emma felt her phone buzz again. When she looked down, she was surprised to see it was a text from Killian, not Walsh.

**_ Thanks for coming out to celebrate with us tonight. I hope  
you and Ruby had a fun time._**

Emma plastered on a fake smile for her friends, one that they both probably saw right through. "I don't want to think about Walsh or Killian or David or anyone. Let's just have this overdue girl's night."

With that, Ruby left to go make some popcorn while Mary Margaret went to change into her pajamas.

Emma turned back down to the two texts that were waiting for a response. She started with Walsh:

_ I'm too busy this weekend. Maybe we can squeeze in a Skype call  
Sunday morning. I'll see you Monday._

And continued with Killian:

_ I promise we had fun. I'm stopping by the pool tomorrow with my  
brother. Maybe I'll see you there._

Emma sent a quick message to Marian saying her phone was dying (even if it wasn't) and that she should call Ruby's house if she needed to talk to her. Then, Emma powered off the phone so she wouldn't get any more texts from her boyfriend or her tutor.


	11. Chapter 11

Killian had just gotten home and was talking with Liam about their days when the familiar beep signifying a text went off on his phone. It was a message from Emma saying that she had fun and was stopping by the pool tomorrow. He couldn't help the grin that spread across his face, and was only brought back into the conversation when Liam cleared his throat.

"Sorry, Liam. What did you say?" Killian shook his head, as if erasing something from an etch-a-sketch, and turned all of his attention back to his brother.

"I was talking about one of my navy buddies, but whatever has got that smile on your face is something I'd much rather talk about." Liam leaned back in his chair. "Who've you been texting?"

"It's nobody," Killian lied, causing Liam to roll his eyes.

"So, it's a girl," Liam said, teasing his little brother. "Who is she?"

Killian was going to deny it again before sinking in his chair. Liam would keep bothering him until he told him, so Killian finally gave in. "It's the girl I tutor. Her name's Emma."

"Emma," Liam repeated. "And I assume you like this girl?"

Killian shrugged, trying to act as nonchalant as possible. "I mean, I wouldn't say she's _unattractive_…"

Liam patted his brother's back. "Well, go for it, then! You're a handsome lad. I'm sure she'd be interested."

"It's more _complex_ than just going for it. She has a boyfriend, and her boyfriend is one of my least favorite people in the world."

Killian thought that would have been enough of an excuse for anyone else, but Liam gestured with his hand. "Please continue."

Killian groaned before picking up where he left off. "_Plus,_ I don't even have time to think about having a girlfriend in general. Don't you remember my swim meet yesterday? I did terribly because I haven't been practicing as much as I should. Can you imagine if I added in a girlfriend to my three jobs, school, and extracurriculars?" Killian pouted, thinking about how stressful his life had become just over a couple of weeks.

"Killian, you _won _all of your races. That doesn't sound terrible to me."

"I didn't win by much, and if things keep going in this direction, I'm going to lose going to state, _again_. I'm not going to jeopardize that just to go after a girl who already has a boyfriend." Killian looked back down at his phone, a sadness overcoming his heart. "It's just a crush, anyway. I'm always around the same eight girls in my classes, and she's just something new."

"Are you done with your excuses?" Liam asked.

"They're not excuses, they're facts!

Killian was about to stand up when he felt his brother stop him. "Killian, listen to me," he pleaded, and Killian turned around to look at him. "Why are you giving up so easily? I've never seen you step down from a challenge."

"I'm not you, Liam. I can't just make any girl fall in love with me by smiling at them." Killian looked at his brother before shaking his head. "This isn't some math problem or swim meet and I just have to work harder to achieve the goal. It's an infatuation that will roll over soon enough."

"You're right. You're _not_ me. You're _better_ than me. You have such a bright future, such a great personality. I just have a hard time believing that you couldn't get this girl to fall for you."

Killian groaned at his comment. "I'm going to Harvard in the fall, and she's just _hoping_ to get into the University of Maine, and that's if I can get her grade up. Those schools aren't even in the same state! I _literally_ have a crush on I girl I won't see ever again after August. I'd only be taking her away from her life for a few months. Then I'll go and meet a college girl and Emma will be the last thing on my mind."

"Or she could still be the _only_ thing on your mind, and the college women would just be a distraction. Long distance relationships work!"

"Yeah, for couples like her and Walsh that will have dated for two years in high school. What's going to happen when we're tempted by others and can't easily see one another? And all of this is hypothetical! I have no clue how she feels about me." Killian started rubbing the screen on his iPhone and frowned. "It's better this way."

"Being upset about a girl doesn't seem _"better this way"_. To me, it seems like you just aren't willing to go for it, and a man unwilling to fight for what he wants gets what he deserves."

"But…"

"Listen, look what happened when you thought you got accepted to Harvard and didn't think you could go because of money. What did you do? You fought back! You got some jobs and started saving. Why is this any different?"

Killian became defeated after hearing his brother's words. "Because being with Emma is not something I'm willing to fight for, and so this is exactly what I deserve." Killian stood up, shaking his head no at his brother, finally deciding to end this conversation. "Good talking to you, but I have to get to bed because I have to get to work early in the morning."

Liam reached over and tugged on his hand. "Killian…"

"Goodnight, brother." He ripped his hand from Liam's grip and walked up to his room, shutting the door behind him and falling onto the bed.

Emma Swan wasn't a challenge he just stepped down from. It was useless to pursue a girl who had a long-term boyfriend. It's merely a crush that he just has to work through, nothing more. It didn't matter what his brother or his friends said – he is just her tutor. He was being paid to be around her, and she was forced to come.

He looked down at his phone again to see her text. Well, at least he'll see her for a little bit tomorrow morning, and maybe he could even convince her to do another session on Sunday.

It was then when he realized that he _was_ fighting for her, without even knowing it. Inviting her out with his friends and plotting extra tutoring sessions? That's not something one does unless they're fighting for another person.

Killian placed his phone down on his nightstand and shifted onto his back, pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes until all he saw was black.

He was thoroughly and utterly screwed.

* * *

After Mary Margaret dropped her back home, Emma casually walked into the kitchen on Saturday morning to find Marian making breakfast and Robin reading something on his computer. "Are you taking Roland to the pool this morning?" she asked.

"Yeah. We're leaving at 9:30. Did you want to join us?" Marian offered as she started buttering two pieces of toast before turning to Emma.

"Sure," Emma said, raising her shoulders slightly and attempting to brush it off as anything other than she had nothing better to do.

Robin looked up from his computer "Don't you want to hang out with Walsh or your friends? It's the first weekend you're not grounded."

Emma didn't really want to talk about her love life with her foster parents. It was always an awkward subject for her, unless it was good news, but Robin gave her a look that said he wouldn't stop pursuing the topic unless she talked. "I was just with the girls last night, and I realized I missed hanging out with you guys after last weekend."

Marian gave her a curious glance, and Emma saw her mind ticking. "Why are you avoiding Walsh? You've been acting odd about him ever since your anniversary dinner."

Emma sat in an empty chair and crossed her arms, a frown on his face. "It's complicated. I don't really want to talk about it."

Marian and Robin seemed to respect what she said because they both went back to doing what they were doing before Emma came in. Emma sat in her chair, twirling her thumbs, when she asked, as blasé as possible, "Don't you think Roland should sign up for swimming lessons?"

Marian paused cutting some fruit to turn to Emma. "He goes to the pool nearly every Saturday morning and he hasn't had a problem. Why do you ask?"

"Oh, I've just been thinking how, being shuffled from foster home to foster home, I've never learned how to swim. I think it might be smart to get Roland in some swimming lessons before he ends up like me."

Marian began placing all the cooked food onto a plate. "I suppose that it could be a good idea. Do you know even know when lessons are?"

"There's a five-year-old class on Wednesdays at 5:30 at the community center." Emma replied, a little too quickly and a little too rehearsed. "It would be perfect for Roland, don't you think?" she added.

Marian frowned. "I don't think we'd be able to get him there every week, and Robin has been working so late on Wednesdays lately, and I can't guarantee I'm available because of my own schedule."

"I could bring him?" Emma said, a little too quickly. "You know, on the days neither of you could make it."

Marian turned to look at Emma. "I couldn't ask you to do that. You already have your tutoring sessions on Wednesday afternoons. How would you have time to take Roland to swim practice, too, if you have your own homework to do?"

Emma shifted in her chair, carefully thinking her answer. "I wouldn't swim with the class. I could just bring my homework along and do it while he's in class."

Marian thought about it for a second. "That's a really big commitment, Emma, and I don't know why you'd even want to."

Emma shrugged and said, "Like I said. I never learned, and I don't want Roland to have the same disadvantage as I did."

Marian turned to her husband. "What do you think? I agree with Emma that it might be good for him."

"I think so, too. We'll have to look into it and see if he could even get into the class," Robin said as he turned back to his computer.

Emma smiled before turning to exit the kitchen. "I'm going to unpack my bag before breakfast. I'll see you in a little bit."

It had been an impulse to ask Marian and Robin if Roland wants swim lessons, and she really didn't known why she did it, anyway. It was probably because Killian had just mentioned something last night, and it was completely true that she had never learned herself.

It was definitely _not_ because she was weirdly intrigued by her tutor, wanting to anything and everything to get to know him more.

* * *

Killian waited and waited for Emma to come to the pool. Open swim began at 8:00 and ended at 3:30, so he knew that it could be a long while before she actually strolled in with her brother and foster mother.

It was at 9:40 when Emma strolled in, and Killian sat up higher in his chair. He smiled at her when she looked in his direction. She waved and gave a small smile back. Her family found two empty chairs across from him, and the little boy was eager to get in the water because he threw his shirt on the ground and jumped in right away, causing the water to splash Emma.

After the family got settled, Emma said something to the older woman and started walking around the perimeter of the pool until she was right next to his chair. "Hey, Killian," she said, running her hand through her hair.

"Hey, Swan. If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were stalking me," Killian joked, and Emma stood still. If he didn't know better, he would have thought that she blushed at his comment, but instead she just shrugged.

"Well, it's a good thing you know better, then, isn't it?" Emma smiled as she turned back to the pool, her eyesight on Roland splashing around. "So, I talked to my parents about signing up for swimming lessons, and they said they're looking into it. Would your Wednesday class even have enough room for him?"

Her green eyes turned back to him, and Killian knew that he would kick out the whole class if it meant Emma's brother could come. "I believe we have an open spot. I'd have to talk to my director, but I don't think it should be a problem. Just have your mom call and sign him up."

Killian suddenly saw two kids arguing in the pool. He blew his whistle. "No fighting," he yelled, and the two boys turned towards him before swimming in the opposite direction.

"You'll find any reason to use that thing, won't you?" she teased, and Killian dismissed her comment.

"If I have it, might as well use it."

The two went into a comfortable silence as Killian watched over the pool. "Thanks again for coming last night. Everyone really liked you two."

"It seemed like Ruby certainly liked Victor," Emma joked, causing Killian to laugh.

"She was all he could talk about for the rest of the night!" he replied, knowing that the other thing Victor insisted on talking about was Killian's crush on Emma.

"I'm sure she'll keep bugging me until we all hang out again."

Killian turned towards Emma, his heart beating fast because the opportunity finally arrived. "Well, would you like to have a study group? You, Victor, Ruby, and me? We could go over your material from last week, and watch as the two lovebirds flirt all night."

Emma nodded with excitement. "Oh, god, it'll be fun to see Ruby try to study with Victor right next to her!"

"Victor's not going to be any better!" Killian replied, his body firing up because this could actually be happening.

"Does 5:00 at the library sound good? We could get one of those study rooms like last weekend and then we'll be able to talk." Emma suggested, and Killian couldn't quite tell if there was a hint of eagerness in her voice.

"Sounds great. I'll text Victor and you text Ruby and we'll see you then."

"Awesome," Emma said as she pointed to her family. "I should probably be getting back. See you tomorrow."

"Bye, Swan."

He waved, and Emma started to run back to her side of the pool.

_"Once a cocky bastard, always a cocky bastard"_, Killian thought to himself as he blew his whistle and yelled, "No running!" to Emma.

Emma stopped in her place and turned towards Killian, shaking her head at him. Even from the far distance, he could see her roll her eyes.

Yes, he_ would_ find any excuse to use his whistle.

* * *

**_Take some time to review! I love getting feedback!_**


	12. Chapter 12

Emma woke up with a smile on her face. Ruby had agreed to the study date that night without any begging from Emma, nor any teasing about Killian having a crush on her. Ruby was too nervous about what she was going to wear and how they're going to sit at the table to care about Emma and Killian, which was exactly what Emma was hoping for.

She took out her phone and checked her texts, noticing the top one was from Walsh.

**_ Can we still Skype this morning?_**

Emma took a deep breath, and when she let it out, her face turned into a frown. Emma had finally decided that Walsh hadn't really meant it when he said she wasn't smart enough for Mr. Spencer's class, and what Mary Margaret said about being jealous _did _make sense. Jealousy makes people do stupid things. She decided that she needed to just let go of any anger she had with him and start the week fresh and new.

_****Yeah. Are you free now?_

_******Absolutely!**_

_****Okay, give me 5 minutes._

Emma quickly got ready, brushing her hair so it wasn't messy and putting on something other than just a cami. She went over to her computer and opened it up, powering it on and clicking on the Skype icon.

Walsh immediately answered the call. "Hey, Em. How's your weekend been?"

Emma gave a half smile. "It's been alright. I took Roland to the pool yesterday and had a sleepover with Ruby and Mary Margaret on Friday night."

"That sounds fun, but I've missed you," Walsh said. "Again, I must apologize—"

Emma held up a hand. "I don't want to talk about this any more. We just had our one-year anniversary. Let's be happy with the fact we've been together this long when most high school relationships don't last a month."

Walsh's face grew into the grin she loved. "Thank you. What are your plans today?"

Emma palms started to sweat, unsure if she really wanted to tell him. She had already left out that she had dinner with Killian and his friends on Friday, and that she saw Killian at the pool yesterday morning, so she felt guilty not telling him about the study date, too. "Oh, you know, just normal Sunday activities like lounging around and doing homework. In fact, Ruby and I are going to a study group with Killian and Victor. Do you know him? Victor Whale? He's in a lot of honors classes, too." She tried to brush it off as unimportant and not something she was really excited for.

Emma saw Walsh's face clench. "Yeah, I know him. How did that study group form?" he asked. "Neither Ruby or you are in any classes with those two. It just seems like an odd pairing."

Emma hated lying to Walsh, but she knew it would be much worse if she told him about Granny's the other day. "I needed another tutoring session, and Killian was planning to study with Victor, instead. I thought I'd bring Ruby along because she gets along with _everyone_. She's super excited."

"Another tutoring session?" Walsh's voice was tight, and Emma could tell it was taking all of his energy to not comment about Killian.

"The Sunday night one from last week really helped me with my first Monday-quiz. It could be useful to have another one." Emma said. "It's nothing spectacular."

"So, then you wouldn't mind if I tagged along?" Walsh asked, a look on his face that Emma didn't like. It was a mixture of mistrust and pain, and Emma couldn't help but feeling like he trapped her into saying yes.

"Are you sure you'd even want to come along?" Emma asked back. "You told me you like complete silence when you're trying to study."

"I think it could be fun. Is that alright?" His voice was cold, telling Emma that it would be the exact _opposite_ of fun.

"Uh, yeah. The study room might be a little small for all five people, but I guess we could fit you in."

"Excellent," he replied.

Suddenly, there was a knock on Emma's door, and Marian peeked her head in. "Hey, Emma? Could you come downstairs for a bit?" she asked.

Emma nodded to her foster mother and gave her a "one sec" gesture. She turned back to her boyfriend. "It looks like I'm needed downstairs. See you tonight? I'm riding with Ruby, but I can text you the details."

"Sounds good. Bye, Emma. Love you," he said.

"I love you, too." She replied before waving and signing out of Skype.

Emma stood up and walked over to where her foster mother was waiting. "It looks like you and Walsh worked things out," she said, guiding Emma through the upstairs hall until they came to the stairwell.

"It's a new week. I decided to just let him off the hook and go from here," Emma replied as she started going down. "I have missed him the past two weeks…"

"Well, I'm glad everything's going well," she said as she guided Emma into the living room.

Emma stopped in her place, her heart beating rapidly.

Her social worker, Regina Mills, was sitting on a chair, reading a book to Roland. Robin was sitting in on the couch opposite them, tapping his foot and looking at the two with great interest and a big smile. Marian gave an encouraging grin and pushed her in the room, guiding her to a saved spot in between where Robin and she were sitting.

Emma hated meetings with her social worker. They always brought up so much fear that she would be sent back into the system that she felt like she couldn't breathe. Regina was nice enough – even if she was really stern – and she had gotten her out of a nasty situation when she was 13 and into Robin and Marian's home. For that, she would always be grateful to the woman.

Ever since Emma came to live with Robin and Marian, the visits have been less stressful and frequent, but this one had been unannounced. Usually, Regina gave more warning, or Emma knew when it would be based on when visits and check ups had to occur. This visit seemed out of the blue, and Emma couldn't help but fear what she had to say.

Regina looked up from the book. "Oh! Hello, Emma," she said, closing the book. She turned to Roland, who was another one of her child cases, and told him to run along. Even Roland's cute pout couldn't help the bad feeling in the pit of Emma's stomach. He took the book and slumped out of the room, leaving Emma alone with the three adults.

"I suppose we should get this meeting started," Regina said as she reached into her briefcase and took out a big manila folder.

Emma's manila folder.

She had seen this folder time and time again. It was really thick – paperwork about her previous foster homes, that time she broke her arm, her case study, etc. _Everything_ about her life was stuffed inside that tiny folder. Regina opened it up and pulled out a big stack of paper, every page filled with tiny letters on it.

"Do you know why I'm here?" she asked as she paged through the document.

"No, Ms. Mills," Emma replied, watching her social worker finger through each page.

Marian must have sensed Emma's weariness because she began brushing her hair with her hand while Robin began rubbing his hand up and down Emma's back for support. Emma tried to think of anything and everything she could have done to make Robin and Marian want to send her away, and she couldn't think of a single thing.

"You _know _you can call me Regina, Emma," she said, still looking at the documents. Finally, she found what she was looking for, and folded the packet until a specific page was on top. "I'm sure you've realized that you're turning 18 in two weeks."

Emma nodded, confused with what was going on. "Yeah…" She turned to look at Marian, but she was looking straight at Regina.

"Well, when you turn 18, you'll no longer be in the foster care system." Emma's eyes suddenly widened as she realized what Regina was saying.

She was going to be 18. She's finally aged out of the system. Robin and Marian would no longer be her foster parents, and they could kick her out without any repercussions from the state. They could forget about her and find a new child to foster. It's happened before, it could happen again.

She suddenly started breathing quickly and much too shallow, and Emma was unsure if she was going to be able to get enough air in her lungs to stay conscious. Her morning was going to well; her night was going to be fun. And now, with Regina's simple statement, her life fell apart.

She was going to be 18 and homeless. She wasn't going to have a job. She wasn't going to finish high school, _definitely_ not going to college. She started wracking her brain for the people she could crash with. Ruby's grandmother just moved in, so that was out of the question. Maybe Mary Margaret? Her parents seemed to like her…

"Emma, breathe," Robin said. He took his first finger and turned her head towards him. "Just breathe, okay?" He gestured towards Regina with his head before looking back at the woman to see what she had to say.

Emma nodded, but her breathing didn't change much. She turned back to Regina and waited for whatever she had to say. Regina stared at Robin before turning to Emma. "Now, I've talked to Mr. and Mrs. Hood about the possible options there are for you now that you'll be out of the system."

"Emma, we've loved having you live here," Marian interrupted, clearly aware of Emma's uneasiness. Emma turned to look at her foster mother. "We'd be honored if you'd continued to live with us even after you turn 18."

Emma's body finally relaxed. "Really?" she asked, still not comprehending what Marian just said. All of her previous foster families had left her for one reason or another. She wasn't quite sure if Marian was telling the truth when she said they wanted to keep her.

"Of course! We would never kick you out," Robin continued for his wife. "We think of you as our own. You've brought so much joy into our lives."

Emma couldn't help the tears that were forming in her eyes. She leaned over and hugged Robin, whispering "thank you" into his neck. She then turned to Marian and did the same. She held on to Marian until Regina cleared her throat, and Emma sat back up, wiping away her tears to hear what Regina had to say.

Regina looked annoyed with the interruption, her lips pursed and her foot tapping the floor. "Even with their desire to keep you here, the state requires me to go over all of this with you." Regina placed her hand on the stack of paper before starting. "Just so you are aware of your options now that you're of legal age."

Emma barely listened. She reached a hand out to each of her foster parents and grabbed them, refusing to let them go. Words such as "adult" and "legal" were thrown around often, but Emma had a difficult time listening.

She actually found it funny that yesterday, and even this morning, her biggest problem was that her boyfriend was jealous of her tutor. It was so minute, so insignificant to what _could_ have happened with Regina's visit today.

The three adults and Emma talked for a good hour and a half, and Robin and Marian had to sign some papers. "I'll see you in a couple weeks then, Emma, and you'll have to sign some paperwork of your own." Regina finally said, stuffing all of her papers back into the manila folder and then to the briefcase. "It was good to see you again, Mr. and Mrs. Hood."

Everyone walked Regina out. Regina gave Emma and awkward hug before turning to her foster parents and saying a few final things about her visit in a couple of weeks for Emma and then in two months for Roland. Robin must have made some joke that she didn't hear that Regina laughed at, Marian silently giggling with a smile on her face.

Once she was gone, Marian put her hand on Emma's shoulder. "Emma, could we talk to you?" After what had just happened, Emma would have given Marian and Robin her arm and leg if they asked for it. They all went back into the living room.

Robin and Marian sat down on the loveseat, and they expected Emma to sit across from them where Regina had been sitting. Emma couldn't bring herself to do that, though. She squeezed herself right in between them as if she was a kid having a nightmare. Emma knew she was being clingy, but she couldn't help it. She's almost out of the foster care system, and these two were her saviors.

After they scooted apart and settled in, Marian was the first to speak. "Do you want to stay here with us? It's not something we've talked about and we know this was sprung on you because of the meeting."

"We don't want you to feel obligated to live here just because you said something in front of Regina…" Robin added, and Emma felt the tears welling in her eyes again.

She nodded, unsure if she'd be able to speak more than that. She placed her arms around Marian's shoulders and let her tears fall. Emma hated being emotional around her foster parents, but in this moment, she couldn't help it.

Emma felt Robin's hand on her back again. It was then when she leaned back from Marian and looked at him, instead. Her bottom lip trembled. "We really do feel like you are our own child, Emma. We'd love for you to stay here, and come back during college breaks, and bring your own children to visit when you're a parent, yourself. We even set up a tiny college fund for you when you first started living with us… We know it's unprecedented to do so, but we wanted you to have _something_ other than just your name."

"Emma, we never want you out of our lives. We've even told Regina that we'd rather have you and Roland stay with us forever than get new children in the system."

Emma gave a small smile, and she had never been more thankful for these two people than she was in that moment. "Thank you," she whispered, knowing that if she even tried to get anything else out, she would fail.

"How about some lunch?" Marian asked, changing the mood. "I think we could go out for a meal and then maybe a movie. What do you think?"

Emma wiped away her tears and nodded again, standing up. "Let me go change," she croaked as she walked up the stairs.

She passed by Roland on her way to her room. "Emma? What's wrong?" he asked in his young voice. "Why are you crying?"

"Everything's wonderful. They're tears for good news," Emma said, turning back to her foster brother and kneeling in front of him. "Marian and Robin said they want to take us to lunch and a movie, so go get dressed so we can go!"

Roland jumped for joy as he ran back into his room to change. Emma followed the familiar path back to her own room.

_Her_ room that would stay _hers_ even after she turned 18.


	13. Chapter 13

"How do I look?" Ruby asked when Emma came to pick her up. Emma was waiting in the car for her friend, tapping her toe on the ignition with impatience.

"You look fine, Ruby. We're just going to study at the library. It's not a date for you and Victor." Emma rolled her eyes as Ruby opened the door to come in the passenger side. "How long did you even take getting ready?"

"I should ask you the same thing," Ruby replied, looking Emma up and down. "You look nicer than your typical Sunday gear."

Emma ignored her comment and started driving in silence. Ruby seemed oblivious as she opened up the visor and began applying lip-gloss. Emma shook her head and chuckled as she continued down Main Street.

"I'm so excited!" Ruby said as they pulled towards the parking lot. "I was really hoping to see Victor again soon, but I didn't realize it would be _so_ soon!"

"You'll have to thank Killian – it was his idea." Emma replied.

"Of course, it was." Emma dismissed Ruby's remark as her friend's eyes scanned the parking lot and went straight to a mint green Toyota. "Why is Walsh's car here?" she asked, turning to Emma and gripping her arm right as Emma parked.

"Uh, Walsh is coming, too."

Ruby slammed the visor shut and turned to Emma. "He doesn't seem to like Killian very much. Isn't that just asking for trouble?"

"He kind of invited himself," Emma looked down at her hands. "There really wasn't much I could do or say other than agree."

"Do you even want him here?"

"Of course!" Emma replied, running her left hand through her hair. "He's my _boyfriend_. I love spending time with him. I just wish it didn't have to be when we're studying."

Ruby opened her door. "Yeah, that's going to suck, especially since Killian and Victor are here." She stepped out of the car, Emma following suit.

"I didn't tell him we went out with them on Friday, so can you not mention anything?"

Ruby gave Emma a strange look. "You lied to Walsh?"

"Well, not really. I just omitted that information when we were talking this morning…" Emma began scratching her nail and looking at it with fine detail.

"And you felt the need to keep this from him _why_?" The two started walking in to the library together.

Emma pointed at the library. "Look what happened when I just mentioned I was going to a study group with you, Victor, and Killian! If I were to tell him that we went out on Friday night and I saw him at the pool on Saturday morning, he would go insane!"

"Why would you see him at the pool?" Ruby stopped at the door, turning to look at her friend with curious eyes. "Is that why you went to the pool two weekends in a row? To see _Killian_?"

"Last weekend I was grounded and just wanted to get out of the house. I didn't know he was a lifeguard."

"And this weekend?"

Emma brushed her hand through her hair again. "I don't know… I just felt like going. I had to tell him that Marian and Robin are signing Roland up for swimming."

"And you couldn't do that in a text?" Ruby opened the door and pushed Emma through. "Fine. I won't tell Walsh about any of that, but you better hope Victor and Killian don't mention anything."

Emma swung around to face her friend, fear and guilt overcoming her chest. "Do you think they will?"

"I don't see why they wouldn't! With just one of them saying, _"Thanks for coming out with us Friday,"_ Walsh'll know."

Emma and Ruby couldn't finish their conversation because Walsh looked over and saw them. Apparently, he had been waiting at the front desk, talking to the librarian about god knows what. He smiled at them and met them halfway.

"Hey Emma, Ruby," Walsh said, giving Ruby a quick side-hug before leaning in and gently kissing Emma's cheek.

After sweet hellos, Emma took Walsh's hand and the three of them went to the empty study room. Walsh's hand didn't tighten around Emma's the way it usually did – he was looking at her out of the corner of his eye to make sure she was okay with the physical contact in general. Emma squeezed his hand and smiled at him, and Walsh seemed to relax.

Emma got out her math homework while Walsh and Ruby each got out their English homework. The three sat in silence as they waited for the other two boys to show up. "I wonder what's taking them so long…" Ruby said after a while, looking at the time on her phone.

As if on cue, there was a knock at the door. All three of them looked up to see Victor and Killian standing in the doorway. Victor smiled when he saw Ruby and immediately went over to sit by her, leaving an open spot right next to Emma for Killian.

"I hope you don't mind I came to this study group," Walsh said as he reached over and put his arm around Emma's shoulder as if marking his territory. "Emma told me about it, and I thought I'd tag along."

Emma frowned as she saw Killian's fallen face. It was a mixture of disappointment, defeat, and hatred as he noticed the extra guest – nothing like she had ever seen on his face before. Without a beat, it turned into a cocky smile with his eyebrows dancing on his forehead. "Not a problem, Ozland. Glad to have you with us." Killian finally walked into the room and took his place right next to Emma.

After Victor and Killian opened up their backpacks and took out everything they needed, Killian turned to Emma. "Why don't you try some of your homework by yourself, first, and then I can look over everything. We can go from there."

Emma gave Killian a quick nod before going back to her math textbook. The tension in the air was thick, and Emma felt like she couldn't breathe. She knew it was a bad idea for Walsh to come, but she didn't quite know how it would have affected the atmosphere. Even Ruby and Victor, who were flirting like crazy just two days ago, weren't saying a thing to each other, the easiness of it all completely gone. Emma could barely concentrate as she looked at her problems.

"Need any help, babe?" Walsh asked, looking over at her sheet after a while. "It doesn't look like you've been doing much."

Emma saw Killian grip his pencil tightly, but continued to write whatever he was doing. Emma turned to her boyfriend and gave a fake smile. "No, I'm good right now. Thanks." Emma went back to looking at her paper, but it seemed even more foreign than ever.

Both Killian and Walsh were staring at each other with daggers in their eyes, only glancing at Emma every few seconds as if to dare the other to make the next move. Emma wanted nothing more than to stand up and run out of the library, vowing that she would make sure these two were not in the same room around her ever again.

Finally, after a long time that Emma's pencil didn't move, Killian leaned over. "Do you need to go over something, Swan? You've been on question 5 for about seven minutes already…"

Emma looked out from underneath her eyebrows at her tutor, wanting nothing more than to nod her head yes. It was a really difficult concept, and Emma did need the help. But, with Walsh sitting right next to her – still with his arm draped around her – she didn't feel like she could ask Killian for anything. She felt obligated to ask Walsh, even if he wasn't her tutor.

Emma tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, finally deciding she had to look to her tutor for help, even if it inadvertently hurt Walsh in the process. "I guess I'm a little confused about linear equations…" Emma looked down at her paper, as if ashamed of not being able to do it by herself.

"No problem, Swan. That's what I'm here for." Killian set down his own paper and pen and scooted his chair over towards Emma. "What's got you in trouble?"

"I guess I'm confused with whether to graph, substitute, or eliminate…"

"You should graph with that one," Walsh cut in, pointing to the problem in question with his pencil.

Killian sent Walsh a death glare. "Thanks, _mate_, but Emma's never going to be able to figure it out on a test if she doesn't do it _herself_," Killian's voice was strained. He was usually so cool and collective that his tone almost made her shiver.

"Well, _Jones_, you first have to tell her which type of problems need graphing _before_ you can ask her to do it herself." Walsh stared right into Killian's eyes, a fire behind them that she had never seen before. It scared her to see how angry her tutor made him.

What had gone on with these two in the past?

"Which is what I was trying to do," Killian gritted out. "Before I was so rudely interrupted."

Walsh opened his mouth to respond before Emma cut in. "Thanks for your help, Walsh," Emma said. She brought her head up to look at Ruby. "I need to go to the bathroom. Ruby?" Ruby and Victor were watching the scene like it was some horror movie. All they needed was some popcorn and they'd be all set.

Ruby stood up and followed Emma out of the study room, where they nearly ran to the bathroom so they could be by themselves.

"This is bad," Emma started, pacing the small bathroom once the door is shut. She put her head to her forehead. "This is really bad."

"Well, it's definitely not good," Ruby replied, leaning against the wall and crossing her arms. "I told you that having Walsh and Killian both here was going to be a nightmare."

"I just didn't realize how much they hated each other! Killian has not said one bad thing about Walsh, and Walsh hasn't said many things back. All he keeps saying is that he _"doesn't want me around a guy like that."_ What does that even mean?"

"I don't know. They're acting like children."

"I don't need this, _not today_," Emma stopped where she was. "I can't deal with my boyfriend and my tutor hating each other today. We need to leave."

"Well, what are you going to say? It's only been a 45 minutes, and no one has really gotten anything done. We were planning to study until the library closed."

"I don't know… I don't know…" Panic and anxiety were starting to rise in Emma's stomach. She started jumping in place to get rid of any nerves she had before walking over to the mirror. "Can you take the blame for this one? I'll owe you big time."

Ruby pushed herself off the wall and walked over to Emma, placing a hand on her back. "Only for you. But we're having a real study date soon… One where either Killian or Walsh isn't invited."

Emma let out a breath and gave a thankful nod of her head. Together, they walked back out of the room and over to where the three boys were sitting in the room. Emma looked in only to see Killian and Walsh staring at each other as if they were the last person they'd like to see in the world.

Which, Emma found out after tonight, is probably the case.

They opened the room to a heavy silence. Ruby stepped in before Emma. "I'm sorry, guys. I just got a text saying my Granny needs me at home. We have to go."

Emma walked straight to her backpack, not looking at anyone and packing everything up. She put all of her books and papers away and shrugged on her jacket before saying a general "goodbye" to the entire room.

It wasn't until she and Ruby were in her car and driving away that Emma felt like she could breathe again. "Thank you, Ruby," Emma whispered, never more thankful to have a friend like Ruby than she was now.

"What are friends for?" She replied, opening up her phone and texting someone.

"Who knew two boys could act so immature?" Emma said as she pulled out of the parking lot and sped down Main Street. She wanted to get as far away from the library as possible.

"They're _boys_. Of course they're immature." Ruby looked out the window at the stores and houses passing by. "Did you get anything done?"

"No, and I feel like I know even less than what I began with. Tomorrow's quiz is going to be terrible. This was such a bad idea…"

* * *

Killian started packing his backpack after the girls left. "What the hell is wrong with you?" he asked Walsh, in a voice slightly louder than it should have been.

"Me? What about _you_?" Walsh replied.

"I was trying to do my job and help Emma with math. All you were doing was acting like some douche trying to show off to her."

"That was _exactly_ what you were doing! She might not see it, but I see right through your little act!" Walsh zipped his backpack so hard, Killian was sure it would break.

"And what is this _little act_? Being nice? Doing my job?" Killian put his backpack on and turned to his least favorite person to get the answer.

"Trying to steal my girlfriend!" Walsh shouted, waving his arms.

Killian shook his head. "You're wrong, mate. I'm trying to help Emma pass math and get back into Mr. Spencer's class, which clearly _you're_ not willing to do."

Walsh became silent, and Killian felt a sense of pride until he walked over and got right in his face. "Listen to me, Killian Jones. Leave my girlfriend alone. I don't want to see or hear that she's been around you."

"Tough luck. _I_ have to tutor her twice a week. I _have_ to be around her." Killian turned around and walked towards the door before looking back one last time. "Perhaps, instead of worrying about me trying to woo your girlfriend, you should figure out why Emma would much rather be around me than you."

"What does that even mean?" Killian just shrugged, causing Walsh to take three steps until he was right in his face. "Stay. Away. From. Her." Walsh made each word slow and deep, making sure he sounded as threatening to Killian as he possibly could.

Killian walked out of the room, saying over his shoulder, "Fine. I'll stay away from her, _until next Wednesday at 2:45_." With that, Victor nearly pushed Killian out of the library and away from Walsh. Killian got into Victor's car and the two began down the road.

"What the hell _was_ that, Killian?" Victor asked, taking the familiar path down towards Killian's house.

Killian settled for crossing his arms in front of his body and turning to look out the window. "How could Emma choose to be with a guy like that? She's so wonderful and he's… he's…"

"Yeah, he's an asshole. But, do you realize that Emma was on the verge of _tears_ in there because of you two? Ruby clearly didn't have a family emergency. Emma wanted to get out of there and didn't know how to tell you guys."

Killian's heart sank. "Is that true?" It would crush him if Ruby really took the fall just to get Emma out of there.

"Yeah. I'm just lucky I got Ruby's number before she left."

Killian looked out the window, his head dropping in defeat. "I just wanted to help Emma study…"

Victor pulled into Killian's driveway and parked. "You and I _both_ know that's not the slightest bit true."

"This is so fucked up," Killian said, closing his eyes and laying his head against the headrest, not even caring that he cursed.

Victor unlocked the doors and nodded. "Yep, it sure is."

* * *

The next day, Emma had successfully avoided talking to Walsh. Even when they were given free time to chat in class or when they walked together in the hallway, Emma stayed silent. She may have been over the whole picture and math class fiasco, but she certainly didn't sleep the previous night off. In fact, it was probably the worst night's sleep she'd ever had.

Emma floated through the day, and she suddenly found herself in Mr. Jefferson's math class, waiting for his weekly quiz to be passed out. She felt herself start to sweat – actually sweat – at the idea of this test. She hadn't studied for it last night like she should have. Even _looking_ at the material made her sick to her stomach, and so she had no doubt that she was going to fail.

When the quiz was placed down on her desk, she looked the first problem, and all her fears were proven true. She analyzed at the letters, numbers, and symbols and had absolutely no clue what she was supposed to do. Emma sighed and frowned as she picked up her pencil and wrote the name _"Emma Swan"_ at the top of the paper.


	14. Chapter 14

The previous Tuesday afternoon, Emma had texted Killian for the first time with what she got on the math quiz. Killian kept to his word and hadn't talked to Emma since their study group, but that didn't mean he wouldn't check his phone religiously to see if she texted him.

When he checked, _again_, after a particularly bad swim practice and still heard nothing, he decided to take things into his own hands, ignoring everything Walsh had said to him Sunday night.

**_Did you get your most recent quiz back?_**

He put his phone in his back pocket and walked out of the locker room with Phillip, but immediately ignored his friend and his friend's girlfriend when he felt a buzz. He quickly snapped out the phone to see a one-word response.

_Yes._

He studied the text, trying to decipher it. Was it a good yes? A bad one? Is she ignoring him because of his poor behavior from the other night? Millions of thoughts ran through his head until he felt like there was another whole person occupying his brain. Dismissing everything in his mind, he typed out his reply.

**_And…?_**

But Emma didn't respond right away. And she didn't respond after he drove to the Community Center. And she didn't respond after his swim class.

Yep. She was clearly avoiding him.

**_ I apologize I wasn't able to help more on Sunday night.  
I feel absolutely awful. I hope the quiz still went okay._**

He drove home, going crazy with thoughts about the other night and how he left things with Emma. She needed help with math, and all he did was fight with her boyfriend. That was not a very gentlemanly thing to do.

It was only when he was changed and starting to write his history paper that he got a response.

_ It didn't. I got 5/10._

Killian felt worse than ever. They had been making progress, and she was on the right track to getting back in Mr. Spencer's class by next trimester. He swallowed as he thought of her what her face must have looked like when she got the test back: disappointment, anger, failure… The list would go on and on.

**_ I'm sorry to hear that. We'll just have to work harder  
this week. I know you can do it._**

Killian had assumed that would be the end of the conversation, setting his phone aside and beginning his paper. When his phone buzzed, he furrowed his brows in confusion and picked it up.

The conversation was far from over.

_ Don't worry about it. I'm used to it._

**_ Well, by the end of the semester, you won't be. I refuse  
to let you fail another one of your math tests._**

_ I don't like people pitying me._

_ I'm not pitying you. I'm merely stating how it was my_  
fault for this minor setback, and I refuse to let it happen  
to you again.

_ That's not something you can promise…_

**_ Oh, but it is, and I have._**

_ Why?_

**_ Why what?_**

_ Why are you so determined to help me?_

Killian had to take a break for a moment. He obviously was not going to go into some deep message about his feelings for her, but he also wanted to show her that he thought she was special. He needed to think of the exact right words, and he wished it hadn't taken him as long as it had to find them.

**_ Because for some reason, you see yourself as a goose,  
even though I know you're a swan._**

It was cheesy, and he knew it when he pressed the send button, but Killian didn't care about that. All he cared about was that Emma was upset, and he wanted to do anything he could make her smile.

Her response was small, but it was progress, and that was all he had hoped for.

_ Is 2:45 in Mr. Spencer's classroom still okay?_

She may not have acknowledged his statement, but setting a date for their next tutoring session meant she hadn't given up on him as her tutor. He made sure to reply as fast as his hands could type.

**_ Absolutely. I'll see you then, Swan._**

* * *

_**Because for some reason, you see yourself as a goose,  
even though I know you're a swan.**_

It was so sweet, so _meaningful_. So… philosophical, which made sense. He was the smartest 17-year-old she knew, _of course_ he'd have a way with the words. She had no idea what an eloquent response would be, so she lamely replied with a date and time for their next tutoring session.

He was right. She did see herself as a goose – always has and always will. Her parents gave her up as a baby. They're the people who are supposed to love you most, and they didn't even want her. Then, there were the Swans, who took her in for three whole years before returning her. She was always bouncing around from place to place after that, until somehow being paired with Marian and Robin. Even with their kindness and support, she never felt like enough for someone to want her to stay. She was a goose. Who wants a goose when there are swans out there?

And now there's Killian, saying she's a swan.

Why did he have to be so damn sweet? Most boys would have dropped it after she said that she's used to it. Hell, most _people_ would have changed the subject or ignored what she said. But, as Emma scrolled up through their text conversation, she saw how he wouldn't let it go.

She saw how he _couldn't_ let it go.

Emma put her phone to sleep and rolled to her side, tucking one hand under her pillow and curling herself up into a little ball upon her bed. She didn't know what to do. It had only been a couple weeks that she's known the guy and her whole life has been changed.

She had been happy before. She liked her life. She had great friends, a stable home, a boyfriend that she loved…

No. A boyfriend that she _loves_.

Why did thinking of Killian always do that to her? She'd either push Walsh into the back of her mind or not even remember her boyfriend's name, or she'd use terms of endearment in past tense. It shouldn't be like that.

Emma slowed her breathing by taking deep breaths, ignoring the squeezing pain in her chest.

She sat up and walked over to her computer, opening it and clicking the Skype icon. Emma then made a call to Walsh, needing to remind herself why she loves him so much. Walsh didn't answer the first time she called, or the second. It was the third time in a row that his face came to view on her screen. She let out the breath she was apparently holding and gave him an appreciative smile.

"Hey, Em. Everything okay?"

"No."

"Want to talk about it?"

"No."

Just like she predicted, he dropped it instead of pushing on, like Killian had. "Then, what are you calling about?"

"I missed you today," she admitted. "I miss you in general. I've been so caught up in my life that I've put everything else above you, and I just needed to see you."

Emma watched as Walsh gave her a big, genuine smile. He looked relieved, and Emma couldn't help but feel guilty that she had made him so stressed – even if it _had_ been his stupidity. "I miss you, too."

The couple talked about life for a good hour and a half, catching up on what each other have been up to (and not-so-subtly ignoring any topic relating to her tutor). He only stopped talking when Emma took a big yawn. "You need to go to bed," he teased, and Emma laughed.

"Do not."

Walsh didn't buy it. He grinned and said, "I can see the bags under your eyes, babe. You need to sleep."

Emma frowned at his words. She knew as soon as she hung up, her mind would go back to thinking about Killian, and that was the last thing she wanted to do that the moment. "I'll just go get some caffeine and we can talk more."

Walsh cocked his head but nodded in agreement. He leaned back in his chair and started texting on the phone while Emma walked all through the house until she got to the refrigerator. Upon investigation, she realized there was no pops in there that would wake her up, and she refused to drink coffee. She sighed as she turned back around to go upstairs.

When she sat down, she shook her head. "Sorry, Walsh. There's nothing here."

"Well then, babe? You need to go to sleep. I'll see you tomorrow. Love you."

"Love you, too."

Walsh gave a last wave before signing off, and Emma just sat in her chair, not knowing what to do.

She felt dirty saying the words to him, for more than one reason. She knew they were true, and Walsh probably did, too, but they felt wrong coming out of her mouth. With the odd feelings Killian was giving her, she felt like she was lying to Walsh, almost as if she was cheating on him. It was a wretched feeling, and one that was becoming harder and harder to shake off.

Emma stood up and started pacing the room. She was in the same predicament she'd been in for weeks now, and she didn't know what to do. She felt like her life was spiraling out of control, and she didn't have anything to hold on to to stop it.

Emma went over to her dresser and changed into pajamas and turned off the lights. She walked over to her bed and slid under the covers, shutting her eyes tight and hoping all of the drama would go away when she awoke the next morning.

She knew it wouldn't, but she still hoped.

* * *

"Did I do it right?" Emma asked, biting her bottom lip as a mischievous smile crept upon her face. "I practiced so we could finish early."

"Oh, yeah?" Killian replied. "And what did you have planned once we finished?"

Killian and Emma were sitting in Mr. Spencer's room. One minute, Killian had been leaning behind her, telling her about irrational numbers, and the next minute, they were face to face. "You tell me."

Emma leaned forward before gently pressing her lips upon his. She slowly leaned back to see his reaction, and apparently was pleased with what she saw. A fire started burning in Killian's stomach at the light kiss, but it was enough to encourage him to lean forward and take her lips in his again.

Killian drew his tongue across Emma's bottom lip, as if asking for entrance to her mouth, which she granted instantaneously. Just as he lifted his left hand to cup her face and pull her closer, a loud banging interrupted them.

Killian turned around to see Walsh standing in the doorway. "What the hell are you doing to my girlfriend?" he asked, storming in and pulling Killian off of Emma. Walsh pushed him up against the wall, his eyebrows leaning down in anger.

"I… It was…" Killian started, but before he could finish what he said, Walsh drew a fist back. Killian squeezed his eyes shut as he waited for the punch, but the blow never came.

Killian jumped awake in his bed, sitting up and looking around at his surroundings. He wasn't in Mr. Spencer's classroom at all – instead in his darkened bedroom. He looked at his clock and saw that he was up about a half hour before he needed to be, but knew it was pointless to attempt to go back to sleep.

Well, it seems like he'd be dependent on coffee today. But that shouldn't be new. His busy schedule has really messed with his sleep patterns, and he'd taken up the hot drink to get him through the day.

Killian rubbed his eyes, thinking of his dream and trying to figure out what it meant. It started as a tutoring session with Emma, and she kissed him, quick and sweet. He then kissed her, hard passionately. Walsh came in and caught them then got ready to beat him up. He went through the four steps in the dream over and over in his head, needing to figure out what his subconscious was telling him.

Obviously, he wanted a relationship. He wanted to experience love, and he wanted to do so with Emma. He already knew that – _other people_ already knew that – and so it wasn't that hard to figure out why he had kissed Emma in the dream.

The tough part to decide was why Walsh came in and hit him. Well, it wasn't _that_ tough. If something like this happened in real life, he had no doubt that Walsh would be furious. But, what was his subconscious telling him?

_"You need to back off Emma. She's not available, you'll never get her."_

No. He immediately shook his head, panic flooding through him. He would never purposefully put distance between Emma and him. He was too invested in their relationship to back out of anything, whether it was based on reality or fantasy.

Could his dream be true? He's only setting himself up for disaster by continuing this odd dalliance with Emma. She was in a relationship with his least favorite person, he was too busy to be anything more than her tutor.

It was like his heart was being torn in two.

His phone alarm suddenly went off, causing Killian to shake off any thoughts he had about dream interpretations. As he stood up, he pushed everything relating to his dream to the back of his mind.

He went to his closet and rummaged through his clothes to, once again, find a shirt that would accentuate his eyes.

* * *

Killian sat in his college math course in Mist Haven's oldest building. He completely forgot he had a midterm in the class that day and was dreading what the exam would bring. He hadn't studied for it – too consumed in his new life after getting accepted to Harvard – that the test just slipped his mind.

Killian took a deep breath as he looked at the first question on his Calculus 4 exam. He knew the concept from coming to class and homework assignments he did, but he wasn't confident enough in the material to feel like he knew what he was doing. Slowly, he picked up his pencil from beside his paper and started writing letters and numbers, showing his work and typing on his calculator.

Before he knew it, the professor was telling the class that the exam time was up, and he had to turn it in. Killian had luckily finished it, but barely. He didn't even get a chance to go over his work a second time, and usually he tried to do it thrice.

He used a shaky hand as he walked down the aisle to Professor Leopold, handing in the paper with his head down. "Thank you, Mr. Jones," the professor said. Killian couldn't even look him in the eye. Professor Leopold had once shared with Killian that he was the student creating the curve for the class, and he had much respect for Killian being so brilliant at such a young age.

What would he think when he graded this exam? How was Killian supposed to come back to class on Friday, knowing he probably screwed up getting an A? How was he going to look Professor Leopold in the eye ever again?

Victor's words started haunting him again. First, he had performed badly at the swim meet, and now he was positive he just failed this test. He had too much on his plate – he knew it – but he didn't know what to do. He _had_ to work. He _had_ to swim. He _had_ to be in clubs. He _had_ to go to school. There was nothing he was willing to drop out of his life to gain some more control.

Killian decided to just ignore any thoughts about the test and walked out of Mist Haven. There was nothing he could do about it now, anyway. He already turned in the exam. Now, all he could do was finish his afternoon at Storybrooke High before his tutoring session with Emma and teaching swimming later that night.

Killian pulled up through a Caribou drive thru and picked up his third coffee of the day.

* * *

Emma tucked her hair behind her ear as she entered Mr. Spencer's classroom at 2:48 that afternoon, prepared to apologize for her tardiness. Killian wasn't there yet, so Emma decided to set up the room as it always was while she waited.

She sat down and took out her math textbook and started going over the material for that day's session. She glanced up at the clock more times than she was willing to admit as the time went by. One minute, two minutes, five minutes later, Killian still wasn't there.

Emma's face morphed into concern as she took out her phone to see if he texted her. When there was nothing, she sent a quick message.

_ Hey! We were still meeting today at 2:45 in Mr. Spencer's  
room, right?_

Emma started placing her phone away when a gruff voice said from the door, "You are correct, Swan."

"You're late," Emma joked as Killian walked over to his seat. Again, he was wearing a nice polo shirt and dark-wash jeans, his hair perfectly slicked back. But, instead of his typical smirk, his face had indentations at the sides of his lips, clearly frowning before he came. He couldn't even fake a smile at her, and Emma knew something must be up.

"I lost track of time, and I must apologize for that." Killian slid into the seat across from her. "What are we talking about today?"

"Graphing systems with one solution," Emma started before cocking her head. Any awkwardness she had thought there would be was thrown out the window as she saw the poor kid. He was hurting, and all the insecurities she had of him being her tutor were immediately erased as she wanted to fix whatever was wrong. "Is everything alright? You seem… Off."

"I'm fine," Killian replied, but Emma saw right through the lie.

"Hey, remember when you told me we wouldn't be able to do math until I told you what was wrong? Well, the same applies to you, buddy. I'm not going to learn anything if your head isn't in the game."

Killian chuckled, even though a smile didn't reach his face. "I suppose it's a two-way street, isn't it, Swan?"

Emma nodded in response, pushing her notebook and textbook away from her, turning her body until it was completely facing her tutor. "You can tell me what's wrong – I promise I won't tell anyone."

Killian sighed as he began to list his day off for her. "I woke up much earlier than I should have, then I forgot about a math exam I had today and have no doubt I failed it, I'm doing so poorly at swimming, and I'm stressed with all my jobs. I thought I could handle all this pressure, but things are starting to pile up and I'm missing things that are important to me."

Emma sat at listened to Killian vent about all the things going on in his life. When he finally looked at her, his eyes were glossed over. He was on the verge of having a break down right in front of her, and all she could do was reach her hand over and grip it for support. "I had no idea how hard it was for you. You seem like the perfect person. I just assumed that everything came naturally for you."

Killian was staring at their hands before sliding it away. "Despite my superhero exterior, I admit that I'm just as human as you." He held his hand with his other, and Emma slowly took her hand off of his desk.

Emma and Killian sat and watched each other for a good minute. Emma didn't know what to say. She thought her life was hard, but Killian's was just as hard – just differently. "Do you need a break from tutoring sessions? We can take a couple weeks off if that'd help."

"No," Killian replied quickly, shaking his head. "I mean, look what happened when I abandoned you last Sunday. I'm not going to have you botch another quiz on my behalf. I just need to keep figuring things out."

"I was the one who agreed to let Walsh come along and left early with Ruby, _you_ didn't abandon me. Besides, it wasn't even a formal tutoring session. You were just being nice."

"I let my childish feud take precedence over studying, at your expense. If anyone's to blame, it's me."

"How about we blame no one?" Emma gave what she hoped was a forgiving smile. "Let's just start over and erase that memory from our brains."

"Deal," Killian said, holding out his hand for her to shake. When she took it, her stomach lurched, but she couldn't find it in herself to be the first to let go.

Killian suddenly looked at the clock above Mr. Spencer's door. "Dammit! We only have 20 minutes left. Why would you listen to my sob story for so long?" Killian frantically let go of her hand and fished through the math material to figure out what they were talking about.

Emma shrugged. "You seemed stressed. Besides, we weren't going to get anything done, anyway, if you kept brooding at your desk."

Killian smiled and actually laughed. "I owe you another tutoring session now."

Emma replied with her own laugh. "As long as it's just us, okay?"

Killian beamed at her as they started their short tutoring session.


	15. Chapter 15

Roland held both Emma and Marian's hands on the way into the Community Center's pool. He was tugging on them, practically running through the parking lot as the three of them went to his first swimming lesson. Marian wanted to make sure she was there for his first lesson. She told Emma she would feel more comfortable letting Emma drive Roland sometimes if she met the teacher first, and since Robin was gone from home anyway, Emma decided to tag along.

Well, she used it as an _excuse_ to tag along.

"Come on! Come on!" Roland yelled as he pulled them through the big crimson doors.

Emma laughed at Marian's face. "Don't worry, Roland. I promise we have plenty of time before your swimming lesson."

"I want to make sure, though!" Roland looked concerned, and Emma couldn't help but feel so lucky with the little "brother" she had been given through Regina.

They made their way through the community center until they came to the pool. Roland let go of Emma and Marian's hands and pushed the door open.

The heat of the room and the smell of chlorine hit Emma instantly. She looked around the room and found Killian with a clipboard and pen talking to another family, his back facing her and her family.

Killian had just laughed at whatever the family said, waving them away as he turned around to see who entered the room. Emma couldn't help but feel like his eyes lit up at the sight of her. He waved as he began to walk over, a huge grin on his face.

"Hi, Swan," Killian said when he got close enough.

"Hey," Emma replied, putting a strand of hair behind her ear. She suddenly felt self-conscious – she hadn't really talked much about her home life with him, and it would be pretty hard not to see that the three people in front of him weren't biologically related.

If he noticed anything, he didn't say it, because he suddenly knelt down in front of Roland. "Hello, lad. Are you my new student, Roland?" He held out his hand and waited for Roland to take it.

Roland early took it and shook it with great force. "Yes, I am!"

Killian laughed at Roland. "Quite the arm you have there. Are you excited for your first night of swimming?"

"Sure am!" Roland turned to Marian. "Emma told Marian and Robin that I should sign up for lessons, and they listened to her. Although, I'm already a _great_ swimmer."

Emma felt her face get hot with embarrassment as Killian looked up at her from the floor. A cocky grin spread across his face as he stood back up. "Did she, now?" Emma opened her mouth to respond, but Killian had already turned to Marian. "Hello. My name is Killian Jones, and I'll be Roland's swim instructor." He held out his hand once again to introduce himself.

Marian took it as she said, "I'm Marian, Roland's foster mother. I hope you haven't learned too much in the first couple of weeks?"

Emma saw Killian's eyes dart to her quickly before looking back at Marian. "Not at all. We've mostly worked on floating, paddling our feet, and holding our breath underwater. He won't be behind at all."

Marian ran her hand through Roland's hair, causing the boy to giggle. "Well, that's good to hear." The door behind them opened up, causing cool air to come into the arena. "I think that's our cue to go get ready," Marian joked as another mother and son walked in.

"Bye Roland. I'll see you in a couple minutes," Killian said before turning to Emma. "Bye, Swan."

Emma smiled as she waved.

The three of them walked down to the pool where Roland basically threw all his outside clothes on the ground, causing Marian to have to pick them up. Marian and Emma then claimed two chairs right by the pool as a whistle blew in the room.

"Okay, kids, it's time to start." Killian yelled in the room.

Emma sat back in her chair and watched her tutor walk down to the pool. He sat down and put his legs in, sitting on the edge. Without any warning, he pulled his white shirt over his head, revealing the stomach and muscles Emma had imagined he had on the first day she met him.

Her eyes widened, not knowing where to look. Killian tossed the shirt behind him on top of his clipboard as he waded through the water. Emma slowly focused her eyes on his face. He was staring at her with his left eyebrow raised, a mischievous smirk on his face. Emma rolled her eyes at him before looking at Marian, hoping she didn't notice Killian staring right at her.

Emma's worst fears confirmed when Marian gave her a look. Emma heard Killian begin the class in the background when Marian leaned over. "How do you know Roland's swim teacher?"

Emma tried to shrug it off. "He's actually the math tutor that Mr. Spencer paired me with. Small world, right?"

Marian looked at Emma, trying to find something that Emma hoped she couldn't. "He seems nice."

"He is." Emma said almost dreamily before shaking her head, trying to save herself. "I mean, he has to be nice to me because he's being paid to tutor me."

Marian paused again before replying. "I suppose so. Is tutoring going well?"

"Yeah. Killian's been really great so far, and we just kind of work well together, do you know what I mean?"

Marian nodded, looking at Emma still.

Emma tried to brush it off while she pulled out her history textbook from her backpack. She hoped her foster mother would drop whatever was on her mind. Emma opened to the page they were working on and started to read.

It was only when she was halfway down the page that she realized she wasn't comprehending anything that she read. Stealing a glance at Marian, who was currently reading a magazine, she peeked over her textbook at Killian.

She had never seen him swim before, and even though he said he had won gold in all his medals, she didn't quite realize how majestic he seemed in the water. Heck, he wasn't even really _swimming – _he was just standing and teaching kids how to kick the water behind them. It didn't seem to matter to him, though, because he looked at home in the water. He looked genuinely happy.

Every few minutes, she'd notice his eyes flicker towards her own. There was a tiny grin that was reserved just for her, and it instantly vanished seconds later. Every time Emma saw it, she pretended to be interested in what her book had to say, a grin of her own forming.

Before Emma knew it, Roland was dripping by Marian and her chairs. "OHMYGOSHTHATWASSOFUN!" Roland said, out of breath.

"Slow down, kid," Emma replied, reaching out for the towel under her chair and tossing it to Roland. "Dry off first."

Roland started to ramble about the lesson, talking about how cool Killian was, how long he could hold his breath underwater, how he already knew how to float but Killian gave him some new tricks. Marian talked to him with shared enthusiasm while Emma looked at the pool to see Killian pushing himself out of the pool, his arm muscles bulging with the strength of a swimmer.

He walked over to his towel and started by drying his hair before turning to his shoulders, arms, and legs. When he must have felt he had done a sufficient job, he put back on his white T-shirt and went over to the door to say goodbye to his students and their families.

When Marian, Roland, and Emma finally had everything picked up, they walked towards the door. "Good first lesson, Lad," he said to Roland, holding out his hand for a high five before turning to look at Emma. "I guess I'll see you Friday then, Swan?"

"Yeah, I guess. In Mr. Spencer's classroom at 2:45 again?"

"Sounds wonderful," Killian agreed right before another family stepped up to talk to the teacher. "Although, that's been our meeting spot and time all along. I think we should just declare it as your tutoring location."

Emma smiled as she nodded. "Deal. We don't need to confirm where or when we're going to study."

"Unless it's on a Sunday," Killian pointed out.

"Unless it's on a Sunday," Emma repeated.

Killian looked over her shoulder. "I wish I could talk more, lass, but I see a few families that are waiting to speak to me. I'll see you in a couple days."

Emma gave a small wave as she, Marian, and Roland left the building.

* * *

It had been another night of little sleep as Killian didn't get a chance to start his homework until nearly 9:45 that night. Even then, it took all his concentration _not_ to think about Emma and to instead about Mr. Midas's AP Writing and Composition persuasion assignment. He had a presentation in that the next day, and he had barely started it.

So, when he walked in the next day with his half-ass poster and quickly written notes, he slouched in his seat with distaste for his behavior.

Mr. Midas asked for volunteers to go first, automatically looking at Killian, his star student. When it was clear to his teacher that he was not going to raise his hand, he started searching the room. "I will call on people if someone doesn't volunteer…" he said.

It was then that his whole classroom turned to look at him. He saw everyone from Victor to stupid Walsh turned in his direction. He thought about his assignment, how his points were subpar at best, and how he wanted nothing more than to hope Mr. Midas didn't call on him today so he could work on it more tonight and try again tomorrow. Wasn't that what most high schoolers did?

Then again, he was Killian-freaking-Jones, and Killian Jones always volunteered to go first.

After one last pleading look from some kid named Felix (who, in Killian's opinion, should never have been put in the honors/AP system anyway), he raised his hand, turning his head down to his note cards and hating himself for it.

"Ah, Killian, yes. Come on up."

Killian frowned as he gathered his note cards and held his poster, walking through the aisles of desks until he hit the whiteboard. He placed the poster upon the ledge and turned around to face his classmates.

"Whenever you're ready," Mr. Midas said, and Killian couldn't help but think of the irony, given the fact that he'd be ready _tomorrow_.

Killian looked down at his white cards that had his assignment written on it, taking a deep breath and counting to three, before he began his assigned topic.

"The local school board has suggested eliminating elective subjects in attempt to save money. If this happened, classes like band, art, woodshop, choir – all those classes that students take to access their own creativity – will be terminated, leaving students to solely take the minimum core classes. I firmly believe that this is a poor decision for the school board to make for three reasons…"

Killian went in to an elaborate speech on why and how eliminating these classes would be detrimental, using the graphs and statistics he researched online. He used the arm gestures he barely practiced to help portray his position, and tried to look at his note cards as little as possible.

He glanced around the room and saw bored students, which wasn't typical for his classmates. With the exception of Walsh and his friends Zelena and Dorothy, his classmates usually liked listening to what he had to say. He usually had witty comments and could make the class laugh, without getting in trouble, by a simple snap of his fingers. Today? Crickets could be heard, and with each continuing sentence, he hated himself a little more.

"It is for those reasons, and many more, that not only should elective classes be kept within schools, but students should be encouraged to participate in them."

The class gave an obligatory clap as Killian grabbed his poster and walked back to his seat. He placed his hands across his desk and put his head right in the middle, fighting the pain in the back of his throat and tears that were threatening to leave his eyes. First, the swim meet against Nottingham High School, then the math exam in Professor Leopold's class, and now his presentation in Mr. Midas's class? He had to get his life back under control before he got expelled from Harvard before he even attended.

Dorothy began her persuasive speech on whether growing up in a small town or big city prepared kids better for adulthood. The words passed through one ear and out the other as Killian's mind was elsewhere.

Four more students gave their speeches when the bell finally rang for lunch, Killian rushed out of the room with the rest of his class, leaving Victor, Phillip, and Kathryn in the room without him. He stomped up to the first garbage bin he saw and crumpled his poster into a tiny ball, shoving it in. He then took his note cards and ripped them in half, then in quarters, then in eighths. The pattern continued until he had hundreds of little pieces floating into the can.

"Whoa, everything okay, Kill?" Phillip asked as his friends caught up with him. They had somehow picked up Aurora on their way over.

"Yeah," Killian hissed, walking away from them and towards his locker to get his packed lunch. He turned the padlock to his numbers, but it didn't open. He did the same thing twice more and, when it still didn't open, he kicked it. He then turned around and walked away from his locker, deciding it was easier to just skip lunch. He sat down at his friend's typical table, practically throwing his backpack on the floor.

Slowly, his friends came to the table, each sitting down at a different spot. There was an uneasy silence as his friends gauged his temperament. "Why aren't you eating?" Kathryn finally asked.

"Not hungry," he said simply.

"But you have to eat, Killian. We have swim practice after school and you have to have strength if you have any chance of making it out alive." Phillip chimed in.

"Take your own advice, Phil, and then maybe you'll beat me."

Phillip was clearly angry, which half made Killian feel bad, but also slightly satisfied. Phillip stuffed a big piece of his sandwich in his mouth, making a grand performance of how he was eating and causing Killian's stomach to rumble.

"No need for hostility," Aurora said, turning to Killian. "What the hell has _you_ in such a shitty mood?"

"I'm peachy," Killian started tapping his fingers on the table, surprised Aurora would use that kind of language. Usually, she and Kathryn kept the three boys in tow, so hearing her so blunt was a shock.

"Nah, he's just tired. He has too much going on," Victor looked at his friend. "I told you things were going to be stressful when you took on all this extra course load."

"Well, I don't really have a choice, now, do I?" Killian responded, sending Victor a mean look.

"Why don't you drop one of your jobs?" Victor offered, not deterred from Killian's expression at all. "Maybe just one less would do wonders."

"Which one pays least?" Kathryn piped up.

His friends were right when they said he should lose one of his jobs, but tutoring was what paid him the least, and he refused to give that one up. "I'm not going to quit any of my jobs," Killian said.

"Well, you gotta do _something_, before you make our lives hell…" Victor crossed his arms. "You're obviously in over your head, so might as well just make your life easier."

"Believe it or not, you don't have to be _perfect student and star athlete Killian Jones_ all the time. It's okay to be like the rest of us," Kathryn said, placing her hand upon Killian's fingers that were still tapping on the table.

"You have no clue what it's like to be me," Killian ripped his hand away from her and stood up. "I'm going to go do some homework in the lobby."

He started walking away from his friends when his stomach growled. He was about to slap it and yell at it to shut up when he bumped into someone.

His least favorite someone.

"Nice speech today, _Jones_," Walsh sneered. "Did you even try?"

"Sod off, Ozland," Killian pushed against his shoulder and kept walking away from him before shouting, "I'm in no mood."

Walsh ran forward until he was standing in front of him. "What do you think you'll get? I think it probably deserved a B- at best…"

Walsh was playing with fire. With a non-overworked, full, and well-slept Killian, he would have just ignored his taunting or said something equally right back. But today, he hadn't eaten anything and was quite sleep deprived.

"SHUT UP!" Killian gowled. He was about to shove Walsh out of the way when a blonde girl suddenly walked over and interrupted them.

"Walsh? I was just looking for…" Emma said, looking between the two. "Oh, hey, Killian. How's it going?"

Killian took a deep breath before he answered, putting on the most genuine smile he could. "Great, but I've got to run. See you Friday," Killian said, doing his best to offer a pleasant conversation. Knowing he wouldn't be able to handle anything more, he turned and continued on his way.

He looked back over his shoulder to find Emma staring at him down the hallway before linking her arm in Walsh's and turning around with him. Her face had been confused and concerned, but she hadn't followed him.

Why would she? She had been looking for Walsh and he was not her boyfriend. She shouldn't be worried about him, and now the heartbreak only added to the fuel in him. He dodged into the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror before whipping out his phone.

"Liam?" he asked when the other person answered. "I'm having a really rough day. Can you ask dad to call in and send me home?"

"Are you feeling okay?" his brother asked, genuinely concerned for his brother.

"Not really, and I just need to get out of here," Killian closed his eyes.

His brother waited a few seconds before answering. "You know your perfect attendance is going to go away…"

"I really don't give a shit, Liam. I can't be here anymore," Killian growled into the phone.

Hearing Killian talk about that must have set off an alarm on Liam's end because he heard a muted conversation before coming back to Killian. "Yeah, dad says okay. I'll be there in 15 minutes to pick you up."

A large breath left his body, and he felt himself relax, although only faintly. "Thank you," he nearly whispered into the phone. He hung up as the bell signifying lunch was over rang, and Killian made his way over to his Honors Physics class.

20 minutes later, he was sitting silently in the passenger seat of Liam's car, watching the scenery pass him on the familiar road back to his house. He was silent as he stared out of the window, praying Liam wouldn't try to talk to him about it.

When he got home, he flew up to his room and locked the door. Lying down on the bed, he closed his eyes, waiting for sleep to overcome him.

It didn't.


	16. Chapter 16

Killian felt like a failure. He had prided himself in having a perfect attendance, and he just threw it away. On top of that, he got his father to call the swim coach to tell him that Killian wasn't feeling well and couldn't make it, and Killian even called the Community Center to tell them the same thing.

When did he turn into this person who skipped out on his responsibilities?

Killian already knew that he was going to be in trouble with Coach Eric. He was _not_ going to be happy that his former star swimmer, who has been getting worse and worse with each passing practice, was skipping an important one. They had a meet against Atlantis High School the very next Thursday, and Killian needed _all_ the practice he could get if he planned to beat Stefan King.

But, instead of going to practice like the Killian Jones everybody knows, he was in his bedroom, lying under his covers, and doing nothing but thinking about how he was a failure.

His phone dinged, and he was tempted to just ignore it. He really was in no mood to talk to anyone – Liam and his father found that out the hard way – and he couldn't possibly think of someone he'd actually want to text right now. But, since he wasn't doing anything anyway, he reluctantly reached over and grabbed his phone, opening it and reading a message from Victor.

_ I'm having a bonfire at my house on Saturday. You better get  
your shit together by then._

Victor's bonfires were always fun, even if Killian thought it might be starting to get too cold for one. But, he knew he had to go back to being the responsible 17-year-old he was, so he declined.

**_ I can't make it. I'm too busy._**

Victor must have been prepared for Killian's response because his reply came almost instantaneously.

_ Make yourself unbusy, because I invited Ruby and Emma  
to come, too._

Killian shot up in his bed, staring at his phone.

**_ You invited them?_**

_ Well, yeah. I wanted Ruby to come, and I didn't think she'd come  
alone. Emma is the only person I know she's friends with, so I  
caught up with them after school and invited them. They both  
_said yes.

Well, now he didn't know what to do. He always jumped at the chance to see Emma outside of school, but he had just skipped school, work, and practice because he couldn't handle the pressure. He didn't feel right ditching the things he was supposed to do but still going to the things he found fun.

He should type no.

**_ Yeah, I can make it._**

_ I thought so. Also, Phil's pissed. You were a real jackass and I  
will not be having you embarrass me in front of Ruby, AGAIN.  
_Do something to fix it by Saturday.

**_ Okay, okay…_**

_ See you tomorrow, unless you're skipping school again._

As tempting as Victor's joke was, he was tutoring Emma that afternoon, and he refused to miss that just to skip school.

**_ No, I'll be there._**

Immediately after sending him the message, he called his best friend to apologize for his rudeness, hoping Phillip would forgive him.

* * *

"Oh my god, Mary Margaret, I'm so excited to go to this bonfire this weekend!" Ruby said, shutting her locker before school started on Friday morning. Emma was silent next to her two friends talking, almost feeling like a third wheel, even if the conversation was mildly about her.

"It sounds fun. I bet you and Emma are going to have a great time." She replied pleasantly, no hint of jealousy in her voice. She had a date with David that night, and she didn't know any of the people going to Victor's, anyway.

Emma rubbed her eyes. She didn't get a great amount of sleep last night. Victor's invitation to his bonfire had seemed to come out of the blue, and her mind had been whirling with thoughts about it nonstop since he asked.

Emma wasn't quite sure why she had been invited, since Ruby clearly would have gone alone. Ruby wasn't shy, she'd be just fine on her own, and Emma knew that Victor knew that. And, if Victor knew that, then there had to be some ulterior motive to inviting her.

Then again, she could be over-thinking things, like she always seemed to do.

"So, who's going to be there?" Mary Margaret asked, still showing real interest in the topic.

"Well, Victor, Emma, and me for sure, and I assume all the people we went out to Granny's with…" Ruby turned to Emma. "You think Killian's going to be there?"

"How should I know?" Emma replied, faster than she would have liked. "I mean, it's not like I really talk to him about things _other_ than our tutoring session."

Ruby rolled her eyes. "Right…"

* * *

"Victor told me you and Ruby are coming to his bonfire tomorrow night?" Killian asked as Emma settled into the desk across from him in Mr. Spencer's classroom.

Emma pushed her hair out of her face as she answered. "Yeah, he invited us last night. You going?"

"Of course! His bonfires are usually pretty fun, and this one will be even more so with the added bonus of the Victor making a fool of himself in front of Ruby," Killian teased, causing a laugh from Emma.

"What do you guys usually do?"

"No two bonfires have been the same, Swan. The only constant is that Gerhardt – his older brother – makes an effort to crash it and tell some embarrassing story about Victor's childhood." Killian chuckled at the memory of Gerhardt animatedly telling them about the time he caught Victor doing some science experiment that exploded in his room, and his dad was _so_ pissed about it.

"I'm sure Ruby will be excited to hear one of those," Emma smiled.

The two sat in silence for a moment before Killian looked down at his pencil. "Ready to start some algebra?"

Emma shook her head. "Not really, but if I plan to go out at all this weekend, we better get going."

Killian's heart tightened at her words. Did she mean go out with friends or go out on a date with Walsh? Hoping she just meant going to the bonfire, he gritted his teeth and ignored his unwanted thoughts, picking up the pencil and beginning their mini-lesson.

* * *

Killian had decided to go to the community center early and swim in the pool on his own. He had his own set of keys, so he would be able to just let himself in without bothering anyone else. He needed the extra practice, so at 5:00 on Saturday morning, he turned on the lights to the big pool and started swimming laps.

It was about 45 minutes in when Killian's back muscles started to burn. He flipped underwater to begin the breaststroke and could feel his body tensing up, but he pushed through the pain. He knew he was doing too much, and he probably shouldn't be swimming this many laps in such a short amount of time, but he had to do it.

He was _Killian Jones_, and Killian Jones won his swimming races.

So for two and a half hours, he swam in the community pool by himself, doing lap after lap around the pool until his fingers were pruned and his body was spent.

Later that afternoon, Killian sat in his room, doing his homework before Victor's bonfire. His body was tired from his morning swim and his mind from the lack of sleep he had lately. The only thing he had to be thankful for was that Emma and her family hadn't come to the pool that morning, and so she didn't see him in his out-of-breath state.

Professor Leopold's notes were staring back at him, but he wasn't reading a single thing. The letters and numbers were jumbled together, and he couldn't understand the concepts because he was too tired. In fact, his eyes kept closing every few minutes, almost falling asleep each time before he willed himself to wake back up.

He was almost out again when his brother popped his head in. "Hey Killian. What do you want for dinner?" he asked.

"Mmm… What time is it?" Killian's voice was sleepy, and he was already on his way out again when his brother answered.

"Almost 6:00." Liam said, causing Killian's eyes to open wide.

He jumped out of his chair, cursing as it fell to the floor in his haste. He almost tripped over it as he ran to his closet, shuffling through all his clothing.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah, fine," Killian snapped back, finally settling on his Mist Haven crewneck that he wore that night he texted pictures to Emma, wondering if she'd notice. "I have to get ready for a bonfire at Victor's and I just didn't realize it was as late as it was."

"No, I don't just mean right now. You just haven't been yourself lately," Liam noted, leaning against the doorway. "Anything you want to talk about?"

Killian stopped at his drawer before turning around with a smile plastered on his face. "Everything's fine, brother. Now, I need to shower before I go."

He knew Liam wasn't buying it, and Killian was glad that _for once_, he just let it go. "Are you having dinner at the bonfire or does Dad need to get you something?"

"Nah, I'm good." Killian waited as his brother studied him before conceding, leaving the doorway and giving him the opportunity to run across the hallway and start the water.

* * *

"Is this it?" Emma asked, pulling up to a big house on the other side of town.

Ruby double-checked the address Victor texted her, then the GoogleMaps app on her iPhone. "Yep, this is it."

The sun was finally setting, and as Ruby and Emma stepped out of the car, Emma could hear chatting, yelling, and laughing coming from the backyard. Ruby looked around before pointing ahead of them. "Victor said we're supposed to just go through the gate, not to ring the doorbell or go through the house." Emma nodded in understanding, walking alongside Ruby through the front yard.

"This house is huge," Emma looked up at the big white house. "I've never seen one so big. I think this is even bigger than Mary Margaret's."

"I don't know… Mary Margaret's is pretty big," Ruby replied as she pulled open the gate's door. Even with the sun already set, Emma could see the gorgeous yard with perfectly cut grass that seemed to go on for miles. It was decorated with various flowers, trees, and plants that gave it a sophisticated look. She could even hear a water fountain in the background. Ruby suddenly turned to Emma. "Nope, it's definitely bigger than Mary Margaret's."

Emma laughed as Ruby eagerly grabbed her hand, pulling her along the rocky path further into the yard. The path winded for a while until they came to a giant opening with light glowing in the middle. Victor looked over and jumped up, walking over to the two newcomers and ushering them to the circle.

"Come on in," Victor said as he brought them to a rocky pit with chairs surrounding it. The fire was already in full swing as Emma and Ruby took their spots, Ruby sitting in the chair immediately to the left of where Victor was. "Want anything to drink? We have Coke, Mountain Dew, Sprite… Anything you want, we probably have."

"Sprite's good," Ruby said before pointing to Emma, "And her favorite is Coke."

Emma smiled because her friend knew her so well. "Yeah, I'll have a Coke."

Phillip stood up. "I need to get myself a drink, anyway. I can just get yours," he said to the girls before turning to Aurora. "Want anything?"

"Water's good."

"Water, Sprite, and Coke, coming right up," Phillip said as he went towards the cooler by the house to get them their drinks.

"The fire feels nice tonight," Aurora commented after she turned back from watching Phillip go.

"Yeah, I thought it might be a little too chilly for a bonfire, but you've got a cozy place out here," Emma said. She looked around the circle and off to where Phillip went, frowning when she noticed Killian wasn't there.

"Killian texted me and will be here soon," Victor said, causing Emma to immediately turn towards him, blushing at the thought that he might know she was looking for him. "Kathryn, too."

"Oh, I wasn't—" But, before Emma could finish her sentence, the gate slammed shut.

"Did I hear my name?" Kathryn joked, Killian following closely behind her. "Were you talking about us?"

"In your dreams," Victor said as the two made their way to the circle. "Did you two come together?"

"No," Killian answered. "We just happened to pull up at the same time." Killian took the vacant spot right next to Emma when Phillip finally came back. "Hey, man," he said, and Phillip nodded.

"Hey, Killian!" Ruby suddenly looked him over. "Oh my god, is that the sweatshirt?"

Emma's eyes flicked down to Killian's chest before hissing, "Ruby!"

But, it was too late. Before she knew what was happening, Killian was smirking and winking and Emma while Ruby had stolen her phone, hacked in, and proudly displaying Killian's _"Look okay?"_ picture from a few weeks ago. Emma could actually feel her face turning pink with embarrassment.

"Good eye, Ruby," Killian complimented as Emma reached over to grab her phone. When she realized it was no use, Emma slumped in her chair, crossing her arms and pouting. "No need for sour moods, Swan!"

Emma was tempted to stick out her tongue, but somehow found a way to stop herself. Instead, she settled for rolling her eyes and taking a sip of the Coke Phillip had brought her.

The bonfire really started to get exciting after that. Emma thoroughly enjoyed the company of Killian and his friends. She was even coming around with Aurora, wishing she hadn't spent the last four years ignoring her neighbor.

Killian suddenly leaned over, whispering in Emma's ear. "Look at Victor, trying to impress Ruby." Emma caught herself before she shivered at his warm breath against her ear, looking over at his friend.

Emma couldn't help the laugh before turning back at him, her face now so close their noses were almost touching. "It's not like Ruby's acting any better…"

"It looks like you're quite the matchmaker, Swan."

"It wasn't all me, buddy. If I remember, _you_ were the one who invited us to Granny's last week, and proposed that study date…"

Emma knew bringing up the library was the wrong as soon as she said it, and her heart ached as she saw Killian's face drop. He sat back in his chair, taking a sip of his own drink, and listening to the conversations around them.

Gerhardt came out as Killian had promised, bringing out a guitar and trying to embarrass Victor before taking it off and sitting down. Victor would never admit it, but Emma could tell he admired his older brother.

He left soon after, forgetting his guitar behind one of the chairs. "Ooh! Killian, you should play!" Aurora suggested, standing up, grabbing the guitar, and walking it over to Killian.

He pushed it away. "No, no one wants to hear me pla…" he said, but Victor interrupted him.

"Come on, Killian!" Victor said, coming over and nudging him.

Emma cocked her head. "You play?" she asked, surprised by the new information.

Killian shook his head. "Not for a very long time. I had to give it up when I started to focus more on school and swimming in high school."

"Oh," Emma said, and she wasn't sure why her voice sounded so sad.

Whatever it was that she said somehow changed Killian's mind. "Alright, alright…" Victor patted his back and walked back over to stand by Ruby. "I'm quite rusty, though."

Emma watched as he magically tuned the guitar, somehow knowing how to make each string sound perfect with the next. Finally, he strummed all the strings to make a chord that filled the backyard. "Any requests?" he asked, changing his fingering to strum another chord.

He turned to look at Emma, as if waiting for her to answer. She put her hands up in surrender. "Don't ask me!"

Killian shrugged. "Suit yourself…" He said, strumming a few chords that sounded awfully like the beginning to the Barney song.

"Come on, Killian! Be serious!" Kathryn begged. "Play something good!"

Killian stopped, seeming to laugh at Kathryn at the same time as wracking his brain for ideas. Emma watched as his tongue darted to the side of his mouth, looking at his fingers on the neck of the guitar. He started moving fingers against it, as if trying to remember what they're supposed to do, while the rest of the circle waited anxiously for him to begin.

Finally, he began strumming his guitar, creating a melody Emma had never heard before sounding from him. She watched in amaze as his fingers traveled the guitar, her stomach churning with each new tone. It was only when he started singing that her breath finally stopped, entranced by the boy sitting right next to her.

_Why are there so many songs about rainbows and what's on the other side?_  
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions. Rainbows have nothing to hide.  
So we've been told and some choose to believe it…  
I know they're wrong, wait and see.  
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.  
The lovers, the dreamers, and me.

Emma shook her head out of her trance to look back at Ruby. She was looking and smiling at Emma before reaching her hand up and holding Victor's. Then, she nodded back to Killian, encouraging Emma to turn back to him. Emma hesitantly followed her silent directions, getting lost in her own thoughts. He looked cute while he was concentrating hard, his eyebrows furrowed because his hands were still trying to remember how to play after years apart.

_Who said that every wish would be heard and answered when wished on the morning star?_  
Somebody thought of that, and someone believed it, look what it's done so far.  
What's so amazing that keeps us stargazing? What do we think we might see?  
Someday we'll find it, the Rainbow Connection  
The lovers, the dreamers, and me.

Emma brought her eyes up from looking at his hands only to find Killian staring at her. His eyes were wide with wonder, his usual smirk gone from his face as he watched Emma with an awe she hadn't seen from a person in a long time. She wanted to look away – she should look away – but there was a connection that couldn't seem to break as he began the bridge.

_All of us under it's spell, we know that it's probably magic…_

Killian smiled at her before looking down at his fingers to make sure he was changing keys correctly. It gave Emma a chance to look around the circle. Some of the group was staring at Killian, others at Emma. Her heart started beating fast and she felt as if she was being watched, everything slowing down as Killian brought it home with the final verse.

_Have you been half asleep, and have you heard voices? I've heard them calling my name._  
Is it the sweet sound that calls the young sailors? The voice may be one and the same.  
I've heard it too many times to ignore it, it's something that I'm supposed to be.  
Someday we'll find it, the Rainbow Connection,  
The lovers, the dreamers, and me.

Killian looked up and smirked at Emma as he plucked the guitar, singing short "la's" over and over again until he sang a final, longer one, strumming the final chord with his words.

The rest of the circle clapped and cheered for Killian and, being Killian, he stood up and bowed to the group. "Here, Phil. It's your turn."

Phillip laughed as he grabbed the guitar from him, starting his own ballad to Aurora, but Emma ignored the whole thing. She told Killian, "That was really good. You should play more." Without warning, she turned towards Ruby and grabbed her hand. "Sorry, everyone. We've got to go."

Ruby pouted as she hugged Victor goodbye, whispering something that caused the boy to smile and nod. She then turned and hugged Killian and waved goodbye to everyone else. Emma, too shaken up, only gave a slight nod to the group before running away as quickly as possible.

She only started breathing again once she was in the car, Ruby slamming the door next to her. "What was that about?" she asked, Emma barely letting her buckle before driving away.

"I can't be around him anymore…" Emma said. "This was a mistake… I have to find a new tutor, I just can't deal with this right now…"

Ruby put a hand on Emma's shoulder. "Emma, you're not making any sense…"

Emma's eyes were prickling with tears when she pulled over to the side of the road to wipe them dry. It was an unlit area, one that no one would be able to see the two teenagers. "I think I might _like_ Killian… Like, a _lot._"

"What do you mean?"

Emma took a deep breath, closing her eyes and hating herself for what she was about to say. "I'm feeling things for Killian that I should be feeling for Walsh." She opened her eyes only to see Ruby staring at her, waiting for her to continue. "And every time I'm around Killian and find out more and more things about him, I realize Walsh isn't as perfect as I thought he was. I don't know what to do…" she whispered. "Did you know I saw Killian shirtless?"

Ruby started rubbing her back in slow, encouraging strokes. "How did that happen?"

"He's Roland's swim teacher, and I went along to a lesson… I tried not to stare, I promise!" Emma felt the guilt take over her body.

"Have you seen Walsh without a shirt?" Ruby asked.

"No," Emma admitted, causing the guilt already there to deepen. "And even though it was an accident, I feel like I'm cheating on Walsh."

"You're not cheating on Walsh, Emma. You have the right to like and be around other guys than just him." Ruby continued her circles, trying to support her. "He doesn't own you."

Emma leaned her head against the headrest, once again wiping the tears threatening to spill from her eyes again. When Emma composed herself, she turned to Ruby with pleading eyes. "Please don't tell anyone about this. I don't need any of this drama right now."

Ruby nodded, agreeing to what Emma was asking. Emma took a deep breath before pulling out into the street again, finding the quickest way to Ruby's house.

* * *

"What the hell just happened?" Phillip asked, suddenly stopping the song he was singing.

Killian's heart had literally melted in his chest. Emma had run out on him. She had this beautiful connection with him, and suddenly it was gone. Killian fell back in his chair, a scowl on his face. "I don't know. I thought she was having a good time!"

"She looked like she was," Kathryn added. "You should have seen her looking at you while you played."

He turned to Aurora and then Victor. "What was that, by the way? I never play guitar anymore, and you both know that."

Victor shrugged. "We were just being good wingmen." Killian threw a water bottle at him and, when he was about to answer, Victor cut in. "She's got it bad for you, Kill." But his words only caused Killian to shake his head no.

"She wouldn't have left if she did."

"That's _exactly_ why she left!" Aurora waved her hands, trying to get him to understand. "You're winning her over, and she's scared because she's with that douche-bag, Walsh!"

Phillip looked proud at his girlfriend's language before turning back to Killian. "She's right. I'm sure she feels like she's wrecking her relationship with Walsh every time she's around you."

Killian thought about it. "Perhaps, but her walking out just shows that she chooses Walsh over me." Killian fisted his hand and slammed it down on the chair's armrest. "If she had chosen me, she would have stayed and hung out more."

"She can't choose you yet," Kathryn said. "She has to break up with Walsh first."

Killian sighed. "Girls are too complicated."

"Amen to that," Victor said, holding out his hand for a high five. Kathryn and Aurora scoffed as Killian gave a half-hearted slap to his hand.

"I think I'm going to go. I've been up since 4:00 in the morning, and if I'm going to go to the community center again to swim before I have to lifeguard, I need to go to bed."

Victor looked down at his watch. "It's only 9:45, Killian! You're never around anymore."

Killian still stood up. "Thanks for the fun time, mate, but I really need to go."

He walked out, patting Phillip's shoulder in another apology on his way out of Victor's backyard. He knew they must be talking about him right now, but whatever they were saying were being drowned out by Phillip's attempt at playing, "We Are The Champions".

He didn't even remember the ride home, or changing, or lying in bed.

The only thing he remembered was Emma's face as she watched him play the guitar, causing himself to make a personal vow to start playing again.

He had enough time for that, right?

* * *

Reviews are SO helpful!


	17. Chapter 17

Killian stood on one of the diving platforms. He crouched down, got into position, and flew offthe board, diving head first into the water. His arms were in a pointed ahead of him as he glided underwater, his legs propelling his whole body to get as far across the pool as he could before he had to come up for air. Once he did, Killian turned to get in the backstroke position, taking his first breath and switching his arms to windmill behind him.

His back muscles were spasming, a fire burning in them as he pushed through the pain. He didn't know if he could do it anymore, but he forced his body to keep going.

He reached the other end of the pool, flipping underwater so he could finish the backstroke back to the original side. His breathing was getting harder and harder, and yet he _still_ forced himself to swim. In that moment, he didn't care about anything other than getting to that other side.

He finally felt his hand touch the side of the pool, and he looked down at the stopwatch he had set up before the lap. 0:52:41.

Eight full seconds longer than his average time.

Killian got out of the pool and reset the stopwatch. Without even giving himself time to calm his heart rate or breathing, he pressed go and dove right back into the pool.

* * *

Emma, once again, had a terrible night's sleep due to Killian Jones. She had finally admitted to herself – and to Ruby – that the weird feelings she had towards Killian weren't weird at all. She was attracted to him, she _liked_ him, and the full realization of it hit her hard.

She closed her eyes and drifted back to the previous night at Victor's house. It had been a lot of fun, and Emma could see herself hanging out with that group of friends on a regular basis. They were funny, kind, and made Emma smile (much like her own group of friends).

Then she remembered Aurora passing Killian the guitar, and him beginning to play. It seemed like the whole place had disappeared except for the two of them, and he was singing only for her. His voice was gorgeous, his fingers strumming the guitar at the exact right moment to accent it. He said he hadn't played in years, and if _that_ really was the case, he was a complete musical genius.

Just like he was a swimming genius.

Just like how he was an _actual_ genius.

Emma sighed in her bed, stretching her muscles as she thought about the boy who had been on her mind nonstop since their initial meeting weeks ago. She closed her eyes, forcing her mind to fall away from him. Walsh was her boyfriend, not Killian. Walsh was whom she was with, not Killian.

Walsh had his own strengths. He was cute, funny, too damn sweet. Sure, he's been a little off lately, but that didn't mean anything. They were just going through a rough patch, like every couple did.

She reached over and grabbed her phone, sliding her thumb across the screen and opening up her messages. She found Walsh's stream and texted:

_ You free today?_

Maybe she just needed a little reminder why Walsh was such a wonderful boyfriend. She's been around Killian more than Walsh lately, and she realized it had been a long time since she hung out with Walsh outside of school.

**_ Absolutely. Want to come over? My parents are going to  
some benefit for my dad's company, so we'll have the  
whole house to ourselves._**

_ That sounds great. When do you want me to come over?_

**_ 2:30? We could watch a movie, and then I'll take  
you out for dinner._**

_ Perfect. I'll see you then._

**_ Great. I love you!_**

_ You, too, Walsh._

Now that she had her afternoon planned, she had all morning to do homework and prepare for this week's math quiz. She refused to have an extra tutoring session with Killian today – despite how much she admits she needs it – and so she had to do her best to study on her own.

* * *

Emma showed up at Walsh's house right at 2:30. She rang the bell, and he answered right away with a huge smile. She hugged him, gave him a quick kiss, and let his fingers lace within hers as he dragged them to his family's living room.

"What do you want to watch?" Walsh asked, opening up his family's collection of DVDs.

"Surprise me!" Emma said. "But make it good. I don't want to watch any gory action movies today… Or scary!"

Walsh laughed. "You've narrowed my choices down to romance, comedy, and kids…" Walsh said, running his fingers along the spines of the DVD cases as he thought. Finally, he pulled one out, opened it, and stuck it in the player before Emma had a chance to see what he chose.

He settled down next to Emma, a bowl of popcorn already made on the coffee table, and settled in next to her. He pulled her close to him, brought a blanket over the two, and placed the bowl on their laps. Emma tucked her legs under her body as she leaned back into him, Walsh bringing his arm up over the sofa top to rest his hand on the opposite shoulder.

Emma waited patiently until the theme started playing, and Emma smiled and grinned, playfully slapping Walsh's chest. "Really? The Muppets Movie?" she teased.

"You left me with very little selection!" Walsh exclaimed, picking up a piece of popcorn and tossing it into Emma's mouth. "Besides, you told me you've never seen this before." Emma chewed the piece and opened her mouth to rebuttal, but he just stuck another piece in. "Shhh! We're going to miss the movie." Walsh tilted his head towards the TV and pulled Emma closer.

Emma had always thought The Muppets were cute, but she had never gotten around to seeing the movie. As it began, she felt a smile tug on her face, watching the kid's movie play before her.

Something about the movie and sitting with Walsh just made every thought she had about Killian drift away. This was simple, easy, and she really enjoyed being around Walsh in stolen moments like this. When the movie was almost done, Emma turned to Walsh. "You're right, this movie is cute, and just what I needed."

He smiled back at her, kissing her forehead, before turning back to the movie himself. Emma nestled into the seat, and in that moment, she was completely content. She really did enjoy being around Walsh, and as Kermit danced across the screen, she officially remembered why she was happy for him to be in her life.

Suddenly, an unfamiliar – or recently familiar – tune started playing, and Emma's heart stopped. Walsh was bobbing his head to the music, seemingly unaware of Emma's sudden stillness.

The song that Killian sang last night was playing. Kermit the Frog started singing the same lyrics to the same tune that Killian had just sang to her. Every feeling she had for Killian came rushing back to the front of her heart, as if this great afternoon with Walsh never happened. If she wasn't mortified and afraid Walsh would discover what happened last night, she would have thought how unbelievably dorky, but cute, it was that Killian had chosen a song from this movie.

Emma couldn't figure out what to do. She had three options: ignore it and go about her day with Walsh, make up an excuse and leave, or tell him the truth about where she was last night and what that song means to her.

It was the easiest decision in the world.

Emma turned to Walsh, feigning surprise. "Oh my god, Walsh, I totally forgot about something I have to do tonight. Can I take a rain check on dinner?" Emma could tell her voice was off, but she had to get out of there as quickly as possible.

Walsh made a sad face when he turned to her. "We haven't been alone together in weeks, Emma. Can you reschedule at all?" He was honestly sad, which made the whole situation _that much worse_ for her.

"Wish I could." Emma stood up, grabbing his hand to get him to stand with her and walk her to the door.

Walsh stared at her for a second, and just when Emma was going to unlace their hands and leave without him walking to the door, he said something that made her stop in her tracks. "You've been distant lately…"

Emma's eyes shot to his, her heart pounding in her chest as her hand began to sweat against his. "I have to go," she said again, trying to turn around but stopped when Walsh stood up and blocked her from the hallway.

"Please talk to me, Em…"

Emma let out a deep breath before shaking her head. "Walsh, I'm so sorry, but I really have to leave now if I want to—"

"Does this have to do with Jones?"

Emma immediately shook her head, hoping he couldn't see the lies behind her motions. "Why do you think everything I do lately has to do with him?" She wishes her voice wasn't so defensive, so threatening, but she was tired of having this same conversation with him over and over again.

Emma could visibly see Walsh's throat tighten, and it broke her heart to be breaking his. "I can't figure out any other reason you're acting this way, and I wouldn't put it pass him to try to take you from me…" He barely got the words out, and if the realness of his insecurities hadn't been so true, she would have been frustrated with his possessive words. Emma decided to let it go as she brought her vacant hand up to cup his cheek.

"Look at me," she said, waiting until his eyes met hers before she continued. "There is nothing going on between me and Killian. He is only my tutor. I'm _forced_ to be around him. You must know I would choose to be around you any day." Lies.

Walsh nodded, swallowing nothing before he leaned down for a tiny kiss. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have assumed…"

"I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow," Emma replied. "Maybe just the two of us can go out for my birthday next weekend or something."

"Anything," he said, using the hand he was holding to guide her towards the door. "Have a nice night, Emma."

Emma gave a weak smile. "You too, Walsh. Text me if you need anything."

Without another word, Emma left his house and drove the familiar roads back to her own. Her life was driving her crazy, but she pushed everything to the back of her mind, letting all unwanted thoughts drift away.

But her brain had other plans as the tune to _The Rainbow Connection_ began playing in her mind.

* * *

Mary Margaret texted Emma that night asking if she wanted to go to dinner and Granny's with her and Ruby. Emma jumped at the chance to go out with them, happy to have an alibi if Walsh asked her the next day.

They were talking about everything, from Mrs. Darling's physics class to the upcoming Sadie Hawkins dance. It was good to be around them, the easiness of it all reminding her how much she missed it being just the three of them, without boyfriends to create drama.

"Oh my god! Did you hear about Ashley Boyd?" Ruby asked, leaning in and taking a sip of her vanilla milkshake.

"No. What?" Emma asked. Ruby loved to gossip and, while Mary Margaret and she pretended they didn't like to, who could deny a good rumor every once in a while?

"She's pregnant!" Ruby murmured, a little louder than she probably should have if it really was a secret.

Emma's eyes opened at the news – something this scandalous never happened in Storybrooke. She spun her straw in her own milkshake and brought a couple fries up to her mouth, waiting for Ruby to continue the gossip and feeling terrible for her classmate.

"Oh, poor girl. Who's the father?" Mary Margaret seemed curious, causing Ruby to grin with satisfaction. She loved being the person to give them the news.

"Sean Herman!"

"Ah, I always liked those two. I feel bad that they're going to be parents so young…" Mary Margaret replied.

"Sean's dad is apparently super pissed. He wants Sean to stay away from Ashley."

"Do you know what they're going to do?" Mary Margaret asked.

"I heard that Ashley's stepmom is making her put it up for adoption."

Without thinking, Mary Margaret blurted out, "It's just so sad that the kid is going to grow up without knowing who its real parents are."

Ruby drew in a loud breath while Emma let the fries fall from her lips. Mary Margaret looked at Emma from across the table. "Oh, Emma, I didn't mean…"

Emma couldn't help the frown that overtook her face. Usually, she would have been able to brush it off without any hesitation, putting another brick into her wall so her friend didn't see the problem. But, with her birthday growing so close and aging out of the system just on the horizon, Emma couldn't bring herself to save face for her friend. "I need more ketchup," she said, quietly, standing up and leaving for the counter before Mary Margaret could say anything to make it worse.

In the background, she heard Ruby say, "I'll go talk to her," and before Emma knew it, Ruby was standing right beside her. "Hey, everything okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just feeling guilty about Killian and Walsh, I guess…" She settled for a half truth. She knew she shouldn't lie to Ruby – especially since she's been the most supportive friend out of all of them – but even admitting that she would be aging out of the system was too hard to handle.

Ruby seemed to buy it, at first. "Is that why you're here with us? Did you do this because you felt guilty about Killian?" she whispered, now that it was just the two of them. Emma had to hand it to her – when Ruby promised to keep a secret to her, she kept that damn secret to the grave. "You told me you were going to hang out with Walsh today, but here you are."

Emma frowned at her friend's spot-on question, even if it hadn't actually been the source for her leaving the table. "We were watching The Muppets and that song Killian sang last night came on. I tried to leave, and we had this big discussion about Killian."

"What did you say?"

"I told him that he was my boyfriend and that I want to be around _him_, while I was forced to be with Killian. I thought it would relieve this guilt that's been building up these past few weeks to be with him, but now it's only making me feel worse." Emma reached for the ketchup packets and turning towards Mary Margaret, still alone at the table. "We should get ba—"

"She's fine," Ruby interrupted, giving a small wave to Mary Margaret before turning back to Emma. She quieted her voice again. "Emma, you _have_ to figure this whole Killian thing out before you do something stupid. You can't just run away from Walsh because _a song_ makes you think of Killian."

"I know, I know. I just can't deal with this right now!" Emma cried.

Ruby shook her head. "You keep saying that, but I have no idea what that means. _Why_ can't you deal with it? Just because it's high school drama?"

Emma hated talking about being a foster child, and her friends knew it. They of course knew Emma's situation, but it was a topic was rarely brought up. Emma finally felt a tear escape her eye as she admitted what has been bottled up since Regina's visit a few weeks ago. "No. It's because I'm aging out of the system – that's why I got so upset when Mary Margaret brought that up. My birthday is next Wednesday and I'll be 18, and Robin and Marian and my social worker and the state don't have to be responsible for me anymore. And that's so scary and I can't breathe. So, adding the drama of Killian and Walsh, and my high school graduation that will _only happen_ if I pass math, is just making me go insane."

Ruby wrapped her arms around Emma and holding her close. "Why didn't you tell me? I can't imagine trying to go through that alone."

Emma shook her head. "Robin and Marian said they think of me as their own child and want me to continue living with them even after Wednesday, but I still have this terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach about it."

"They're never going to kick you out, you _know_ that!" Ruby said. "They love you too much."

"They only love me because they can't have kids of their own. Soon, the state will offer them a younger, less broken version of me and they'll want to take them on, instead."

"You know that's not true…" Ruby said.

"They've had four years to adopt me, and they didn't." Emma shrugged before trying to get out of Ruby's arms, Ruby reluctantly letting go. "And so the pressure of that is making my life so much harder."

"So, just take a break from everything for a while. Just be with the girls…" Ruby said, as if it was that simple. "Drama between your tutor and boyfriend is the least thing you need right now."

Emma took a deep breath to steady herself when she saw Mary Margaret trying to look at them through her peripheral vision. She wiped her eyes and smiled at her friend. The two of them walked back to the table and, before either of them were even able to slide in and sit back down, Mary Margaret was already talking.

"Oh, Emma. I'm so, so sorry!" Mary Margaret said, completely oblivious to the real reasons Emma was upset right now.

Instead of either Ruby or Emma trying to correct her, she replied, "Of course, I forgive you."

* * *

Killian fell on top of his bed, disregarding every ache and pain his body felt from swimming. His stomach growled because he had skipped dinner and worked so hard, but he ignored it. He slowly turned his head to the right, looking at his unopened backpack and frowning. He needed to do homework, needed to catch up on his work.

"Fuck it," he cursed to himself as he closed his eyes, not even changing into pajamas before falling asleep.


	18. Chapter 18

Killian's sudden "not giving a shit" attitude was the cause for his lateness. He woke up at 6:50, only to realize he wasn't going to make it to student council in 10 minutes. In fact, it was going to be a rush to make it to school on time at all. What a great way to start the day – hell, the week! – especially as he was recently elected the student council president.

Right then, he wished he had never run for the damn position, nor joined the damn council as a freshman.

Killian sat up, scooting back towards his headrest in an attempt to wake up. He fisted his hands and rubbed them against his eyes until he saw stars, then continued to run his hand through his hair. Taking three deep breaths, he finally willed himself to stand up, skipping a shower altogether and not grabbing anything for breakfast.

It was that day that Professor Leopold passed back their math tests. Killian's heart started beating quickly, and if it were possible, he could feel his blood start to boil. Professor Leopold called each name in alphabetical order, and when the last name "Johnson" came up, he prepared himself for the worst.

"Killian Jones!" Professor Leopold yelled from the front of the room, and Killian made his way down to his desk. He passed back the test, and Killian closed his eyes, refusing to look at it until he was back in his seat.

Killian looked around him to make sure none of the other college students were watching him, then finally opened up the packet to find his grade.

His heart plummeted out of his body when he saw "79%" written in big numbers at the top of the paper.

79%. He had never gotten a 79%. He quickly tried to do the math in his head, hoping beyond all hope this test wasn't going to affect his grade _too_ much. It would bring his overall grade to a 94%, just barely above the A-range.

The professor went over the test with everyone, and Killian took vigorous notes to make sure he knew what exactly he did wrong, and what he needed to do to improve it. He was so embarrassed as he saw all the red marks written over his paper, and he hunched himself further over his test to make sure nobody else saw.

Professor Leopold started going over the lessons for the day, and Killian stuffed the test into his backpack until it was crinkled at the bottom. He wrote down everything that was on the chalkboard, highlighting the things he said would be important, and before he knew it, the class was done for the day.

Killian packed up as quickly as he could, wanting to get out of the lecture hall as fast as possible.

Unfortunately, Professor Leopold had other plans.

Just as he was racing out of the room, Professor Leopold called out, "Killian? A word?" Killian stopped in his place, almost knocking over the kid behind him in the process, before painting on the fakest smile he could and agreeing.

"Yes, professor?" Killian asked, shifting in his spot while Professor Leopold erased the board.

He set down the eraser and turned to Killian. "I was surprised with your test from last week, Killian."

Killian hung his head in shame. "I apologize. I have been having some scheduling trouble lately, and the math test just got pushed to the bottom of the list. I promise I'll do better next time."

"College is hard, Killian, and you can't let exams slip like that."

"I know…" Killian finally looked up to find Professor Leopold still staring at him. "Is there any extra credit I could do for the course?" Killian couldn't believe he was offering to do _more_ homework, but he couldn't think of any other way to boost his grade.

"Unfortunately, I don't give out extra credit, nor do many college professors." At his teacher's word, Killian's frown deepened.

"Well, is there _anything_ I can do to get back on track?" he asked.

"You could come to office hours for extra practice. They're Wednesdays at 3:00-4:00."

"I'm sorry, but I tutor every Wednesday at that time." Killian couldn't help but notice the irony behind his words.

Professor Leopold studied him before caving. "Look, Killian. You're a bright student with a good future ahead of you. As long as you get A's on the rest of your exams in my class, you should still get an A for the term."

Killian nodded, thanking him. "I'm sorry, but I need to get back to Storybrooke High. I have my AP Language and Composition class in 15 minutes, and I'll just make it back in time if I leave now."

"Of course, of course," Professor Leopold said. "Just remember your priorities, Killian."

"Will do," he replied, smiling and waving as he left the room.

Just as he predicted, he got back to Storybrooke with minutes to go before AP Language and Composition began. He slid into his seat, breathing heavily as he tried to calm his body down.

"You okay?" Victor whispered from behind him.

Killian shook his head. "Not really. I just got a C on my math exam."

Victor's eyes widened, but before he could say anything, Walsh cut in. "Well, well, well. I never thought I'd see the day where _Killian Jones_ got a C."

"Shut up, Ozland," Killian said, his defeated body flooding with anger. "I'm in no mood," he warned.

"Emma sure was yesterday," Walsh grinned, and Killian opened and closed a fist. He didn't think he could hate Walsh any more than in that moment.

"_Don't_ talk about Emma that way!" Killian was going to defend her more until Mr. Midas came into the room.

"Settle down, class," he said, and Killian couldn't help but hating the bell that rang for class to start. He had a few choice words for Walsh that died as soon as the class began.

AP Language and Composition was usually an easy class for Killian, but his mind was elsewhere the entire time. Between the C he got on his math test to sleeping through student council, his day had been bad enough. He was doodling in his notebook, ignoring the class altogether, until he heard, "Okay, it's time to pass back your persuasive speeches."

Killian's head shot up, hating his luck. He was already upset about his math grade, and now he had to get a second poor grade back. Killian pounded his head against the desk, hoping that Mr. Midas had given him some salvation.

His teacher meandered through the rows of students, finally walking up to Killian's desk. He passed back a yellow piece of paper on top of his accompanied persuasive essay. When Killian looked at it, he noticed the 1-10 scale that was aside each criterion he needed to meet for the speech.

Killian's chest burned when he saw that there was not one single 10 circled. In fact, the highest he had gotten was a written in 8.5 on delivery. "Shit," he whispered to himself, so quietly not even his own ears could hear.

Mr. Midas started explaining how he graded each speech when the bell rang for lunch. Killian opened his English folder, stuffed it into a pocket, and was about to run to the bathroom to compose himself when Mr. Midas mirrored Professor Leopold's words from earlier. "Killian? Could you come here for a second?"

Dorothy, Zelena, and Walsh snickered as they left the room, and as Killian trudged up to his teacher, the classroom slowly vacated.

"Is everything alright, Killian?"

Killian couldn't help the irritation that was in the back of his mind. Why did _every damn person_ ask him that? "Of course, Mr. Midas. Why do you ask?"

"Your speech and paper wasn't up to your typical standards, and I just wanted to make sure everything at home was okay."

"82% is a B, is it not?" Killian asked, and he could tell his tone had been ruder than it meant to at Mr. Midas's taken-aback expression.

"Well, it's a B-, but you're not a B student," Mr. Midas explained his concerns. "And all week, you've been refusing to answer any of my open-ended questions in discussion. Something like that usually doesn't happen to a star student unless there is something else going on."

Killian shook his head as he shrugged. "I guess I just dropped the ball on this one, Mr. Midas. I promise it won't happen again." Out of the blue (or maybe not so out of the blue), Killian gave a big yawn, doing everything in his power to hide it behind a hand and clenching his teeth together.

Mr. Midas gave him a disapproving look before giving an expression that showed disappointment. Killian refused to give in, opting to ask if he could leave for lunch. "Yes, yes. I'll see you tomorrow, Killian."

The rest of the day for Killian went by in a blur and, before he knew it, he was changing in the locker room with his swim team, preparing for their practice. "Was Coach Eric pissed when I wasn't there last Thursday?" he asked Phillip after they grabbed their towels and headed to the pool.

"I'd say more irritated than pissed. He's noticed your poor performance lately, and I'm sure he didn't think it was that great that you missed a practice so close to our meet against Atlantis."

Killian sighed. "Well, I've been swimming my ass off at the community center pool, and I'm hoping it's paid off." Once they got into the pool, Killian saw Coach Eric greeting all the swimmers before settling on Killian. He used one finger to motion that Killian needed to come talk to him, and Killian turned to Phillip and gave a frown. "It looks like he wants to talk to me. I'll see you in a bit."

Killian cursed to himself as he thought of how it was the third time that day that an adult wanted to talk to him about his poor performance in life. What was worse was that he really liked Coach Eric and always enjoyed it when he made him proud. It felt good to know that his swim coach was one of his biggest supporters, and he has been ever since Killian joined the team as a freshman.

"Hi, Coach. What's up?" Killian asked, trying to be as nonchalant as possible. His heart was racing and had sweaty palms, nervous for what Coach Eric had to tell him.

He just ignored Killian's question. "What is the rule about missing practices?"

"I know, I know, but I promise I've been practicing really hard on my own to make up for my performance lately. I think you'll really notice a difference today – please don't sit me out at the meet against Atlantis!" Killian hoped that Coach Eric would let it slide, that he would see how hard Killian was working at look over his recent shortcomings.

"Because you're captain and my best swimmer, I'm going to give you a warning. If it happens again, I'm going to have to sit you out." Coach Eric placed a hand on his shoulder. "It's almost time to start races for state. I don't want you to miss out on it, but I can't be as generous next time."

"Understood," Killian said before adding on a "Thank you so much!"

"Show me what you've got and that can be your thanks. Is there anything else you need to talk about before practice starts?"

Everything that was going on was at the tip of his tongue, but the words, "Everything's fine," came out of his mouth instead.

Killian started stretching his muscles on the way to the pool, praying that they wouldn't seize up like they have been at the Community Center. He needed to prove to Coach Eric that he had indeed been practicing, that he was worthy of his captain title.

But, as soon as he hit the water, he knew that he'd have no such relief. After only one backstroke, he knew he was going to have a rough practice. The pain shot through him faster than lightning, and the only way he pushed through it was knowing that Coach Eric wouldn't give him a third chance.

It stung.

It hurt.

He couldn't do it.

He _had_ to do it.

His motions were getting sloppy and his speed slowing down, but he kept swimming anyway.

It seemed to take forever for Coach Eric to blow his whistle and say practice was over, and Killian couldn't even look him in the eye as he grabbed a towel and booked it out of the pool. Phillip was close on his trail, but only slightly.

Once in the locker room, before either of them had a chance to change, Phillip forced Killian to look at him. "Kill, _what_ is the matter with you?" His tone was nothing more than friendly, a genuine concern for Killian's well being. "You're really starting to worry me. You don't seem to care about this, and it used to mean so much to you."

"I don't know what you mean," he lied. "I've been practicing like crazy because I love swimming." If this conversation would take much longer, he wouldn't make it to the community center in time to teach. Trying to subtly tell him this, Killian dug through his locker and pulled out his duffel bag, stuffing his clothes in it and finding the first white t-shirt in there. He slipped on his shoes without tying them and grabbed his coat, not even putting it on. "I've gotta go. See you tomorrow." Killian brushed past his friend and started walking out of the room before he could follow.

Aurora, as always, was waiting in the hallway. "Hey, Killian," she said as she smiled, her face falling as she saw Killian's still-wet state and swimsuit. "You might be a little chilly if you go out there in that. You're going to catch a cold."

"I've got no time to change," Killian said, passing her. "Plus, now I don't have to change back before teaching."

Aurora opened her mouth to give a little lecture, but Killian was too far away. He went outside, and the brisk air pricked his skin. _"Fuck!"_ he cursed as he ran to his car. He'd been cursing like a sailor lately, and he would have been ashamed if more pressing things hadn't been on his mind.

The drive to the community center was short, but the walk from the parking lot to the building wasn't. He shivered as he grabbed the same duffel bag for his swim practice and raced inside, hoping that moving would warm him.

It didn't.

He jumped in the pool immediately, not even taking off his white t-shirt. The pool used to make him so calm and happy – everything was second nature. Now, the chlorine was rubbing away at his skin and his muscles hurt more than ever. Looking at the large clock, he saw he had 15 minutes, so he closed his eyes and let his legs float to the top.

He let the water move him across the pool, not caring where he was being taken. He let his arms float to the side, not moving a muscle to keep the pain at bay.

He started humming to himself – he'd be lying if he said it wasn't The Rainbow Connection – and just waited until he heard the first sounds of four-year-olds shuffling in the pool.

Killian didn't even remember the swim lesson. He just reviewed everything the kids had already done instead of teaching them new material. Then, he just let them play games and splash in the water, a haze coming over him.

All he wanted to do was sleep.

Killian shooed the families out the best he could without being rude before digging through his duffel bag and finding his stop watch. He moved his arms back and forth, stretching the sides of his body before stepping up to the diving board.

He reset the clock, squatted into position, pressed the go button, and flew into the water.

* * *

Killian drove back to his house, just following the motions while watching out the dark front window. He parked in the driveway and, before leaving the car, he leaned his head back upon the headrest, closing his eyes.

His body was tired. Everything from his forehead to his toes couldn't move from the car, and as he listened to the quiet nothing of the night, his brain couldn't stop churning with memories of the day.

Today could possibly have been the worst day of his life. There was nothing that went right, and as he thought about what he went through, he wanted to cry. It was too much pressure, and he couldn't handle everything.

But there was nothing he could do. He wasn't willing to give up _anything_, and so he just had to figure it out.

He's still just trying to figure it out.

When his neck began to ache from the hard cushions of the car, Killian reached over and grabbed his backpack and duffel bag. He opened his car, and trudged up to his front door, using the bare minimum it took to find a way into the house.

He dropped his duffel bag immediately and slipped off his shoes, walking through the hallway towards the stairs. He tip-toed through the kitchen, jumping in surprise when his brother was sitting at the table. Killian really thought he would be in bed already because Tuesdays were his early day with the Navy.

"You're home late," Liam said, nodding his head towards the clock. He saw it said 9:30, and Killian hadn't even realized he practiced at the pool for that long.

"My bad." Killian walked towards the opposite side of he kitchen towards the staircase up to the second floor. "Goodnight."

He hadn't even heard Liam stand up, but he suddenly felt him tug on Killian's arm, using a gentle force to turn him around. "Did you have dinner while you were out?"

"No. I was practicing at the pool after work."

"There's some turkey in the fridge. Go heat some up."

Killian would be lying if he said he wasn't hungry, but he didn't have time to stop everything and have a full dinner. "I still have at least two hours of homework to do. I just need to get upstairs and finish it." Killian tried to pull his arm away, but Liam only tightened his grip on him.

"We need to talk," he warned, using a tone that told Killian he had no other option than to sit down and listen. "Now."

Killian would have fought if he had more energy, but he conceded. He somehow walked over to the table, dropping his backpack on the floor and almost falling into the chair. Even with Killian's protests, Liam heated up the turkey and slid it in front of him. Killian pushed it away as his only form of control, but pulled it back when Liam threatened, "I'll feed it to you myself if you don't do it."

Killian grabbed the fork and brought a piece up to his mouth, chewing the juicy meat and waiting for whatever Liam had to say. He swallowed, took a sip of the water Liam had placed in front of him, and began whatever conversation they were going to have. "What do you want to talk about?"

"Eat," he said, nodding towards his plate and only answering once Killian put another piece in his mouth. "You're not happy, Killian."

"I'm fine," he replied with a full mouth. He would have been more polite, but this was the fifth time someone was trying to have this kind of conversation with him today, and he didn't want to go through the motions again.

"No, you're not. I'm your big brother, and I need to you to tell me what's wrong so I can help."

Killian drank some water, looking down at his plate while he used his fork to make a smaller piece of turkey for him to eat. "What do you want me to say? That my life is hell right now? That I don't give a damn about anything? Is that what you want from me?"

"Is it the truth?"

Killian's breathing suddenly became erratic, and he once again fought the tears trying to escape. "Everything's fine, Liam." Killian looked up at his brother, his throat tightening.

Liam sat back in his chair, putting his hands behind his head as he watched Killian. "Eat," he ordered again, and Killian brought the newest piece up to his mouth. "Is this about school?"

Killian frowned as he swallowed this time, his voice shaky when he answered. "I'm getting A's in all of my classes." It wasn't a lie, per se, but he omitted that he got a C on his math test and a B- on his speech.

Liam nodded to the plate again, waiting before asking his next question. "Is this about swimming?"

"Big meet's on Thursday – I've just been doing a bit of extra practicing."

Liam adjusted in his seat, reminding Killian to take another bite. "Is this about work?"

Killian quickly covered his shaking jaw before Liam could see it. "They're high school jobs – they're as good as they can be."

Finally, Liam asked the question that Killian had hoped he wouldn't ask. "Is this about Emma?"

Killian dropped the fork and pressed his fingers to his temples, trying to portray annoyance instead of pain. "Please just drop it, Liam. I have too much to do."

Liam leaned forward, putting a single hand on each shoulder. "Eat."

Killian put the final piece of turkey into his mouth, unable to look at Liam when he chewed. "Happy?"

"Far from it," Liam answered. "Killian, I know you think you need to be this A-student, this star athlete, and this perfect person, but you _don't_. If life is making you unhappy, you need to figure out what's causing the pain and eliminate it. You're wearing yourself too thin."

"My life is _fine,_" Killian repeated. "Even if it wasn't, I don't have anything I can cut out. I just need to figure everything out."

"Stop saying that, Killian!" The force in his voice surprised Killian, and his head shot up to look at his brother. "It's not a matter of figuring everything out anymore! You need to get your shit together before you fall apart."

"By what? Quit the swim team? Drop out of Mist Haven? Lose my jobs? These aren't things I can just cut out, Liam! This is what _my_ life is."

"You're putting too much pressure on yourself. It's okay to be normal…"

"Normal didn't get me into Harvard, Liam. Being captain of the swim team did. Acing the SAT's and getting a 4.0 did. Being student council president did. _That's_ how I got into Harvard, and now I have to work _that much harder_ to make sure I can stay." Killian shrugged out of Liam's grasp. "I can't deal with this right now, Liam. I have double the homework than I should because I skipped doing it last night." He stood up, believing that was the end of the conversation, but Liam wasn't having it.

"Go to bed, Killian. You need sleep."

"_That's_ not an option. I have too much to do."

Right before Killian could put his foot on the bottom stair, Liam budged in front of him. "It's not up for debate. You're a minor, and you have to do what your guardian says."

Killian pushed right past him. "Good thing you're not my guardian then, huh?" He felt Liam's eyes on him all the way upstairs, and he made a show to prove he was in charge of his own life.

Because of Liam's talk, Killian had to stay up until nearly 2:30 in the morning. By the time he woke up, he found himself still at his desk in last night's clothes, a bit of drool dripping onto his calculus textbook. He turned around to see his door open, which only meant someone had checked on him in the night.

Killian closed it, quite irritated with Liam butting in with his life. He changed as fast as he could before he slipped out the door, making sure nobody could see him leave.

* * *

_**REVIEWS HELP THE MUSE!**_


	19. Chapter 19

On Wednesday, Killian was sitting in Mr. Midas's class. His teacher was going over the differences between MLA and APA writing formats, and Killian knew he should listen. While all of his high school essays had been MLA, Mr. Midas pointed out that most college essays would use APA, and that it was important to learn it now before he had to figure it out on his own next year. Killian had every intention of paying attention and learning, but his eyes kept drooping shut. Every few moments, he'd jerk awake, only to realize his pencil had drawn a wavy line on his notebook paper.

"Now, in APA, if you plan to use one source to back up your paragraph, there are two ways to credit it. You can either cite the source out at the beginning of the paragraph or at the end – your choice. If you use more than one source, you have to write each one out each time. But remember, you only need to use the last name and year of your source."

Killian dug his fingernails into his left hand, trying to use the pain to keep him awake while he took notes with his right. It wasn't until Phillip gave him a concerned nod to his hand that he realized that he had actually pressed so hard, he broke the skin.

Killian raised his hand and waited to be called on. "Mr. Midas? Can I go to the nurse's office?" He held up his hand slightly to show the little bit of red pooling on his palm.

Mr. Midas eyes glanced towards the clock, noticing there were only three minutes left of class before lunch. He frowned, and Killian could tell his teacher had every intention of talking to him after class. "Sure. Take your backpack with you, and you can go straight to lunch."

"Thanks," Killian said, standing up after packing his bag and dashing out of the classroom. His hand really didn't hurt that much, but he still went to the nurse to get her to clean it out and bandage it up.

The bell rang right at lunchtime, and Killian went over to his regular table and put his backpack on top of it. Slowly, he fell into his seat, setting the timer on his iPhone for 23 minutes, placing it upon his backpack, and laying his head on his hands on top of it. He had every intention of spending his lunch hour sleeping and resting up so he wouldn't fall asleep in his afternoon classes.

He heard someone sit down next to him and, without knowing whom it was, Killian asked, "Can you make sure I'm up when the bell rings?" He yawned as he kept his eyes closed.

"Aren't you hungry for lunch?" Victor asked, and Killian just took in a deep breath to get his body to relax.

"I'm more tired than hungry, so I'm settling for sleep, instead."

He hadn't even known that Phillip sat down, too. "Coach Eric wouldn't be happy to find out you're skipping meals. Your body needs the energy to swim."

"I'll eat an extra big dinner tonight to make up for it," Killian promised. "Right now, I can't even think I'm so exhausted.

Killian knew his friends were probably having a silent conversation above him, but as he listened to the tune of seniors talking and eating lunch, he slowly fell into a light sleep, letting himself forget everything he had to do for the night.

* * *

"I don't want to go, Ruby… I don't want to see him!" Emma said, pacing the girls' bathroom after school. "Do you know how awkward this is going to be? I just ran out of the bonfire after him singing. He's going to think I hate him and his friends!"

"You'll be fine, Emma. You and Killian have this connection with each other." Ruby bit her lip, trying not to laugh and her bad attempt at a pun.

"Is that supposed to be funny? This is my life, Ruby!"

"Okay, okay, sorry. Look, just compliment his singing quickly and get it out of the way, then you'll just have a normal tutoring session."

Emma paused and thought about it. "You think so? You don't think he's going to make a big deal out of it?"

"I'm positive. He didn't make a big deal about the picture a few weeks ago, so if you just go in there and act normal, he won't do so about this." She turned the two of them around, linking their arms to leave the bathroom. "It will be as if we went to that bonfire and stayed the entire time."

Emma sighed, nodding in agreement. Ruby walked and talked all the way to Mr. Spencer's room, Emma only nodding and saying "Really?" a couple of times to act her part of the conversation out. "Okay, go have a good tutoring session!" Ruby said, turning around. "And text me about it afterwards."

Emma rolled her eyes before walking into the classroom. "Hey, Killian," Emma mumbled as she went across to sit in the vacant desk in front of him. "How've you been since Saturday?"

"Exquisite," Killian gave her a side grin, and Emma could tell he was lying, but about what, she didn't know. "How about you, Swan? How'd your quiz go Monday?"

"I got 7.5, but I guess that's better than the 5 I got last week, so I'll take it."

Killian reached across to place his hand on top of hers. "I promise you'll get this, Emma. Math's hard, it takes time."

"Math isn't hard for you!" she whispered, and she saw Killian still before retreating. "Look, about the bonfire…"

"Did everything work out at home?"

Emma was confused. "Huh?"

"You left abruptly, so I assumed there was something at home you had to take care of. Is Roland sick?"

"Oh, no, he's fine. I just wanted to say that you play and sing really well. I was surprised to hear you'd given it up, since you have such a talent for it." Emma smiled. "The song you played was beautiful."

"I've recently decided I'm going to give it a go again. Playing the other night just reminded me how much I enjoy music and miss it. Now, I just have to find the time for it…" Killian joked, but his smile didn't reach his eyes. "You never know, maybe I'll be a music major in college."

"Do they even _have_ that at Harvard?" Emma teased, trying to make his smile real.

"Well, we'll just have to see next year. What's on today's lesson plan?" Killian asked, reaching over and grabbing her notebook. "Ah, factoring quadratics." He looked up at Emma. "I'm not going to lie, Swan, this is a tricky concept for a lot of people. You're going to have to work hard at it."

Emma nodded in understanding, and Killian began the lesson for the day.

When 4:00 rolled around, Killian said he had to excuse himself. "Will I see you there tonight?" he asked. "Or will Marian be bringing Roland?"

"No, both of them have to work. I'm bringing Roland by myself."

"Well, then I shall see you tonight." With a deep bow, he turned and walked out the door.

* * *

Emma was sitting beside the pool, watching Roland kick the water with the rest of his classmates and Killian. Not having anything else to do, she looked down at her phone and started texting Ruby.

**_What are your plans next Friday? My birthday's next week  
_****_and I'm thinking of doing something for it._**

_What did you have in mind?_

_** I don't know, just a few people over at my house I guess.  
**_**_You, Mary Margaret, David, Walsh, August._**

_What about Killian and Victor?_

**_I think we both know that Walsh and Killian can't be in  
_****_the same room…_**

_I had a date with Victor planned for that night, but I guess  
__if you don't want to invite them, I can reschedule with him…_

Emma thought about her party. Having Victor and Killian there – hell, even Aurora, Phillip, and Kathryn – would make the party so much more fun. But, she knew she couldn't do that to Walsh, and she knew she had to put him over Killian.

**_I honestly don't think I can invite them._**

_Okay, just let me text Victor and let him know I have  
__to reschedule._

**_ You don't have to…_**

_I'm NOT missing my best friend's 18__th__ birthday party._

She smiled at the comment. The idea of friends and birthday parties was a foreign one to her. Even though she'd been with Marian and Robin for four years, she had spent 14 years without people caring about things like that. Rarely any friends, no birthday celebrations… The mere concept that someone would change plans just to celebrate her birthday made her smile.

Emma heard Killian's whistle, and she set down her phone on the side table next to her. She reached into Roland's bag and pulled out a towel, opening it wide for him to dry off on.

"Emma, I love swim classes!" Roland said, jumping up and down.

"Hold on, kid. I gotta dry you off before you can go in Marian's car." Emma rubbed the towel all over him, putting it on his hair last before giving him a sweatshirt and his shoes to put on. "So it was fun?"

"Yeah, and Coach Killian is the greatest! And I've met so many new friends!" Roland waved at Killian from across the room.

Killian waved back before taking the few steps it took to get over to them. "Great job today, lad." He held up his hand a little too high for Roland, making him jump up to hit it. "Ooh, strong arms."

Roland smiled up at him. "It's cause Marian and Robin make me drink milk." He said it so proudly that Killian laughed, and even got a chuckle from Emma.

"Well, you're going to grow very strong if you keep drinking the right liquids." Killian then turned to Emma. "Have a nice night, Swan. I'll see you Friday for our next tutoring session."

Emma nodded. "Yep, Friday." Emma looked around and noticed she and Roland were the last family there. "I guess we better get going."

Emma helped Roland buckle into his car seat and took the short drive back. Once inside their house, Emma reached into her back pocket. "Shoot!" she said, causing Marian to turn around from the dinner she was making.

"Everything okay, Emma?"

"Yeah, I just left my phone at the pool. I have to go back and get it." Emma reluctantly slid her shoes back on. "Hopefully someone's still there so I can get it."

"Want me to drive?" she asked, turning off the stove.

"Nah, it'll be a short trip. I'll probably be back before dinner."

Emma grabbed the keys and her purse before walking to the garage and turning back around.

As soon as she parked, she went over to the pool doors, hoping she didn't have to walk all the way through the front lobby to get it. She sighed when the first pair of doors didn't open, and reluctantly went on to the one next to it.

She heard a "click" and she brought her left hand down in triumph, walking into the darkened room.

Her eyes immediately went to the table she had set it on, and a breath of relief came out as she took the shortest path to it. Right as she was about to pivot back out without saying anything to anyone, she noticed a dark haired boy swimming the butterfly at the far end of the pool. She watched as he made it back towards the other side, hearing grunts of pain all the way down.

When he hit the wall, he looked at a stopwatch. "Shit!" he muttered aloud before resetting it. He pushed himself up out of the pool and, dripping water, he went to stand on the diving board.

"Wow. You're really fast," Emma said before he could start again, causing Killian to fall into the pool with such a splash it got her wet.

"Emma!" he said, swimming over to her. "What are you doing here?"

Emma held up her phone. "Left this here and couldn't think without it." She placed her phone and purse down on the side of the pool, away from the water, before kneeling before him. "You seemed to be flying in the water! How do you even _do_ that?"

Killian looked upset at the comment. "I'm actually a lot slower than I used to be," he admitted. "I don't know what's gotten into me lately, but that last lap was about 5 seconds longer than it usually takes."

"Well, I can promise you'd be faster than me. I've never learned to swim at all."

"Never?" Killian asked, a curiosity behind his words that told her he wanted to know more.

She wouldn't be able to tell him why she never learned without delving into her whole history, so she settled for shrugging. "I guess I never got around to it."

Without knowing what was happened, Killian had reached forward and pulled her into the water. She let out a little scream as he did so, and when she came up from the initial shock, she breathed heavily. "Well, I think now is as good of time as ever to have a swimming lesson, don't you think?"

"I could have drowned!" she said, trying to steady herself in the water.

Killian waved his hand and dismissed her comment. "I'm a lifeguard. I'd easily be able to save you. Besides, that's the point of this lesson, is it not?"

"I'm in my clothes!" she said looking down at herself. Just as she was about to paddle to the side of the pool, he splashed her with water. Emma turned around quicker than she thought she could in water. "Hey!" in retaliation, she splashed some water back, even though she hadn't been able to use the same force he had been able to.

Killian wiped the water off his face, laughing before using his feet to swim away from her. He made a big deal to kick the water so far, it would splash her again. Emma couldn't help the laughs that came out of her mouth, finally conceding. "Alright, teach me something so I don't drown if you're not here… Or so it's an even fight in our next water fight." _Our? Next?_ The words had come out so easily, without her even thinking about them. Why did he _always_ have that effect on her?

Killian bowed his head before coming back to her. "Okay, hold on to the edge of the pool – yep, just like that on your stomach – and kick your legs like so." He demonstrated what he wanted her to do. "This is how your feet are supposed to paddle when you're in the water."

Emma followed the directions, clumsier than she would have liked to be in front of him, but got the hang of it. "Okay, now I'm ready to do whatever you were just doing."

Killian laughed again before shaking his head. "Unfortunately, lass, you have to learn the basics before anything else. Here, you should learn how to float." He grabbed her hand and brought her out into the middle of the water. "Lean back," he said, quietly. "I'll have my hands right underneath you in case you dip below the surface."

Emma took a deep breath before leaning back. She closed her eyes and heard Killian say, "Good." Emma tried to concentrate on the water around her as she felt Killian bringing her feet up towards the surface, using her arms to steady herself. "Relax," he said, smoothly. She nodded before resuming her old position.

"I feel awkward," she giggled. "What am I supposed to do with my hands?" she asked, opening up one of her eyes and squinting at Killian.

"You're just learning to float right now, so put them wherever you feel comfortable." Emma placed them on her stomach and tried to calm her body down. "You're doing it, Swan!"

Emma opened her eyes and looked forward at herself, causing her to tumble out of the position and fall deeper underwater. She kept her head above the water, and Killian was instantly by her side, pulling her up further. He wrapped her arms around his neck and encouraged her to put her legs in a sitting position upon his own, and then he used his own arms to float them in the water. "See? The water's not as bad as you think."

Emma stared at Killian. She could see the deep blue of his eyes even in he half-lit pool. Killian's smile faded until a longing look came over his face. He was watching Emma with a type of warmth and intimacy that seemed too intense for where they were, but she couldn't bring herself to break the eye contact from him.

They sat in the water, drifting with where the current was taking them, listening to the soft waves. It was peaceful and serene, a break from everything she had been dealing with at the moment.

It was because of this easiness that she hadn't even noticed Killian leaning in towards her, and it wasn't until he gently placed his lips upon hers that she knew he was kissing her. Emma closed her eyes, just feeling the moment. Instinctively, she leaned in to Killian to deepen their kiss, moving one of her hands up to thread her fingers in his wet hair. It wasn't anything other than a press of his lips upon her own, a sweet taste of something that could be more if only she had met Killian first…

Without warning, her eyes shot open, and she pushed back from him, doing her best to keep her head above the water. "What the… What are you _doing_?" She dipped lower, splashing her arms around in an attempt to stay afloat.

Killian reached forward, trying to pull her up, but it only made her jolt away. "Emma, please, don't panic or you'll—"

"Stay back," Emma said, trying to get over to the side of the pool. She dipped underwater, and she felt the water go into her nose. The chlorine burned her eyes, and she opened her mouth to try to breathe upon instinct, only causing water to spill into her lungs.

She felt Killian's hands lift her under her armpits, wrapping her arms around his neck so he could pull her to the side. Emma's eyes were shut tight, holding onto Killian's neck for dear life as he paddled them to the edge of the pool. She was coughing water out of her mouth, struggling to take in air.

He pulled her off his back and placed her onto the pool tile beside the water. She heard Killian push himself out of the water and, dripping wet, was kneeling next to her in mere seconds. "Emma? Emma? Come back to me!" He patted her cheek, trying to get her to open her eyes.

When she did, she saw Killian let out a deep breath, a look of relief taking over him. Suddenly, tears were in his eyes. "Emma, I'm so sorry, please forgi—"

Emma used all her energy to sit up, pushing herself away from him. "No!" Emma yelled, and her voice echoed through the large room. She stood up and started walking towards her purse and phone.

She felt a hand on her shoulder. "Emma, you should rest after what—"

Emma turned around quickly, pushing his hand off her shoulder. "I'm _fine_, Jones," she spat at him. She didn't think his face could get any sadder, but it had. She heard Walsh use his last name, and it must have struck a chord with Killian – exactly what she was hoping for in that moment.

She finally got to her purse and phone, sweeping down and grabbing it in one fluid motion. She saw the exit in sight, and if she hadn't been so out-of-breath from the pool, she would have began to run. She heard Killian yell, "Emma! Wait!" but she ignored it, pushing the door open and walking to her car.

Emma didn't even care that she was dripping wet as she got in the car. She'd apologize to Marian later if there ended up being any real damage. She locked it, hitting the steering wheel with her right hand, causing the car to honk. Emma leaned back on the headrest, her lip trembling as her eyes closed. She wanted to cry, wanted to scream, but she couldn't do anything other than sit in the dark parking lot.

He kissed her, which meant all of Ruby and Walsh's suspicions that he had a crush on her were true. She had attempted to ignore her own feelings when she thought he was just being nice, but now knowing that he liked her? It meant that the feelings were mutual.

She couldn't do anything about it, though. She was dating Walsh, and _he _should be the only boy she was kissing. She brought her left hand up to her forehead, leaning her elbow on the door as she tried to figure out what to do. Every time she closed her eyes, all she saw was Killian's sad face and heard his voice pleading with her to stay.

Emma grabbed her phone and brought up her messages to Ruby before typing:

**_ Killian Jones is definitely NOT coming to my birthday party._**

* * *

That had been Killian's first kiss. Ever.

Killian had spent so much time pining over a girl who didn't care for him how he cared for her, and now he's ruined any chance of being with her. Emma was right. What was he thinking?

Killian jumped back into the pool, leaning his head against the back edge and letting his body float in front of him as he put his right hand on his lips. Even though it was brief, it had been a good feeling. Her lips had been warm, soft, just like they had looked like they'd be.

_Shit_, he fucked up.

He imagined his first kiss to be slow and passionate, dreamed of Emma moaning with pleasure as their lips pressed together. He knew _that_ would have been a long shot – he'd never kissed a girl before, he wouldn't really know what he was doing – but that had been what he imagined it would be like.

He didn't think she would freak out and almost drown trying to get away from him.

Killian struck the water, causing a huge splash to fly through the air. He did so again, and again, trying to get all his frustration and unhappiness out of him.

He broke his femur when he was six, and he had his appendix out when he was nine. When he was thirteen, he broke two ribs, and when he was sixteen, he got stitches. And, most recently, his body hurt _every damn time_ he got in the water. He thought he knew pain. He thought he knew agony.

But the pain of his broken heart? _That_ was too much to handle. His chest felt like it was going to rip apart while his body stayed numb. He hadn't even realized he was crying until he felt the saltiness of his tears stinging his eyes.

He got out of the water and went to the locker room, the pain in his heart hurting more and more with each step.

Killian felt like he just went through the motions, not remembering a single thing he had done in between changing and walking in the front door. He dropped his backpack and duffel bag, slipped off his shoes and shrugged off his coat. He floated through the front hallway, to the kitchen.

Liam was sitting at the table again, obviously waiting for him. "No, I haven't eaten dinner, Liam, but I'm not going to." Killian could tell his voice was tight, that there was a hint of devastation lining the words. "Goodnight."

Killian kept his head down and his eyes closed so his brother couldn't see him. He put a foot upon the first step, praying his brother would just let him go.

"Are you crying?" Liam asked. Killian heard Liam stand up and begin to walk over to him.

Before his brother could reach him, Killian shook his head. "I'm just wet from the pool," he answered, taking the stairs two at a time before his brother could ask him any more questions.

Once in his room, he rummaged through his drawers to find something to wear to bed. The pajama pants that he wore in Emma's picture was on the top of the pants drawer, taunting him with memories of a happier time. Killian grabbed them and threw them across the room, not even noticing where they landed as his heart ripped apart again.

When he finally settled on something to wear, he slithered into his bed, under the covers. Laying on his side and curled up in a ball, he closed his eyes, willing himself to forget everything what happened that night.

* * *

_I'm so sorry... But that has been planned from the beginning._

**_Reviews help the muse!_**


	20. Chapter 20

Killian hadn't slept all night because the only thing he could think about was the disaster from the previous evening. Every time he closed his eyes, he remembered seeing her face when she pulled back from him, how she walked away without giving him a chance to talk, how she had _almost drowned_. His heart felt like it was squeezing, his chest wanted to burst, and after locking himself in his room, he couldn't help the sobs that escaped his throat.

That had been last night.

It was because of that that he found himself in the kitchen the next morning, in that early hour that he shouldn't be up. He had made himself a cup of coffee and was eating an apple, although each time he swallowed, he gagged a little bit more. He was staring straight ahead of him, his brain numb and tired.

"Hi, Killian," his father said, rubbing his hand in Killian's hair as he walked by.

"Hey, Dad." Killian ran his hand through his hair to fix it before dropping it, not caring at all what he looked like. He wasn't going to see Emma today. Hell, he may never see Emma _again_. He really had no reason to try to look good anymore.

"Ready for the big meet against Atlantis today?" his dad asked, pouring his own cup of coffee. "Thanks for making this, by the way." He was dressed in a suit, about to leave for work.

"No problem." Killian's voice was monotone, quiet, and hoarse. "And I'm as ready as I can be."

"I already talked to my boss and I'll be off in time to come to the meet if I leave now and go in early."

Killian turned around to look at his dad, his heart suddenly beating fast and hoping he wouldn't come. "You don't have to. I know you're busy, and you've been working a lot more lately." He was racing so poorly – he didn't want to disappoint his father.

"All to help my son pay for Harvard, boy. I'm proud of you, and I don't want to miss a single moment." His father poured the rest of his coffee into the sink and rinsed out his mug, "I'll see you this afternoon." He patted his back before leaving the kitchen and going to the garage.

Just as Killian heard the garage door close, his brother stepped into the kitchen. Killian's shoulders dropped, knowing his brother was going to sit down and force a conversation out of him.

"What do you want for breakfast?" Liam asked.

Killian held up his half-eaten apple. "I'm good."

Liam continued into the kitchen, making and preparing his breakfast. Killian took another sip of the hot liquid, letting it fall down his throat in an attempt to wake him up. His brother hadn't brought anything up so far this morning, and Killian thought that maybe he wouldn't.

That was, until he sat in the chair opposite of Killian, pushing a plate of eggs and toast towards him. "Here, have this."

Killian, knowing better than to fight it, took the food and started eating the eggs. As he swallowed the food, he felt sicker than he had before. Liam got up and made himself his own plate of food and cup of coffee before coming back.

"Are we going to talk about last night?" he asked, taking a bite of toast.

Killian shook his head, swallowing the eggs before answering. "Nothing to talk about."

"So crying is just a normal thing for you to do now?"

"I wasn't crying," Killian tried, lamely.

Liam studied his brother and leaned in. "I can help, you know. If you just tell me what's wrong, I can help you figure everything out."

"You can help by believing me when I say I'm fine." Killian, only having a fifth of what Liam had made him, stood up and dumped the rest of his plate in the garbage, rinsing off all his dishes before his brother could protest.

"I would believe you if it was true," Liam said, "But it's not."

Killian turned around to face him. "Are you coming to the meet this afternoon?" He crossed his fingers behind his back, hoping he wouldn't come because it would just give Liam another reason to hound him about his life.

"I haven't missed one of your meets yet."

Killian forced a smile. "No, I suppose you haven't." He walked over and grabbed the keys from the island in the kitchen. "I have student council this morning," he lied. "I'll see you this afternoon."

His brother frowned as he said goodbye, and Killian could feel Liam watching him drive away through the window. It was too early to go to school, but he figured he could just go in and study in the main hallway before school started.

While he was sitting in the lobby, he saw his teachers and other students enter the school. He didn't notice them as he read _To Kill A Mockingbird_, taking notes on the characteristics of Atticus Finch.

"Hello, Killian!" He heard his name and snapped his head up.

"Oh, hi, Mr. Spencer," he replied. "How are you this morning?"

"Good, good. I was going to ask you to stop by my room this afternoon, but I'm glad I caught you now. Can you come for a little chat?"

Killian nodded to his favorite teacher. "I'll be there in one moment, I just have to pack everything up." He put away his book and notebook, following the familiar hallways to Mr. Spencer's classroom.

Mr. Spencer was opening his briefcase and placing graded tests on his desk. When Killian walked in, he sat down at his desk, gesturing towards a desk in the front row.

"What did you want to talk about, Mr. Spencer?" Killian asked, hoping his question sounded genuine.

"I wanted to talk about Emma," he said, and Killian's heart nearly stopped.

Did he know about the kiss? Of course not, it just happened last night. There was no way he could have known, right? "Uh, what about Emma?"

"You've been her tutor for about a month now, and her scores have not been improving at the rate I had assumed they would be."

Killian let out a soft breath, relieved about what this discussion was about. He couldn't help but think how odd it was that he was _happy_ that this is was a conversation about him being a bad tutor, but compared it to the alternative discussion they could be having… "I know she hasn't, but we've been meeting twice a week since the initial meeting."

"And how has she been doing in these sessions? Is she paying attention or is something else happening that's distracting her?"

Killian shook his head. "She seems to be following the material. Usually it takes her a few times to get it, but eventually she does." Mr. Spencer stared at Killian, only causing him to continue. "Well, she typically takes about seven minutes on a question, and so maybe she might be feeling pressured that she doesn't have enough time to finish during test limits. Maybe she's rushing to finish instead of actually trying?"

"Maybe," Mr. Spencer said. "Well, keep working with her. If she doesn't improve in another month, Mr. Jefferson and I will have to pair her up with a new tutor."

"Understood." Killian couldn't decide how he felt about that. On the one hand, he wouldn't get to spend time with Emma anymore, but on the other, maybe a break from her is exactly what he needed.

"Now, another thing I needed to ask…"

"Of course," Killian said, snapping out of his thoughts and concentrating on Mr. Spencer.

"Mr. Midas tells me you haven't been performing to your full potential, and after asking your other teachers, Mrs. Darling and Mr. Marco, I've learned that you're not doing well in any of your classes."

"That's not true!" Killian replied as quickly as possible. "I'm still getting all A's! Not even one A-!"

"I suppose I phrased it wrong, then. What I mean is, you don't seem to be trying in your classes to have the top grade as you had in the past. I just wanted to check in and see if there is anything wrong?"

"Nope, nothing wrong."

Mr. Spencer stood up and walked around to the other side of his desk until he was standing right in front of Killian. "I've been told a lot of fibs in my time as a teacher – my dog ate my homework, I'm not feeling too well. I just never thought I'd be told one by you, Killian."

Killian put on his best smirk, trying to show the confidence _Killian Jones_ usually had. "And you have yet to be told one by me, Mr. Spencer. Believe me – you'd know if I was lying."

Mr. Spencer gave a nod. "If you insist, Killian, but feel free to come and talk at any time. Now, go on before you're late for first period."

Killian stood up and put his backpack on. "Thank you. I promise Emma's grades will improve."

"I hope so."

* * *

**_ Can we talk?_**

__**_Please don't ignore me, Swan._**

**_ I'd really like to chat for a bit._**

**_ Emma?_**

"Your phone's been buzzing like a bee, Em. Who is it?" Walsh asked at lunch, about to lean over and look at who was texting her.

Emma immediately put it to sleep. "Robin," she replied without any further explanation.

Walsh raised an eyebrow. "Are you not going to respond? He's been texting you like crazy – it must be really important."

"It's not," Emma replied before turning to the table and changing the topic. "So, you guys all know that next Wednesday is my birthday, right?"

"Yep," Walsh said, leaning over and kissing her temple.

"I was thinking about having everyone over to Marian's and Robin's and we could just hang out. What do you think?" she looked over the table and caught Ruby's eye. She ignored it as she continued on.

"Sounds fun to me," August said, taking a sip of his milk. "Although it's your eighteenth birthday – wouldn't you rather go out or something?"

"We're teenagers in Storybrooke. The only thing we'd be able to do is go to Granny's, and we do that all the time, anyway." Emma's glance flickered to Ruby again, and there was something she clearly wanted to say, but she held her tongue.

Mary Margaret reached over and placed her hand on Emma's. "It sounds wonderful," she said. "We'll be there."

"Answering for David now?" Walsh joked, causing him to roll his eyes.

"Please, like Emma doesn't answer for you," David teased back right as her phone buzzed again.

__**_Emma, we really need to talk. Please?_**

Emma read the text before shutting her phone off completely. Ruby stood up from the table. "I'm going to go say hi to Victor. I'll see you after lunch."

Emma and her table watched Ruby leave before starting another conversation about Emma's birthday.

* * *

__**_Even texting is fine! Just, please respond!_**

Killian sent the message and leaned down on the lunch table again. Emma hadn't been responding to her texts all day, and Killian couldn't concentrate on anything else because of it.

"You look like hell," Victor commented. "Did you sleep at all last night?"

"I don't remember," Killian replied, honestly. "Maybe."

"Please tell me everything's going to be okay this afternoon against Atlantis!" Phillip said. "I know you have a lot going on, but this is an even bigger meet than Nottingham, and that Stefan King has been undefeated all season."

"I have, too." Killian sent _another _text to Emma. He knew Phillip was just nervous himself for the meet, and wasn't trying to bug him, but he couldn't care less about the meet right now. All he cared about was getting Emma to respond so they could talk about the previous night.

Out of nowhere, he felt a hard tap on his left shoulder. He jerked in fear before turning around to see whom it was. "Ruby!"

"We need to talk, now." Ruby grabbed Killian's wrist and got him to stand up. "Watch his stuff please, Victor," she added with a wink as she pulled him into an alcove in the front lobby. It was blocked off, and virtually unknown by the underclassmen, so it was the perfect spot for private conversation.

She finally let him go when they were by themselves. "What happened with Emma last night?"

Killian's hands started to sweat. "Um, what?"

"One minute, we were talking about you and Victor maybe coming to her birthday party next weekend, and then the next, she said there's no way she'd ever invite you. Plus, she's been shaken up all day. She's my best friend, I have a hunch that this behavior has to do with you, and since _she_ won't tell me, I need you to."

Killian looked around them in the deserted hallway before leaning in closer. "Okay… I'm only telling you because it's been beating me up all day and maybe you can get Emma to talk to me, got it?"

"I can't promise anything – she's a _very_ stubborn girl – but I can try."

Killian sighed, looking away and avoiding her gaze. "We kissed last night and it was kind of a disaster… Well, I guess _I_ kissed _her_…"

Ruby took a deep breath. "Why would you _do_ that?"

"I don't know… I've wanted to since the moment I met her, and it just felt like it was the right time." Killian started playing with his hands. "I've been texting her all day, wanting to talk and apologize about it, but she won't respond to me."

Ruby looked like she was holding back a secret. "Look, she's not the kind of girl you can just kiss when you feel the mood is right. She's got some personal issues that I'm not going to go further into, but it's caused her to have this wall that she puts up. You had been slowly knocking down bricks – actually, faster than I've ever seen, but slow nonetheless – and you need to figure out how to fix it before her wall's even higher than before."

Killian started using bigger gestures as he tried to prove his point. "I _know_ that! But I can't fix anything unless she's willing to talk to me, which clearly, she's not."

Ruby pointed her index finger at him, using a stern voice that only a best friend would use. "Fix this before it's too late." Ruby pivoted away, walking towards the girl's bathroom just as the bell signifying lunch was over rang.

Killian ran to his lunch table, grabbing the backpack Victor was holding out for him. "Thanks, man."

"What was that about?" Victor gave Killian a grin. "Me, I assume?"

"You wish."

* * *

Killian jumped up and down in his spot by the bench. He couldn't seem to get himself to relax as he watched the Atlantis High School swim team walk in, Stefan King leading the bunch through the pool. His coaches had always told him he was naturally good at swimming – that he had some sort of gift in the water – but that never calmed his nerves too well.

"What a bunch of stuck up prats," Killian said when he felt Phillip standing behind him.

"Yeah, well those _prats_ are doing really well this year." Phillip cracked his neck. "Ready?"

Killian looked up into the stands to see his brother and father. They were both sporting "Storybrooke High" shirts and chatting with each other about god knows what. They must have felt Killian looking at them because they looked down at him and waved. Killian nodded his head in acknowledgement before turning back to Phillip. "As ready as I can be. I've been doing an extra two hours of swimming every day, so let's hope it has paid off."

Phillip whirled around to face him. "Killian, I had no idea you were swimming _that _much. You're going to be overusing your body if you're practicing that much."

Killian gave Phillip a look before looking back at his family. "It doesn't matter. I needed the extra practice if I have any chance of beating Stefan today."

The whistle blew for the 50-meter butterfly. Phillip looked like he wanted to continue the discussion, but had to settle for, "Well, that's me. Wish me luck," so he could go to his podium and race.

"Good luck, mate," Killian replied, walking over to the bench to watch the meet as Phillip went over to the rows of diving boards.

Killian barely watched Phillip's race, stretching out his body. He reached his arms over his body to stretch his side, rolled his head around, and leaned forward on the bench until his back muscles relaxed.

Phillip was victorious in his first race, and when he came back over, Killian gave him a high-five. "Congrats, Phil."

Phillip nodded as he took in shallow breaths. He sank into the spot next to Killian just as the announcer yelled for the 100-meter backstroke racers to come to the diving boards. Killian did a quick scan up to the bleachers to see his brother staring at him with skeptical eyes as his father clapped.

Killian stood up and walked over to the board labeled "2" and climbed up to get into the position. Killian looked around him at the people he would be racing against. He's seen most of the faces in the past, but none of them caused a real threat. He looked over at Atlantis High School's bench and noticed Stefan sitting, causing Killian to let out his breath. He wouldn't be racing his biggest competition this time, but that only let him relax momentarily as the buzzer went off to get in position.

He closed his eyes as he waited for the signal and, when it finally came, he dived into the water.

Memories of the last time he was in the water flooded his brain as he reached the surface, turning onto his back to allow his arms to propel him backwards. Emma bobbing above and below the water after he kissed her, her panicked motions as she tried to get away from him… The visions were as vivid as if it was happening right then and there. His heart started to restrict in his chest as he continued across the pool. The heartbreak was back, and he closed his eyes to try to concentrate on his physical pain, instead.

It was only then when he realized his arms were on fire and his back was seizing up. He flipped underwater to go back to the other side, trying to use the water to push him along. Killian could feel himself getting slower and slower, his legs paddling with less gusto than usual. He took a deep breath as he continued through the pool, praying to whatever God could hear him that he wouldn't come in last.

When his hand hit the edge of the pool at the end of the race, he turned around and looked down at the water, scared to see what his time was. He arched his head to look at his brother and father, noticing that Liam sat still, watching Killian's every move.

When he heard the other swimmers start to get out of the water, Killian finally looked up at the scoreboard. 1:32:17. It was slower than usual, obviously, but as he looked up at all the other times, he noticed he had somehow pulled in a bronze medal. He let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding as he pushed himself out and back towards the bench. He couldn't straighten his legs as he walked over, and his muscles kept locking with every step. Phillip held out a fist for Killian. He halfheartedly punched it and slumped back in his seat, refusing to say anything in fear his voice would waver.

It was time for his hardest race, the 200-meter butterfly. He looked over at the Atlantis High School bench and noticed Stefan King standing up. Killian tried to push every single thought out of his mind as he continued on to his platform. The buzzer rang, and the race was off.

Killian's body couldn't take it anymore. He tried to push his arms in the way it knew how, he tried to ignore the pain in every muscle, but between overworking his body and his broken heart, he just couldn't do it anymore.

It was then that he finally settled on going through the motions instead of trying to win.

After multiple laps across the pool, his hand finally hit the side of the pool, and he gripped on to the wall tight to make sure he wouldn't fall in. Slowly, he lifted his eyes to the scoreboard. 2:42:41.

He didn't win.

He didn't win by a long shot.

In fact, he didn't even place at all – for the first time ever.

Killian turned his head to the side to see Stefan jumping out of the water, his teammates running over to him and screaming, the parents from the stands cheering him on for beating the _nationally ranked Killian Jones_. His bottom lip started to tremble as his eyes slowly made their way up to the bleachers to find his dad clapping for him, a disappointed smile on his face. He shifted to look at his brother, who was frowning in his seat.

Killian knew that he wasn't frowning because he lost the race, and he knew that there was going to be a long discussion between brothers when he got home that night. He dreaded the thought as he waded in the water.

Suddenly, Killian saw a hand in front of his face. He looked up to find Phillip offering him help to get out of the pool. Killian didn't know if he could get out, he didn't think his legs would be able to stand upon the ground. Killian eventually reached up and grabbed his hand, almost falling when his feet hit the floor.

Phillip reached Killian's arm over his shoulder and walked them to the benches, grabbing their towels and helping him out of the poolroom. "You have to go get your gold medals," Killian said weakly. "You won all your races today."

Phillip just looked forward as he pulled Killian into the locker room. He helped Killian sit down on one of the benches before crossing his arms and leaning forward next to him. "How are you feeling?" he muttered.

"Like my body is on fire," Killian groaned as he shifted to lie on the bench. "I need a minute before I can sit up."

Phillip finally looked over at Killian with sad eyes. "Look what you're doing to yourself, Killian. Do you know how hard it is to watch you fall apart without knowing how to help you?"

Killian closed his eyes on the bench, his breathing finally going at a normal rate. "You don't have to worry about me, Phil. I can take care of myself – I'm fine."

Phillip jumped up from his spot on the bench and slammed his hand on the locker, startling Killian from his position. "Killian, you're _not_ fine! Look at you! You can't even sit up right now!"

"I—"

"You didn't even _place _in one of your races today, and got third in the other! And, you dropped out of one all together! I remember being on the swim team our freshman year, and I've never seen you not win. Even your worst strokes were better than my best – even better than the upperclassmen. And look at you now! You just lost – big time."

"Don't you think I know that?" Killian nearly yelled. "Don't you think I know that I'm not doing well?"

"So what can I do to help you?"

Killian fought every muscle in his body as he sat up and stood, moving to stand right in front of Phillip. He wasn't sure how long he was going to be able to be upright, but he needed to prove that he was okay. "You can't." Killian willed himself to walk away, leaving a wet trail behind him. "Come on. We have medals to go get."

* * *

Killian got his sole medal of the day and skipped out on pictures. He got to the Community Center just in time to teach his class. It felt like it droned on forever and, for the first time in weeks, he didn't stay to practice laps after teaching. He was barely able to keep his head up for the students; he knew when to accept defeat.

He ran to his car and bolted out of the parking lot, but he drove around Storybrooke to kill time. Killian was hoping that maybe, just maybe, if it was late enough, he wouldn't have to find his brother waiting in the kitchen. Once he made it back to his house, Killian had no interest in talking with him, and instead opted for sliding in the back door and sitting in the laundry room, spying into the kitchen to wait for Liam to leave.

Liam sat in his chair, not doing anything but looking at the clock on his phone every few minutes. Killian waited and waited for Liam to leave. He leaned his head back against the laundry room closet door, closing his eyes and giving in to an unsettling rest.

He didn't know how long it was, but when Killian opened his eyes, he saw Liam kneeling right before him. It caused him to jump a little. "Bloody hell, Liam! What are you doing?"

"I should be asking you that," Liam replied. "Why are you sleeping on the laundry room floor?"

"Why are you always so _nosey_, Liam? I don't have to tell you _everything_!" Killian looked up at his brother, feeling like a little child caught in a lie. "I'm here because I didn't want to talk to you, but you refuse to go to up to bed. I must have accidentally fallen asleep as I waited for you to leave."

Liam's eyebrows shot up at his brother's confession. "Very well," he said, standing up and offering Killian his hand. "I'll back off."

"Thank you," Killian muttered as he pushed past his brother. "Goodnight."

Killian could feel Liam's eyes watching him as he treaded upstairs but, once in his room, he lost any care he had. All he cared about was the soft blanket calling to him as he lay down on his bed.


	21. Chapter 21

**_A/N: _**_Here it is: Walsh and Killian's back story. It's another Emma-less chapter, but I think you all won't mind too much – especially since it is about 6500 words. _

_For those who don't know, varsity is the best team a high schooler could make for a sport, JV (junior varsity) is the next level down, and then I made a third freshman-sophomore team. _

_Also, high school grading is based on a 4-point system. 4.0 is the highest you can get (unless you're in one of those schools that does that weighted 5.0 system – don't get me started) and to keep the 4.0, you need to get all solid A's. As soon as you get one A- (3.667), or B+ (3.333), etc., your 4.0 goes away and you can't ever get it back (you could be at a 3.999, but still won't ever get back to the 4.0 - that's why it's such an accomplishment for students like Killian who have kept it all four years)._

_Finally, I know that this isn't how swim team tryouts really happen, but it's needed for the story. _

_Thanks again to my betas: Emma, Caro, and Kat!_

* * *

**3 years ago…**

"Killian, this is your peer ambassador, Walsh Ozland." Mr. Spencer introduced the boy next to him by holding out his hand. He was a scrawny boy with messy brown hair, sporting a Storybrooke High School green and white hoodie. "He's going to help you figure out your way around the school this week."

Killian looked at Walsh with scared eyes. He just moved to America a week ago, and he was still getting adjusted to the new culture shock. Walsh held out his hand, offering it to Killian to take. "Nice to meet you, Killian," he said.

Killian took the boy's hand and shook it three times before dropping it. "You too, Walsh." Killian tried to hide his accent the best he could, but he could tell in Walsh's eyes that he had noticed.

"Walsh is one of our brightest and most talented ninth graders here at Storybrooke," Mr. Spencer said, giving a proud smile and tapping Walsh's shoulder. "You're in good hands with him as your ambassador."

Walsh beamed with pride. "You're too kind, Mr. Spencer."

"Well, why don't you show Killian around the school before his first day here tomorrow?" Mr. Spencer suggested, pushing Walsh towards Killian. "It was nice to meet you, Killian. I'll see you tomorrow in math class."

Mr. Spencer went behind his desk and started rummaging through a drawer, allowing Killian and Walsh to slip out of the room.

"Where are you from?" Walsh asked in polite conversation.

"Ireland. Just moved here last Wednesday." Killian was looking up and down the hallways, noticing brick walls filled with posters and awards. "The American school system sounds confusing."

Walsh chuckled. "It's easy to figure out once you live it for a couple days. Are you liking it here so far?"

"I don't know many people," Killian admitted. "And I'm really missing some of my friends from back home. But, my dad got a job offer here he couldn't refuse, so my brother and I packed our stuff and hopped on over here."

"Well, Storybrooke High is pretty good school. You'll fit in here just fine. The other freshman have only been here for a little over a month, anyway, so you're not too far behind." Walsh guided him into a large room with lots of tables set out. "This is the cafeteria for lunch. You can either bring something from home or get something from the kitchen. We have 25 minutes to eat before we have to go back to class." Killian nodded in understanding as he followed Walsh to the next location. "So, what do you like to do in your spare time?"

"I played guitar in band and sang in choir, and I was on the swim team back home."

"Really? I'm a swimmer, too!" Walsh said, smiling at Killian. "In fact, swim team tryouts are tomorrow after school. You should come along and try out for the team with me! Freshman don't ever make varsity, we usually make the freshman-sophomore team, but we could be on JV if we're really good and work our way up."

"Okay, sure," Killian replied. "What's varsity?"

Walsh smiled as he took him into another hallway, explaining high school sports in the United States. "It will be a great way for you to meet people." Walsh turned the pair down a new hallway and began explaining where all the science rooms were located.

* * *

"Are you ready?" Walsh asked. They were both in the pool, waiting for tryouts to begin.

Killian raised and lowered his shoulders while shifting from foot to foot. "I'm not sure… I haven't been in a pool since moving here and don't want to make a fool of myself on my first day."

"Don't worry," Walsh encouraged. "Everyone makes a team. This is basically just a formality to show Coach Eric – that guy over there with the clipboard – who we are and where we stand compared to others. We'll probably make the freshman-sophomore team, anyway."

"But you said that even though we're freshman, we could still be on JV?"

Walsh nodded. "I mean, it depends on how well we swim today, but it's definitely a possibility."

A whistle blew from the man Walsh just pointed to, Coach Eric. "Freshman, come on over to the diving platforms!"

Walsh turned towards Killian. "That's us. Are you ready?"

Killian made sure his swim cap was on tight and put his goggles on his face. "I guess I have to be." Killian and Walsh went over to the diving boards.

"We're starting with the 100 meter freestyle. Just swim your best, guys and don't worry about the other racers," Coach Eric said. "Just go on the whistle"

Coach Eric's whistle blew, and Killian dived into the water. He began moving his arms in the motion that his coach taught him back in Ireland, not caring about anyone around him. He flipped underwater before coming back, making his laps around until his hand hit the side of the pool.

He leveled out, pulling his goggles off and putting them on his neck. He looked to his left and right. No one was around him, and for a moment, he thought that he was so slow that everyone around him was already out of the pool. It wasn't until he noticed some of the older kids' mouths open when he turned behind him to see most of his classmates were still paddling back about halfway across the pool.

An older boy reached his hand out to him to help Killian out of the pool. "Wow," he said as he clapped him on the back. "You're really fast. What's your name?"

"Killian," he mumbled as he gave a tiny smile. He walked over to the bench where his towel was, drying himself off a bit before he watched the other freshman finish their laps. Walsh was the next one to make it to a side.

When they got out, Walsh walked over to him. "Did you stop halfway through?" he asked, but Killian shook his head.

"I finished about 15 seconds ago…" he said, quietly.

Walsh's eyebrows rose in surprise. "Geez, what kind of training did you have in Ireland?" Killian gave a noncommittal shrug as the two went to sit on the bench.

The freshman waited as the sophomores, juniors, and seniors did their 100-meter freestyle before they were called again to do their backstroke. Again, Killian finished way before the other students, and the pattern continued throughout the tryouts.

"The teams will be posted tomorrow," Coach Eric said to all the high schoolers waiting around him. "They'll be outside the locker room. Come by after school to see what team you've made."

With that, Killian and Walsh left the pool, separating for the night before school the next day.

* * *

"Killian, could you come up here?" Mr. Spencer asked as the bell rang. His heart began to pound, wondering if he did already something wrong.

"Yes, sir?" Killian felt small. All he wanted to do was get through the day without being noticed, and already on the third day, he was in trouble.

"I've noticed that you don't seem challenged with the material. Have you already learned it?"

"Oh, um…" Killian looked anywhere but his teacher. "In Ireland, I was put in harder classes than everyone, so I learned this about three years ago."

"I wish your father would have said something when he signed you up for classes," Mr. Spencer replied. "I've been talking to your other teachers and it seems you are quite intelligent for your age. I want to do some testing to see if you'll qualify for our honors and AP programs."

Killian looked up at his teacher. "I'm sorry, I don't know what that means…"

Mr. Spencer chuckled at his comment. "It means that I haven't seen a student as smart as you in all my years of teaching, and I want to put you in classes more suited to your abilities."

Killian nodded in understanding. "Okay, well, what do I have to do?"

"Instead of taking my class for the rest of the week, I'm going to give you some exams to take to see where you should be placed. How does that sound?" Mr. Spencer gave him an encouraging smile.

"Uh, sure…"

"Go on now, boy. I doubt you want to stay in my classroom after school's over."

"Thank you, Mr. Spencer." Killian grabbed his backpack and left the classroom. He found Walsh waiting for him across the hallway, watching the other students leave.

"What was that about?" Walsh asked as the two walked together in the hallway.

"Oh, Mr. Spencer wants to move me up to harder classes, whatever that really means… He kind of explained, but I was a little nervous and wasn't really listening."

"After three days, he already wants to move you?" Walsh looked surprised just as they were coming to the boys' locker rooms. "Wow, you've got to be really smart or something."

"Yeah, or something…" Killian replied as they stood in front of the paper.

"Oh my gosh! I made JV!" Walsh exclaimed, smiling, nearly jumping up and down. He looked like he was about to burst with pride when he turned to Killian. "What team did you make?"

He looked at the freshman-sophomore list, then the JV team. Killian frowned when he didn't see his name on either list. "It looks like I didn't make the swim team…" he said, defeated. "I thought you said everyone made a team…"

"They do…" Walsh said, confused. Walsh looked over both lists again for Killian's name. "I don't see…" Suddenly, Walsh pointed to a third list. "Killian, you made varsity."

"I… What?" Killian looked over at the varsity team list. "I thought you said freshman don't make varsity."

"They usually don't," Walsh said, in a quiet voice. "Uh, well, congratulations, Killian. You must be really good to be on varsity already."

Killian thought Walsh's voice was off, but ignored it as he said, "Thanks, mate."

* * *

"Thanks for coming today, Mr. Jones," Mr. Spencer said to Killian's father. He had requested a meeting between the three of them, and the next Monday, they all sat down.

"Is everything alright with Killian?" Mr. Jones asked, looking at his son. "I'm sorry if he's caused you any trouble… How is he fitting in with the others?"

"He's quite a delight, actually!" Mr. Spencer interrupted.

Killian sat in silence as he waited for whatever Mr. Spencer had to say.

"I saw Killian's potential during the first week of classes, and I had him to some testing. His scores are off the charts!" Mr. Spencer started explaining. "I haven't seen such high scores in my time at Storybrooke High."

His dad turned and smiled at Killian. "Killian's always had an aptitude for learning. My late wife and I had to sign him up for special programs to make sure he was challenged." There was a gleam of water that pooled in his father's eyes as he spoke of Killian's mother, but quickly blinked it away when he turned back to Mr. Spencer. "I'm quite proud of him."

Mr. Spencer gave his best smile. "Well, it seems like Killian is well beyond his years. With your permission, I'd like him to try our accelerated program. I think it will give him the challenge he needs."

"Of course!" Killian's dad replied. "I didn't know America had some sort of system for him."

"I also think he should try our senior AP Trigonometry class so that he can take a College in the Classroom math course next year."

"What does that mean?" Killian didn't understand what all these classes were, but he was becoming more and more eager to prove himself with each new opportunity.

Mr. Spencer turned to look at Killian. "Well, you would attend college for one of your classes instead of high school. I think it would be a much better match for him than any math we could offer him here." He looked back at his father. "Unfortunately, the program doesn't start until gifted students are in tenth grade, which is why I'm suggesting our toughest math class right now."

"Are you sure he's not too young for something like that? Killian's only 14 and will be with taking classes with 18-year-olds, and then he'll go to college when he's 15?"

"Don't worry, Mr. Jones. There are very few students in the AP Trig class, and the College in the Classroom program is set for bright students like Killian. It is for a select few across the state, so it is a big accomplishment that your son has such high standards. There is one drawback. I've noticed that Killian is in band and choir with Ms. Tink. Unfortunately, if he wishes to pursue these academic endeavors, he'll have these harder classes during his elective courses. He would have to discontinue them."

"Killian loves playing his guitar and singing. I don't know if we can take that away from him…" His father turned to Killian. "Before we decide anything, I think Killian and I should have a little chat at home…"

Killian shook his head. "No, I think this is good. Mr. Spencer is right when he says I'm bored in classes. It's just like back in Ireland, and I'd really like to try."

"But about music…"

"I should focus on other things, instead. Besides, since I made varsity swimming, I will have a much more vigorous swimming schedule. Maybe a break from music is what I need." Killian looked at his dad with pleading eyes.

"Well, it's settled," Mr. Spencer said, before his father could object. "I'll talk to his counselor tomorrow, and we'll set up a new schedule for him starting Wednesday." He held out a hand for his father. "Good to meet you, Mr. Jones. Congratulations, Killian."

* * *

Killian walked into Mrs. Darling's AP biology class. He scanned the room before his eyes fell on Walsh talking to two girls. He walked over to him. "Hey Walsh."

Walsh turned slowly. "Oh, hey Killian. What are you doing here?"

"I've been switched to all these honors and AP classes. I think we'll have a lot of classes together now, thank goodness. I didn't know anyone in my other classes…"

Walsh nodded before turning to the two girls he was talking to. "This is Dorothy and this is Zelena." Both girls nodded. "This is Killian. He just moved here from Ireland."

"Nice to meet you both," he said as Mrs. Darling cleared her throat. Killian turned to look at the tall woman with dark brown hair, taking slow steps until he was next to her. "Mr. Spencer told you I was switching to this class, right?"

"Yes, yes. Let's see, Killian, is it?" Mrs. Darling looked at a seating chart before finding what she was looking for. "I have you sitting behind Victor and beside Phillip in that empty seat at the back. See it?" Killian followed her hand as she yelled, "Victor, raise your hand."

A blonde-haired boy followed her directions, and Killian nodded. "Thank you, Mrs. Darling." Killian walked the long rows until he was sitting behind Victor.

"Hi, I'm Victor!" he said, pointing to the kid beside Killian. "And that's Phillip."

"I'm Killian," he said as he sat down and took out a notebook.

"Hey, you're that really good swimmer!" Phillip noted as Killian looked over. "I remember you from tryouts. Did you make JV?"

"Varsity, actually." Killian said, leaning his head down. Last time he told a freshman he made varsity, his only friend started acting differently towards him.

"Wow, you must be really good," Victor complimented just as Mrs. Darling started the lesson for the day. Victor turned around, along with Phillip and Killian, to face their teacher at the front of the room.

"Yesterday we talked about the topic of mitosis vs. meiosis. Who can tell me the difference between the two?" Mrs. Darling started. The whole class seemed to turn their heads in Walsh's direction, and he put a smug smile on his face as he began to raise his hand.

Without hesitation, Killian also raised his hand, waiting to be called on. Mrs. Darling seemed surprised a different student offered to answer her question, and immediately jumped on the chance to have someone new explain. "Yes, Killian?"

"Well, mitosis occurs when a cell divides and results with two identical cells. These cells have pairs of every gene. Meiosis is a division for gametes with a two-step process. It results in four cells, half of each normal cell, and will result in a new organization of DNA from both cells." Killian looked around the room at his shocked classmates, his face suddenly turning red. "I think…" he added.

"That's correct, Killian." Mrs. Darling smiled before turning to the whiteboard behind her, opening up a whiteboard marker and beginning the lesson.

Phillip looked over at Killian and whispered, "How did you know that? You weren't even in our class yesterday!"

Killian slumped down in his chair, slightly embarrassed. "Well, I was bored in science class, so my professor back in Ireland gave me some harder material to learn outside of class. It was actually really interesting."

"You did _extra_ work?" Phillip asked.

"Phillip, please pay attention!" Mrs. Darling said in a slightly louder voice. Phillip snapped back into position, looking at the whiteboard and taking notes.

When the bell rang for lunch, Victor turned around. "Do you want to sit by Phil and me during lunch today?" he asked.

Killian's eyes darted over to Walsh, currently talking to Zelena and Dorothy, before making his decision. "Sure, that sounds great."

The three boys stood up from their desks and started walking out of the room. Killian stopped on his way out the door to speak to Walsh. "Hey, so Phillip and Victor asked me if I wanted to sit by them at lunch today. Is that cool with you?"

Killian couldn't quite decipher the look in Walsh's eyes, but his friend quickly responded, "Oh, yeah. No problem."

"Thanks," Killian said, walking out of the room and catching up with his two new friends.

* * *

**2 years ago…**

Killian was assigned a group project with Walsh, Kathryn, and Phillip. Over the past year, he had drifted further and further away from Walsh. He had his group of friends that he enjoyed being around, and Walsh had found his own crew. They really just didn't run in the same circle anymore, other than taking honors and AP classes together.

"Okay, so we're supposed to split into teams and each take a side of the debate. How should we split up?" Kathryn asked, rather shy. She had a few classes with Killian, but he didn't know her too well.

Before Killian or Phillip could just claim the other as their partner, Walsh suggested, "Why don't we choose randomly?"

"Uh, I guess that works…" Killian acknowledged. "I'll write our names on four pieces of paper and then you can distribute them into two groups. How does that sound?"

Killian wrote each of their names on a piece of paper, folded them, and threw them into the middle of their circle. Walsh pushed two at random towards the left side and two towards the right.

Phillip began opening up the two closest to him and laying them out. "Well, it looks like you and me are together, Kathryn."

Killian gave a sideways glance at his old friend. "I suppose that means you and I are together, Walsh." He gave a halfhearted smile before continuing. "Do you want to be for or against school uniforms?"

Kathryn and Phillip looked at each other before shrugging. "I guess we could be against?" Phillip offered.

"Then we'll be pro. Ms. French said we should just work with our respective partner from now on and then come together in a week to discuss how we'll present?" Killian suggested, and the rest of the group grunted in agreement.

"Alright, class, it's time to wrap up. Schedule some outside time to work on this because we'll only have two more in-class days." Ms. French lectured.

Killian turned towards Walsh. "So, when did you want to get together?"

Walsh gave little acknowledgement to Killian's question. "Whenever."

"Well, we have swimming after school on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays… Did you want to work after school on Wednesday or Friday?" Killian asked, taking out his planner. "This Wednesday, my brother and I have to help rake our neighbor's lawn, so would Friday work?"

"Sure. I'll see you then."

The bell rang and the entire school left for the day.

* * *

Killian and Walsh sat at the library, an open computer in between the two of them. Walsh had his feet on the table while looking anywhere but their project while Killian diligently looked for research to back up their points.

"Do you have any other ideas?" Killian asked Walsh, his eyebrows furrowed while he clicked on another link about the pros of wearing school uniforms. A list of reasons came up, and Killian scanned the list, trying to find new and interesting reasons to support their case.

"Not really," Walsh replied, noncommittally. He twirled his thumbs as he looked around the room, watching the air as if there was something important in it.

Killian was starting to get very irritated. Mustering all the confidence he had, he turned to Walsh. "I feel like I'm doing most of the work for our side, Walsh. Do you think you could come up with something, too?"

"I think you're doing just fine there, Jones."

Killian was taken aback by the use of his last name. Walsh had always addressed him as _"Killian",_ so hearing him referred as _"Jones"_ was a surprising turn of events. "Uh, what's that supposed to mean?"

Walsh sighed as he lifted his feet to the ground, whirling around to face Killian. "It means that you've never needed my help before, so why do you suddenly need it now?"

"What are you—"

Walsh rolled his eyes and went back to his previous position. "Whatever."

Killian closed the computer and walked around the room until he was face-to-face with his partner. "No, I need you to explain why you are being such an ass about this project."

"Because I'm wasting my time here! You're never going to take anything I say seriously, Mr. Perfect. You've never let anyone do anything for you, and you never will. So, I'm just going to stay out of it and present whatever points you say are important."

"I keep asking for your input! If I wasn't serious in having you help out, why the hell would I be checking in with you every few minutes?" Killian sank into the chair opposite of Walsh, crossing his hands and frowning.

Walsh waved his arms. "Believe me: there's nothing the great and powerful _Killian Jones_ can't do by himself. So, take it away, buddy."

Killian's jaw dropped. "What the hell? You're being such a prick about this!"

"Well, you're _always_ a prick _and_ a know-it-all. No one else can answer a damn question because your hand is always in the air!"

Killian couldn't help but notice how quickly this had escalated. "Oh, please. It's not like I've ever seen you try to answer a question."

"Maybe if you weren't too busy trying to be a show off…"

"Walsh, I think you're being a _little_ overdramatic."

Walsh stood up, nearly knocking over his chair in the process. "Tell me what I need to say in the debate, _Jones_, and I'll do it." He turned around and walked out, grabbing his backpack on the way out. There was the last name again. It was as if Walsh wasn't even acknowledging he had a first name, like Killian didn't deserve it.

Killian sat there, a mixture of emotions clouding his brain. Everything from frustration to pity rolled around as he walked back to his original spot, starting the project on his own.

* * *

Killian threw his arms in the air. "Thanks a lot, Walsh! We got a fricken B on our project!" Ms. French passed back their debate results and Walsh and Killian had gotten a less-than-perfect grade.

"If I remember, _you_ were the one who came up with all the points and wrote the whole damn thing. How is this my fault?" Walsh countered.

"You didn't help at all! You didn't even _try_ to help! I had to do the work of two people because you were too stubborn to do any of the work."

Walsh leaned his head back, closing his eyes and putting his fingers up to his temple. "Jones, you are so annoying! Do you _ever_ shut up?"

Killian was about to make a come back when the bell rang. Walsh bolted out of the room while Killian took his time to pack up. After the rest of the class left, Killian wandered up to his teacher's desk. "Ms. French, can I talk to you for a moment?"

Ms. French looked up from her book and set it down, taking off her glasses and looking up at him. "Sure, Killian. What can I help you with today?"

"Well, I was hoping to discuss the B that Walsh and I received on our debate."

Ms. French drew her cheek to the side, giving a tiny nod of understanding. "I know it's disappointing, Killian, but your project was just not up to either of your usual caliber."

"That's the thing, Ms. French. It would have been if Walsh had tried at all. I had to do the work for both of us because he wasn't willing to help… It would have been better if he had put some effort into it."

Ms. French leaned back, studying Killian. "I'm sorry, but that doesn't sound like Walsh. He's a good student, so I have a hard time believing that he would make you do everything by yourself."

Killian groaned as frustration began to seep in. "It's true! I promise that he didn't pull his half of the weight in the project. You could even ask him."

"Okay, I'll talk to him tomorrow after school if that would make you feel better."

"Is there any possible extra credit I could do for you to make up for it?" Killian gave a sideways grin, hoping to charm his way into getting a higher grade.

"I'm going to talk to Walsh and, if your story holds up, I'll give you an extra credit opportunity. How does that sound?"

Killian let out a breath. All that was left was for Walsh to make an ass of himself in front of their teacher, and he would be able to get his grade up. "Thank you, Ms. French. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye, Killian."

* * *

"WHAT THE HELL?" Walsh yelled, storming down the hallway until he reached Killian's locker. When Killian gave him a confused look, Walsh continued. "Ms. French just lowered my project grade, saying that I didn't pull my weight. What the hell did you say to her?"

"I was merely asking for some extra credit to bring my grade up, since _you_ almost ruined my 4.0."

"Yeah? Well now _I'm_ losing _my _4.0!" Walsh scoffed. "There's no way I'm going to get my grade back up higher than a B now!"

"Maybe you should have thought of that before you acted like a jerk and didn't do anything."

Walsh let out a large groan. "God, _Jones_, do you think of anyone _other_ than yourself?"

"Well, _Ozland_, I tried to think of you, but you wouldn't let me."

Walsh slammed Killian's locker shut. "Thanks a lot." Walsh turned around and stomped out of the school.

* * *

**End of Sophomore Year**

Mr. Spencer stood in the middle of the auditorium at the last pep fest of the year with a microphone, telling students what was about to happen. "This award is given to the student we as teachers think is gifted, talented, and above all, hard working. We see it in everyday experiences; anything from the way the student works in group activities to the manner they present themselves. From the time this school has opened, this honor has been awarded to a much deserving junior or senior, but this year, only one student came to mind. We thought that this student even deserved it last year as a freshman, but held it off for a year to make sure it was a good choice. In a unanimous decision, the faculty has chosen sophomore Killian Jones for Storybrooke's 2013 student of the year. Killian, come on down." Mr. Spencer looked up in the bleachers where the freshman were sitting, trying to find Killian in the crowd.

Killian turned to Victor, Kathryn, and Phillip, a confused look on his face. "Congrats!" Victor said, patting his back. Phillip pushed him up until he was standing, encouraging him to go down and get the award.

It seemed the whole school was in awe of this feat – neither the upperclassmen nor lowerclassmen angered by his accomplishment. As Killian reached Mr. Spencer and shook his hand, he took the certificate and beamed at the crowd. "Thank you very much!" Killian said into the microphone and, being the cocky bastard that his teachers and peers grew to know and love, he gave a deep bow. The students in the bleachers started laughing as Killian came up, and he looked out at the schoolmates he had met throughout the year.

His eyes settled on one student in particular, his first friend at Storybrooke. Walsh's arms were crossed above his chest, a slight dip on each side of his cheek as he watched Killian receive his award.

Killian and Walsh had clearly grown apart. Killian found that he clicked much better with Phillip and Victor and Kathryn, who had joined their little gang after that group project earlier in the year. Phillip had once told Killian that Walsh was the big man on campus before Killian came – that Walsh was known as the smartest, most athletic, and creative guy when they were all in middle school, and this continued on through the first couple months in high school. Killian had tried to explain he wasn't trying to interfere with Walsh's status, but it seemed that he had somehow pushed him to a lower pedestal in the process of becoming the Killian Jones everyone knew.

Killian walked back to his spot when Mr. Jefferson came to the microphone and brought out the varsity dance team to perform their kick line routine for the school. The song came on as they watched the girls perform. Victor nudged Killian in the side and gestured his head towards Phillip, who seemed entranced by a brunette at the end of the line. Killian and Victor silently laughed at their friend throughout the rest of the pep fest.

* * *

**1 year ago…**

Killian walked into Mr. Marco's history class with Victor by his side. It was the first day of school his junior year, and he was all ready to meet his newest teachers and classmates.

When he walked in, he sat down next to Phillip in the front row, Victor sitting on his other side.

He couldn't help but overhear Walsh, Zelena, and Dorothy in the background. "Yeah, and I met this really cute girl named Emma, and we've been hanging out a lot this summer."

"What's she like?"

"She's a little shorter than me, blonde hair, _hot bod_, if you know what I mean…" he said, elbowing Dorothy and winking.

Killian rolled his eyes. "What a jackass," Killian whispered to Phillip. "How would Aurora feel if she knew you were talking about her like that behind her back?"

"She would be so upset!" Phillip agreed. "I feel sorry for whoever this Emma girl is."

"And she's really into me. It took me a while, but now she can't get enough of me!" Walsh said in the background.

"Can you believe him?" Victor asked, glaring at the kids next to him.

"No, I really can't…"

* * *

Coach Eric looked at Walsh's form in the pool. "Walsh, you're still not doing it right!" he yelled. "I tell you _every practice _that you need to move your arms up and out before going back in the water."

Walsh stopped in the water, bobbing up and down to look over at the sidelines. "I'm sorry, Coach."

Coach Eric turned his head to the left. "Killian, get in row three," he yelled him on the bench. Killian stood up and walked over to the water, jumping into the third row. "Okay, Walsh, _watch Killian carefully_. He has perfect form, and this is how you need to look when you do the stroke."

Killian glided across the water, following Coach Eric's directions. Once he reached the other side of the pool, he heard his coach saying to Walsh, "See? Whenever you can do the butterfly like _that_, you can be on varsity. Until then, you have to stay on JV, got it?"

"Yes, sir," Walsh said, his voice wavering.

* * *

"Did you hear?" Phillip said to Killian as soon as they met up at school.

"Hear what?" Killian asked, confused at Phillip's eagerness.

He leaned in close, as if it was a secret. "Walsh quit the swim team!"

Killian drew in a breath. "Why would he quit? State races are coming up next week!"

Phillip shrugged at Killian. "James told me that Walsh told him that he was fed up with the politics of the team, whatever _that _means."

"Politics? This makes no sense. He was _just_ at practice yesterday."

"I know! But I'm not going to lie, I won't miss him snickering whenever he beats me in a race… And now I'm second best on the team, after you, of course."

Killian waved his hand, disregarding the statement. "I still wish he wouldn't have quit. Do you think we should talk to him? Try to get him to rejoin?"

"Like he'd ever have a civil conversation with us," Phillip replied. "I think his mind is made up, anyway. From what James was saying, it seems like Walsh has wanted to quit for a while now. Something must have happened at yesterday's practice that became his tipping point."

Killian and Phillip reached Mr. Marco's classroom. "I guess so…"

* * *

**2 Months Ago, Beginning of Senior Year**

Killian and Victor saw Walsh walking down the hallway with all the senior lockers, passing out fliers. "What do you think _that_ is about?" he asked, closing his locker and turning to Victor.

"I'm not sure…" Victor seemed disinterested, but Killian couldn't help his curiosity.

Walsh was just passing a flier to Felix before he came up to Killian and Victor. He looked them both up and down before turning his head away and walking further down to pass one to some girl named Mulan.

Killian rolled his eyes before walking over to Mulan. She was in a bunch of his AP classes after she transferred here their junior year, although they didn't talk too much. "Hey, Mulan! What's that flier about?" Killian asked, standing on his tip toe to look over her shoulder.

"It looks like Walsh is running for student council president," Mulan replied, looking up at Killian. "Are you?"

Killian hadn't really thought about it. Of course, he had coveted the position since his freshman year, but he was already the NHS president and swim team captain. Did he really want another thing to do?

Hell yeah, he did.

"Yeah, I am," he said, a positivity in his voice that no one would ever know he was just deciding this now. "I'm actually going to be hanging up my posters tomorrow before school."

"Cool," Mulan said, just as the first period bell rang. "See you in class," she said, closing her own locker and turning away from him to catch up with her friends, John and Will.

Killian swiveled until he was facing Victor, a knowing grin on his friend's face. "So, you're running for student council president now? Since when?"

Killian gave him his own cocky smirk. "Since about two minutes ago."

* * *

Killian was tapping his pencil on his desk as he watched the school-produced tv show with the morning announcements. It was a biweekly, five-minute show that Killian had wanted to join, but it conflicted with swimming.

A close up of Dorothy came on the screen. "And now, the results for our student council executive board," she said, looking down at a piece of paper set in front of her. Killian's face shot up at the TV, sitting up straight at his desk and waiting anxiously to find out if he got the position.

"Student council secretary is… Phillip Knightly."

Killian turned to face his best friend with a huge grin on his face. "Phil! Congrats, man!" He held out his hand for Phillip to clap, which he did while listening to Ashley Boyd become the treasurer and Aurora becoming Vice-President.

"And our 2014-2015 student council president is…" Killian crossed his fingers as he looked at the screen. "Killian Jones!"

Killian brought his fist down in victory. "YESSSS!" he hissed as Phillip congratulated him and gave him a clap right back.

Killian was so busy celebrating with his friends that he barely noticed Walsh looking at him with jealous eyes. His fists tightened and opened, the frown on his face morphing into a nonchalant grin as he turned to his friend Zelena. "Eh, I didn't really care about the council, anyway. My parents wanted me to do it…" Walsh's voice seemed cool, but it was off. There was a tinge of sadness behind it, and Killian could tell he was genuinely upset he didn't win.

Killian almost felt bad for the bastard.

_Almost._

The sympathy seemed to come and go with the snap of a finger because, before he knew what was happening, Aurora had pulled him up into a big hug.

* * *

REVIEWS HELP THE MUSE!


	22. Chapter 22

**_Thanks to the betas!_**

* * *

The kiss was always at the back of her mind.

Whether she was in Mr. Jefferson's math class or Mr. Marco's history class, she was always daydreaming about her kiss with Killian.

She tried to act normally; she'd grab for Walsh's hand more often than usual, and was a little more vocal than she typically was, but her friends could still see there was something the matter.

Even though she was putting all her effort into _not_ thinking about it, there were those times where her eyes glossed over as she stared into nothingness, the memories of Killian's lips upon her own flooding her mind so much that she couldn't even _think_, couldn't even _hear._

And that was the thing that scared her the most.

"Emma? Did you hear me?" Walsh asked, leaning against Emma's locker.

Emma snapped back to Walsh, pink rising in her cheeks. "I'm sorry… What was that?"

Walsh turned her so that she was standing right in front of him and forced her to look him directly in the eyes. "Em, _please_ tell me what is going on."

It was after school on Friday, and Walsh had offered to walk her to her locker before her tutoring session, but the guilt inside her raised with every step. Last weekend, Walsh admitted that he shouldn't have assumed anything was going on between her and Killian when, lo and behold, they kissed.

All of her friends had been asking her the same thing all day, and Emma had perfected saying, "I'm fine." The past two days had been wearing her self-control away, and the three words that shouldn't have escaped her mouth did. "I kissed Killian."

The concern on Walsh's face melted into pure devastation. His frown deepened, the bags under his eyes becoming more prominent. His shoulders drooped as he hunched over, bringing his hand up to run his fingers through his hair.

But the thing that hurt her most was his eyes. They stared at her, disbelief and heartbreak clouding them. Emma felt her heart tighten as she watched her boyfriend take in the news. "I thought… You said…"

"I know," Emma said, frowning and tearing her eyes away from him. "I didn't know Killian liked me, and then he kissed me… But I pushed him away as soon as he did, I promise!"

Once again, Walsh's face morphed into something that she had never seen from him before: pure anger. "Wait, did you kiss him or did he kiss you?"

"Well, technically he kissed me, but does it really matter?"

Walsh's fists curled, his breathing deepened. "I'm going to kill him!" He turned around and started stomping towards Mr. Spencer's classroom.

Emma ran in front of him to stop him in place. "Wait! Don't! Let's talk about this before you do anything rash!"

Walsh pushed right past her, waving his arms while almost yelling, "He kissed my _girlfriend_! I'm not going to talk about anything until I—"

"Walsh, please!" Emma called back, but he was already halfway to the room. Emma turned around and rushed to the front office, hoping to find Mr. Spencer there.

"Mr. Spencer, Mr. Spencer!" Emma yelled as she ran up to the glass walls of the office.

He turned around slowly, looking at the clock before asking, "Emma! Shouldn't you be in your tutoring session with Killian?" Emma's distressed state must have concerned him because he instantly stepped forward.

"You have to get to your classroom! Walsh is on his way and Killian is just sitting there…" She couldn't even get it out, but Mr. Spencer must have sensed something was wrong, because he ran out of the office, leaving Emma alone in the large room.

* * *

_She's not going to come… Of course, Emma's not going to come! _The thoughts played on repeat in Killian's brain as he looked up at the clock, noticing it was five minutes past their start time. He had been a fool thinking she'd show up – she hadn't responded to any of his texts in the past two days, why would she suddenly come when she knew he'd pounce at the opportunity to talk?

Killian slowly started to pack up his calculator, notebook, and pencil when the door opened. Without looking up, he began, "Oh, good, Emma. I think we need to talk about…" But he stopped when he saw who was standing in the doorway.

Walsh had a fire in his eyes that only meant one thing: he knew.

"YOU KISSED MY _GIRLFRIEND_?" He yelled, storming into the room and slamming the door shut behind him. "I _knew_ you weren't just tutoring her! I _knew_ you were trying to steal her from me!"

"It just happened!" Killian pleaded back, standing up now that Walsh was getting closer and closer to him.

"God, I can't believe it." Walsh sad, putting his hands in fists. He chuckled, even if there was nothing remotely funny about the situation "She's my _girlfriend_, Jones. You can't just take her!"

"I'm not trying to take anything away from you!"

"BULL SHIT! You take EVERYTHING from me!"

"Hey! At least _I_ care about her future! You made fun of her and told her she wasn't smart! What kind of boyfriend _does_ that?" Killian backed up, but couldn't help himself from spitting the words at him.

"SHUT UP!" Walsh yelled, stepping closer.

Killian was backed against the wall now, with Walsh only three steps away from him. "Maybe if you _supported_ her and actually cared _about_ her, she wouldn't be kissing me in the middle of the pool."

With that, Killian knew he said the wrong thing to get out of his situation.

Walsh was in his face now. "I LOVE HER AND SHE LOVES ME!" he yelled, waving her hands around. "You've taken my place in _everything_. Can you not let me have one damn thing?"

Not knowing what else to do, he brought his hands up and pushed Walsh away from him. "I WON'T LET YOU HAVE THINGS YOU DON'T DESERVE!" Killian stepped forward trying to get away from the wall and out of the situation altogether.

"And you do?" he sneered.

"I always have in the past." Killian countered, taking another step forward. "And even if I haven't deserved it, _at least_, I've always deserved it over you."

Walsh was right by him again. "So, then I can only assume you deserved that C on your exam and being _last_ place at your last swim meet? Yeah, I heard about it."

And that's when Killian snapped.

Pulling his right arm back and fisting his hand, he shot it forward until it hit Walsh in the chest. Walsh took two steps back, not knowing what happened for a brief second. Killian thought he did enough to get Walsh to leave, but instead, Walsh charged forward, punching him in the jaw.

Killian stumbled back, rubbing his hand over his chin. Not backing down, Killian brought his left hand back and pushed it straight towards Walsh's face. "AHHH!" Walsh yelled as he fell into a desk, covering the nose that was now dripping blood.

Killian looked down at his left hand, noticing it turning black and blue on impact. He couldn't even move his fingers without pain shooting though his entire arm, but all thoughts of his own injuries vanished when he glanced back up at Walsh. He was turning whiter and whiter by the second, blood dripping from his nose like a faucet.

His eyes widened, realizing what had just happened, what he had just done. "Walsh? WALSH?" Killian started to panic, reaching for the tissue box and sitting right in front of him. Tucking his left arm into his side, Killian took several tissues out and bundled them up, holding them up to Walsh's face to stop the bleeding.

As if on cue, Mr. Spencer came running into the classroom, Emma hot on his trail. "Killian? Walsh? What's going on here?" He asked, making his way over to the two boys and assessing the situation. Emma brought her hand up to her mouth and tears filled her eyes, shaking her head.

Mr. Spencer turned around. "Emma? Could you go get the nurse? Please?" he said in a loud voice, pushing Killian aside until he was in front of Walsh. Emma ran away as Killian backed up until his body hit Mr. Spencer's desk. Mr. Spencer was saying something to Walsh in a quiet voice. About what? He didn't know. Killian didn't know if he even wanted to know.

"How is your hand?" Mr. Spencer asked, and Killian could actually feel his teacher's disappointment in him. He didn't even turn around as he asked, and that brought on a whole new set of pain.

"Mr. Spencer, I'm so, so sorry! I didn't mean to—"

"Your hand? And your jaw?" Mr. Spencer asked again, in a tone much too calm for the situation they were in.

Killian looked away from his teacher as he replied. "It hurts so much." Killian didn't really know to what he was actually talking about with his answer, but his teacher ushered him forward as he continued to hold the Kleenex up to Walsh's nose.

Mr. Spencer took his hand in his and looked at it, turning it back and forth with a careful grip. Killian winced with every movement before Mr. Spencer went up to look at his jaw. He then turned back to Walsh, taking the tissue away from his nose to assess the other boy. "How does it feel, Walsh?"

Walsh just grumbled as Mr. Spencer got new Kleenexes to hold up to his nose. Killian had never seen someone so pale in real life before. His lips and chin were covered in his blood, his nose already different colors. Killian didn't know if he could feel any worse than in that moment.

The school nurse came into the room that moment, first walking over and kneeling in front of Walsh to take over that situation. Mr. Spencer stood up and walked over to Emma, saying something quietly before seeing her turn around and leave. He then closed the door and went back over to Killian.

Killian hadn't even realized he was crying when Mr. Spencer met up with him. He pointed to one of the desks before he reached into his desk and pulled out an ice pack, breaking it and giving it to Killian. Killian placed it over his hand, the coolness of the ice relieving some of the pain on his wrist. "Alternate that between your hand and jaw," he ordered.

Mr. Spencer then got another one and did the same thing, bringing it over to Walsh. The nurse had finally stopped the bleeding, taking the ice pack from his teacher and placing it on top of Walsh's nose.

Mr. Spencer and the nurse then went into the corner and started discussing something in hushed tones. Killian looked over at Walsh to see his eyes closed in pain while his head was leaning back on the desk next to him. Killian brought the ice pack up to his chin, his hand immediately missing the coolness.

The nurse left the room briefly before coming back with two folders. Mr. Spencer opened the first one and went to the phone. "Hello, Mrs. Ozland, this is Albert Spencer from Storybrooke High School calling about Walsh…"

Killian didn't hear the rest of the conversation as he thought about Emma's shocked and scared face when she saw the scene. He switched the ice back to his hand as the memory of Emma running away rushed to the front of his brain. God, he was stupid. What was he thinking getting in a fight with Walsh?

Killian was brought out of his trance when he heard Mr. Spencer say, "Hello, Liam, this is Albert Spencer from Storybrooke High School calling about Killian. Is your father home?" After there was a pause, Mr. Spencer nodded before continuing. "Well, as his secondary emergency contact, we'll need you to come and pick him up. He was in a fight at school, and now we believe his hand is broken and his jaw severely bruised… I know… Uh huh… Alright, then. I'll see you in twenty minutes. Goodbye." Mr. Spencer hung up the phone before turning to the two boys.

"I'm very disappointed with both of you. How could two of my best students do something so immature?" he asked them.

Killian looked down, unable to look his favorite teacher in the eyes. "I don't know…" Killian said, softly.

"Well, unfortunately, district rules requires me to suspend both of you for three days." Mr. Spencer dipped down into his desk and pulled out two pieces of paper and started filling out their dismissal paperwork. "Can you tell me what exactly happened?"

Walsh was the first one to speak. "We were arguing, then Killian pushed me. We continued to argue, and then Killian punched me in the chest. I punched him back in the jaw, then he punched me in the nose. Then you came in."

Mr. Spencer looked over at Killian. "Is that true?" he asked.

Killian's heart started to race as he remembered their encounter, realizing this whole thing was his fault. "There's more to the story than just—"

"I'm just asking about the physical fight, nothing more specific. Is that what happened?"

Killian looked down at his now black hand. "Yes."

Mr. Spencer went back to filling out his paperwork in silence.

Mrs. Ozland was the first to show up, running over to her son and kneeling in front of him. "Walsh? Walsh?" she cried, tears already in her eyes. "Are you okay?" she asked, stroking his hair. Walsh took the ice pack off his nose to look at her, and she drew in a breath. "Oh, god, let's get you to the ER."

"Before you leave, Mrs. Ozland, I need you to sign this paperwork, and you can have the bottom copy." Walsh's mother followed his directions. "Also, Walsh is suspended for three days, so he cannot be on Storybrooke school property until next Thursday."

"Understood," Mrs. Ozland said when she turned back to her son, helping him up and walking slowly out of the room. "Thank you for taking care of my son," she said in a grateful tone, not even acknowledging that Killian had been in the room.

Which, is probably for the better, since he just broke her son's nose and drained all his blood.

Mr. Spencer and Killian sat in their very first awkward silence. He's always had something to say to his favorite teacher, and his teacher right back. Now, it almost seemed like Mr. Spencer would be sick if he even looked at Killian, and Killian wasn't much better.

About five minutes later, Liam walked into the room, his mouth curved down and indents around his face, proving that he had just been frowning. He was still in his naval uniform, making Killian feel even more awful that he pulled him from work. "Mr. Spencer, I wish I could say it's good to see you again, but the reason I'm here is not too exciting…"

"Yes, next time I thought I'd see you, it would be under much better circumstances." Mr. Spencer acknowledged, holding out his hand to his brother. "I apologize I had to tear you away from work, but as you can see, your brother needs to go to urgent care."

Liam finally looked over at Killian with disapproving eyes. "Thank you very much for taking such good care of him until I got here." His words were thankful, although his voice bore an angry tone.

"I need you to sign some paperwork and then Killian can be released." Mr. Spencer pulled out a form and gave it to Liam, who read through the entire thing. His face got redder and redder with each new word he read, his eyes darting to Killian every once in a while before turning back. He then grabbed the pen Mr. Spencer was holding out to him, signed it, and turned towards his brother.

Liam then turned towards Mr. Spencer. "May I ask you something quickly before we leave?"

"Of course."

"How has Killian been at school? He hasn't been himself lately at home, and I wanted to check in with you guys." Liam said, and Killian turned red from embarrassment.

"His teachers have shown some concern, and if it were to continue, we were going to contact your father about possible options for him." Killian winced at his teacher's words. He knew they had been talking about them, but he didn't realize the extent.

"What options were you considering?"

Mr. Spencer glanced over at Killian before turning to Liam. "We hadn't decided on anything in particular yet."

"Well, I'm sure my father will agree to whatever you find fitting." With that, Liam looked over at Killian and ordered, "Come." Killian stood as quickly as he could and walked over to his brother. "Thank you again, Mr. Spencer," Liam said.

"Yes and, as a reminder, he is not allowed on school premises until Thursday, and this includes swim practices and meets."

"Duly noted," Liam said as he reached his arm to guide Killian out.

In the doorway, Killian turned around. "What about tutoring Emma on Wednesday?"

He felt Liam's eyes glaring at him, his hand digging into his shoulder as he muttered, "Are you kidding me?" to himself.

Mr. Spencer, who had already gone back to looking over the paperwork, brought his eyes up to meet Killian's with an incredulous expression. "I think it might be a good idea if Emma finds a new tutor for a while."

Liam nodded as if agreeing, and if there was anything left in Killian's heart after what had happened in the last 24 hours, it was gone. Killian lowered his head as he followed his brother out of the room.

* * *

Emma sat in a small stall in the girls' bathroom. Her legs were tucked up against her chest, her feet resting on the seat, and her forehead leaning forward to touch her knees. She brought her arms around her legs and curled herself in a little ball.

_It's my fault. It's all my fault._

The words played over and over in her mind, her heart beating fast as she let tears fall from her eyes and soak into her shoulders. She sniffed in before three silent sobs left her throat. Emma shook her head as she remembered the screaming she heard, the fire in Walsh's eyes, _all the blood_. She shouldn't have told Walsh, she shouldn't have kissed Killian, everything was her fault.

Emma heard the bathroom door open. She pressed her hand across her lips as she waited for the person to go into a stall. When she did, Emma quickly flushed the toilet and got out of there before the other person could see her in such a distraught state.

As she exited, she saw Killian from the other end of the hallway, walking slowly. Emma looked to both her right and left and noticed there was absolutely no way for her to get to her locker without passing by him.

Killian was looking down at his feet as an older boy – probably no older than 25 – had his hand on Killian's shoulder. Killian's jaw was already bruised and, by the way Killian was hunched over, there was something clearly wrong with his left arm. She drew in a deep hiss as she thought about how this boy was in this state because of _her_.

Because she couldn't keep their secret.

Just as Emma thought she might pass without Killian even noticing her, he brought his head up just in time to look directly at her. He was frowning, his eyes puffy. Was that because of her, too? From the pain?

"Good afternoon, Swan," Killian said in a wavering voice. He nodded his head towards her in such a formal greeting, and the older boy's eyes flickered before continuing their way out.

After the door closed, Emma watched them leave through the large windows. "I'm sorry," she whispered to herself before turning and walking towards her locker.

Mr. Spencer came out of his classroom just as she was passing. "Emma, may I speak to you before you leave?" he asked. Emma followed him into the room. "Thank you for finding me earlier. That was the right decision for you to make."

Emma couldn't find any words to say, so she settled for dipping her head slightly in recognition.

"I will be finding you a new math tutor. I have to figure out who it is first, but come to my room after school on Monday and I'll introduce you."

Was it relief? Was it sadness? A feeling came over her that was difficult to describe as the words left Mr. Spencer's mouth, but she let out a deep breath after he said them. "Okay."

"Go on home, Emma. Have a good weekend."

* * *

Killian and Liam were silent on the way to urgent care. They were silent as they took all of Killian's vitals. They were silent while Killian went to get his x-rays taken. They were silent as they waited for the doctor to come in.

Killian could see in Liam's eyes that there was a hint of sadness, frustration, and disappointment. He kept stealing glances at Killian without saying one word, and with each passing moment, Killian felt them drifting further and further apart.

It killed him to think he let down his brother.

Dr. Alphonse Whale, Victor's father, came strolling into the hospital room after three knocks. "Hello, Killian, Liam," he said, smiling and nodding to the two. "Well, I have your results from the x-ray."

Dr. Whale came in and sat down on the rolling chair by a desk before taking out a copy of his x-ray and placing it on a white-lighted board on the wall. "You've fractured your wrist along with breaking your ring finer. Do you see these right here and here?" he asked, pointing to two locations where there was a black line instead of white bone. Both Killian and Liam nodded as they looked at his hand. "Your jaw, on the other hand, is just badly bruised. It will most likely stay black and blue for a couple weeks, but it will be back to normal without any medicinal interferences. Just ice it at night for 20 minutes and it will be as if nothing even happened."

Killian brought his hand up to his face to touch it, remembering the feeling of Walsh's knuckles punching him, causing the whole afternoon to resurface.

"I'm going to have one of the nurses cast up your hand for me, but first, we're going to need to talk about cast care."

"Okay," Killian replied, still holding ice on his hand and waiting for the painkillers to kick in.

"First, she's going to put on some plaster to form to your hand. Then, she'll put on this fiberglass material and wrap it up. You could choose a color, if you'd like – just tell her before she starts wrapping you up."

Killian nodded his head, waiting for more instructions.

"Now, your cast won't be able to go in water, so you'll need a plastic bag when you want to—"

"Wait, it can't go in water?" Killian interrupted, his heart rate suddenly racing. Killian turned to face Liam. "What about swimming?"

"I'm sorry," Dr. Whale said with genuine sorrow in his voice. "You're going to be in this cast for about seven weeks, and it can't go in water."

"But…" Killian's bottom lip began to tremble. "State races…" he started to breathe heavily, unable to get enough air in his lungs. He looked at his left hand as his right came over his chest. His head was swimming, his heart pounding in his chest. His lungs were on fire, unable to get enough air. The panic was clawing its way up his throat.

"Killian?" Dr. Whale asked as he was suddenly by his side. "Killian, look at me!"

Killian couldn't bring his gaze up – he wasn't sure he even heard what they were saying. All he knew was that he couldn't swim.

There was no way he was going to go to state.

His last meet ever was going to be one bronze medal.

It was over.

With that fleeting thought, he felt his body falling back onto the padded examination table, his eyes shutting, and a total blackness taking over his whole being.

* * *

Killian woke to a pounding headache. He didn't open his eyes – he wasn't even sure he could if he had wanted to – so he just lied on the uncomfortable bed and tried to figure out where he was.

He wasn't in his bed at home, that was for sure… There was a clean smell, almost too clean, and he could see the bright lights behind his closed eyelids. He could tell he wasn't in his normal clothes, it felt lighter and easier to move around in…

Suddenly, everything fell into place as soon as he heard two male voices talking.

"I think he's put himself under too much pressure, but he won't talk to me, his teachers, or his friends. Is there anything you think we could do to help him?" Liam's voice drifted across the room. "Anxiety medication or something?"

"I can't prescribe him something unless a psychologist recommends it. However, I think it might be good for him to talk to one – it could be the perfect outlet for him to express his feelings. I'll get a card for the best child psychologist I know – his name is Dr. Hopper."

"Thank you, Dr. Whale," Liam said. "I'll call to get Killian in for a session as soon as we get home."

Killian tried to steady his breathing as he listened to the room's door open and close, leaving a "sleeping" Killian alone with his brother.

"You can open your eyes now…" When Killian did, his brother was standing right over him. "How are you feeling?"

"Erhmmm…" Killian shook his head, not even knowing what the word that came out of his mouth meant.

Liam gave him a sad smile, taking his right hand within his own. "Dr. Whale says you're going to be alright, although he said the headache might stay a while."

Killian didn't even try to respond this time, only nodding to show he heard his brother.

"I already called the community center and told them you wouldn't be teaching tonight, but I thought it would be better rapport if you told them you're quitting."

"Why would I quit?" he asked, his voice much dryer than he thought it would be.

Liam looked like he didn't want to answer before finally conceding. "You can't be in _water_, Killian. You can't hold either your lifeguarding or teaching job anymore…"

Killian swallowed as he closed his eyes in pain – not from his hand or face, as he murmured, "I lost all three of my jobs in a matter of two hours…" It was a statement showing defeat, that he gives up, that he couldn't do it. "And I can't swim anymore…" The last words came out in a cry.

"You're being a little overdramatic, Killian. You're _only_ going to be out for seven weeks, it's not like you're never going to swim _ever again_."

"Yeah, maybe, but in those seven weeks? State races are going to be happening, and all I'll be able to do is watch." Killian looked down at his broken hand. "God, I'm stupid."

Liam looked like he was about to respond just as they heard a knock on the door. It opened slowly as a lady came in. "My name's Joann," she said as she gave Liam a business card. With a small smile, the nurse continued on until she was by Killian. "I'm going to be bandaging you up today. What color do you want for the outside of your cast?"

Without hesitation, but with a slight sigh, Killian knew exactly what color he wanted.

"What shades of blue do you have?" he asked.

God, he was a hopeless romantic.

* * *

**_Reviews help the muse!_**


	23. Chapter 23

Walsh was her boyfriend.

_He's _the one she needs to check on, first.

As Emma was driving over to her boyfriend's house, the scene that happened mere hours ago was playing on repeat. She kept her eyes open and on the road, knowing as soon as she closed them, the memories would become _that much_ more vivid.

And today was one day she wanted to forget.

She pulled up in front of the house just as the sun was beginning to set. Emma hadn't told Walsh she was coming, so she was praying he was home and able to talk. She walked up the sidewalk to her house, fumbling with her hands, not quite knowing what to say when she saw him.

Once she got to the door, she rang the bell and waited for someone to answer the door. She could hear Mrs. Ozland's high heels coming closer from behind the door until finally the knob turned.

"Hi, Mrs. Ozland. Can I talk to Walsh?" Emma asked with a timid smile. Mrs. Ozland was clearly distraught, and the guilt in her stomach rose even _more_. Suddenly, she realized this didn't only affect Walsh and Killian, but everyone they were connected to, too.

"Walsh's grounded," Mrs. Ozland explained in a stone cold tone, shaking her head. "But he told me you were the one who sent Mr. Spencer in to stop the fight, so I have to thank you, Emma."

"Can I please see him? Even just for five minutes?" Emma gave Mrs. Ozland her biggest puppy eyes, hoping that it would work on Walsh's mother as much as it did on Walsh. "I need to make sure he's okay and I don't know when the next time I'll see him will be."

Mrs. Ozland gave a small sigh, clearly not wanting to allow Emma to see him. "Fine, but really quickly, Emma. He's grounded." Mrs. Ozland opened the door and allowed Emma to come in. "He's in the living room, resting."

Emma nodded as she walked over to the room that just a week ago, she was relaxing and watching a movie with him in. Emma couldn't believe how much fun she had that day, and how everything has spiraled out of control since.

Walsh was laying on the couch when she saw him, his eyes closed and his breathing heavy. She walked around the green couch until she could face him. She knelt down in front of him, brushing his bushy hair out of his eyes. It caused him to open his eyes, pain blocking every part of the gray eyes that usually shown bright. His nose was covered with a bandage and he was breathing out of his mouth. Although all the blood had been cleaned up, he had black bruises peeking out behind the cast. It went all the way out to his cheekbones. "How are you feeling?" she whispered.

"Pain meds are helping," he muttered. "What are you doing here?"

Emma began threading her fingers through his hair and massaging his scalp. "I wanted to make sure you're okay… You looked pretty rough last time I saw you."

Walsh closed his eyes at her ministrations, his lips turning into a frown. "Yeah…"

"Can we go outside and talk about what happened today? Just so we have a little more privacy?" She gave Walsh a little peck on his forehead as she helped pull him up.

Walsh grunted in agreement once they were standing, and Emma weaved their hands together as she pulled him to the sliding door, leading out to the back porch. She closed the door once she had Walsh seated in their patio furniture, only sitting down once she made sure he was comfortable.

"I'm sorry about everything that has happened," Emma said, looking down at her hands and trying to find the right words to say. "I just…"

"Emma, let me talk," Walsh said, interrupting her. She was actually glad he did because she didn't even know if she really had something to say.

"Yeah, okay." Emma leaned back in her chair, waiting to hear what he wanted to say.

Walsh looked at Emma, his eyes scanning her face as if he was trying to study every detail about her. Finally, he began. "I had a crush on you since that first day you walked into the frozen yogurt shop. I knew right then and there that I wanted to you to be my first girlfriend and, one of the happiest days of my life, was the day you let me ask you out." He winced when he tried to give a smile at the memory. "I knew I loved you that time we had that snowball fight – December 10 of last year. Remember? You threw a snowball at me when I was trying to pick up the mail?" He stared off into the distance, looking at the backyard as if it was much more interesting than it really was.

Emma gave a smile at the memory. "Yeah, I remember."

"Well, I have loved you every day since then," Walsh began, bringing his eyes up to meet hers. "Until today."

Emma's face immediately dropped. Her heart started pounding and her stomach churned, unable to comprehend what he just said. "What?"

Walsh took a deep breath. "I cared about you so much, Emma. I thought we were perfect for each other – that we would be one of those _high school sweethearts _couples, you know? But you lied to me, Emma. I _told_ you I thought he liked you, that he would do anything to make you his girlfriend. And you lied. You stood in my living room, telling me that there was nothing going on between you two, making me feel like a _fool_ for thinking that there might be." Walsh's eyes were red now, his voice tight. "I tried to ignore everything telling me that I was right, and that our love was stronger than any crush he might have. But, the minute you told me you kissed Killian was the minute I knew I could never trust you again – the minute I knew I would never be able to love you like I did."

"But… It was just a kiss! It meant nothing!"

"There shouldn't have _been_ a kiss to mean nothing," Walsh swallowed before continuing. "Jones would have never just gone up and kissed you, Emma. He had to think there was a reason – he had to think that there was some chance you'd be together."

"Yes, we kissed, but I stopped it as soon as I realized what was happening. Walsh, you have to believe me, it meant _nothing_!"

Walsh shook his head. "I _don't _believe you, Emma, and that's the problem."

Emma leaned back in her chair as she felt her throat swell. "So, what are you trying to say?"

Walsh blinked away his tears as he reached his hand over to her. "I'm saying that I wish with all my heart that I still loved you."

"You're… Breaking up with me?" Emma cried, standing up quickly and pacing the patio. Her legs felt like jell-o, but she just couldn't stay sitting anymore. "You're leaving me?"

"Em…" Walsh reached his hand forward to cup her face. "You left me a long time ago. Now, it's just official."

Emma's chest felt like it was being ripped open, like Walsh was taking her heart right out of her body and squeezing it before her very eyes. Her bottom lip began to tremble as tears welled in her eyes. "I don't want this to end…" she whispered to him, turning her face to kiss his palm. "I'll stop seeing Killian, I'll—"

"It's not about him anymore, Emma. It's about how if we stay together, I'm always going to be afraid that you'll cheat on me, that I'll always want you around me just so I can make sure you're not. That's not healthy…" Walsh brushed away a tear from her eye. "I think you should go."

"You don't know what you're saying, Walsh. You're on painkillers – you're going to regret this conversation tomorrow." Emma really didn't care how petty she sounded…

Walsh stood up, shaking his head and pulling his lips tight. Tears were now falling freely across his face. "Goodbye, Emma." He brought her hand up to his lips and bent down to kiss her knuckles before dropping them. "I'll see you around."

He turned them both and, together, he walked her through his house and out to her car. Ever the gentleman she once knew, he opened Emma's door for her and closed it once she was inside.

Without a second glance, he walked back up to his house, through the grass, and continued inside.

She was numb.

Yes_. That_ was the feeling.

Emma didn't want to go home – that would just lead her to sad thoughts in a ball on her bed – but she didn't want to see any of her friends, either. Everyone would look at her with pity, and she didn't want to feel like a burden to anyone.

Robin. _That's_ who she'll go see.

She used to be so close to Robin, he was her first ever knight-in-shining armor. He hadn't been around much lately, and she just wanted her first father figure to be like the father she never had: hold her and tell her how special she was after her first heartbreak.

Emma drove the familiar roads to Robin's store. He had told Marian, Emma, and Roland that the night crew was low on staff tonight and that he had to fill in. But, how crowded could it be at a camping supplies store on a Friday night? Surely, he could spare a few minutes for her.

Emma pulled up into the nearly empty parking lot and jumped out of the car. He owned the place – if he wanted to talk to her, he'd be able to do so. Grabbing her purse and phone, she wiped her eyes so no customers would see her and jogged into _"Hoods in the Woods"_.

The place was completely empty – not a single customer or employee around. In fact, most of the lights were off. Emma furrowed her eyebrows as she continued through the store until she came to Robin's office doors. There were lights streaming through the cracks in the door and she could hear his voice, proving that he was in there.

Without even knocking, Emma slowly opened the door to his large office without making a sound, trying to be quiet if he was on a business call.

He wasn't on a business call.

And, what she saw before her was something that she never would have been prepared for.

Robin was leaning over a dark haired woman, kissing her. She couldn't see the woman's face – Robin was blocking her from Emma – but it was _clearly_ not Marian. All she wanted to do was to scream at them to make this _stop_ but, instead, she stood there, frozen at the door, incapable of making any sound. The woman let out a breathy moan and hitched her leg higher around Robin's waist and she realized she'd seen those heels before.

In her living room.

Three weeks ago.

She drew in a big breath at the realization of who was here kissing Robin. The sudden sound caused Robin to jump off her very own social worker, Regina, from a very passionate kiss.

He started brushing the back of his hand against his lips, but it didn't help remove Regina's overly-red lipstick in the slightest. "Emma… What are you doing here?"

Emma started backing out of the room, shaking her head and staring between her social worker and her foster father as if she couldn't believe her eyes. How _could_ they? Once she was past the doorframe, she spun around until she could run out of the building.

_How could they?_

Robin was close on her tail. "Emma! Wait!" he kept on yelling as he followed her through the store. As soon as she was outside, she started clicking the "unlock" button on her key fob and running to the driver's side. Emma threw the door open and slid into the driver's seat, all the while hearing Robin call her name over and over again. She didn't even buckle before she started to drive away, wanting to get as far away from _that place _as soon as possible.

Emma started to mindlessly drive around Storybrooke, not quite sure what or where she wanted to go. Home was completely out of the question now – how was she ever supposed to look at Marian in the eyes now? She didn't want to face her friends, regardless of how supportive they would be, and she couldn't go to Walsh because…

Her breath caught when she thought of him.

It was a long shot, but Emma turned the car at the next stoplight and started finding her way to the community center. The class of the day should be over around now, and he might still be there because she knew he's been swimming afterwards. Maybe, if she was lucky, he would be there.

When she walked in the pool, she saw a petite red head standing by the edge of the water, taking out kickboards and stacking them into a pile. Emma exhaled in frustration as she jogged over to the girl. "Hey, is Killian here?" she asked.

The girl turned around to face Emma and shook her head. "Sorry, he had to miss tonight for some reason." Emma swallowed, knowing _exactly_ what that reason was. "But," the girl continued, "He's in the boy's locker room cleaning out his stuff. You could knock on the door or something?"

Emma tried to give a smile in thanks before jogging around the pool to the far corner, where the community center's pool locker rooms were located. With a slight glance back at the red-haired girl to make sure she wasn't looking, she pushed her way into the locker room, praying that Killian was in here alone.

"Killian?" Emma hissed into the empty room. She started traveling throughout the room, turning her head at each new open space. "Killian?" she said, a little louder this time and, from the back right, she heard a grunt of frustration.

Emma tip-toed her way over and peered over the lockers to see if it was Killian who was in there and, for the first time that night, she was lucky. Killian was staring with an angered face down at a duffle bag, having a tough time zipping it up with his new cast.

Emma cleared her throat and stepped forward, Killian jumping back at the sight of her. He looked confused, indents in the corners of his lips and forehead from frowning, and his face was flushed. He looked over the locker to make sure no one was in before he stepped forward towards her. He leaned his head in and whispered, "Swan? You do know this is the men's locker room, right?"

Emma failed to grin as she replied, "That explains the smell." Killian lifted one of his cheeks in a fake smile, but dropped it almost immediately. Emma reached her arm up to touch his jaw, tilting his head to the side to examine the black bruise. "What did the doctors say?"

"Broke my hand and bruised my jaw," he started. "I'm in this cast for at least seven weeks, and I won't be able to swim because of it."

"Killian, I'm so sorr—"

He held up his left hand to tell her to stop. "No, don't apologize. I was the one who kissed you when I shouldn't have. I was way out of line."

Emma looked down at his cast before turning back towards him. "Walsh said I must have led you on if you believed that you should kiss me. Is that true?"

Killian opened his mouth a few times before finally settling on, "I must have seen some things that weren't actually there…" He took a step forward and placed a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry I kissed you, Swan."

His eyes were blue, too blue, and as she looked into them, she wanted nothing more than to forget. Forget what happened that afternoon, what happened with Walsh, with Robin… _She just wanted to forget._

"Well, I'm not," Emma said, reaching forward and putting a hand on each side of his face. She then pulled him in as she kept one hand on his face and slipped the other one down to his back. She pulled him in closer as she dragged her lips on his and Killian, who had clearly been confused by the sudden intrusion, finally began to kiss back.

Suddenly, he stopped, pulling back from her. "What about Walsh?"

Emma brought his head back to her mouth as she whispered, "Who cares about him?" She then surged forward again, almost knocking him over as she pushed him until his back was against the lockers.

Killian's eyes had closed as he began to move his lips with hers, but then stopped again. "Emma, look what happened last time… You're going to regret this."

Emma shook her head. "No, I'm not." Without thinking, she pulled off her shirt, leaving herself in only her bra. Killian's eyes widened and his neck muscles tightened as all his effort was put into not looking down. Emma pulled his hands around her until they were touching her bare back. "Seriously – don't worry about him," she whispered, pushing Killian back towards the locker to kiss him again. "We're done, anyway."

Killian, using all his force, pulled his head back again. "Emma, Emma! Stop, please."

"Why? I know you want this!"

Killian shook his head. "I do, but I don't want to be a rebound."

"You're not a rebound, Killian." Emma explained in a low voice. "I just didn't meet you first." She leaned back down and peppered kisses along his jaw, unbuttoning his shirt and smiling when she heard a groan coming from him.

Finally, Killian said the one thing that made Emma stop. "I'm not ready for this." Emma pulled back from him, a furrowed look on his face. "I'm not ready for whatever this is…"

Emma stopped everything she was doing, dropping her hands from the last button on his shirt just as he began stammering, "I don't know what… I haven't…"

Emma immediately backed off from him, grabbing her shirt from the floor and shrugging it on the best she could, only to realize it was backwards. She didn't care, though. She just needed to get out of there.

Regret? Embarrassment? She didn't know what the feeling in the pit of her stomach was, but it wasn't something she liked. "I'm…" For the first time that night, Emma finally let tears fall from her eyes. "I'm sorry, I'm…"

Emma turned around to get out of there, and fast. She felt a hand tug on her left one and Killian say, "Emma, wait!" But she shook it off and began to walk faster. "Can we just talk?" she heard Killian plead from behind her, the footsteps catching up to her. "Don't run away this time, please!"

Emma shook her head. She had to pull it together, she couldn't cry. When Killian tried to grab her hand again, Emma pulled it away and started running. Running out of the locker room, running out into the parking lot. Emma hopped into the car and drove off as she saw her ex-tutor waiting by the entrance, his face downcast.

God, she screwed up.

Why did she always screw everything up?


	24. Chapter 24

Killian went back into the community center's locker room feeling worse than ever. The heartbreak had been dulled for a bit from everything that happened that afternoon, but now that Emma left, it was just piled back on. Maybe even more than it had been before.

He lied down on the long bench in between lockers and touched his lips. Her kiss still lingered there, despite her quick departure. Tonight's kiss was different than the one from Wednesday night. Each one was desperate and emotional, and Killian's brain was swirling the entire time it happened. He wasn't even able to _think_, which was probably why he could barely make coherent sentences around her.

Even though it ended with Emma running away, he's glad he stopped… _whatever_ that was. He ended up with a broken hand and a bruised chin last time they kissed – who knows what would have happened if anything further happened. Besides, Emma would hate herself if they had really gone through with anything, and Killian would never be able to live with himself knowing he hurt Emma beyond repair.

The words, "We're done, anyway," played over and over in his mind. Killian didn't really know what that meant, but after everything he's seen in Walsh and Emma's relationship, there's no way it was what it sounded like. Honestly, she was probably just still shaken up from the fight earlier and acted without realizing what she was doing.

Killian felt his pocket buzz, and immediately he reached into his pocket and fished out his phone.

_You're grounded. Why are you not back yet?_

Killian sighed at his brother's message as he shoved it back into his pocket, ignoring it altogether. He just needed to think, without Emma or his friends or Liam breathing down his neck. He stood up and went back to his locker, throwing all his swimming stuff in his bag without putting the care it really needed – hell, he wouldn't need it now – and left the community center, wanting to get as far away from that place as possible.

* * *

Emma had successfully dodged Marian when she got home. She let out a breath when she heard her reading a story to Roland from his room, and she did her best to sneak in without being noticed.

As soon as she closed the door, she fell onto her bed and huddled into a little ball. She hadn't even turned on the lights, making the only source a full moon shining through the window. Now that she was alone, she let herself cry. She kept herself as silent as possible so Marian wouldn't hear and try to come in, but every once in a while, a sob slipped out of her throat.

Emma didn't know how long she was crying, but suddenly she heard a soft knock at her door. Emma quickly shut her eyes, hoping that she could pull off being asleep. However, when she tried to let out a calm breath, it ended up releasing everything that had been built up, blowing her cover.

Even though she knew someone had come in, she kept her eyes closed and pretended to sleep, only using her ears to figure out the rest. Whichever foster parent had come in had walked to the other side of the room, pulled the chair out from her desk and placed it right beside her. Finally, she felt the rough fingers place a strand of hair behind Emma's ear and wipe away the tears that had fallen.

"Emma, we need to talk," Robin said, quietly.

"No," Emma whispered back, still not opening her eyes.

Robin continued to brush her hair until she finally opened her eyes to look at him. "There she is…" Robin smiled, although it didn't reach his eyes. "We need to talk," he said, again.

"You cheated on Marian," Emma blurted out, sitting up so Robin didn't have the upper hand on her. She was almost 18 – almost an _adult_. She needed to prove to him that she was one.

"I did," Robin agreed, not even trying to deny it.

"For how long?" Emma asked.

Emma could see thoughts forming behind his eyes, as if he was trying to decide if he should tell her. Finally, he conceded, offering her the truth. "It started when Regina came to visit after your sixteenth birthday check up."

Wow. It had been going on for almost two years. The thought that he was able to keep this from them for _so long_ made her stomach flip, almost making it worse. "And it's been Regina the entire time?"

"Yes."

"Anyone before?"

"No."

Emma shook her head. "I guess I shouldn't judge – I cheated on Walsh, too."

Robin looked shocked at the news. "What?" he asked.

"With Killian… My tutor."

Robin studied her a bit more before continuing. "Did he do anyth—"

"No! We just kissed," Emma's cheeks began to turn pink when she realized what Robin must have been thinking. "The other night, when I came home soaking after getting my phone back and I claimed I slipped and fell in the pool? I lied about the whole thing. Killian and I kissed." Robin nodded, placing a hand over hers and waited for her to continue. "And now, Walsh broke up with me, and Marian's going to leave you, too."

"Emma…"

"And everything is my fault. Regina only came into your lives because of me. I caused this mess, and now I'm going to lose my family because of it."

"Hey, hey," Robin said, interrupting her. "This is not your fault. _None_ of this is your fault. Killian shouldn't have kissed you, and you're a good person."

"But Regina…"

"I made that decision on my own, and no one else is to blame." Robin took Emma's hands. She knew she should want to tug them away, want to throw him out of her room, but this was _Robin_, and if there was even the tiniest bit of truth to her foster father's words, she'd want to listen. "And believe me, Emma. You did not lose your family. You'll never lose us."

"Did you end things with Regina?" Emma asked. She was shy with the question, not knowing if she really wanted to know.

"No," Robin said. "I didn't have time to. I drove around town trying to find you, and then had to come home when I couldn't figure out where you had gone. I was on the verge of calling the police, thinking you ran away."

"Are you _going _to leave her?"

"The first chance I get, I promise."

Emma swallowed, her mouth unnaturally dry. "Are you going to tell Marian?"

"It would be the honorable thing to do." Emma wanted to laugh in his face – the honorable thing to do would to _not_ cheat on his wife. But, for the moment, she just let it go. "And because of that, I need you to not tell Marian."

"You still want to keep it secret from her!" she cried before she could stop the words from escaping her mouth.

"No, because it needs to be _me_ who tells her, and it has to be the perfect moment. I can't just say something when I'm on my way to work." Robin explained it to her as if it was the most logical thing in the world. "It has to be a good time when it's just us and there's plenty of time to talk."

"Wednesday."

Robin scrunched his nose as he tried to figure out what Emma was saying. "What?"

"You have until Wednesday – my birthday – to tell her. Otherwise, I'm going to tell her."

Robin shook his head. "No, you're not going to give me an ultimatum."

"Yes, I am," she puffed out her chest as if to prove a point. "When I turn 18, I'm not going to be Marian's responsibility anymore, and she's _still_ letting me live here. I don't want to be lying to her when she's being so kind. So, after Wednesday? I _have_ to tell her."

Robin opened his mouth, about to tell her no again, before closing it and holding out his hand for a deal. "I'll tell her by Wednesday so you can have a great eighteenth birthday."

"And I want a new social worker, too," Emma responded, not taking his hand before he agreed to all her demands.

"You know that's not how it works. Besides, you're aging out of the system on Wednesday, anyway, and you won't be one of Regina's cases anymore."

"Fine, maybe _I _won't be, but then I want a new one for Roland."

"Emma…"

"I don't want that woman coming into our house anymore!"

Robin pushed some hair behind her ear. "I promise, Regina and I will be through by tomorrow morning, but I can't just ask for a new social worker."

Robin's words didn't console her at all. Instead, it made her lose the final bit of trust she had in him, and suddenly, she knew how Walsh must have felt when he found out about the kiss.

"I don't want her in our lives anymore…" Emma muttered.

Robin leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "You're never going to see Regina again after Wednesday when we all sign your aging out paperwork. Whenever she comes over to check in on Roland, I'll make sure you're out of the house. Until then, I will take care of everything – don't worry about this, alright?"

Her forehead burned from the touch of his kiss and, as soon as he left, Emma rubbed her forehead, willing it to wash away any feeling of him left upon her.

Emma's heart clenched. A father isn't supposed to _ever_ cause this sort of emotional pain, and there was one last thought Emma had as she lay down to sleep.

"_Technically, he's not my father."_

* * *

Emma woke up groggy. She balled her fists as she rubbed her eyes, rolling over the bed and standing up. She hadn't eaten the previous night, so she was quite anxious to get some food in her stomach.

Emma made the slow walk downstairs, still half asleep, when she heard the voices of Robin and Marian coming from the kitchen. She became curious about what they could be talking about so early in the morning. Slowly, she crept up the hallway and hid behind the door as she listened to her foster parents' conversation. Memories of the previous night immediately flooded Emma's brain as she began to listen to their strained and emotional voices.

_"How could you?"_

_"I'm sorry, Marian."_

_"I want you to leave."_

_"Now, Marian, please don't—"_

_"You've broken up this family, Robin!"_

_"No, _Emma_ broke up this family."_

_"What?"_

_"All of this is her fault. She's the one who brought Regina into our lives, and she's the one who caught us."_

_"You're right. It _is_ her fault."_

_"And, on top of it, it's because of her I'm telling you, anyway! You would have never found out, and our lives would go on as normal. She's responsible for all of this."_

_"In a few days, she's 18 and no longer our job. We can just kick her out instead of you and get on with our lives."_

_"Good riddance. We're not going to get funding for her anymore, anyway, so anything she needs is going to be out-of-pocket."_

_"Yeah, there was a reason we didn't adopt her."_

_"When are we going to tell her?"_

_"Let's wake her up right now and tell her to start packing. She only has four days left here, and it would be a good idea to get a head start on this."_

Emma opened her eyes, shooting up in her dark room, looking around and trying to calm her breathing. She glanced down and saw she was still in last night's clothes, and she lifted her hand to her eye and forehead as she reached over to her phone to see what time it was. 1:56 AM.

It was a dream. It was a dream.

She kept saying the four words over and over in her head again, trying to convince herself it wasn't real, even if everything in her foster parents said in the dream _was_ true.

Emma had been the reason Robin and Regina met.

Emma had caught Robin and Regina.

Emma had given Robin an ultimatum to tell Marian.

_She_ broke up the family.

Emma lied back down in the bed, closing her eyes as tears started to prickle again. She tried to go back to sleep, but nothing worked – her mind was racing too much. Knowing she had lost the battle, she quickly rolled over and found her duffel bag in her closet. It was the one that Regina had given her when she left her last house in Brunswick, the one she carried all her worldly possessions in when she was fourteen. Emma began meandering her room to find anything that reminded her of Walsh or Robin or Killian – or Regina, for that matter.

The first thing she threw in the bag was the stereotypical picture of her and Walsh in a photobooth. She barely even looked at it as she tossed it in, making herself erase the memory from her mind as she did. She followed that with a picture of her and Robin and Roland eating ice cream two summers ago, then the heart locket Walsh gave her for her birthday last year, then the "I Love You" Bear he gave her a few weeks ago, then the baseball cap she always wore to the games she and Robin go to during the summer…

The picture of Killian's black socks underneath red, plaid pajama pants taped haphazardly alongside the collage of pictures on her wall…

It wasn't until she picked up a small stuffed animal that Emma broke and fell into a weeping pile on the floor. It was a monkey that Walsh had won for her at a carnival last summer. He had played the stupid shooting game over and over again when she said that the monkey was cute, and beamed with pride when he _finally_ won the damn game. She hugged the monkey to her chest for dear life, stroking the soft fur that wasn't so soft anymore from how often she cuddled with it.

Walsh was a constant in her life – someone she always could count on. He was there for her when she needed him and, like he said mere hours ago, she thought they were going to be _high school sweethearts_. And now he was gone because Killian kissed her. Because she had weird, unwanted feelings for her tutor, who was merely helping her get some A's in her math class. Until it was _more_ than that.

She stuffed the monkey in the bag, too.

There were only a few more items she put in there – the hardest was putting the picture of Robin smiling next to Emma right after she got her license. He seemed so happy for her, like he was a proud father of his teenage daughter.

Now, she didn't know if he was smiling because of Emma's success, or because of screwing her social worker.

Emma zipped up her bag quickly and picked it up, tiptoeing around the house so she wouldn't wake anyone. She moved her way down the stairs and through the kitchen, in the dark, until she made it to the garage.

She marched over to the garbage can with determination coursing through her whole body. She threw opened the lid, wincing at the loud _bang!_ and hoping it didn't wake anyone up. She used both hands to pick up the duffle bag – there was more in it than she thought there'd be – and began to stuff it in.

Right as she tried to let go, she just _couldn't_. There were so many memories of her loved ones that she just couldn't let go. But, she couldn't bring it back into her room, either. Finally, she decided to stick it up on the top shelf, behind all of Marian's gardening tools. She climbed the ladder and stuck it in a dark corner, leaving it there to rot until the end of time.

She trudged back into her house and to her room. As she stepped in, she noticed how bare her room now looked. There were still some pictures and decorations, but she hadn't realized how much of her stuff reminded her of the three men who betrayed her most.

Or, she supposed, one who betrayed her, one whom she betrayed, and one who ruined it all.


	25. Chapter 25

_**I find reviews quite funny. They'll say what they hope to see, and either they've predicted quite accurately, or they've missed the mark by a mile :)**_

_**You're getting another update because this is already written, and if I don't update today, you won't get anything until next Monday.**_

* * *

It's a difficult thing, trying to avoid one's parents.

Emma had thought she had mastered it back when she was nine in Ellsworth, but she hasn't needed to avoid Marian or Robin or any foster parent since she was fourteen. She must be out of practice, or something, because this morning, this _weekend_, she wanted nothing more than to avoid _both_ of them, and it seemed like she just couldn't.

Emma woke up much earlier than she typically would for a Saturday morning. She dressed as quickly as she could and found her way down the stairs. She went into the kitchen to grab the keys, hoping to get out of the house before anyone would see her, but as soon as she entered, she froze at the sight of both her parents. Robin was sitting at the table, nibbling bacon, and Marian was cooking some more breakfast foods for her and Roland. Emma's eyes shifted from Robin to Marian, trying to decide if there was any tension between the two, but couldn't find any. That only meant that Robin hadn't told Marian yet.

When Marian heard Emma's footsteps, she turned around. She set down the plate and walked over to Emma, giving her a big hug. Emma's eyebrows furrowed as she tried to figure out why Marian was hugging her when she heard her say, quietly by her ear, "I'm so sorry to hear about Walsh." Her foster mother pulled back, and Emma was speechless. "Robin told me you two broke up last night after you went to bed."

Emma shot Robin a glare, which he responded with a shake of his head. He clearly hadn't told Marian about his affair with Regina, but he told her about breaking up with Walsh when it had barely been 12 hours ago? "Uh, thanks," she said, and hadn't realized her voice would sound so sad.

It made Marian's face melt. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Emma gave a noncommittal shrug. "I guess I just want to forget about it and get on with my everyday life." Her voice cracked towards the end, causing her cheeks to redden.

"Okay, well, do you want to come to the pool with Roland and me when he wakes up? I know you've been doing that a few times…"

Emma immediately declined, wanting to get out of this room and situation as quickly as possible. "No, I just want to go over to Ruby's."

Marian nodded at that, giving Emma the personal space she's always appreciated. Without saying anything else, Emma headed towards the door. "Goodbye, Emma," Robin said, and it caused tears to fill her eyes.

How _dare _he act like nothing has happened? Like she couldn't look at him without seeing Regina's leg hitched on his hip? How could he act like a perfect husband and father when, in reality, he was a cheating bastard willing to risk losing the only family she'd ever had?

Emma ignored the sentiment and left for the garage. Her eyes glanced up at Marian's gardening supplies, pain shooting through her heart knowing what was behind it, before getting into the car and putting it into drive. She needed to get to Ruby. She needed to confide in her friend.

It was only 9:30 in the morning on a Saturday when she pulled into Ruby's driveway, although she texted her friend ahead of time to make sure she was awake. Ruby had been waiting at the front door – already looking perfect for the day – and said something behind her before running to Emma's car and getting in.

"Oh, Emma, you look terrible!" Ruby said. "What happened?"

"Not here…" Emma replied, backing out of the driveway and turning down the road onto Main Street. "We're not talking anywhere in Storybrooke." Ruby gave her a concerned look, but nodded in agreement, leaning back in the seat and waiting for Emma to find a place for them to talk.

Emma felt like she was driving forever when she pulled up to a playground in front of Atlantis Elementary School. She hadn't planned on coming here – hell, she didn't even know _where_ she was driving at the time – but since it was so early in the morning, and the weekend, the playground was deserted, and she knew she'd be alone.

Well, at least deserted from the citizens of Storybrooke.

The two zipped up their fall jackets as they made their way over to the only two swings, right next to each other. It was probably a little cooler than Ruby liked, but it was going to be one of the last times they'd be able to get outside before it started to snow.

Ruby didn't pry, she just sat on her swing next to Emma and waited for when Emma felt ready to talk. Just as she was starting to dig her feet in the pebbles, Emma blurted out, "Walsh broke up with me."

When had Emma become a crier? She was tough, she had walls, she didn't _cry_ with sob stories. But, as soon as Ruby jumped off her swing and came around to hug Emma, tears fell from her eyes. Once more, Ruby didn't say anything, just held Emma like any good friend would do, until Emma pulled back. "When?" she asked, in a quiet voice.

"Last night."

Ruby gave her another pat on the shoulder before going back on her swing. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really." Emma honestly _didn't_ want to talk about it, but she knew she had to if she had any chance of feeling normal again. "God, Ruby, yesterday was a disaster."

Emma started to swing, hoping that the movements would make the tightness of her chest relax. Ruby, taking the hint, began her own swing. "What happened?"

"What part? The whole fucking day sucked." Ruby's head shot over to Emma, surprised by her friend's language. Emma shook her head. "It started Wednesday night."

Ruby gave a nod as she continued to listen.

"Well, I went back to the pool after Roland's swim lesson – I accidently left my phone there – and Killian was there, swimming alone. One thing led to another and he kissed me." Emma looked over to Ruby, but she was staring at the ground, concentrating on listening to Emma's story. "To be honest, it was kind of romantic how it happened, but then I almost drowned trying to get away from him."

Ruby turned to look at her. "I knew about the kiss," she admitted, and Emma drew in a breath. "I was waiting for you to tell me."

"How'd you know?"

"You were acting weird on Wednesday, and I knew you had seen Killian at Roland's swim lesson, so I had an idea that it had something to do with him. I demanded Killian tell me, and he did. He seemed pretty beaten up about it."

Emma waited a bit before continuing. "I wish I had known you knew… It might have made everything easier." Emma and Ruby were in perfect sync with their swings. Neither were swinging too high, just a simple back and forth until they were able to comfortably swing and talk at the same time. "Well, with everything bottled up, I accidently told Walsh right before my scheduled tutoring session with Killian on Friday. Ruby, I'd never seen such fire in his eyes, in _anyone's_ eyes – not even Mr. Jafar. Remember the foster father I told you about before I came to live with Marian and Robin?"

"Yeah, I remember," Ruby said, and her voice was quiet.

Emma swallowed. "Walsh went into Mr. Spencer's room and he and Killian started yelling at each other, and then they started fighting. Walsh ended up with a broken nose – he was so pale when he left with Mrs. Ozland from losing so much blood, and Killian ended up with a broken hand and a bruised jaw." Emma turned to look at Ruby, who had slowed down her swinging slightly. "Killian's in a cast and can't swim for the next seven weeks."

"Ouch," Ruby added before waiting for what Emma was going to say next.

"Well, when Walsh got home from the ER, I went over to him to talk about the afternoon and make sure he was okay. Instead, he broke up with me." Emma had kept it pretty together until then, but the memory of Walsh telling her he didn't love her anymore and that she lied was too much. She pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes until she saw black, hoping that would make the pain go away. "I didn't want to break up with him last night, Ruby. I love him."

Somewhere in her confession, Emma had stopped swinging, and she felt Ruby's hand brushing up and down her back. "That sounds like a terrible day, Emma…"

"It gets worse," Emma choked out, looking over at her friend. Ruby was frowning, but continued her ministrations. "Well, Robin was working late at the store, so I thought, _"Hey! I can talk to Robin!"_ because don't dads usually help their girls during a break up? I had assumed he was going to just, you know, hug me and comfort me and offer to go kick Walsh's ass or something."

Ruby gave a short chuckle. "He'd never do that. He's too sweet…" Ruby's face dropped when she saw Emma's eyes on her. "What happened there?"

Emma took a deep breath before divulging into this part of the tale. "Well, the store was clearly closed, even though he had told us that he was working, and when I got into his office, he was kissing my social worker – Regina – and I'm sure if I hadn't shown up, well…" Emma looked at Ruby, trying to get Ruby to figure out what she was hinting at. When Ruby's mouth went into an "Oh" shape, Emma continued. "I ran out of there as quickly as I could…"

"I'm so sorry. I was up until midnight last night! Why didn't you come over and talk to me?"

Emma shook her head. "That's not the end of the story." Ruby bit her bottom lip before nodding, waiting for whatever Emma had to say next. "I didn't want to go home and face Marian, and I don't know why I didn't want to come to you – I remember thinking I didn't want you pitying me or something – but somehow, I had ended up at the community center."

"Oh, Emma, what did you do?" Ruby knew exactly who would be at the community center, and her tone indicated that she knew Emma must have done something stupid.

Which, Emma admits, she did.

"I don't know why I thought I should go to Killian, but I did. And Killian was being super sweet and apologizing for the kiss, and, I don't know… I ended up kissing him in the men's locker room… And kissing him, a lot."

Ruby closed her eyes, and Emma could tell she was in physical pain listening to the story, but Emma trudged on.

"I… I wanted to forget everything that happened today, and for some reason, I thought sleeping with Killian was the answer."

"Please tell me you didn't," Ruby cut in. "Emma, don't tell me—"

"Don't worry, I didn't…" Emma started making the same circles in the pebbles that Ruby had earlier. "We didn't even get close – he refused to go to second base. I had my shirt off and his shirt almost unbuttoned, but he wouldn't even leave my eyes, and he kept stopping and trying to think of my feelings and then finally, he told me he wasn't ready to do anything, and that's kind of when I realized how stupid I was being and I had to get out of there."

Ruby sat silently.

So did Emma.

"I wonder if I would have really gone through with it, if Killian hadn't stopped me."

Ruby shrugged next to her.

"I mean, we really didn't _do_ anything other than kiss, and we probably would have just had this heavy make out session or something…"

Ruby shrugged again.

"Well, I went home and crawled into my bed, and Robin came in to talk to me. And he said that he hadn't broken up with Regina yet, but planned to do so today, and he said he _"had to do the honorable thing"_ and tell Marian. Although, that's total shit, because he told me it's been going on for two years and he never told us. I told him he had by Wednesday to tell Marian or I would do it."

"I hate your social worker," Ruby spat.

Emma let out a sigh. "I do, too."

"Is that everything?"

"I mean, I took everything in my room that reminded me of Robin or Walsh or Regina or Killian and threw it in a duffel bag and tried to throw it out, but I couldn't go through with it and ended up shoving it up onto the top shelf of that big shelf we have in our garage." Emma shook her head, her eyes filling with tears once again. "Killian's not my math tutor anymore and if I don't get an A on my math quiz on Monday, there's no possible way I'll be leaving Mr. Jefferson's class by the end of this trimester. How did my whole life fall apart within the matter of five hours?"

Ruby and Emma stood up and walked over to the sole bench outside of the playground. Ruby leaned Emma's head on her shoulder and used the arm behind her to give her a side hug and held her there. Emma's pocket vibrated, and she reached in to see who had texted her this morning.

**_I'm grounded, but I have access to my phone. Can we  
talk about last night?_**

It was Killian. She turned off her phone and tossed it away from them, into the playground's pebbles. She knew her phone would be okay – Robin had bought her one of those indestructible cases when she got it for her sixteenth birthday. However, now she didn't know if he was just compensating for something. In the end, she didn't really care if it was broken because she didn't want to talk to anyone, except Ruby, and she was sitting right next to her.

"All Killian ever wants to do is talk. Can't he just leave me alone?"

"He cares about you, more than you know," Ruby gave Emma a squeeze. "Victor told me how much Killian likes you."

Emma somehow let out a laugh. "Yeah, well look how great that worked out for me."

"Emma…"

Emma sighed. "What am I going to do?"

Ruby and Emma were looking out at the playground. Their swings were still moving back and forth from when they were on it mere seconds ago, and the entire playground looked deserted.

It was funny, how similar this playground was to her life at that moment. No one there, the mere existence of people supporting it simply a pleasant memory. Clouds were above them, causing a darkness to cover each part of the park. It's almost as if it was just there, _existing_ because someone built it, for no other reason.

"Well, I see that you only have two options."

It was Emma's turn to wait and listen to what Ruby had to say.

"You can either sit here with me, wallowing in your sorrows and pitying yourself, or you can take these obstacles and face them head on."

Emma turned to Ruby. "What do you mean, face them head on?"

"Well, you can figure out what to do to make things right again. Do you want to get back together with Walsh?"

Emma thought about it for a moment. Did she _really_ want to get back together with Walsh?

Walsh was perfect for her, and she really did love him. But, he had his faults, and maybe this break up was a _good_ thing. She had been feeling less and less of a connection to him, and maybe he was right when he said that she ended the relationship a long time ago. Maybe they weren't meant to be together – maybe she had just gotten so used to him being around that she thought she was supposed to keep him.

"No," she said, and it felt like a tiny weight had been lifted off her chest. "No, I don't think I do."

Ruby nodded, and continued. "I guess with Robin, you have to just wait and see if he tells Marian on his own, but there are other things you can do to make sure he's through with your social worker."

"Like what?" Emma asked, turning to Ruby with a confused glance.

"I don't know… You could tell Regina's boss about what happened, what you witnessed, and maybe she would be relocated to another state, or something."

"I think she'd probably lose her job."

"Frankly, she should."

Emma thought about it for a second. Regina _should_ lose her job. Emma didn't know which one of them started this_ dalliance_, but it was completely inappropriate for her to get involved with one of her case's – _two_ of her cases' – foster parent. "I don't think I could do that." She didn't want Regina around _them_ anymore, but she did put Emma into a good home, a home that she wasn't afraid she'd be mistreated.

"Why not? Grow some balls, Emma, and take your life back."

Emma smiled at her friend's bluntness. "I—"

"Honestly, Emma, I'm so pissed at her that I'm going to do it if you don't. But, I really think it needs to come from _you_."

"You're right. A social worker is supposed to make you feel _safe_, and knowing that she did those things with Robin just makes it… I don't want her in my life anymore." Emma decided right then and there. "As soon as I get home, I'm going to report her."

Ruby gave her a pat on the back, then went on to say, "And Killian…"

Emma closed her eyes at the name. Her ex-tutor… The one who took her life and flipped it upside down.

"I really think you should talk to him… Hear what he has to say."

"But—"

"Seriously, Emma. At least, think about it."

"I'm not making you any promises, and it may take a while before I do."

"I know."

* * *

**_I'm grounded, but I have access to my phone. Can we  
talk about last night?_**

She didn't respond

Why was his first major crush so damn infuriating?

He didn't have a wink of sleep last night – all he could think of was Emma and her kissing him in the locker room or losing his three jobs or how now he has to go see a therapist or how _every damn time_ he lies on his right side, his pillow hits his face _just enough_ to make him whimper in pain, and that's not even including the constant shooting pain in his hand.

And now, all he wants to do is straighten this… _thing_… out with Emma, but she's cutting him out again.

His mind is going nuts.

_Maybe she's sleeping…_

No. If she's anything like him, there's no way she's sleeping after what happened last night. After she practically threw herself at him and he just rejected her, like he didn't _care_ about her. He tries to think what he should have done differently, though, but he keeps coming up blank. Killian was just being a decent person, he was doing the right thing…

God, she's a good kisser.

Granted, he doesn't have anyone to compare her to, but he can't imagine it gets much better than what she was doing to him. He brought his hand up to his mouth again, remembering the feeling of her lips sliding over his, how soft and warm and nice it was to be kissing her.

He then sighed.

What is he even _doing_ thinking about their kisses? Frankly, he should be forgetting about it altogether. She clearly doesn't want to see him, doesn't want to talk to him. She's probably sitting with Walsh, right now, rubbing his back and taking care of him because _he's her damn boyfriend_ and Killian didn't meet her first.

Killian stood up, shaking his head. He's just so angry all the time, and his life… His life is just…

He hates his life right now.

There really isn't anything else to say about it.

His phone buzzed from the nightstand, and Killian rushed over to see it, hoping beyond all hope that it was Emma.

It wasn't.

_ So… My dad told me an interesting story last night._

Oh, god. He hadn't even thought about what he was going to say to his friends, let alone Victor. It was _his_ dad that saw him yesterday and, while it was slightly comforting having someone he knew take care of him, Killian hadn't really thought about the _afters_, the when his doctor got home.

**_ Oh yeah? What'd he say?_**

_Just that you stopped by the ER yesterday, nothing else – I don't know, something about doctor-patient confidentiality._

Killian didn't respond, hoping Victor would drop it but, being Victor, he didn't.

_ Everything okay?_

**_ Physically? Broken hand and bruised jaw._**

As Killian saw the three dots of terror signifying Victor typing back, he could only imagine what Victor must be thinking right now. Victor was smart – one of the smartest in their grade – and with a doctor for a father and his desire for a pre-med major, he knew that Victor would figure it out with the snap of his fingers. He knew Victor would figure out he got in a fight, and probably that it was against Walsh.

His response wasn't what he was expecting, though.

_ And if I asked about everything else in your life, I'm guessing  
you'd tell me you're fine?_

It was a slap in the face.

Had he really been this distant and cold to his friends?

Killian should text him back, text him everything that's been going on in his life. But that's not what he did.

**_Why lie?_**

He could see Victor's face reading his text – see how irritated, frustrated, and betrayed he must feel. Victor, Phillip, and Killian had been the three amigos since freshman year, and, even if they've added a few friends to the posse, they'd dealt with a lot together.

_ Phil and I were going to go see a movie today. Want to  
come? Or are you too busy swimming?_

They're pissed.

They should be.

It doesn't make it any easier knowing they should be.

Killian's dad grounded him as soon as he and Liam got home from the doctor, and went on to have a long, long, long one-on-one conversation about how stupid he was acting and how he was better than that. Killian had always been his father's good child – Liam was always a bit of a trouble maker – and so when the disappointment that flooded through his father's eyes, the ones he saw when Liam skipped school, was directed at him, he knew he screwed up. Big time.

He didn't want his friends to know he was grounded. In fact, all he wanted to do was make sure they never found out about the suspension or the kiss or anything else.

So he just made something up.

_ No, I'm on too many painkillers. Probably not a good_  
idea to leave the house. Have fun and don't spoil  
it for me.

He placed his phone back on the dresser and decided to do the one thing he could do to make his life normal.

He did his homework.

Most people would find it boring, to do homework on a Saturday morning, and Killian was no exception. In fact, he usually made a point to save Saturdays to himself.

But today? It _relaxed_ him.

There was no deadline, no jobs he had to get to, sleep wasn't clouding his brain. He was free to do his homework, do it thoroughly, and do it well.

He missed this.

The easiness of _simply_ sitting at his desk and _simply_ doing his homework.

* * *

Ruby and Emma were sitting in Ruby's room. "Are you sure I should be doing this?" she asked, looking down at her phone and Regina's business card. Regina had given it to her when she first became her social worker in case of emergencies.

"Absolutely," Ruby said.

Emma took a deep breath and called the agency number at the bottom. After three rings, a lady with a sharp voice picked up. "Hello? This is Cora Heartson. How may I help you?"

Emma gave Ruby scared eyes as she sat up straighter. "Hello, Ms. Heartson. My name is Emma Swan and I am one of this agency's foster cases."

"Hello, Emma. How can I help you?"

Emma took a deep breath, uncertainty running throughout her whole body. "I'd like to make a report against my social worker, Regina Mills."

There was a slight pause before Cora said, "Alright, Emma. You have my full attention. What happened with Miss Mills?"

Emma gave Ruby one final look before saying, "She broke up my family."


	26. Chapter 26

The first thing Killian realized is that his alarm didn't go off.

It was Monday, and he _should_ have gone to school, then Mist Haven, then back to school… He _should_ have run a student council meeting, saw his friends, and swam. But instead, it was 9:00 – well past when he would normally need to wake up – and he had nowhere to go, and nothing to do.

Well, nowhere to go until he had his first therapy session at 10:30.

Killian was sure that all of his teachers knew by now that he got into a fight with Walsh and that he got suspended because of it. He can just see Mr. Midas or Mrs. Darling's shocked faces when they hear _he's_ not coming to school, or Coach Eric's when he realizes his star swimmer isn't going to be coming to practice, the meet against Arandelle, or state races.

At least he had until Thursday to figure out what he's going to say to all of them.

Killian checked his phone, but Emma still hadn't texted back. He figured as much – it had been two days since their second kiss and if she had planned on talking _at all_, she would have reached out to him by now. But, there was still that hope in the bottom of his heart that wanted her to text him back.

Killian went over to his computer and emailed all his teachers and professors, asking them for homework, notes, extra credit, and new deadlines for classes. It was probably a long shot – why would they help the suspended student who had been doing poorly in their classes? – but he hoped that his previous status as perfect student would help him. As soon as he shot the last email, he backed up from his desk and slumped in the chair, putting his hands behind his head.

It was the first time that he was completely unsure what to do.

Killian had caught up on all his homework over the weekend, and it felt good not to have to worry about anything stopping him. Sure, his mind drifted to all the crap he'd been dealing with every so often, but it was nice to do AP Physics and AP Literature and Composition without being so damn tired.

Killian took out his copy of _To Kill A Mockingbird_ to prepare for what he might have in store for when he got back to school when he heard a knock on his door.

Liam stuck his head in without waiting for Killian to invite him in. He had taken a sick day, since his father hadn't been able to get off of work, and since Killian was a minor, someone had to take him to his therapy session.

"We're leaving for Dr. Hopper's in twenty minutes. Want some breakfast before we leave?" Liam was walking on eggshells ever since Killian ended up at the ER. He didn't know what would push him over the edge again, so he just kind of left Killian alone to brood by himself.

He was quite grateful for that.

"No, but I'll be down in a second," Killian replied, standing up and going to his dresser to pick out some clothes for the day.

"Killian, will you just eat _something_? Toast?" Liam pleaded, and Killian spun around towards him, confused with the anger in that suddenly surged through his body. "You're going to be hungry during your session if you don't."

"I'm really just _not hungry_. I'll be down when I change out of my pajamas, and then I'll go to this stupid appointment that you've set up."

Liam gave a slight nod before backing out of the room and leaving Killian alone.

* * *

"Here is some paperwork we need you to fill out and, once you're done, just give it back and Killian'll be all ready to go into his appointment," a woman at the front desk said.

"Thank you, Miss Blue," Liam said, giving a slight nod to the woman's nametag and a side grin before taking Killian's shoulder and guiding him to the chairs in the waiting room. The receptionist kept looking over at Liam while he was filling out paperwork, causing Killian to internally roll his eyes.

Killian's leg was bouncing on the floor as he waited for the session. He really didn't know what he should expect to happen today. Killian had already decided that he would not tell this psychologist _anything_, and he planned to just sit through the hour as if he was at home, doing nothing instead. He wasn't _crazy_, and he wanted nothing more than for people to stop acting like he was.

Liam got up and brought the paperwork back to the woman and returned. They sat in silence as they waited for Killian to be called in. There were a few other kids in the waiting room, but he was clearly the oldest. The magazine collection was purely _Highlights_ and _Time for Kids,_ and there were toys littering the floor.

It became quite obvious that Dr. Hopper was exactly what Dr. Whale had described him: a _child_ psychologist.

But, technically he was a child, and he would be until May.

Killian sank in his chair and, right as he was about to pull out his phone, a nurse stepped into the waiting room. "Killian Jones," she called, scanning the room and waiting for whomever it was to come over.

Killian took a deep breath, but was pulled up by Liam when he hadn't stood right away. Killian shook him off, giving him a dirty look, as the two went over to the lady. "Dr. Hopper will see you now," she said, pleasantly, and turned around, gesturing them to follow her.

The walls were brightly decorated. There were murals of hot air balloons and circuses on a bright yellow background and pictures of patients smiling and playing.

Yep, this was definitely for children.

Killian and Liam were brought to a room with a desk, a lounge, and a chair surrounded by books and toys. A man behind the desk adjusted his glasses as he looked down at some papers – probably Killian's background information or something.

The nurse cleared her throat and the man looked up. Hastily, he stood up and walked across the room, extending his hand and offering it to Liam. "You must be Mr. Jones," he said, kindly.

Liam gave a smile as he shook his head. "No, Mr. Jones is my father. I'm Liam, Killian's older brother." He gestured to his brother with his head as he let Dr. Hopper's hand go. "My father wasn't able to make it today, I hope it's alright he sent me instead."

Dr. Hopper gave an encouraging grin. "Absolutely, I'll be talking to Killian most of the time, anyway," he said, right as he turned to Killian. "And you must be Killian." He held out a hand to him, and Killian extended his own to shake it, despite wanting nothing to do with the man.

"Hello," he mumbled.

Dr. Hopper turned back to Liam and the nurse. "I think we'll take it from here," he smiled again, using a nod of his head as an order to leave.

Liam gave Killian an encouraging squeeze on his shoulder before leaving with the nurse.

Dr. Hopper closed the door behind them and pointed to the lounge. "Feel free to lie down, otherwise you could sit in that chair, if you'd like."

"I'm fine standing," Killian said, using the most authoritative voice he could muster.

"Well, I'm going to sit down," Dr. Hopper said, picking up some papers and a notebook from his desk and sitting down in the chair.

Dr. Hopper watched Killian as he stayed quiet, finally writing something down in the notebook when nothing happened. "What… What are you writing?" Killian asked, looking down at the notebook hesitantly and then back up at Dr. Hopper.

"The date and time."

"Why'd you need that?"

"Well, I'm going to be writing some notes to remind me what we've talked about in this session, should you and your father or brother choose to come back, and I need to make sure I know the date of this session."

"I'm not going to come back, you know," Killian said, crossing his arms. "I don't need a quack."

"Maybe you don't, but your doctor and family seem to think otherwise. Would you like to tell me why _they_ think so?"

Killian narrowed his eyes at Dr. Hopper before chuckling and pointing his finger at him. "You're a sneaky man, Dr. Hopper, trying to trick me into talking."

Dr. Hopper smiled and raised his shoulders. "I see you're too smart for that," he laughed. "Why don't we start with just getting to know each other? Where do you go to school?"

Killian eyed the psychologist again before saying, "Storybrooke, but I go to Mist Haven for math."

Dr. Hopper was clearly impressed, based on his expression alone. "Well, you must be an intelligent man, going to college in high school. What year are you?"

"A senior."

"Have you chosen a college to go to yet?"

"I was accepted to Harvard, if they still let me come…"

"And why wouldn't they let you come?" Dr. Hopper asked, writing something in his notebook while still staring at Killian.

Killian was about to answer when he chuckled again. "Where did you learn those tricks?"

Dr. Hopper smiled. "Caught me again," he said, still looking at the notebook. "You know, you're much smarter than the kids I usually work with."

"Smarter? Or older?"

Dr. Hopper looked up and nodded at his observation. "I take it you didn't like the magazines or decorations?"

Killian eyed the psychologist before taking a few steps across the room to sit down on the lounge, although he barely placed his body on it. As much as he'd never admit it to Dr. Hopper, his legs were getting tired, and it had barely been seven minutes – he'd never make it the full hour standing.

"I would have liked it ten years ago…"

Dr. Hopper wrote something down in his notebook before looking up at Killian again. "What happened to your arm?"

Killian looked down at his hand. "It's broken, and my jaw's bruised."

"How'd it happen?"

"I got in a fight…"

Dr. Hopper's eyebrows shot up. "A fight? I wouldn't have expected that from a high schooler who goes to Mist Haven for math and going to Harvard next year."

"Yeah, well neither did my teachers, friends, or family, but here I am, talking to a psychologist and suspended from school." Killian let out a sigh as he lied down on the lounge. "And I'm only going to Harvard if they still accept me."

Killian was now facing away from Dr. Hopper, but somehow knew he was still writing something in his notebook.

He already said too much.

Killian heard some papers shuffle before Dr. Hopper began talking again. "Your brother noted that he's concerned you're not eating."

Killian grunted as a reply.

"Want to talk about it?"

Killian shook his head, re-crossing his arms over his chest. "I've skipped a couple meals here and there… He's being overdramatic."

"You know, sometimes people do that because everything else in their life seems to be spiraling, and how much food they eat and what they choose is the one thing they know they're in control of. Do you think that's why you're skipping meals?"

Killian looked at the big clock on the wall as he swallowed. It had only been 15 minutes. He let out a big sigh. "Look, Dr. Hopper, I know you're just doing your job, but I'm not going to sit here and confess every shitty thing that's going on in my life just so you can report it back to my brother as soon as the session is over."

"I can't."

Killian's eyebrows furrowed as he sat up and looked at him. "Huh?"

"I can't tell him, or your father, or anyone, really. Anything you tell me will not be released to another soul, and anything you want to say will stay between us." Killian studied Dr. Hoppers face and he gave a nod. "You can tell me anything."

"And you won't tell my dad or Liam?"

"Unless you're saying something that's endangering you or someone else, I'm not allowed to."

"Really?"

"Even if I wanted to."

Killian took a deep breath and closed his eyes as he lied back down. "You're right, my life is out of control right now…" It was quiet, and Killian wasn't even sure Dr. Hopper had heard.

Apparently, he had. "And what can you do to get back in control?"

Killian squeezed his eyes tight, using every ounce of energy he had in himself to keep himself from crying. "I don't know."

"Tell me about school. How's that going?"

Killian frowned at his question. "Not good. I am forgetting about tests and doing half ass work on my projects…" Killian let out a deep breath. "I got a C on my math midterm because I didn't study for it, and a speech I did got a B- because I didn't prepare until 2:00 in the morning… Mr. Spencer – my favorite teacher – said all my teachers are noticing me struggling in school, when in reality, they claim I'm the smartest kid at Storybrooke."

Killian could hear Dr. Hopper scratching something in the notebook.

"Mr. Midas – my AP Lit and Comp teacher, and Professor Leopold from Mist Haven both told me they were disappointed in my work, and Mr. Spencer said – after my fight against Walsh – that the teachers were going to come up with an action plan and bring it to my father."

"It sounds like you have a lot of teachers who care about you if they've noticed a change in your behavior."

Killian scoffed. "They only noticed because they used to be able to count on me to answer their dumb questions in front of the class. Now, they're asking the class and they have no one to call on."

"I'm sure that's not true…"

Killian sighed. "It's not even that school is hard for me, it's more that I haven't been able to do the work because I have so much other stuff going on."

"Like what?"

"Swimming, my jobs…"

"Jobs? Plural?"

"Well, once I got into Harvard, my dad said that we didn't have enough money to pay for it, so Liam suggested I get a job, and by the next week, I had three."

"What do you do?"

"I _was_ a tutor, a lifeguard, and a swim teacher, but I lost all three of my jobs on Friday." Killian uncrossed his arms and let them dangle by his sides.

"How did you lose your jobs?"

"Well, Mr. Spencer thought that I should take a break from tutoring, but I know he actually doesn't think I'm doing a very good job because the girl I'm tutoring – Emma – hasn't been doing any better in school. And then because my cast can't go in water, I can't be a lifeguard or swim teacher, either."

There was a pause as Dr. Hopper wrote something down, and Killian glanced at the wall clock. He still had 35 minutes to go.

"So, if you can't go in water, you can't swim, either?"

Killian brought his hands up to his eyes. This was going to be the hardest part because he officially lost any chance of going to state or getting a swimming scholarship, and every damn time he thinks about it, he can barely breathe. Killian opened his mouth, about to answer, before closing it and shaking his head no.

"It seems like swimming is important to you…"

Killian nodded.

"Before you had to quit, were you good?"

Killian shot up on the lounge and started pacing the room. "Good? Hell, I was great. I've been on varsity since I was a freshman and was beating people way older than me. I just lost out on state by mere milliseconds last year, and I've been captain of the team for the past two years." Killian's voice cracked. "I've been swimming so much lately, but I'm only getting worse and worse. My most recent meet – the one against Atlantis – I pulled out of one race, I got last in the other, and then somehow, I pulled out a fricken bronze." Killian stopped at looked out the window. "I was practicing two hours every day on top of my swim practices three days a week, and somehow I was doing worse than ever." Killian turned to look at Dr. Hopper. "I haven't been in a pool in four days, but my body still feels like it's on fire."

"I think you were overworking yourself," Dr. Hopper noted. "And combining that with not eating and staying up late, your body probably just couldn't take the stress anymore."

"That's what Phillip – one of my friends – told me."

"And you didn't listen to him?" Dr. Hopper asked, starting to write again.

"I didn't listen to anyone…" Killian admitted, hanging his head in shame. "I thought I had to figure everything out, that I was just not used to the schedule, but between school and work and swimming and Emma…"

"You've mentioned Emma before. Who is she?"

Killian drew in a breath before shaking his head. "Just this girl at my school…"

"A girlfriend?"

Killian found his way back over to the lounge. "No. I've kissed her a couple times, but she has this boyfriend – Walsh – who is my least favorite person in the world."

"The same boy you got in the fight with?" Dr. Hopper asked, and Killian nodded. "So, you care about Emma?"

Killian put his hand on his forehead. "I mean, we've hung out a couple times, and I think about her _a lot_. Sometimes, I even think I might be getting her to like me, but then she always runs away from me." Killian turned to look at Dr. Hopper. "Girls are confusing."

"So confusing," Dr. Hopper smiled in agreement.

Killian gave a little laugh before becoming serious again. "And don't get me started on Liam…"

"Your brother?"

"He's just… He's my idol, and I just try to be perfect to impress him and prove to him that I'm good enough, but he's too overbearing, you know? You saw him! Look how much he wrote in that little section about things that concern him!"

Dr. Hopper chuckled. "He was quite thorough."

"I get that he's stepped up since my mom died, but I don't need another parent – I need a brother."

"Have you told him that?"

"No."

"Why not?"

Killian was silent, not wanting to answer the question. He looked up at the clock and noticed there was only 15 minutes left. How did time suddenly fly by?

"So, what do you want to do to change the future?"

"I don't know what I can do… What do you think?"

Dr. Hopper shuffled in his spot before leaning forward. Killian turned his head so he could look directly at the therapist's face. " Honestly, I think losing your jobs and swimming is the best thing that could have ever happened to you."

Killian's job dropped. "What? Aren't you supposed to, like, encourage me to reach for my dreams or something?"

Dr. Hopper laughed as he leaned back in his chair. "I am, but I also think you are way too stressed – at least, more stressed than a 17-year-old boy should be. Right now, I think you need to take a step back from everything – except school – and just concentrate on getting your life back on track."

Killian paused to think about what Dr. Hopper just said. Maybe taking a break _will_ be good for him. This weekend had sure been nice – he didn't have a care in the world and was just sitting at his desk, doing homework. Maybe going back might make his life easier.

"How would you feel about me prescribing you some anti-anxiety medication? I think it might help you."

Killian nodded before adding, "I didn't just come here to get drugs, you know."

Dr. Hopper smiled. "I know."

Killian sat in silence as Dr. Hopper continued to write something down. "Now the medication I'm giving you, you _must_ take with food. Otherwise, it won't work properly and you will become sick to your stomach."

Killian continued to sit in silence before saying, "Okay," in a small voice.

"Would you like to come back?" Dr. Hopper said. "I think it may be good for you to have an outlet for your frustration, since it seems like you don't want to go to your family, friends, or teachers."

Killian swallowed and, without knowing what was happening, he nodded his head.

"Thank you for being so honest with me today, Killian. Your life is tough, and I appreciate your cooperation."

Killian glanced at the clock, realizing the session was done. "Wow, that went quick…"

"It usually does when you start talking." Dr. Hopper stood up and went over to his phone and paged the front desk to send Liam back. "And I promise, I'm not going to say anything to anyone. Everything we talked about is going to stay between us."

Killian gave Dr. Hopper a grin just as Liam and a nurse walked through the door. "Well, that's a face I haven't seen in a while," he said as he walked over to Dr. Hopper. "How's Killian?"

Dr. Hopper smiled at Killian before saying, "I'm not allowed to disclose the topics Killian and I discussed."

Liam's face fell. "How am I supposed to help him if I don't know what you talked about?"

Dr. Hopper patted Liam's shoulder. "Killian can choose to tell you what we discussed, if and when he's ready, but otherwise I just suggest supporting him and not prying for information." Dr. Hopper looked back at Killian. "Although, I can say that Killian has shown some interest in anti-anxiety medication and expressed his want for more therapy sessions."

This seemed to have surprised Liam. "Alright," he said, taking the prescription Dr. Hopper passed him. "I'll get this filled and make an appointment. How often would you like him to come in?"

Killian turned to Dr. Hopper. He was curious to see how much therapy he said he'd need. "I think once every two weeks for now, and once things start smoothing over, he can probably go down to once a month. Although, I do want him to check in with Dr. Whale next week to make sure the medication I prescribed is working properly, and I'd also like you to call in and tell my receptionist how it's going."

"Of course," Liam replied, instantly. He held out his hand. "Thank you for your help," he said, and Dr. Hopper grabbed it.

"He's a fine young boy. You should be very proud of him."

Liam turned to look at Killian. "I am."

Killian's cheeks turned pink as Dr. Hopper shook his hand and thanked him again for a pleasant first meeting. Liam then stopped at the front desk and made an appointment before they left the building.

As they headed to the car, Liam said, "Let's drop this off at the pharmacy and then we can go home."

"Do you think we could go to Granny's?" Killian asked, looking up at his brother. "I know I'm grounded, but I'm just really hungry for one of her burgers."

Liam's shocked expression lasted less than a second before turning into a big grin. "Don't tell dad," he said as they got in the car and drove away.

* * *

Well, she just fucked up that math test.

That was Emma's last chance. Now, there weren't going to be enough quizzes left in the semester to be able to get three A's in a row, and her grade is so poor that there is no way she's going to pass her final.

Emma was officially going to be in Mr. Jefferson's remedial math class again, for another semester.

Emma walked in defeat to Mr. Spencer's classroom. She was meeting her new tutor today, and she was intrigued to see who it could be. Mr. Spencer had assigned Killian to be her tutor because he was the smartest kid at Storybrooke, and if anyone had a chance of fixing her, it was him.

He failed.

Who did Mr. Spencer think could try?

Mr. Spencer was talking to a girl facing away from her. She knocked on the door as she slowly stepped in, causing Mr. Spencer to look up and the girl to turn around.

"Hi, Emma. This is Mulan, your new tutor," Mr. Spencer said, smiling and gesturing towards the girl next to him. She'd seen this girl once or twice in the hallway when she was talking to Walsh, but she'd never had a conversation with her before.

Emma held out her hand to shake Mulan's hand. "Nice to meet you," Emma said, politely. Mulan took it and shook it a few times, exchanging the same pleasantries.

"I've already filled her in with all the details about your situation and your previous tutor, and so all you girls need to do is figure out a schedule."

Emma and Mulan nodded as Mr. Spencer started to pick up his stuff. Right before he was about to leave, he turned to Emma and said, "Thank you again for your heroism the other day. Killian and Walsh both have you to thank."

Emma swallowed at the thought of them both before giving him a weak smile. "I'll see you tomorrow, Mr. Spencer."

Mr. Spencer left the room and Emma turned back to Mulan. "So…"

"So…" Mulan replied, and they both giggled at the awkwardness. After another pause, Mulan pointed to her. "I've seen you around a couple times. You're Walsh's girlfriend, right?"

Right before Emma was about to nod, she shook her head. "Uh, actually, we broke up…" she said, looking down at her books.

The room's tension grew before Mulan said, "I'm sorry to hear that."

"Yeah, well, that's the least of my troubles," Emma said before looking back up at her new tutor. "So, when can you tutor? And when do you want to start?"

"I'm free every day except Tuesday. Mr. Spencer told me he wants you to have as much tutoring as possible, so how does three days a week sound? Or would you like more?"

Emma groaned in her head before saying, "Yeah, three's good for now."

"Okay, I'm free right now, if you want to get a head start?"

Emma gave a slight smile. "Sure."

Mulan moved two chairs until they were right next to each other, sliding into one and gesturing towards the other. Emma sat her backpack down, slid into the open desk and grabbed her math textbook, notebook, calculator, and a pencil.

Mulan looked over the material before beginning to explain and it just…

It just felt wrong.

Sure, Mulan was explaining it fine, and she obviously knew what she was doing, but it should be Killian helping her. Killian taking his time and encouraging her, standing behind her and guiding her through each question, he was just so patient and he truly cared for her successes.

It wasn't necessarily that _Mulan_ didn't…

But more than Killian _did._

Damn, she missed her tutor.

Her ex-tutor.


	27. Chapter 27

Even from all the way up in her room, Emma could smell the scent of pancakes and maple syrup. Ever since she turned fifteen – her first birthday at Robin and Marian's – her foster mother would make her a birthday breakfast of pancakes. It became some sort of tradition, one that, for the past three years, she had looked forward to.

But today, Emma curled up in her bed, not wanting to go downstairs. It was the day that Emma said Robin had to tell Marian about Regina, and the thought of this being the last day as a family – the last day being together – made her sick to her stomach.

All thoughts were dimmed when her phone buzzed.

**_HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYYYY!_**

It was from Ruby. _Of course_ she'd be the first one to tell Emma "Happy Birthday". She shot an obligatory thank you text as another one came in from Mary Margaret. For the first time in days, Emma smiled, and it felt good.

She slowly got out of bed and went over to her closet, trying to decide what she wanted to wear to school. Once she picked out a black shirt, jeans, and red cardigan, she took a deep breath and left the room.

She met Marian in the kitchen, already dressed, and smiling as soon as Emma came down. Marian quickly finished the pancake she was making and ran over to Emma. She looked happy as she began giving her a big hug and repeating "Happy Birthday!" over and over again. Emma hugged back, despite the tinge of pink now on her cheeks, thanking her and telling her the food smelled great.

Marian went back to finishing the pancakes as Emma sat in the chair across from Roland. He already had syrup spread across his face and fingers, and he gave her a big, toothy grin. "Happy birthday, Emma!" Roland said, through a mouthful of pancakes. Emma couldn't help but to laugh at him. Sometimes, he was just too damn cute to handle.

"Thanks, kid." Emma took a napkin and placed it on her lap just as Marian walked over and gave her three hearty pancakes. "And thank you, Marian."

"Well, it's not every day that you turn eighteen, now, is it?" Marian winked at Emma as she sat down at one of the heads of the table. "Do you have anything planned for your birthday?"

"I think Ruby and Mary Margaret want to go to Granny's for dinner or something, but otherwise I'm just going to school, like normal." Emma shrugged as she put a bite of pancake in her mouth, melting at the taste. "The pancakes are delicious, as usual!" She said, when suddenly, Emma looked around.

Robin wasn't in the room.

Maybe he did tell her.

But, would Marian be this peppy if he did?

"Where's..." Emma cleared her throat, not quite knowing if she really wanted to ask. "Where's Robin?" Her question was slow, trying to gauge Marian's reaction to his name. As if on clue, Robin chuckled from behind her.

"Right here, milady," Robin said, walking into the kitchen and kissing Emma on the top of her head. Emma ran her hand through her hair as he sat across from Marian. Their little family was together for, potentially, the very last time.

She looked between Robin and Marian, thinking about how much she thought they were in love. Now, all she could see was an oblivious Marian in love with a cheating Robin. Her eyes glossed over, memories of family dinners and going to the movies flooding her mind. As soon as she told Marian – since it seems like Robin wasn't planning on it – she would break up this little family she had come to know and love.

Along with it, breaking her heart.

Sometimes, Emma would think about _not_ telling Marian and going on with their lives as if nothing happened. But that wasn't fair to Marian. She deserved _better_, even if Emma had to suffer because of it.

Emma stayed pretty silent during breakfast, solely answering questions if directed at her. She knew she was being cold, and Marian was probably concerned she did something wrong to make Emma so sad on her birthday, but she couldn't help her attitude. It was too hard to be happy when her life was about to fall apart.

"I better be getting to school. Ruby wanted to drive me today," Emma said, standing up and picking up her plate to go wash it.

Marian stopped her. "I'll do that," she smiled, and Emma placed the plate back on the table and turned around. Right before she walked out of the room, Marian called out, "Emma, hold on, one sec."

Emma looked back over her shoulder. "Yeah?"

"Regina's coming over today at 3:30 to sign your aging out papers. Can you make sure you're home by then?"

Emma's heart sped up, her eyes darting to Robin's. He gave Emma a look before turning down to his plate, scooping a piece of pancake into his mouth. Finally, she nodded and replied, "I'm coming home immediately after school, so it won't be a problem." Emma sped off after that, not wanting them to stop her again.

Ruby was just pulling into her driveway as she was zipping up her boots. She saw Mary Margaret get out of the car and wave. "I suppose I can give you shotgun," she called over as she ran up to Emma and gave her a hug. "Happy birthday, Emma!"

Emma smiled and hugged back. "Thanks, Mary Margaret."

Mary Margaret grabbed her hand, brought her back to Ruby's car, and pushed her in, slamming the door behind her. As Mary Margaret was skipping to the other side, she dropped her phone and picked it up, trying to make sure it was okay. Ruby locked the doors to give them a second of privacy, knowing she could claim she didn't know the doors were locked if Mary Margaret tried to get in. "Before she comes back…"

"Robin hasn't told her," Emma finished, and Ruby gave a nod.

She reached over and placed a hand on Emma's leg. "And what about the whole aging-out thing? I know that was stressing you a few weeks ago…"

Emma shook her head. "I haven't even really thought about that with everything else that has gone on. I just—"

_"Ruby! I think you accidentally locked it!"_ Mary Margaret's muffled voice came through the car windows.

Ruby immediately unlocked it, turning around in the backseat once Mary Margaret popped in. "I'm so sorry, Mary Margaret. My elbow must have pressed a button."

"Not a big deal," she smiled.

Ruby gave Emma a look before saying, "Happy birthday, Emma." Emma knew that Ruby wanted to say more, but let it go now that they weren't alone.

"Thanks, Ruby."

* * *

Emma opened her locker, and her heart plummeted.

Usually when she got here on a holiday or anniversary, Emma would open her locker and have a little gift from Walsh sitting there. She _knew_ there wasn't going to be anything from him there – not only is he not her boyfriend anymore, but he's also not allowed on school grounds – so Emma didn't really know what she expected.

Maybe that made the whole breakup that much more real, reminding her it was really over.

Emma closed her locker in defeat after grabbing her books and turned around, only to see Victor and Phillip standing before her. "Oh, hi?" Emma said, quickly wiping under her eyes, even though she knew she hadn't cried. "Uh, sorry I haven't talked to you guys in a while… It's just with this whole—"

"This is for you!" Phillip said, holding out a box. Emma grabbed it and noticed it was from the cute pastry shop at the edge of town. She opened it up to find a vanilla cupcake with hot pink frosting, white sprinkles scattered upon it.

"Oh, guys, this is really sweet, but you didn't ha…"

"We didn't," Victor interrupted. "This was all Killian." Victor held out a card. "He would have brought it to you himself, but, well, you know…" Victor looked uncomfortable as he realized he just brought up what happened the other night.

Emma smiled. "Regardless, thank you. This made my morning."

The two boys stood in front of Emma, and she couldn't help the giggle that left her mouth. Finally, Phillip gave a quick wave and said, "We should probably get to class…"

Emma watched them leave before she looked down at the cupcake and card. Emma reopened her locker and put the cupcake box in there, taking the green envelope and opening it up.

Emma covered her mouth when she saw Kermit the Frog playing a banjo on the cover of the card. He was smiling with the words, "Happy Birthday!" written in big letters on the top. Emma opened up the card to find a note, written just for her.

_Dear Swan,_

_I apologize I'm not able to give this to you in person. I hope Phillip and Victor didn't botch this up _too_ badly._

_I hope you have a wonderful birthday. If anyone in the world deserves it, it's you._

_Happy Birthday, Emma!_

_Killian_

Emma read the note three times, even imagining what it could sound like if Killian had said it himself, accent and all. She took a deep breath before putting it back in the envelope and stuffing it in with her cupcake.

As she shut her locker, she knew what she had to do.

It was time to talk to Killian.

She just had to get the courage to do so.

* * *

3:27 pm.

Emma was pacing her room with her heart beating fast, and she didn't know what she was more worried for.

On the one hand, she was aging out of the system. That meant no more support from the government and no reason for Marian and Robin to keep her here. They could kick her out on a moment's notice and not blink an eye, with no repercussions from the state.

On the other hand, she had to face Regina. Yeah, she was nice, but she always had a certain _something_ about her, and she now realized it was Robin. How was she supposed to look at this woman, knowing what she did with her foster father? On top of that, she had called Ms. Heartson and had a lengthy conversation of what she saw in Robin's store and what he confessed afterwards. Regina is going to be anything but pleasant when she sees her.

At exactly 3:30, the doorbell rang. Emma closed her eyes, thinking about how this was going to be the very last time she saw Regina. Robin _promised_ her that she would never have to see this woman again after today, and Emma knew that was the only way she was going to survive this weekend.

She heard Robin's voice floating through the hall yelling, "Emma!" Emma squeezed her hands into fists as she mustered all the confidence she's ever had into this moment, walking through the door and down the stairs.

She stopped halfway down when she saw a man she's never met before standing in the doorway, talking to both Robin and Marian. He had a teddy-bear smile on his face as he laughed at something Marian had said.

"Ah, that must be the birthday girl," the man said as Emma reached the bottom step. "Emma, I presume?"

He had an accent, and Emma tilted her head at the man as she reached forward. "Uh, yeah…"

"My name is Graham. I would say I'm your new social worker, but it seems like this is the last time you'll receive a visit." The man gave a chuckle, and Emma narrowed her eyes at him.

"Uh, where's Regina?" Emma asked, darting her eyes to Robin before turning back to Graham.

"Unfortunately, she's been relocated up north, about five hours from here. She had to give up all her cases, but I suppose that's good news for me, because I get to meet great kids like you and your brother," Graham said.

Emma eyed Robin again, noting his stone-cold face. There was a mixture of shock and sadness. "Um, when did this happen?"

"She got transferred Monday," Graham said, following Marian as she brought them into the living room. "Our boss – Cora Heartson – had her relocated without much warning."

"Do you, uh, know why this happened?" Robin finally spoke up. "Just because, you know, we've developed such a good relationship with her because of our two kids…"

Emma crossed her arms across her chest and hunched over, averting all eye contact from anyone in the room. That was _one_ way to put it…

Robin, Marian, and Graham talked for a bit. She knew now that she was an adult, she should probably be participating in the conversation a bit more, but she couldn't bring herself to do so. There was a whole new guilt in her stomach.

No, she didn't just cause Regina to lose her job. Calling Ms. Heartson had been on a whim, her emotions driving her to do irrational things. And now, Regina had to be relocated, and _all_ her cases reassigned. This Graham guy seemed nice – much more laid back that Regina ever was – but she took Regina, a constant in their life, away from so many kids. Emma internally punched herself, thinking of what she did to all those poor children.

"Emma?" Graham asked. "Did you hear me?"

Emma shook her head. "I'm sorry, I'm kind of distracted. What was that?"

"If I'm correct, Regina went through all these documents with you? And do you understand everything?"

Emma nodded. She had the general gist of what was going on, so when Graham held out the paper with a pen, Emma knew what she had to do. She looked down at the paper, noting the long descriptions before a line on the bottom. Underneath it said the words, "Case Number", "Name", and "Date". Emma filled in all the information before taking the pen and writing _Emma Swan_ along the line.

She swallowed as she passed it to Graham, who signed it himself, and then both Marian and Robin. As soon as she saw Robin pick up the pen, she knew her life would never be the same.

She wanted to throw up.

Graham made a few last pleasantries before shaking Emma's hand, wishing her a happy birthday and congratulating her for aging out of the system. Emma tried to lift her face into a grin, but it ended in much more of a grimace.

"I'll see you in three months when I come to check in on your other foster child. Goodbye, Marian and Robin. Happy birthday, Emma." Graham said, smiling and leaving the house.

As soon as the door closed, Emma crossed her arms and retreated from the front hallway, abandoning Robin and Marian. Not knowing what else to do, Emma went up to her room to get ready for her birthday dinner with Ruby and Mary Margaret. Suddenly, she heard a knock on the door.

"Emma? Can we come in?" she heard Marian's voice trickle through the closed door. Emma sighed, just wanting to be alone for a bit, but reluctantly agreed.

Robin sat on Emma's desk chair while Marian perched on the end of Emma's bed. "I know that was hard," Marian started, reaching for and taking Emma's hand. "I'm very proud of how brave you are."

Emma eyed Robin before looking back at Marian. "Thanks," she said, quietly.

"We wanted to remind you that you can stay with us forever. We'll never kick you out – we love you," Robin continued, and each new word caused another slash in her heart. He knew nothing of love. He shouldn't be able to dole out such words when he wasn't faithful to them.

"I know," Emma nearly whispered. "It's still hard."

Marian squeezed her hand. "It is, but you're a strong girl. If anyone can do something like this, it's you."

Emma nodded. "Thanks." Emma looked at Robin one last time before looking down at her vacant hand. "I should probably get ready to go out with Mary Margaret and Ruby."

"Of course," Robin replied, taking that as his cue to leave. He stood up and held out his hand to Marian. She smiled at took it, and together, her foster parents walked out of the room.

* * *

Emma was smiling as she walked back into the Hood household holding two gift bags. Mary Margaret and Ruby always knew how to cheer her up, and it felt good to just celebrate being _her_. She hasn't had much reason to celebrate lately, and having a night out with her two best friends was exactly what she needed.

She toed off her shoes and started walking down the hallway to the kitchen when she heard sharp tones coming from the room. Emma stopped in place and hugged the wall, creeping closer and listening to whatever conversation Robin and Marian were having.

_"With Regina?"_

_"Yes."_

_"But… I don't understand."_

_"I don't even remember how it started. I'm so sorry, Marian."_

_"I can't… I just can't…"_ Emma heard someone stand up and start pacing the room, another chair scooting back and walking over to the other person.

_"Marian, please, I want to talk about this."_

_"About what? About how you acted like you loved me when you were screwing _our children's_ social worker?"_

_"Now, Marian…"_

_"Is that why we never adopted them? Because you wanted to see _her_, and if we adopted them, she wouldn't come to visit anymore? You know how much I love those two, and how much it kills me every day that we're not their real parents!"_

_"No, I would never, ever keep them from being adopted for my own selfish reasons!" _Emma heard Robin's voice crack at the end, and Emma couldn't help but believe Marian's accusation, despite Robin's denial._ "I love those kids so damn much!"_

_"Just not me."_

_"You know that's not true! You know that we don't make enough money to…"_

_"Robin, you can't be in love with me if you're willing to sleep with someone else! That's not how it works!"_

_"Marian, just sit down…"_

_"No, don't touch me!" _Emma closed her eyes and could visually see what was happening in the room right next to her. Marian's red eyes, Robin sweating, Marian throwing her hands up when Robin reached out for her… _"How long? How long, Robin?"_

_"…Two years."_

There was a pause before Marian's voice, now crying, came through the door. _"So every time you said you loved me, made love to me, kissed me in the past two years, you were fucking her behind my back? Saying the exact same things to her as you did me?"_

_"Marian…"_

_"Robin, this isn't something that I can just take and move on. You were the love of my life, and I cherished every day we were together!"_

_"Me, too."_

_"Is this because we couldn't have kids on our own? Did I drive you into her arms?"_

_"Absolutely not!"_

Emma's heart ached, listening in. She slid down the wall until she was in a ball outside the door, listening to every word.

_"So why are you coming clean now? After two fucking years?"_

_"Emma walked in on Regina and me, and she said I had to tell you by today otherwise she'd tell you, instead."_

_"God damn it, Robin, she's going to think this is her fault!"_

_"But it isn't!"_

_"I know that and you know that, but Emma's not going to know that! She's going to think that she broke up this family…"_

_"She didn't, though."_

_"Emma's a teenager, Robin, with… With her own set of issues." _There was some more pacing beyond the wall as she listened to her foster parents talk about her._ "Do you even _remember _when she became our foster child? How long that initial meeting took because fucking Regina had to make sure we knew her whole past? How we decided to go to a class to learn how to relate to emotionally abused children like her? We've given her her first stable home, and now you're just taking it away from her."_

_"We don't have—"_

_"Dammit, Robin! If you think I'm going to sit here and pretend like nothing has happened…"_

_"But if we split up, we might lose both of them." _

_"So, your solution is to stay together? To just act like we're a happily married couple? For me to act like I don't know you've been unfaithful? For me to just _trust_ that you won't do it again with someone else?"_

_"But your solution is to leave me and have Roland thrown into a new home! That isn't any better!"_

_"So, what do we do now? What is your big, magic solution to all of this?"_

Emma heard pacing beyond the doorway, and even knowing they clearly weren't done with the conversation, she had to leave. Her heart couldn't take it anymore. She stood up as silently as she could and shuffled across the hall until she could fly upstairs and into her bedroom.

Hours after she lied in her bed, stone cold and numb, she finally fell into an unsettling sleep.


	28. Chapter 28

Killian woke up with a heavily beating heart. He was so excited to finally be going back to school, but at the same time, his stomach churned with nerves at the thought of facing all his friends and teachers Nothing in his life this far had compared to this anxiety, and part of him wanted to just pull the covers back over his head.

But, the other half of him realized that if he wanted to get his life back under control, he had to do what Dr. Hopper said by going to school and taking a step back from everything else. To do that, he'd have to suck it up and get out of bed.

Killian threw back the covers and got dressed. He wandered over to the mirror, only to find that his chin bruise was faded to a light purple color. Killian sighed, hating that he had physical evidence of his stupidity. He then turned around and made his way down to the kitchen. He met his father, sitting at the table and reading the newspaper, and his brother, texting away. Liam put down his phone and looked up at Killian. "Remember to take you medicine?" he asked.

Killian was surprised at how little his reminder irritated him. Sure, there was a part of him that still wanted to snap back, telling Liam he was almost an adult and didn't need to be babied. But now, Killian was able to handle that part better. "I was just about to do it." Killian walked over to the orange bottle on the counter and took out a single pill, swallowing it and turning around to the cupboard.

Dr. Hopper had been right when he said Killian's medicine would make him sick if he didn't take it with food. The first night, he ate only a few crackers when he took his medication, and his stomach was churning, nausea keeping him up all night. After that disaster, he made sure to have a real meal with it.

Pulling out a random box of cereal, he poured himself a bowl and came to eat at the table. His father put down the newspaper. "Are you ready to get back to school?"

Killian took a hearty bite of the Cheerios he had poured. "I mean, I'm caught up in all my homework and everything, but I'm nervous to see everyone."

"Well, just go back in there with your head held high," Liam said, standing up. He grabbed his keys, about to leave for another day at the navy. "And please, _please_, don't talk to that fricken munchkin."

"Walsh," Killian muttered, taking another spoonful into his mouth. Out of everyone, _he_ was the person Killian was least looking forward to seeing. "And that definitely won't be an easy feat. He's in most of my classes at Storybrooke."

"Then make smart choices," he said, as he walked out the door.

Those four words played over and over in his head on his drive to school, and it was only when he was standing in front of the brown building that he realized that day was going to be much harder than he thought it'd be.

* * *

Another night, another nightmare.

It seemed like no matter what, Emma couldn't get a good night's rest. Whether it was because of her grades a month or so ago, her unresolved feelings for Killian, or her foster parent's marriage, everything was just piling up. Everything was just painful.

When Emma's alarm went off at 6:45 on the dot, she wanted to change and get out of there as quickly as possible. After everything she heard the previous night, there was no way she wanted to confront them. Emma grabbed her backpack and was halfway down the stairs when Marian was standing at the bottom. "Hi Emma," she said in her calm, sweet voice.

Emma was standing five stairs from the ground, still and unmoving. Looking at Marian, she could see pity in her eyes, and there was nothing Emma hated more than someone pitying her. Emma just wanted to get out of there, but with Marian blocking the exit, she had no other option than to see what she had to say.

"I, uh, I need to get to school," Emma said, taking the few steps down and trying to maneuver herself around Marian, quickly finding out that there was no way for Emma to get around her.

"I've already called the school, and you're staying home from school today."

Emma's mouth dropped. "I shouldn't miss, I have this English essay due and—"

"You'll be able to turn it in tomorrow," Marian said, using a voice much more stern than she usually does. Emma couldn't help but notice the bags under her eyes, and how her cheeks looked slightly redder than normal. "Once Roland wakes up, we're going to have a little family-meeting. Until then, feel free to go back to sleep."

Emma was about to respond when she decided it was a battle she wouldn't win. She slowly turned around and trudged back up to her room, throwing her backpack into it's original position and flopping on her bed.

She took out her phone and texted Ruby.

_Staying home from school today. See you tomorrow._

Ruby, being the best friend she was, immediately responded.

**_Are you feeling alright? Or is this about Robin…?_**

_Robin told Marian last night. I overheard a bit, and it doesn't  
____sound good._

_**What were they saying?**_

_ IDK. It just seemed like a lot for Marian to handle… Which, I mean,  
____I get it._

_**So, why are you staying home?**_

****_Marian already called Storybrooke and told them I wasn't coming  
____in, and we're going to have some sort of "family meeting" once  
____Roland wakes up. I don't really know what to expect._

_**Well, good luck. I'll be home after school to talk if you need it.**_

****_Thanks. _

Emma laid her head on her pillow and closed her eyes, willing herself to fall back asleep. She couldn't, of course, but she was able to find some sort of limbo to keep her under control until she could face everything head on.

Before she knew what was happening, there was a knock on her door. "Emma? Could you come on down?" Robin asked, peeking his head in. Emma turned to face her foster father, her heart squeezing at the sight of him. She may be angry at him, but that didn't mean she didn't _miss_ him. She reluctantly nodded her head, standing up and walking over. Robin patted her shoulder before leaving it there, guiding her down the stairs and to the kitchen, where a big breakfast was waiting for her.

Roland, still in his PJ's, was already taking a huge bite of scrambled eggs. Emma sat at her typical spot, looking down at the eggs and bacon and waffles sitting before her. She took one bite of the eggs and picked at the rest, really not in the mood to eat anything.

After the most awkward breakfast she's ever had, the family retreated to their family room – the very one she was in just yesterday signing papers. Emma and Roland sat on the loveseat, Roland nuzzling his head into Emma's side, while Robin took a chair and sat it in front of them, and Marian perched on the coffee table.

Robin and Marian gave each other a long look before turning back to Emma and Roland. Marian's eyes were already glossed over, and Robin's Adam's apple kept bobbing up and down. Finally, Robin opened his mouth. "We love you both so, so much," Robin began, and Emma knew from those seven words that this was the beginning of the end.

She pulled Roland closer to her body as she waited for whatever they had to say.

"Sometimes, moms and dads aren't able to live in the same house anymore, and that's no different from foster moms and foster dads," Marian added, her voice cracking towards the end. "Robin and I… Robin and I…"

Robin leaned forward, taking the microphone away from Marian. "I'm going to go live in a different home for a while. It doesn't mean that I don't love you both. It just means you're going to have two homes that will love you."

Emma's throat tightened, and she could feel her lip on the verge of trembling.

"We're both going to be an important part of your lives. We're just going to be a happier family if I live elsewhere for a while."

"Are you getting a divorce?" Emma blurted out.

Marian looked over at Robin before turning to Emma. "Nothing's for certain right now. We're just going to be separating for a while."

"How can you keep us? If you're not together?" Emma asked, again. She felt stupid asking, knowing that she aged out of the system and taking care of her was not really a problem for them anymore, but she couldn't help but group herself in with her brother.

"Well, we called Roland's new social worker, Graham, and asked about staying with his foster parents despite the separation," Robin began. "It's tricky, but he said as long as we follow some guidelines, he gets to stay. As for you, Emma…"

"I know, I know…" Emma interrupted, slumping back into the chair and, once again, pulling Roland closer. "I've aged out, it doesn't matter."

"That wasn't what I was going to say." Robin leaned forward and placed a hand on Emma's knee. "And it does matter."

Roland looked between the three adults, a confused look on his face.

"We're all going to be happier this way." Marian did her best to smile, but it ended up looking like a twisted scowl. "I promise, we both love you so much."

"Do you have any questions… for us?" Robin asked, looking between the two children on the couch.

"So, is there, like, a custody agreement, or something?"

"Well," Marian began. "Similar to divorced parents, there will be a set schedule for Roland." Marian turned to Roland. "We don't know the exact details yet, but you will be here at the house the majority of the time."

"But I'll be in your life just as much, I just won't be physically living here." Robin added before turning to Emma. "And, you, Emma, get to choose who you want to see, where you want to live, and when you want to be there."

"If you want to stay at Robin's new place for the night or have dinner with me, you can go ahead and choose to do so. Robin and I have no say where you have to be," she said, and Emma could see the pain in Marian's eyes, afraid that Emma would choose to stay away from her. "Or, you can just choose to have the same schedule Roland has."

Emma nodded, and Roland finally piped up. "Why are you leaving?" Emma's breath hitched as she realized this is the exact question she asked herself every day for fourteen years. _Why does everyone leave?"_

Emma thought she had found a home that this would no longer be a question, or at least a question that only crept into her brain in the middle of the night when she remembered past homes. Never did she think Robin and Marian would be the one causing the same pain she'd nearly forgotten.

Everyone always leaves.

Emma looked down at her hands as Robin began to answer his question.

"Well, a parent's love between each other is very different from a parent's love for their children. We love you so much, Roland, and this new living arrangement isn't going to change anything."

"No one is leaving you, I promise."

Emma's heart was finally at it's bursting point. She couldn't handle the conversation any longer, and so she settled for running, like she always did. "I need…" Emma stood up and looked around the room. "I need to take a moment to think…" Without waiting for Robin or Marian to stop her, she dashed up the stairs, taking the steps two at a time, until she could be alone in her room.

* * *

Emma locked herself in her room, wanting nothing more than to talk to Ruby. Their family meeting had been early in the morning, and school didn't get out until 2:20, so it would be nearly six hours until she could talk to anyone.

Robin came in a couple times, and Emma kept kicking him out. Marian did, too, but eventually, they decided that she needed some time to herself to figure everything out.

Emma couldn't help the creeping thought that everything was her fault. _She_ was the one who walked in on them. _She_ was the one who introduced Regina to the Hoods. _She _was the one who forced Robin to tell Marian. If none of that happened, _if she hadn't come to live with Robin and Marian,_ they would still be happily married, and Roland wouldn't be forced to shift between houses. Regina would still be all those foster kids' case manager, and everything would be right again.

_It's all her fault._

It was about 2:00 when she finally left her room, sneaking to the garage and climbing up on the shelf until she came to her duffle bag full of everything that reminded her of Robin, Walsh, Killian, or Regina. She dug around it until she found a photo album of her life with the Hoods', and paged through it until she found her favorite picture of her family.

Emma jumped down and walked through the garage door until she came to sit on the swing on her front porch. Using her feet to push her back and forth, she stared at the photo.

It was the four of them at Storybrooke High's homecoming football game her junior year. All bundled up in Storybrooke hats and scarves, Aurora's mom had taken an action picture of them smiling and jumping when Storybrooke won the game. She traced the lines of Robin kissing Marian's cheek, of Roland pumping his fist in the air, and Emma clapping her hands. Her eyes filled with tears as she remembered how they went out to Granny's after for a celebration, and how Roland couldn't stop talking about his first football game.

Then, her body tightened when she realized that at this point, _when this picture was being taken_, he was sleeping with Regina. How could he play this perfect father figure to this wonderful family when, behind everyone's back, he was being unfaithful? It just didn't make sense to her, and every emotion burning her lungs came back in full force.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she ripped up the picture in half, then quarters, then eighths, as far as she could go until there were more little pieces than she could count. Staring at the pile in her hand, she felt nothing. She was numb.

Suddenly, the wind picked up, and piece by piece, the picture flew out of her hands. She watched them tumble down the street into the unknown.

There was something oddly settling about it, as if she was now free. It didn't make this situation any less hard, but seeing the photo fly away made her realize that she just needs to start over and get her life back on track.

She had to forgive Robin.

She had to let go of Walsh.

She had to stop blaming herself.

She had to embrace her shortcomings.

She had to apologize to Regina.

She had to let Marian in.

And she had to face Killian.

Each obstacle signified a brick that was cemented into her wall. It was used to protect her from the emotional pain she came to know growing up. But, this wall was also keeping love out, and she was letting her life go by without living it.

Everything in her life happened for a reason, and even if it didn't always make sense, no matter how many times she thought, _"Why me?"_ in the sweet blackness of night, now she understood. It was a cliché, of course, but maybe that just made it more true.

_What doesn't kill you makes you stronger_.

Emma was strong, and with each new barrier, she became stronger.

Being afraid that people won't ever love her has helped her in the past. It kept her alive and breathing in even the worst situations, and it kept her from getting too attached and vulnerable.

But now she _had_ people who loved her, ones who've promised never to leave, and she actually believed them. So, why was she keeping this wall up? There really was no reason for it to be there anymore.

It was going to be hard, but she had to tear it down.


	29. Chapter 29

I made you wait so long in between chapters last time that I thought I'd give you another one today. Only one chapter to go after this one, and there will be no epilogue. Thanks again, betas.

Without further ado... Chapter 29.

* * *

Killian skipped down the stairs Friday morning feeling more energized than he had the previous day. Yesterday hadn't been too bad – his friends were excited to see him again, his teachers gave him all the needed extensions, and everything was slowly going back to normal.

In fact, he even noticed that moving his fingers on his left hand didn't cause pain to shoot through his arm anymore. The moment he realized this, he dug under his bed until he found his old guitar, dusty from years unplayed, and began playing a song in soothing musical therapy. Even though the cast prevented him from playing as smoothly as before, it relaxed him. He even went online and bought some new sheet music to learn more songs. He read about this method in a psychology textbook once, and he actually couldn't wait to tell Dr. Hopper about his new technique at their next session.

Killian popped in his anxiety pill before going to the counter and making himself some toast, grabbing butter and fresh strawberries from the fridge somewhere along the way. He had his phone out, looking at everyone's Twitter updates when his brother walked in.

"You look like you're in a good mood," he noted, going to the coffee pot and pouring himself a mug. "I take it you had a good first day back?"

"Absolutely," Killian said through a big bite of his toast. "I was nervous before, but it ended up being better than I expected."

"Good," Liam replied as he dumped out the remainder of his cup. "I'm sorry, brother, but I've got to get going before I'm late. Have a great day at school, alright?"

Killian smiled and nodded. "Bye, Liam."

* * *

Killian just pulled out his history textbook when he heard a person clear their voice behind him. He slowly turned around to see Emma standing there, looking straight into his eyes as soon as she could see them. She placed a strand of hair behind her ear before walking forward until she was next to him, as if it gave her the confidence to do so.

"Your cheek looks much better than before," Emma observed, her eyes glancing down at his chin before back up at his eyes. "Although, I will miss when it was blue and matched your eyes." Emma gave him the small grin that he learned to love, and his stomach flipped at her joke.

Killian gave a half chuckle. "Well, at least I still have this to match." Killian held up his hand, showing her the blue cast. "But, it _is_ missing a signature…" Killian reached into his locker and pulled out a silver sharpie. "If I could have the honor…"

Emma took the marker from him, giving him a mischievous grin as she grabbed his hand. "No looking," she said as she turned his arm over and blocked it from view with her body. Killian watched as she wrote on his cast, her tongue sticking out to the side and her eyebrows furrowed, just how she looked when she was doing math equations in Mr. Spencer's classroom. "How does your arm feel?"

"It doesn't hurt anymore, although it itches like hell."

"Yeah, I've heard it does that." Emma smiled as she capped the sharpie, turning his arm over and dropping it. She looked back up at him. "I've never gotten a chance to thank you for the cupcake. It was absolutely delicious."

"I take it Phil and Victor didn't screw up, then?"

Emma laughed. "I mean, they _were_ a little awkward, and they just kind of stared at me… But otherwise, it was really sweet."

"I'm glad."

"The card was nice, too…"

"You can't go wrong with Kermit."

Emma's face dropped, their playful banter becoming much too serious. Killian wracked his brain, trying to figure out a joke to make Emma smile again. Before he got a chance to say anything, Emma spoke up. "I want to talk," she blurted out, and suddenly she became beet red.

"I believe that's what we're doing right now, Swan," Killian pointed out.

Emma bit her bottom lip before leaning in closer. "No, I mean about… you know…" Emma's voice was nearly a whisper, a ghost of the strong, confident woman he knew she was.

"I know." Killian hesitantly reached out his right hand and nudged it under her hand. "If I'm correct, you still owe me a meal at Granny's…"

Emma looked down at their hands just as the bell rang for the school day to begin. She slowly withdrew it from his grasp and turned back to him. "Are you able to go there tonight?"

Killian nodded his head. "Yeah."

"Well, then it's a date…" Emma's eyes opened wide. "I mean, not a _date_ date, but a…"

Killian gave her a tiny wink. "I'll see you tonight, Swan. 7:00 good?"

"Uh, yeah, I guess."

Just like the first day he met her, Killian gave her a slight salute as he left. He started walking away before looking back over his shoulder. "Have a good day, Emma."

"You too, Killian."

When he saw Emma turn around and walk in the other direction, he slowly flipped his arm around to see what she had written on his cast, smiling as he saw what it was.

There was a large swan doodled in the middle of his arm with a thought bubble coming out by the right side of its head. The formula "y=mx+b" was written in it with a question mark at the end. Underneath it all, the words, "Miss you as my tutor," were written in her sloppy handwriting, a little heart by the name "Emma" to the side.

Killian brought his hand down to his side as he walked into class, a light bounce in his step while he made his way to his desk in the front row.

* * *

"Ruby, this isn't a date. I'm not sending you a picture of my outfit!" Emma said in a slightly louder voice. Ruby was on speakerphone as Emma was trying to figure out what exactly to wear to this non-date.

"Yes, you are."

"I promise you, that this is in no way, shape, or form a date. I just need to talk to Killian about the kisses and clear the air between us."

"Fine, it's not a date."

"Why don't you believe me?"

"Just send me a pic, Em! It doesn't have to be because it's a date. I just want to make sure you don't embarrass me with some ugly outfit!" Ruby said, and Emma shook her head.

"How would what I'm wearing at all embarrass you?"

"I'm dating Victor, _his_ best friend, and I don't want him thinking that _my_ best friend has no sense of fashion!" Ruby said, as if it was the most logical thing to have ever come out of anyone's mouth before. "Pleaseeee?"

Emma looked at herself in her mirror. She had settled for skinny jeans, a long-sleeved green top with a black-and-white scarf. "When did you and Victor officially start dating?"

"Don't you dare change the subject on me!" Ruby shouted, and Emma reluctantly picked up her phone and took a picture of herself. She made sure to look annoyed in the photo as she _triple_ checked she was sending it to Ruby, this time.

"Please believe me when I say this isn't a date, Ruby."

Ruby didn't respond right away, and Emma knew it was because she was trying to decide if she approved of Emma's outfit or not. "Alright, you look fine."

Emma smiled to herself in the mirror as she grabbed her purse from hanging on her closet door and picked up her phone. "Thanks," Emma said, suddenly feeling more confident than before. She didn't need the approval from Ruby, but it certainly helped.

"Call me when this not-date is over, okay?"

"Okay. Bye." Emma hung up her phone and ran down the steps. She walked into the kitchen to grab the keys and leave. "Hey Marian, I'm going out for a while. I'll be back soon, okay?"

Marian nodded her head and waved goodbye as Emma wandered out of the house and to the car, her motions becoming autopilot as she took the familiar route to the only hangout spot in town.

* * *

Emma walked in and scanned the restaurant until she found Killian sitting in the back corner. He perked up and waved when he saw her, and she walked over and slid into the opposite side of the booth. "I ordered you a Coke… I remember Ruby saying it was your favorite at Victor's bonfire, I hope you don't mind."

"That's exactly what I would have ordered if I had been here," Emma smiled as she took a long sip, doing everything in her power to stall before the conversation began.

Killian must have sensed her uneasiness because he piped up before she got a chance to. "Who's your new tutor?"

"Mulan," Emma said. "Do you have any classes with her?"

"A couple," Killian nodded. "Has she been helpful?"

Emma bit her bottom lip, a habit she's quickly found she does around Killian. "She definitely knows what she's doing."

"That didn't answer my question."

Emma looked up at Killian behind hooded eyes. "She's just… Different. To be honest, I probably haven't given her a real chance, because I always hope that you'll be the one waiting there for me when I go to Mr. Spencer's room." Killian nodded in the same encouraging way he always did when Emma tried to answer a math problem. "Is there… Is there any way you can come back and be my tutor again?"

Killian gave her a sad look as he shook his head no. "Not for a while, I'm afraid. Even if Mr. Spencer said I could come back, I have to take some time to straighten out my life. We could still be study buddies, though. And hey! Maybe it will even work out to have Ruby and Victor there this time?"

Emma gave a small smile. "I think I'd like that."

After a small, uncomfortable pause, Killian took a deep breath. "So, why don't we just acknowledge the elephant in the room already?"

Emma could feel the air lifting out of her lungs at his words. It was time to come clean with everything going on in her life and why she'd been running away.

Emma knew she had to be the first one to talk. "Walsh and I broke up… Well, I suppose he broke up with me…" Emma said, staring at her hand drawing circles on the table. "He's been telling me for months that you were trying to steal me away from him, and I denied it. But after he found out about our kiss in the pool, it kind of, you know, set him off." She gestured towards his hand. "He broke up with me last Friday."

Killian nodded, waiting for the rest of the tale.

"I'm sure you've figured out I'm not really related to my family…"

"Blood is but one means to a family," Killian said it in such an eloquent way that she was once again reminded of how intelligent he truly was. "But, yes. Aurora told me months ago when I first became your tutor, and then it seemed to be confirmed when I met your foster mother and Roland. I didn't ask about it because I figured you'd tell me when you're ready."

Emma's heart fluttered at the sentiment. "Well, I've had lots of foster families in the past before finally getting placed with Robin and Marian. I was shuffled around a lot as a kid, and not always to the nicest of families." Emma swallowed thinking of the nasty situations she was put in when she was younger. "Because of all the other homes I've lived in, I haven't always been the most open or welcoming person, which is why I've kind of run away from you…"

"Ruby mentioned something about it…"

"Anyway, I ran to my foster father after Walsh broke up with me. We were really close, and I just wanted my dad to be my knight in shining armor and fix everything, you know?"

"You _were_ really close?" he asked, and Emma knew he had caught on to her choice of words.

Emma frowned before divulging into that part of the story. "When I went to his store, I found him kissing my social worker, Regina. Walsh had just broken up with me about a half hour before, and so my emotions were already running high, and seeing that just… I don't know. For some reason, I drove to the community center, hoping to see you. I suppose when I discovered that my "knight" wasn't actually a knight, I went looking for a new one, and your face popped into my mind."

Even though Killian had kept a cool face, Emma could see the wheels turning in Killian's head. He was the smartest boy she knew – clearly he could figure everything else out. But, she was done being a coward, done blaming others. Taking a deep breath, Emma forced herself to continue.

"When I saw you, millions of thoughts raced through my mind, and in the end, I just wanted to forget everything that happened. My emotions were so high that I wasn't thinking clearly, and for some odd reason, I thought sleeping with you was a good idea." Emma reached her arm across to hold his hand. "I'm so sorry. I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable or embarrassed you in any way. I guess I just don't really have a good grip on how to handle my emotions – something numerous counselors have told me I need to work on."

"Don't worry abou—"

"I'm going to worry about it, Killian. I put you in a terrible situation, and I thank you so much for stopping it before anything really happened. I think we'd both be regretting it if you hadn't." Emma retreated her hand and smiled. "I suppose you really are my knight."

Killian rolled his eyes. "Knights don't get into fights and try to steal other people's girlfriends."

"I'm not some treasure to be stolen, Killian, and I know you know that. I make my own decisions." Emma shook her head, "Even if I don't make the right ones most of the time."

"That's not true…"

They were silent, and Emma's Coke was completely gone by that point. She had nothing else to do, so she said, "Please tell me what you're thinking…"

"To be totally honest? I'm thinking about how much I care for you, and how I want nothing more than to make those lines of disappointment fade from your face," Killian smiled at her. "I've liked you ever since the first time I saw you, Emma."

"Is that why you were so awkward the day we met?" Emma joked.

"Probably," Killian admitted. "You were the first girl I've ever really liked… Those two-week crushes from middle school don't count."

Emma couldn't help but feel flattered. "I started liking you after Victor's bonfire."

Killian's eyebrows shot up to the top of his forehead at her confession. "Really?"

"Well, I think I liked you before that, but it was after you sang _Rainbow Connection_ that I truly knew that the feelings I had for you were more than just friends." The waitress brought her a new Coke, and Emma couldn't be more grateful to have something to do with her body again. "And I guess when you kissed me in the pool that everything was kind of ignited." Emma didn't add that _that_ had been the moment she knew she'd never love Walsh the same way again, that it would never be as strong as it was before she met Killian.

She saw Killian's Adam's apple bob when she said the name Walsh, and he was slightly out of breath when he said, "So, what do you want?"

She took a deep breath, knowing the next thing she was going to say was going to be the hardest. "Killian, I _just_ got out of a one-year relationship with Walsh…" Emma tried to give a smile, but knew not one part of her expression looked happy. "You're too… I don't know, _special_ to me." She made sure she was looking directly in his eyes when she said, "I don't want you to just be a rebound."

"Taking my words and using them against me, I see." Killian tried to joke, but the comment was stale. He didn't quite sound heartbroken, but he didn't sound joyful about it, either.

"I'm not ready to give up on us, Killian. I know being with you would make me happy." Emma said. Not knowing what she was doing, she stood up and slid into the spot right next to Killian. "I just don't think _right now_ is the right time for us to be together, you know? I think I'd screw everything up if we tried at this point in time."

Killian stared into her eyes, his breathing stopped completely. Slowly, he nodded his head. "I suppose I should be completely honest with you, too, Emma…" He grabbed both hands without looking away from her. "I'm not doing too well right now."

"Are you sick?"

"I suppose you could call it that," he said, finally looking away from her. "The stress of being, well, _me_ finally got to me."

Emma furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "What do you mean?"

She could tell this was difficult for him to talk about, by the way he was avoiding her eye contact. He hesitated before he began to explain. "I was working myself too hard in the pool, I was skipping meals, I wasn't doing homework, I wasn't being _myself_, you know?" He paused, and Emma waited patiently as he took a deep breath. "I wasn't that kind to anyone, making my brother and friends worried. I started to feel worse and worse, and staying up all night wasn't making anything better. My body was starting to shut down. Luckily, I didn't pass out until I was at the doctor's the other day, although there were a couple of close calls at the pool."

Emma's jaw lowered at his confession. "I had no idea…"

"Well, on Monday, I started seeing a psychologist, and he prescribed some anti-anxiety medication, and now I'm just trying to get my life back on track…" Killian looked down at their combined hands before looking back up at her. "I'm really not in a place in my life that I can be dating, Emma, despite every fiber of my being wanting to kiss you right now."

Emma wished this conversation had somehow gone in a different way, that he _could_ lean forward and just kiss her. But, both of them had just declared that they didn't want to date. Even though Killian had this way of confusing her – of making her lose all her self-control – she stayed put. "I…"

Killian started to lean in, and Emma genuinely thought he was going to kiss her. Instead, his head traveled past her mouth until his lips were right by her ear. "Our two kisses have both been tainted, love, and I want our first _real_ kiss to be magical." He sat back in his chair. "I want us to be together in the future, and if I kiss you right now…"

"It will ruin that moment," Emma finished.

"Precisely," Killian backed away from her completely. "Our timing is just off."

"So, what should we do?" Emma asked.

"Well," Killian began, scratching behind his ear. "Victor's having a bonfire in two weeks at the end of the semester… Perhaps we could go together? As friends, of course."

"As friends…" Emma tested the words in her mouth. "I could do that."

"And I think if we just kind of, figure this whole friendship thing out," Killian began, pointing his finger between the two of them, "We'll be on the right track for more, someday."

Emma slid out of the booth into her own side again. "As friends…"

Killian gave Emma the most serious look she's ever seen. "Believe me, Swan, we'll know when the time is right."

Emma gave a slight nod of her head. Her heart knew it was the right thing to do. She could never be anything more with him right now. It's not that she was still hung up on Walsh anymore – she has let him go and is working on moving on. It was more that Emma's heart just wasn't ready to be given away again, yet, and the next time she did, she wanted it to be completely available to love.

"Friends… With the promise of more." Emma stated, making sure _he knew_ that she had every intention of having a relationship with him.

Killian gave her a mischievous grin. "I can already guarantee you, Emma, that we're meant to be more than friends."

Killian stood up, placing some cash on the table before reaching his hand out for hers. She took it and slid out of the booth, noticing how right it felt to have her hand wrapped beneath his. "I thought I was supposed to pay, in return for that extra tutoring session…"

"I guess you'll just owe me another… _date_." He winked before they walked out of the diner together, parting ways after Killian walked Emma to her car.

Emma sat in her car as she watched Killian drive away, and it was then that she knew one thing for sure: there is no damn way that she'll ever be able to just be friends with Killian Jones.


	30. Chapter 30

_**Here it is: the final chapter!**_

_**I'm excited to tell you that I'm going to be doing a lot of "one-shots" for Tutor Me! These will be a lot of high school moments that don't quite fit in the story, e.g. prom, sadies, senior party, graduation, lots of cute moments, etc. So, while this story has come to a close, you're far from reading the last of this AU.**_

_**Thanks for my betas!**_

* * *

**Two Weeks Later…**

** Last Day of First Trimester**

"Mr. Spencer? Mr. Jefferson said that I'm supposed to come visit you after school?" Emma knew exactly what the meeting was about, but she still walked hesitantly into the classroom. Mr. Spencer looked up from the pile of papers he was holding and gestured to the empty seat he had placed right next to his desk. Emma slowly found her way to the seat, putting her backpack on the floor as she sat down.

"I'm sorry to tell you this, Emma, but you didn't meet the requirements of our agreement to come back into my class next trimester." Mr. Spencer looked down at the pile he was just perusing. "I'm proud of the improvement you've had – you've been getting B's on your tests lately – but you still did not get the three A's we discussed."

Emma nodded her head. She expected to feel a surge of embarrassment flood through her, but all she felt was relief. "You know what, Mr. Spencer? I'm actually kind of glad to be staying."

Mr. Spencer glanced up, giving her a small smile. "Is that so?"

"Being in Mr. Jefferson's class has kind of made me realize that being in the remedial math class isn't a weakness, but a strength." Emma grabbed the papers from his desk, paging through it. "Look at this – I wound up with a B- in math, whereas I would have had a D if I stayed in your class." Emma looked back up at Mr. Spencer. "The point of school is to learn, and I wasn't learning in your class – no offense…"

"None taken."

"Anyway, I'm looking at a few of the community colleges around Massachusetts and I think I have a good chance of getting into them. I'm thinking of doing my generals there and then transferring to a four-year university after."

"That sounds like a wonderful plan, Emma. But, Massachusetts? What made you look there?"

Emma's cheeks turned pink, thinking about Xavier Community College – about 20 miles away from Harvard. She would never admit the real reason to Mr. Spencer, so she settled on, "I think I just need a break from Storybrooke, and Maine in general."

"I'm glad to hear you're thinking about your future," Mr. Spencer said, giving his grin that used to intimidate her. "I wish you luck with your applications."

"Thank you, Mr. Spencer." Emma stood up and started walking towards the door.

"Have a good weekend." Mr. Spencer started piling up her exams and quizzes and placed them into a manila folder lying by his desk.

"You, too," she replied as she started walking out the classroom.

* * *

Dr. Hopper sat back in his chair and opened up the same notebook he used the previous session. "Welcome back, Killian. How has life been since I've last seen you?"

Killian walked over to the lounge and sat down right away. He was still reserved, but much more open to talking to Dr. Hopper than he had been since their initial meeting. "It's definitely been better."

"How has the medication been working?"

"Uh, good, I think. I don't know if it's because of the medicine that I'm feeling more like my old self or if it is because I'm not doing as much, but it's been going well."

"Any problems?" Dr. Hopper wrote down his answer in his little notebook. "Have you had any side effects?"

Killian shook his head no. "I didn't eat enough food the first night and felt sick, but after that, I made sure to eat more and I've had no problems."

"And what about eating meals in general?"

"I think I'm eating healthier, I mean, I suppose I don't have my brother shoving turkey down my throat anymore." Killian tried to grin and make a joke, but his face dropped to a tiny frown at the memory.

"So, tell me about school. How is it going?" Dr. Hopper looked at Killian with general interest and a kind face, and it caused him to open up completely.

"I'm kind of disappointed in myself because I didn't ace any of the exams this semester, but I somehow pulled through and got an A in all of my classes – including math at Mist Haven. I'm keeping my 4.0."

Dr. Hopper smiled. "I'm very pleased to hear that! Does this mean you're Storybrooke's valedictorian?"

"As long as I get all A's next semester, I will be." Killian couldn't help the proud grin that grew on his face. "My teachers were so supportive."

"I told you that your teachers cared about you, more than just you being their go-to student," Dr. Hopper pointed out. "And Harvard?"

"I haven't heard anything from them yet. I guess that's my biggest stressor at the moment."

Dr. Hopper took half a minute to write down some notes before turning back to Killian. "Now, Killian, how has your relationship with Liam been? Have you talked to him at all about your insecurities?"

Killian looked down at his hands and started twirling his thumbs. "No, I haven't told him anything…"

"Why not?"

Killian slowly brought his eyes up to meet Dr. Hopper's. "I'm afraid…"

Dr. Hopper crossed his legs and sat back in the chair. "What are you afraid of?"

Killian stared at Dr. Hopper, fighting an internal battle. Dr. Hopper was waiting patiently for his answer, and Killian wasn't sure he wanted to give it.

The stare-down went on for about a minute before Killian finally caved. "I'm afraid he will think I'm weak."

"How so?"

"I couldn't handle the pressure. He was the one who suggested I get a job and start saving for college, and I wasn't able to. I don't want him to look at me and think, _"That's my inadequate, little brother. He can't even hold a job for longer than a month."_ I just… I don't want to let him down." Killian couldn't believe how that little confession lifted so much weight off his shoulders.

"I completely understand," Dr. Hopper said, making Killian feel even lighter. "It can be hard to feel like you're disappointing someone you care about."

"You can say that again…"

Dr. Hopper nodded and continued. "But, I don't think your brother would see it that way. I think he wants to help you and doesn't know how. And, because you're not giving him any clues, he's at a loss."

Killian looked down at his hands, feeling guilty. "I don't want to tell him…"

"Alright," Dr. Hopper said, and Killian snapped his head up, confused with Dr. Hopper's agreement. "I would never force you to tell your brother anything you're not ready for. Just know that he'll be ready when you are." Dr. Hopper turned a few pages in his notebook. "Now, why don't you tell me about swimming? How's it going without it?"

"It's been really hard," Killian admitted. "State prelims are tomorrow, and I was the person from our district most likely to make it to state. Now, it'll probably be this guy named Greg from Nottingham that will get to go, even though _I_ always beat him."

"I know that must be disappointing for you."

Killian nodded his head in agreement. "I just… I've worked so hard since I started swimming back in Ireland, and I can't believe that when it's my big time to shine, I had to pull out of the race. I'm still going to go and watch, though. My best friend is on the team, and a bunch of us are going to go cheer him on from the stands."

Dr. Hopper perked up. "I'm glad to hear you're going to be supporting him." He shuffled through his notebook again before finding what he was looking for. "You mentioned Emma quite a few times last session…" Dr. Hopper's eyes flittered across his notebook before looking back up at him. "Any updates on her?"

Killian shifted in his chair, suddenly feeling very awkward. "Uh, what do you want to know?"

Dr. Hopper smiled at Killian, as if he could see something just from Killian's body language. "Anything you wish to tell me."

"I mean, we kind of hashed things out at Granny's… But we're not _dating_ or anything…" Killian wasn't quite sure how to describe their dinner the other night. How was he supposed to tell him that they aren't dating, yet they're on the verge of it? That they both need a little more time before they're ready? "It's just not the right time for us."

"What does that mean?"

"Well, Emma was in a one-year relationship with Walsh, so we don't want me to be a rebound. Plus, I told her that I'm not in a place right now where I can actually date, so we're staying as friends, for now…" Killian shifted again, hoping this conversation was almost over. He looked up at the wall clock to see they only had eight minutes left, feeling relieved he could use that as an excuse to stop. "Wow, the time flew by again!"

Dr. Hopper gave Killian a look saying he knew exactly what he was doing, but didn't press it. "You're right," he said. "Why don't we talk about future sessions and medication?"

Killian waited patiently for what his doctor was planning for him.

"I think I want you to come back again in two weeks. I don't think we're quite ready for a month in between each visit." Dr. Hopper continued. "But, I definitely think we're on the right path with how successful these past two weeks have been. Is that alright with you?"

"I think so…"

"And, I believe that since your medicine is going so well, we shouldn't adjust it quite yet. What do you think?"

Killian couldn't help feeling thanks to his therapist. Dr. Hopper kept asking for Killian's opinion, as if it mattered, even if he was a minor. "I think it's working right now, and we could probably try going off it in a couple of months or so?"

"I couldn't agree more."

"Dr. Hopper? I do have a question…"

"Anything," he smiled, getting his notebook out again.

Killian gave a quick glance at it before turning back to him. "What's going to happen when I turn 18 in May?"

Dr. Hopper furrowed his eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

"I'm going to become an adult, and I don't think I'll be allowed to come to a child psychologist anymore. Do we just, like, stop our sessions?"

"We still have six months before we have to officially worry about that," Dr. Hopper said, leaning back in his chair. "But, I promise you, Killian, that I won't "_just stop our sessions"_. If you're truly concerned, I can tell you that I know of a few adult therapists who I've recommended my patients to in the past, and we usually do _at least_ one session as co-therapists before I pass them off. But, like I said, we have plenty of time to worry about that later. Why don't we just worry about our time together now?"

"Okay."

"Is there anything else you want to tell me before our time is up?" Dr. Hopper asked, setting his paper down onto the side table next to him.

"I _did_ start to play music again," Killian suddenly avoided eye contact. "I read in a book once that music can be good therapy, and, you know, I just thought it might be a good idea to try it out…"

"I think that was a great idea, Killian. Good thinking," Dr. Hopper smiled, causing the tightness in his chest to relax significantly. "I'm glad you were able to find something that calms you. It's always good to have an outlet for your frustrations."

"You can say that again…" Killian replied, a little louder than a mumble.

"Are you ready for me to call Liam back in?" Dr. Hopper stood up and walked towards his intercom.

"As ready as I'll ever be…" Killian said, standing up himself.

After Dr. Hopper called them back in, he walked over to Killian and put a hand on his shoulder. "Your homework these next two weeks is to tell your brother at least one thing that's bothering you, okay?"

Killian nodded just as his brother and the nurse came in. "How's he doing?" Liam asked as soon as he was in the room.

"He's still great. We're going to continue the biweekly sessions for now, and hopefully within a few more sessions, we'll get down to once a month."

"And his medication?"

"Killian and I think it would be best to keep it as it is for right now. Maybe we'll adjust it soon, but it doesn't make sense to fix something that's not broken."

Liam thanked Dr. Hopper and the two left his office, Killian feeling lighter than ever. He watched Liam get in the car and start the ignition before he officially got in. They drove back together in silence, and Killian could feel Liam's gaze upon him every once in a while.

"So…" he said, quietly. "How was the session?"

Killian slowly turned his head to face his brother. He knew he had to tell Liam at some point, that his brother was _dying_ to find out about their sessions, but for some reason, he was having a hard time putting into words what he should say. "It was fine."

Liam continued to drive back home when Killian looked back out the window, finally murmuring, "You're my brother, you know…" without turning his head to look at him.

Killian could feel Liam shift in his seat, and as he glanced out the side of his eyes. "Oh?"

Killian sighed, mustering up all his confidence. Dr. Hopper told him that he had to be honest with his brother, and while he wasn't going to dive into _everything_ they've talked about, he could give Liam a little tidbit.

"I mean, I know you already know that, but…" Killian trailed off, trying to decide his words carefully. "I guess what I mean is that I appreciate you being there for me."

Liam turned down the final street towards their house, a smile growing upon his face. "Of course I'm here for you, Kill." Liam stopped the car as soon as they were in the driveway. "Don't you ever forget that, okay?"

Killian stared at his brother for a moment before leaning over the dashboard and giving him a hug. "Thank you," he whispered, almost inaudible.

It was an awkward hug, but Killian allowed Liam to take as much time as he needed. When they finally broke apart, Killian said, "I'll just go get the mail and meet you inside, alright?"

Liam gave Killian a grin before getting out of the car and going inside. Killian hopped out his own side and walked across the street. He opened the box and was humming softly to himself when he suddenly dropped all the mail, except one letter.

It was from Harvard.

News of his suspension must have already gotten to them, and Killian's heart began to beat faster than he thought possible. His eyes darted across the street, to where Liam was just inside, debating if he wanted to open it now or just let it go for a little bit.

Once he decided he couldn't wait, he slowly unsealed the letter.

Dear Mr. Killian Jones,

Due to recent events, Harvard University has chosen to review your  
application into our program. Our university prides itself in high  
standards for its students, and will not tolerate certain types of behaviors  
on our campus.

After careful reconsideration, Harvard University would still like to  
welcome you to the graduating class of 2019.

Should you choose to attend our university, you will be put on academic  
probation during your first semester. If there are no further concerns after  
that, you will be taken off of probation indefinitely.

Thank you for your application and an orientation packet will be sent  
upon your acceptance to our school. As a reminder, the deadline to  
accept is March 24, 2015.

Sincerely,

Dean of Admissions

Harvard University

Killian read through the letter three times.

Leaving the rest of the mail in a pile on the street, Killian dashed into the house, slamming doors shut on his way into the kitchen. His cheeks were hurting and he was out of breath, but there was nothing in the world that could stop him from this elated feeling.

"What happened?" Liam asked, his eyebrows furrowed with confusion. "Where's the mail?"

"Oh, shit!" Killian groaned, running back out and coming back with the other mail with record speed. He placed all the letters on the table hastily, beaming as he passed his Harvard letter over to his brother.

Still taking deep breaths, he watched as Liam read each line, his features morphing into a similar excitement the further down he got. When he reached the bottom, he looked up. "My brother's going to Harvard!" he yelled, throwing the letter onto the island and grabbing him in a big bear hug.

"Can you believe it?" Killian couldn't help the tears that were forming in his eyes. This had almost been taken away from him, his dream almost shattered right before his very eyes.

But he did it.

He was going to Harvard.

* * *

Robin's apartment had three bedrooms, two bathrooms, a kitchen, and a living room. Even though the Hood house had been small, this was significantly smaller, but it also had a sort of home-y feel to it that Emma liked.

Emma had decided that she was just going to use the custody schedule Roland used. It would get messy otherwise, and she really wanted to have both her foster parents in her life. Robin had been quick to set up Roland and Emma's rooms, to make sure they both had their own spot to call their own when they were staying with Robin.

It was Saturday morning around 9:30 when Emma was already dressed and eating breakfast. "Why are you up so early?" Robin asked, yawning and rubbing his eyes as he came out of his bedroom. "You do realize it's Saturday, right?"

"Ha, ha," Emma used the most sarcastic voice she could find within herself. "I know very well what day of the week it is. And I don't know why you're asking me, because you're just as dressed for the day as I am."

"Then, why don't you tell me where you're off to on this fine Saturday morning?" he said, pouring himself a cup of coffee and turning back towards her.

"Killian, Victor, and Aurora invited me and Ruby to go to the boy's swimming state prelims. Aurora's boyfriend, Phillip, is going to be racing, and since Killian isn't on the team anymore, we thought we'd all support him. Then we're all going to go to an end-of-the-trimester celebratory bonfire at Victor's tonight. He even said David and Mary Margaret could come, too."

Robin's eyebrows lifted just as his head did. "Aurora Rose from next door?" he asked. "I didn't know you two were friends…"

"Phillip and Victor are Killian's best friends, and since Aurora is dating Phillip and Ruby is dating Victor, I don't know, we all just kind of started hanging out together. " Emma shrugged as she picked up her plate and dumped it in the garbage. Her phone buzzed just then with a message from Killian.

**_ Aurora and I are outside. Are you ready to go?_**

_Yep! On my way down right now!_

"They're here," Emma announced as she grabbed her bag. "I'll probably be gone until late tonight. I hope that's alright…"

Robin waved her off. "Go on, have fun. Be home by 11:30 at the latest."

Emma gave him a small hug before she raced out of the building and into Killian's shiny black car.

"He made me give you shotgun," Aurora pouted as Emma got in.

"Hey! Phillip gives you shotgun all the time! I thought I'd just return the favor." Killian grinned as he put it into drive and left for the swim meet.

* * *

Aurora lead Killian and Emma through the hallways until they ended up at the pool. Since it was state prelims, the races were going to be held at Storybrooke Community Center. Killian was surprised at how unaffected he was with being back at the building, having so many unpleasant memories there, and was even more shocked that he wasn't more upset that he wasn't racing today.

Perhaps it was because Emma was holding his hand.

Friends hold hands, right?

Ruby and Victor were already sitting in the front row of the bleachers, saving almost the entire row for the rest of the group to show up. "About time!" Ruby shouted, pulling Emma to her other side and forcing her to sit down. Emma grabbed Killian's hand and dragged him with her, Aurora setting herself on his other side.

"I didn't realize how high these bleachers were!" Killian said, looking down upon the pool. "They seem closer when you're actually racing."

"I'm glad they're up this high. Otherwise, I would have been soaked coming to all these races."

Killian gave a nervous laugh as his leg bounced. While he wasn't depressed about not racing, he had a certain anxiety start to creep up into his stomach. He started shifting in his seat as he watched Phillip and the other racers stretch out.

Emma placed her hand on his good arm, jolting him out of his thoughts and back towards her. "Everything all right?" she asked, genuine concern in her eyes.

"Yeah, just bringing back some memories…" Killian said. Emma secretly laced her hands with his, and Killian's body instantly relaxed.

Phillip's first race was called to the pool, and Killian, Emma, and the rest of the gang stood up in support. Killian internally laughed, thinking of all the Nottingham, Atlantis, and Arendelle fans they were probably blocking.

The buzzer rang, and they were off.

Killian had never seen Phillip race from this angle and, he had to admit, he was pretty good. He looked like he was flying through the water, his arms going up and down at the perfect angles to propel him faster across the pool. Killian was shocked to see the lead he was slowly starting to gain as he continued his lengths, cheering along with the rest of his friends when Phillip hit the edge of the pool and jumped up in victory.

It was then that Killian realized that Phillip was a spectacular swimmer.

Killian always knew he was good, that he continually won his races and that he worked hard for his place on varsity. He'd noticed that Phillip would take Coach Eric's suggestions and apply them immediately, earning praises from their favorite coach.

Suddenly, conversations between them made sense.

_"I remember being on the swim team our freshman year, and I've never seen you not win. Even your worst strokes were better than my best – even better than the upperclassman."_

_"I'm not going to lie, I won't miss him snickering whenever he beats me in a race… And now I'm second best on the team, after you, of course."_

Since Killian had been so close to the action, and the team's "star swimmer", he hadn't really seen how good his best friend really was. In fact, he was better than good, and if it wasn't for Killian being the cocky bastard he always was, maybe he would have seen it sooner. Maybe he would have noticed that his best friend wasn't _that_ far behind him in all those races.

Maybe he could have praised his friend as much as his friend praised _him_.

Now, it was finally his time to shine.

By the time it was the final race, Killian's voice was raw from screaming Phillip's name. He was finally going up against Greg Mendell and Stefan King (along with a couple of underclassman he didn't know the names of), and whoever won this race was going to go to state.

The swimmers stood upon the platform.

He saw them crouch.

He saw Phillip take a deep breath, bending his knees a little more.

And he saw Phillip soar in the air before gracefully diving into the water after the buzzer rang.

Phillip had always claimed that the breaststroke was his best stroke, and he could see why. Killian watched as he dove under water, coming up for air, going back under, over and over again. Killian was in awe of his friend's skill, his technique, and he began yelling with pride as Phillip pulled further and further ahead of Killian's two rivals.

Killian's heart started pounding as Phillip turned for his last lap of the race. If he could get first here – if he could make it down the length of the pool before Greg or Stefan – he was going to go to state.

His best friend was going to go to state.

And instead of jealousy, he felt happiness.

Greg was starting to catch up, but Stefan way behind now. Phillip was still ahead of him, but the gap was closing. Killian saw the distance between Phillip and the edge – maybe 20 meters by now – while Greg was about 25.

It was then when some new source of energy must have gone through Phillip, because his last five strokes brought him to the edge, and brought him to state.

Killian, Emma, Aurora, Victor, and Ruby all jumped for joy as they watched Phillip push himself out of the pool, the rest of Killian's teammates all running towards him to give him a proud hug. The surge of pride Killian felt for Phillip was unnatural, yet he couldn't help it.

Killian waited patiently as the swimmers received their medals – Phillip, of course, got all gold – and then they all walked down to congratulate him.

"Phil! I'm so happy for you!" Killian said, after Aurora finally stopped hugging him. He leaned in and gave his friend a hug before pulling back slightly. "Wow, state!"

"I'm only going because you had to drop out," Phillip replied, patting Killian on the back. "It should be you."

"I don't think you realize how good of swimmer you are," Killian said, knowing it was the truth. "I didn't even know, and I should have, as captain."

"Picture!" Ruby yelled, and the six of them lined up next to each other as Ruby gave her phone to some random fan. Phillip stood in the middle with Aurora and Killian on each side. Killian gave a "thumbs up" as Phillip pointed to his multiple medals. He hadn't even noticed Emma holding his other hand until the group separated and Killian's hand suddenly felt cold.

"Bonfire at my house at 7:30. Don't be late!" Victor said as Ruby linked their arms. "See you then." The couple walked off, Ruby waving at Emma as they left the pool.

"I better go change. Aurora, you driving home with me?" Phillip asked, the grin from his face still hadn't disappeared.

"Yeah." Aurora turned towards Killian and Emma. "Sorry to ditch you guys, but…"

"Go on," Emma shooed. "We'll see you tonight."

Killian and Emma walked out of the Community Center and into Killian's car. "That was exciting," Emma said as they got in a buckled.

"I know! I didn't realize how well Phillip swam until today."

Emma turned to face him. "Do you think it'd be you going to state if you hadn't broken your hand?" Killian could physically feel her insecurities and pain. She thought she was the reason Killian wasn't going to state, and it hurt him to think she felt this guilt.

"After today? I'm not so sure. I hadn't been swimming well lately, and Phil is much better than I thought." Killian reached over and placed his hand on her knee while he continued to drive. "I'm actually surprised I'm not at all jealous," he said, before grinning and turning to her. "Must be the drugs."

Emma gave a slight chuckle as the light turned green. Killian retreated his hand and continued driving. "But in all honesty, he made me realize that I need to not be so self-involved – that I need to notice other people than just me."

"Phillip thinks the world of you – I'm sure he doesn't think you're self-involved." Emma said as he pulled up in front of her foster father's apartment building.

"Perhaps, but I do," Killian said, unlocking the doors for Emma. He didn't want her to leave quite yet, but there were hours in between now and Victor's bonfire, and there was really no need for him to be here.

It seemed like Emma had somehow read his mind. "Want to come in for some lunch? I'm not quite sure what Robin has here, but it's a long time before Victor's bonfire, and Roland would love to see you again."

"He can sign my cast." Killian grinned. "I'd love to, Swan."

* * *

Emma and Killian rolled up in front of Victor's house right at 7:30. They had spent the day together, and Emma couldn't help but like him more and more with each passing minute. It made her sad that she had missed out on getting to know him for three whole years, not to mention the weeks she ignored him altogether.

Killian reached for Emma's hand as they walked the pathway to Victor's backyard. They weren't together in any means, but somehow, Emma found them holding hands more often than not. He'd only reach for her in secret, though, not wanting to cause a scene that they _all_ knew would happen if they did so in public.

"Want me to grab you a Coke?" Killian asked as he guided her to the same chair she was in at their last bonfire. Emma grinned as she nodded, watching Killian walk away to get her a drink.

There were two extra chairs placed in the circle, and Emma was excited for Mary Margaret and David to finally meet Killian and his friends. She and Ruby had talked about how fun they were non-stop, and Emma couldn't wait for her two groups of friends to come together. She knew they would fit in right away, and she couldn't help but smile at the thought of how many friends she had.

How much she liked her life.

Killian sat right next to her as more and more people piled into the backyard. Everyone clapped and congratulated Phillip as he came in, and Emma didn't know if she'd ever seen a bigger smile.

Mary Margaret and David came, and Emma introduced them all to each other. Mary Margaret's bubbly personality fit in right away, and she immediately clicked with Kathryn and her new boyfriend, Frederick.

Everything was how it should be.

Somewhere along the night, Killian had a guitar in his hand. "I'm still a little rusty, and it might be choppy because of the cast."

"Stop making excuses and play something!" Victor said.

Killian strummed a chord as he tried to figure out what exactly to sing. Watching his mind spin, he turned to look down at his guitar as he motioned quickly through the fingering he'd need.

As soon as Killian did the first chord, Emma felt the rest of the world disappear, watching him look directly at her.

_ It's a little bit funny this feeling inside_

_ I'm not one of those who can easily hide_

_ Don't have much money, but boy if I did_

_ I'd buy a big house where we both could live_

Emma knew this wasn't an original song, but the way Killian was singing it made her feel like _he_ wrote it, for _her._ It was perfect, it was beautiful.

_ If I were a sculptor, but then again no_

_ Or a man who makes potions in a traveling show_

_ Oh, I know it's not much, but it's the best I can do_

_ My gift is my song, and this one's for you_

Emma's heart fluttered, listening to the words he was singing as he played. How could he have given this up? He was so talented, his guitar skills far superior to anyone she's heard, _and_ he was in a cast.

_ And you can tell everybody, this is your song_

_ It may be quite simple but now that it's done_

_ I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind_

_ That I put down in words_

_ How wonderful life is while you're in the world._

Just as Killian opened his mouth to start the second verse, a Root Beer can flew in the air and hit his arm, causing Killian to jump in surprise. "What the bloody hell?"

"Stop serenading Emma!" Phillip yelled from across the circle.

Even in the dark, Emma could see Killian's cheeks turning pink as his other friends agreed. He reached back and started scratching the space just behind his ear – a motion Emma couldn't help but giggle at when she saw his face. "I… I didn't…"

"Give it here!" Phillip said, reaching out for the guitar. David grabbed it from Killian and passed it over. "I'll show you how it's done."

Although he wasn't quite as good as Killian, Phillip began playing the tune to Hall of Fame, and before she knew it, everyone was singing along, laughing and enjoying the starlight. Emma couldn't help the smile that was drawn on her face as she sang right along with everyone else.

Emma caught Killian's eye, and they both stared at each other, completely ignoring the rest of the group. His eyes sparkled, his grin growing. Emma wanted nothing more than for it to be just the two of them, with no one else around to interrupt.

Her stomach flipped when she saw him nudge a little closer to her, and when he reached for her hand, it felt like it was on fire. She looked down and their combined hands, the music completely forgotten. Her heart rate began to increase, and she felt the sides of her cheeks lift up. Emma's eyes slowly moved back to meet Killian's, the blue in them swirling even more than usual from the fire. She let out the breath she didn't know she was holding, and Killian gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

Killian said they'd know when it was time for them to be a couple.

And it was then that she knew.

It was time.

* * *

**_I'm coming back with my second multi-chapter fic soon:_**

**_The Lady of the Night_**

**_Summary: When Killian Jones loses both his long-term girlfriend and his hand in the same night, he wants nothing more than to forget. In a moment of weakness, he calls Mr. Gold's Escort Service. For the next few weeks, Killian enjoys the company of the woman Mr. Gold calls, "The Swan", but what happens when he finds out she's the younger sister of his best friend from college? CS Client/Prostitute AU, CS Best Friend's Sibling AU. There is no smut in the story, but there are implied sexual situations. Rated T._**


	31. Tutor Me Bonus 1: Operation Star Wars

**Summary:** When Ruby is invited by Victor to go to the midnight premiere of Star Wars, Emma and Ruby devise a plan to get Killian to invite her, too. Set in the Tutor Me universe.

**A/N:** No, I didn't forget about the Tutor Me One-Shots I promised. I just didn't have any inspiration… Until I saw the amazing STAR WARS: The Force Awakens.

**_NO STAR WARS MOVIE SPOILERS ARE IN THIS FIC_**.

* * *

"You don't even like Star Wars! Why would you want to go to the midnight premiere?" Emma asked Ruby as she tried to pick out an outfit for her third official date with Killian.

Ruby shrugged. "Victor asked me, and I thought it might be kind of fun to go to the premiere." A thin, wolf-like smile grew on her face. "Besides, I could pretend that I'm cold and ask him to drape his arm around me."

That earned a big eye roll from Emma. "Whatever Ruby… How's this?" She turned around and showed off a blue top and dark skinny jeans.

"Perfect!" Ruby replied after looking her once-over. "I'm actually surprised Killian didn't ask you to come along – Victor said he's pretty pumped about the premiere."

"Really?"

"Yeah, and Kathryn, Phillip, Aurora, and him are all going with us. He really hasn't asked you?"

Emma frowned as she turned back to the mirror, her heart slightly dropping. "He probably knows I wouldn't want to go to Star Wars, or something," Emma replied, her voice shakier than it was a minute ago.

Ruby walked around Emma to block her from her mirror, putting a hand on each shoulder. "It's still over a week away, there's still time for him to ask you to come."

Emma shrugged. "He obviously doesn't want me to come."

"You don't know that," Ruby dropped her hands. "Plus, I thought you said Star Wars was stupid. You claimed you weren't into that type of thing."

"I'm not," Emma brushed the bottom of her shirt, as if getting off a piece of dirt. "But if it's as big of deal to him as you claim it is, it would have been nice for him to want to share the premiere with me."

"Do you want to go?"

It was 100% true that she wasn't into it, but there was something about not being able to go that disappointed her. "It would be kind of fun, you know?"

"Well, then. Let's get Killian to invite you."

"How?"

Ruby smiled. "By dropping hints."

"Wouldn't it be easier just to tell him?" Emma asked, moving her head around to double-check her outfit one last time.

"Easier, yes." Ruby ran to Emma's desk and picked up her brush. "But more fun? Hell no."

* * *

"I'm going!" Killian called as he rushed down the stairs.

Liam turned to face Killian. "And where are you going?"

Killian reached for the keys. "Emma and I have a date tonight."

"Where are you going?"

"No where special." Killian walked over to the corner and grabbed his shoes to put on. "We're just picking up pizza and driving to the park to hang out."

"Sounds fun," Liam replied as he walked over to the door. "Have a good time. Be home—"

"By 11:00, I know."

Liam laughed as he turned around. "Drive safely, little brother."

"Younger brother," Killian mumbled under his breath as he grabbed the keys and went out the door.

Emma had said she'd be waiting on the porch for him to get there, but he wasn't prepared to see her when he pulled into Marian's driveway.

She was gorgeous, as always, but she had styled her hair differently.

Significantly differently.

Instead of the long, straight hair she sported to school everyday, including that very day, she had her hair in two perfect buns, one on each side of her head.

She smiled as she got into the car, leaning over and pressing a soft kiss on his cheek. "Hey Killian." She said, so nonchalantly that he barely registered that she said anything.

"You look amazing," Killian replied, still looking at her in awe.

Emma smiled. "Thanks." She settled into the passenger seat. "Where are we off to?"

"We have to pick up the pizza from Tony's and then we can go to…" He drifted off as he continued to stare at Emma.

"Earth to Killian," Emma replied, waving her hand in front of Killian's face. "Where are we going?"

Killian shook his head, closing his eyes and turning back to the car. "We're just going to the park to have pizza and look at the stars, and hang out. Is that okay?"

"Perfect," Emma said as she picked up her phone out of her purse and typed something quickly.

* * *

"Tell me everything," Ruby squealed over FaceTime.

"It was so romantic, Ruby! He brought me to—"

"Not that! What did he say about your hair?"

Emma smiled into the camera. "He was totally flustered with it for a lot of the night, like it was some amazing thing I did."

"It probably was, to him. He's such a Star Wars nerd that he's probably had dreams of you as Princess Leia. Did he say anything about it?"

Emma shook her head no. "He didn't mention it at all, and he still didn't invite me to the movie."

"Well, it sounds like he certainly noticed. And, we'll just have to do a few more subtle things to make him realize you want to go."

"Like what?"

Emma hopped into Ruby's car Monday morning. Before she even had a chance to say anything, Ruby passed her a pair of earrings. "I guess this is called D-8, or something."

"Huh?"

"I don't know, it's from the new Star Wars movie. It's some little droid, like R2D2 or something."

"Why does it have a circle body?" Emma asked as she pulled out her silver studs and placed them in her backpack.

Ruby backed out of the driveway and turned left towards Storybrooke High. "Emma, I couldn't tell you if my life depended on it. Just take the earrings and make sure Killian sees them at least four times today, okay?"

Emma let out a sigh as she started to place the dangly earrings in.

* * *

"Hey, Emma. I thought I'd walk you to Mr. Jefferson's class today," Killian said after running up to her locker.

"Sure," she replied, "Let's go."

She closed her locker as she pushed a piece of hair behind her ear. His eyes followed her hands, and as she dropped it, he noticed an orange and yellow circle hanging from her ear. He leaned in a bit closer, trying not to be creepy, as he looked at her earrings.

"Is that…?"

"Thanks for the walk," Emma interrupted as she stood outside of Mr. Jefferson's classroom. "I'll see you at lunch, okay?"

"Okay." She turned around and walked into the classroom, leaving Killian alone in the hallway.

He turned to go to Mrs. Darling's science class, dashing to his seat to talk to Victor and Phillip before the bell rang.

"What's got you going?" Phillip asked.

Killian cocked his head. "I think Emma's wearing BB-8 earrings today."

"From the new Star Wars movie?"

"Yeah! I didn't think she was into that movie."

Victor leaned forward. "Are you sure? They could have just been a snowman, or something."

"No, I'm almost positive it was BB-8."

Phillip sat back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. "Well, you're just going to try to see them again."

"How do I do that?"

"Just tuck her hair behind her ear for her, or something. Just as long as you get a glimpse of it." Victor suggested.

"Alright, I'll try."

* * *

Killian waved to Emma from their typical table at lunch. Giving Ruby a slight nod, she pulled her hair into a high ponytail, allowing the droid earrings to hang freely.

She went over and sat by him, smiling at the table as she got out her lunch. "How's it going so far today?" Emma could feel Killian's eyes on her ears, almost feel him shift slightly to look a little closer at her ear. It made her grin internally, knowing that Ruby's plan was working.

She barely heard anyone talking, or what the conversations were about. It wasn't until she heard Phillip say, "Emma?" that she came back into the conversation. "Sorry, what?"

"I asked where you got your cool BB-8 earrings."

She felt Killian still next to her. "I got them at the outlet mall in Arandelle. I didn't know you liked Star Wars!" She knew her enthusiasm was forced, but she was almost positive no one noticed.

"Oh yeah, ever since I was a kid and saw all the movies. We're actually going to the midnight premiere next Thursday."

Emma feigned surprise. "Really?"

"Yep! It's going to be awesome!" Kathryn exclaimed.

Emma turned towards Killian. "I bet it is."

* * *

Ruby barged into Emma's room at Robin's apartment with two long tubes. "I'm going to FaceTime Killian in five minutes. What are you doing here?"

"Doing part three of Operation Star Wars." She opened the containers and shook out the contents. "Do you really think I'd forget about your love life – or your Tuesday late-night FaceTime dates?"

Emma rolled her eyes, knowing that Ruby probably knew Emma's love life better than she knows herself. "If you know when I FaceTime with Killian, then why are you here?"

Ruby unrolled what was in her hands – two huge posters. There was one of Yoda with a light saber and another one of A New Hope's promotional picture. "Why do you have those?"

"Where's your tape?" she asked, ignoring the question. Emma pointed to the top drawer of her desk. "Where are you going to be sitting?"

"Over there," she pointed to her bed. Ruby shuffled over there and started to take down her Maroon 5 poster. "Hey!"

"Don't worry, you can put this back up after the date. He just needs to see these posters in the background." She began taping up the two posters. "Now, right as you sign on, you need to be out of the shot so that all he sees are the two posters. Then, you can come in and have your normal date – just make sure you get up to get water at least once."

Emma raised her eyebrows, surprised at how planned out this was. "How many steps are there to this Operation Star Wars? It's only a week away."

"Just two more. Hold this corner—" Emma let out a sigh as she walked over to help Ruby just as her computer began to ring. "Crap! Don't get it yet"

"Ruby! I have to answer!"

"It's not hung up yet!"

"But—"

"He'll call back." She yelled, just as she placed the last piece of tape. "There! You might even catch this call!" Emma raced over to her bed and grabbed her computer. "Make sure he only sees the posters before you—"

Emma shot her a look before pressing the answer button and lying the computer on her bed. "Be right there in a second, Killian. I just have to grab my… my…" Emma's eyes opened wide while Ruby pointed to her desk. "Lamp?"

"What?" Killian's confused voice sounded from the computer as Ruby hit her head with her hand.

She mouthed the words _"science book"_ before quietly exiting the room. Emma grabbed the textbook and hopped onto the bed. "Sorry, Killian. I was just finishing up some science homework."

Killian seemed to be looking over Emma's shoulder as he answered, "Not a problem, Love."

* * *

"Repeat after me: _In my experience, there is no such thing as luck_."

"What?" Emma asked on the car ride over.

"Just do it, okay? And make sure you say it to Killian at some point today."

Emma closed her eyes as she repeated, "_In my experience, there is no such thing as luck._"

* * *

"Mr. Marco's test was so hard today!" Phillip said as they stood in the hallway after school.

"I know! What did you put for number five?" Aurora asked, turning towards Killian.

"Was that the one on Eastern Europe? It was A."

"Crap! I put C!" Victor said, frowning.

"Yes! I put A!" Phillip jumped in the air, punching his fist. "I'm so lucky!"

Killian saw Emma's eyes open slightly as she answered, "In my experience, there is no such thing as luck."

All their faces dropped as Victor turned to Emma. "Are you quoting… Obi-Wan Kenobi?"

Emma smiled sweetly at Victor. "The one and only!"

Killian turned to face her, curiosity running through his whole body. "I wasn't aware you liked Star Wars."

Emma shrugged as she looked innocently at Killian. "I've got to go. I'll see you tomorrow," she said, giving Killian's hand a squeeze before walking away towards the door.

Killian turned back to his friends before shaking his head. "I've got to go, too. Later, mates."

Throughout the drive home, all Killian could think of was Emma quoting Obi-Wan. It didn't make sense – in all the months he's known her, she had displayed 0 interest in the franchise.

He must have had an odd look on his face because his brother immediately asked, "What's got you vexed?" as soon as he walked in.

"It's nothing."

Liam looked at Killian as if he wasn't buying it. "Come now, brother. I don't want you keeping secrets from me anymore. Remember what happened last time?"

Flashes of four months ago raced through his head, along with a shooting pain in his left arm, despite it being completely healed. He groaned as he sat down at the table. "You're going to say it's so stupid."

"Nothing about your life is stupid. Tell me."

Killian let out a breath. "Emma's been acting weird lately."

"Like she's going to break up with you weird?"

"No, nothing like that," Killian replied, a bit too quickly. "So, remember our date last Friday?" Liam nodded. "She wore her hair in two buns."

"Okay…"

"She always wears her hair down!" Killian replied, shaking his hands to the sides.

"So she wanted to wear her hair up, big deal."

"She wore her hair like Princess Leia from Star Wars."

"OR, she's just wearing her hair in two buns."

Killian shook his head. "It's not just that, though. She also had BB-8 earrings on the other day—"

"I don't know what that is…"

"It's the circle droid from the new movie."

Liam nodded, silently asking him to move on.

"Then, when we were FaceTime-ing the other night, she had a bunch of Star Wars posters up on the wall, and then this afternoon, she quoted Obi-Wan Kenobi!"

Liam sat there for a second, clearly waiting for Killian to continue. When he just sat there, Liam leaned forward. "Oh, I was under the impression that there was more to this tale."

Killian stood up. "Alright, this conversation is do—"

"Sit down, sit down." Liam said, grabbing his hand and bringing him back down into his chair. "So, really, you're just trying to decide if your girlfriend is a Star Wars nerd like you?"

Killian groaned, dragging a hand over his face. "You make it sound simple."

"Hate to break it to you, but it really is simple. It sounds like she likes Star Wars, so there's really no downside to this."

Killian sighed. "I'm probably just imagining things…"

"Nonsense. Just ask her tomorrow."

* * *

"No, Ruby, he hasn't asked me yet, and I'm not going to beg him to go!"

Ruby pouted, bringing her hand up to her face to think. "He's a smart kid, I really would have thought he'd put two and two together."

Emma waved her hands beside her. "What's your grand finale, because nothing's worked so far?"

"Oh, this one is a little less subtle than the rest…" Ruby said, slowly walking towards her friend. "Believe me when I say that he'll ask you as soon as you do this."

"Why do I have a bad feeling about this?"

* * *

_Buns, earrings, posters, quote. Buns, earrings, posters, quote._

The four words looped on repeat in his brain, but he knew he had to ask because it was driving him crazy.

Not that he wouldn't be totally overjoyed if she loved Star Wars as much as him. He would be floored, ecstatic! There would be nothing he loved more than if he could geek out about Star Wars with his girlfriend.

_Buns, earrings, posters, quote._

He walked into the school and, instead of going to his locker, he went straight for Emma's. "Emma, I have a question for… Are you R2D2?"

Lo and behold, her shirt was an exact replica of what R2D2's machinery looked like with a black cardigan. He couldn't stop staring at her shirt until she said, "Eyes up here, Killian."

His cheeks turned pink as he lifted his head to look at her. "Are you into Star Wars?"

"No."

"Then why are you dressed like R2D2? And wearing Leia buns in your hair and have posters of Star Wars in your bedroom?" Killian shot his arm out to her shirt to emphasize his point.

Emma hit her head on her locker before turning back to him. "I want to go to the midnight premiere with you, Killian! Why didn't you invite me?"

Killian sucked in a breath, tilting his head to the side. "That's what all of this was about? You want to go to a movie with me?"

"Victor invited Ruby! And Phillip, Aurora! It's not so far fetched to think your girlfriend might want to share things with you that are important to you." She slammed her locker shut. "It's not just a movie to you, Killian, and that's okay with me." Emma took a step forward, reaching her arm out and sliding it down his arm. "Plus, it would be kind of nice to snuggle next to you in the theaters." She shrugged. "I guess I just wanted to go to be with you."

Killian smiled before leaning in and kissing her forehead. "Why didn't you say anything? I'd love for you to come along with me."

"Really?"

"Of course! You'd be much better company than who I was already going with."

Emma smiled. "Are there any tickets left at the showing?"

"Unfortunately, that theater is sold out. But, I will gladly ditch those people to see the premiere with you at another theater."

"Are you sure?"

Killian leaned forward and placed a sweet kiss on her lips. "Positive."

* * *

"So, how'd you like the movie?"

At 3:00 in the morning, Killian was driving Emma home. His lips were tinged pink, and he could almost feel the hickey forming on his neck.

"Love, I'm not going to complain, but I didn't really get a chance to see the movie much, so I have no bloody clue if I liked it."

Emma laughed next to him before reaching over and holding his hand. "What about the overall midnight-premiere experience?"

Killian grinned as he pulled up to a stoplight. "Now _that_, I definitely enjoyed."

"Sorry you didn't get to see the movie. I know how much you love Star Wars."

Killian pressed on the gas as he started towards Robin's apartment. "Aye, and I'll somehow get Liam to take me tomorrow… today, or something, but please never apologize for making out with me."

Emma settled back in her seat. "I'd really like to watch the other six movies with you."

"Really watch? Or what-we-just-did watch?"

"I don't know, both, probably. But I would really like to see this one with you again." Emma let out another small laugh as he pulled up to Robin's apartment. "Thanks for a fun night, Killian. I'll see you Sunday?"

"Absolutely," he leaned over and kissed Emma's cheek. "I'll text you when I get home."

"Bye, Killian."

* * *

"How was the movie, brother?" Liam asked.

Killian dropped the keys on the table and took off his shoes. "Why are you up? I swear, all you do is wait around this house—"

"I wanted to make sure you got home safe. I took a nap until about a half hour ago — is that a hickey?"

Killian reached his hand up to cover up the exposed skin. "No!"

Liam turned on the kitchen light and walked over to Killian and pulled his arm away, leaning in closer to get a good look. "My little brother got his first hickey at the new Star Wars movie, how cute." He snickered. "She got ya pretty good, by the looks of it."

"Shut up," Killian replied, yanking himself away from Liam. "Do you still want to go to the movie tomorrow or not?"

Liam laughed as he pulled his brother towards the stairs. "Sure, it looks like you didn't get to see it, anyway. Get some sleep until then, okay?"

"Goodnight, Liam."

"'Night, Killian."


End file.
